I'M NOT DEAD! Finally got internet back and can post something. Not sure when my next post will be but here is the next one.

Disclaimer: You know the drill. I don't own any of the manga/anime characters in this fic. (except my OCs) they belong to their respective creators.

"Talking"

Thinking

Flashback

Dream Sequence

'Telepathy'

Chapter 18

"Okay you two. What and why?" Kagome asked opening up his laptop in front of the twins and pulling up the club website.

"You don't like it?" Hikaru asked with a sly grin.

"I think it makes you look even more like a bad boy." Kaoru said with a matching grin and a wink.

"Maybe but still. When did you two even have the time to get pictures of me in the school shower?" Kagome asked shaking his head.

The picture itself wasn't revealing per say. They had photoshopped a pair of leather pants on him and changed the background from the school shower to an abandoned alleyway with rain in the background.

"I'm more concerned with the fact that their taking pictures of you in the shower. Isn't that kinda…" Haruhi said trailing off not sure how to describe the creepiness of it.

"It could be worse. Better this than some of the other things that have happened to me while I was bathing." Kagome shrugged before wiping around and shoving Haruhi behind him as the door to the club room bursts open.

"HIKARU! KAORU!" Tamaki yelled as he burst threw the doors and charged the twins. "I left both of you in charge of the club's website because you promised to do it seriously…"

"Huh? We're doing it seriously." Hikaru said completely unfazed my Tamaki's rage.

"Yeah, we stayed up the whole night yesterday…" Kaoru said before he and his brother turned to the computer to bring up a picture of a half-naked male Haruhi.

"In order to create this masterpiece. Haruhi's composite photograph." They intoned together.

"Hyaaa! Haru-chan, you're so cool!" Honey gushed when he caught sight of Haruhi's picture.

"I'd do you." Kagome said causing Haruhi to blush.

"OUTRAGEOUS! You will not be touching my precious little girl!" Tamaki shouted pulling Haruhi into his arms. "And you to should be ashamed of yourselves. You're wasting your talents by doing this! If you really want to do it, you must use these celebrity idols' photography collection pictures to generate her photo. I want to see her wearing a fluffy pink dress."

"Only if she wants to." Kagome growled yanking Haruhi out of Tamaki's grasp and setting her down.

"It would be faster if you'd ask her to wear these clothes." The twins said agreeing with Kagome.

"Please everyone; let's not do this." Haruhi grumbled in irritation.

"Sigh… We seem to have nothing to do these days… Haruhi, can we go to your house and play?" The twins asked.

"No way! I will be laughed at anyway." Haruhi said.

"Then, can we spread rumors of you being a girl? I'm so bored." Kaoru asked.

"Hey… What am I to you guys, really…" Haruhi asked.

"That goes without saying. You're a toy." The twins said smiling.

"People aren't toys." Haruhi growled at them.

"Don't bother arguing. It's a twin thing. In the eyes of most twins the world only consists of 'Us' and 'Apart from us' and their speech and behavior stems from their decision of whether you are interesting to them or not." Kagome said with a shrug.

"If you like toys, please join my club." Nekozawa from the Black Magic Club asked coming in through a door that had not been their a few minutes ago. "Currently, we're organizing the world's ancient magical artifacts exhibition. If you join us now, we will also throw in a wonderful cursed voodoo doll for you folks."

"… Why must he appear out of shadows?..." Haruhi nervously asked.

"Because Nekosawa-senpai doesn't like the light. It's said to shorten lives." Kyoya explained.

"You must not take part in his life…" Tamaki said in a creepy voice sliding up behind Haruhi scaring the crap out of her. "If you do, you're sure to be cursed…"

"What's a cursed voodoo doll?" Hikaru asked as he and pulled out a flashlight and pointed it at Nekosawa.

"What about this much of light? Can you take it?" Kaoru asked as he copied his brother shining a light at Nekosawa.

"Arrrrghhh. Murderers!" Nekosawa screamed as he ran away and back through his door.

"HIKARU! KAORU! What's wrong with you two?... looks like both of you haven't experienced real terror…!" Tamaki yelled at the twins in fright. "Like the time where I accidentally stepped on the edge of Beruzenefu… it's even too scary to say it aloud…"

"Oh hear we go. Wake me up when he's done with his drama." Kagome said flopping onto one of the sofas and trying to ignore the world.

"After that incident my exam papers are filled with a jumble of nonsensical, illogical incantations, probably curses. When I realized that the situation seemed too suspicious, I glanced around the room and realized that I was warped to a different place filled with strangers!..." Tamaki elaborated while shivering in fear at the mere memory of the incident.

"That's because you were disturbed and went to take a Greek exam." Kyoya explained not impressed by his friend's theatrics.

"NO! That's a curse! The morning after 3 days, for no reason at all, my legs became as heavy as lead." Tamaki refuted shouting at Kyoya.

"That's because we had a marathon the day before right. Eh?" Kyoya said snapping his finger as if he just had a eureka moment.

"Why do we associate with these weirdos again?" Kagome asked leaning over towards Haruhi.

"I have no clue." Haruhi answered with a blank face.

"… Come to think of it… all those who speak ill of Nekozawa-senpai, their dick with change to a pussy…" The twins said causing Tamaki to scream and start to strip to check his junk.

"Haruhi! Haruhi! Quick! Look at Daddy's dick! Daddy's going to die!" Tamaki cried running up to Haruhi.

"OVER MY DEAD BODY!" Haruhi yelled right as Kagome whipped around and clocked Tamaki knocking him out.

"Kyoya! He's your bloody friend! You deal with him!" Kagome shouted grabbing Haruhi and starting to walk off with her to their hosting spot while Kyoya and More put Tamaki's clothes back on while the twins snickered at the drama they caused, and Honey lectured the unconscious host about public indecency. "Again, I ask. Why the hell do we associate with these dumb asses?"

"We owe them money." Haruhi sighed.

- 1 Hour Later -

"Stop sulking you two." Kagome grinned looking at the twins who had been forbidden from having guests for the next two days. "I would gladly switch you and take a nap."

"Seriously, when are you going to stop throwing tantrums?" Haruhi asked glancing at the twins after giving one of her guests a slice of cake.

"Then let us go to your house and play." The twins insisted.

"That's impossible." Haruhi said.

"You can come over to my place. I have plenty of laundry you could do." Kagome said laughing.

"Pass!" The twins yelled glaring at him. "What do we look like to you? Your maids?"

"Well… I'm sure I can find you two some sexy maid outfits. I think Ketsueki could even help you put them on… The one she was wearing this morning was interesting." Kagome said thinking about the ribbon ensemble that she had been dressed in when she snuck into Kagome's room again. Seriously, how does that girl keep getting past my wards without waking me?

"Wait. You make your maids dress in sexy outfits?" A girl sitting across from Kagome asked blushing.

"No. She does that on her own. I think she just likes to see if she can get a rise out of me." Kagome shrugged and raised an eyebrow as Haruhi started to choke on her tea. "To hot for you? Ha-ru-hi?" Kagome asked leaning closer to her as she blushed.

"Pervert." Haruhi muttered leaning away from Kagome as the twins started to laugh.

"You're the one…" Hikaru gasped between laughter.

"That took it the wrong way!" Kaoru finished laughing as well.

"Shut up. I'm going to get more tea." Haruhi said before standing up and walking away without the teapot.

"Kagome-kun? Can I ask you a question?" One of the guests asked sidgiting as she blushed.

"You just did." Kagome said grinning.

"What kind of girl do you like?" She asked causing all the hosts to stop and try to listen in.

"What are you talking about?" Hikaru asked leaning over the couch.

"Kagome is gay." Kaoru said answering for Kagome causing the girls at the table to gasp.

"Is it true Kagome?" Another guest asked before letting out an eep as the floor began to shake and a platform started to rise from the center of the room with none other than Renge proudly standing.

"Yes! The forbidden fruit within the garden of Eden forever sought after by women everywhere but can never be touched lest they be cast from their beloved paradise." She said theatrically.

"So, it's true Renge-chan? Kagome likes boys?" One of Tamaki's guests asked with a hand over her mouth.

"Yes, and I have proof!" Renge proclaimed as a projector appeared showing all the times that Kagome used the twins and Haruhi as his pillow to take a nap or hang off of and tease when he was boarded. There were even a few of him and Mori mixed in. "See how he is so comfortable flirting with the other hosts? Then look at how he interacts with the girl population!" She continues switching to showing Kagome as he talked to some of his class mates and fellow students. Some of which were clearly trying to show off their… Assets… "See how he keeps his eyes up and doesn't have wondering eyes as most men who are interested in women do?"

"Now that you mention it…" One girl said looking over at her friend.

"He does seem to notice things that most guys wouldn't." Her friend finished.

"And he knows the difference between Merlot red and Sangrin red in art class." One of Honey's guests put in.

"And he knew the name of my hair style!" A girl with a feathered pixy cut proclaimed.

"See? Proof!" Renge proclaimed.

"Kagome! Quick! Play which twin is which!" A girl ran across the room handing identical hats to the twins.

"That's a great idea!" Hikaru proclaimed smiling as he put on his hat.

"If Kagome can't tell us apart then we get to go to Haruhi's house!" Kaoru finished putting on his own hat before the twins did this quick little shuffle thing to try to confuse Kagome.

"Hay! Don't bet my place on it!" Haruhi shouted walking up to them.

"Don't worry Haruhi. I can tell them apart." Kagome said with a cocky grin.

"Oh ya? Prove it!" The twins said in since leaning against each other.

"Simple. That's Hikaru. And that's Kaoru." Kagome said pointing at each twin in turn.

"Wrong!" The twins sang.

"No. He's right."

"How can you tell Haruhi?"

"We all know that the one with the right parting is Kikaru-kun, and the one with the left parting is Kaoru-kun, but are there any other differentiating factors?" A girl at Haruhi and Kagome's table asked.

"If they changed their hair parting, we wouldn't be able to tell them apart." Another girl agreed.

"Ha. You're right… If I must rally say… Hikaru's speech and behavior sometimes reveals 10% more evilness." Haruhi said without malice… or thinking causing Kagome to do a spit take and start laughing as Kaoru chokes on a shocked laugh.

"Sorry… Hikaru…" Kaoru said trying not to laugh.

"I must make this clear. That's because I do not attempt to hide myself hypocritically, and if we are to talk about evilness, that should really be your forte, Kaoru." Hikaru snarked causing Kaoru to stop laughing in surprise.

"Fuck. Now you've done it Haruhi." Kagome groaned as the twins both leaned back into a too casual position on the couch they were sharing.

"Huh?" Haruhi asked looking at Kagome in confusion.

"… Please don't spout nonsense, Hikaru. It's always been me tolerating your stubborn ways." Kaoru sniped back.

"Even if I am the brain behind the plots, the one who deeply planned every execution is you Kaoru. If you don't like it, then don't do it, fool." Hikaru shot back.

"You are so silly, it's pathetic, I can't take it lying down. You're even the one who came up with the toy concept…" Kaoru said before glancing at Hikaru. "Hikary, actually, you like Haruhi right?... It's so obvious, you are always touching her!"

"WHAT!?" Tamaki shouted dropping his cup as Hikaru jolted in surprised embarrassment.

"Why do you have to say that? You are really an idiot." Hikaru growled as Tamaki ran over to the couch and started to smack the back cushion.

"Yeah, Kaoru. In this world, there are certain things you can say, and things you can't!" Tamaki growled.

"Why would I like someone who is like a little fox!" Hikaru argued.

"Who is the little fox! How dare you look down on my child." Tamaki shouted turning his wrath on Hikaru.

"This is too attractive!" Renge gushed as Kagome glowered at the three arguing idiots while angling himself in front of Haruhi in case Tamaki did something stupid. "There is actually a love-quintet surrounding Haruhi!? And it's a quintet plot that tow of them are twin brothers! Renge can have 3 bowls of rice!"

"Get lost, otaku." The twins and Kagome said causing Renge to break down crying.

"Renge, I thought you liked Haruhi?" Tamaki asked as he came over to the crying girl.

"That's a totally different story… That's too much, how can you treat a young girl this way." Renge wailed as Haruhi started to pat her head trying to get her to stop.

"You'd better stop while you can, your mathematical results are obviously lower than mine! You shortie!" Hikaru shouted turning on his brother.

"Hikaru, you should work so much harder, in your language abilities. You fatty!" Kaoru shot back.

"They do realize that their identical right?" Haruhi asked as Kagome just growled at the twins for all the noise they were causing.

"You're irritating every time you burrow into my blanket while I am asleep!" Hikaru fired back as the girls eeped and screamed at the revelation that the twins slept together.

"I only did that because I thought you were lonely!" Kaoru growled.

"What!... Do you want to fight, HAY!" Hikaru shouted.

"And while I'm at it pervert, don't always peep at me while I am bathing!" Kaoru shouted as the sparks truly began to fly and they continued to throw insults at each other before screaming in frustration at each other and storming out of the room.

"And that happened… Tell me when they stop being idiots." Kagome grumbled before getting up to go home.

- Home room the next day -

"The fuck did you do to your hair Hikaru?" Kagome asked as Higaru game in with flamingo pink hair.

"You are attracting a lot of attention. Why did you dye your hair pink?" Haruhi asked looking up at the new hair dew.

"'Cause it looks good on me. I am cute right? From today onwards, I'll be the pink one." He said with a bright smile. "Besides. I can't stand it when other people keep mistaking me for that Kaoru." He continued right as Kaoru walked into the room.

"And Kaoru is powdered blue." Kagome groaned thumping his head on his desk.

"How can you even tell what shade that is?" Haruhi asked turning around to look at Kagome.

"Ah. Haruhi, Kagome, good morning." Kaoru greeted as he went to sit at his desk. "Last night. Just when I thought I could finally get to sleep alone elegantly, I had such a horrible nightmare. I can't believe I dreamt that I dyed my hair pink. What a disgusting thing to do, it'd make me look stupid!"

He laughed as he went to sit down only for Hikaru to pull Kaoru's seat out from under him causing him to crash onto the floor. This in turn caused Kaoru to pull Hikaru's chair out from under him thus inciting a glairing contest that quickly devolved into the twins throwing random objects at each other over Haruhi and Kagome's heads throughout most of the class'. The teachers gave up after a while and just taught over them.

At every turn they argued over everything form who got to hold Haruhi's hand and who got Kagome snuggles to who had the highest marks on tests. They even tried pulling pranks on each other like blowing spit wads and darts to buckets of water. Granted Kagome had to act the hero on several occasions and pull random students out of the way when said pranks inevitably missed their targets.

By the time lunch arrived Kagome was jumpy and edgy watching the twins like a hawk to try and prevent the next … incident …"

"One set A meal." The twins ordered at the same time in the lunch line. "On second thought I think I'll take set B pasta meal, and also set D salad and coke."

"Impressive. They even argue in synch." Tamaki said as he and Haruhi clapped at the twin's performance.

"That's enough!... If you're quarreling, you must be punished!" Honey said appearing from somewhere. "Hika-chan, Kao-chan, you each have to share this cake and then you'll be all right!" He said all smiles as the twins stared at him blankly as he began to mumble about wanting to eat the cake as well causing the twins to become more and more irritated as he continued to mumble.

"In addition, I want Set D's Capellini and Barberie Duck and Foie Gras's Poele with Pariguu sauce!" The twins yelled turning back to the cooks causing Honey to start crying and run to Mori as he and the missing hosts walked into the lunch room.

"I was wondering why it was so noisy here… Those two, again? They are really the disgrace of the club." Tamaki said walking up to Haruhi before squealing. "Ahhh It's Haruhi! It's really rare to see you in the student's cafeteria. Are you here for me?"

"No. I was dragged by the two of them. Me and Kagome usually eat our lunchboxes in the classroom." Haruhi explained showing Tamaki her lunchbox as proof.

"Kyoya, what should I do if it's a lunchbox with a heart in it?!" Tamaki asked Kyoya as Haruhi sat down in a chair that Hikaru pulled out for her.

"Don't your fantasies have any logic at all? I don't understand what you mean." Kyoya sighed.

"I would worry about your sanity if you did understand them four-eyes." Kagome grumbled sitting across from Haruhi so that he could keep both the twins in his line of sight as they sat on either side of the girl.

"What is in your lunchbox?" Hikaru asked.

"… It's yesterday's leftovers, hotchpotch and eggs, sunny side up."

"I'll exchange yours with mine." Hikaru said pushing his tray over. "I don't like these."

"No thank you… I'm fine with it." Haruhi said feeling a bad omen before looking at Hikaru's lunch and getting a fare away look before reaching down and taking a bite much to Hikaru's joy as her face lit up at the taste and she let Hikaru take her lunch.

"Hikaru, well done. In order to reward you I will give you my Set A meal. Now hand over Haru-chan's lunchbox." Tamaki said trying to rob Hikaru of his prize.

"No way. Get lost, please." Hikaru said angling himself away from Tamaki.

"Haruhi, does it taste good? Do you want mine, too?" Kaoru asked showing Haruhi his lunch before gently grabbing her chin and angling her face towards him as he brote a spoon fool of food closer to Haruhi. "Say ahhh."

"He goes in for the goal and… Oh! Interference from Hikaru!" Kagome narrated as Hikaru leaned forwards and took the bite that was meant for Haruhi. "How will Kaoru respond to his brothers underhanded block!" Soon after saying that the twins go into an all-out food fight using their trays as shields.

"KAGOME! Stop encouraging them!" Haruhi admonished only for Kagome to yank them both to the side as Tamaki tried to interfere with the fight right as a random fork took flight and landed right in the vice principal's soup causing it to splash into his face.

"And pray tell." The vice principle said as he stood up and cleaned his face before turning to the twins and Tamaki. "…Who is the main culprit?" He finished as the twins immediately pointed at each other. Unfortunately for Tamaki though, he was standing in between the twins so inadvertently got blamed for the food fight.

"I think… we should go back to the classroom." Kagome said as the vice principle started lecturing Tamaki.

"Ya." Haruhi agreed grabbing her original lunchbox and fallowing Kagome out of the room. Barely getting away before getting dragged into cleaning the lunch room with the rest of the hosts.

By the time the host club was getting ready to open everyone was tired to the bones.

"Why?... Just why?' Kagome asked plopping onto one of the couches for his and Haruhi's area after helping to move everything.

"Because of them, I feel that the rest of us are becoming more worn out… Something's wrong here." Tamaki growled before jolting at the realization that the twins had somehow disappeared again.

"… If this situation persists, we will have to cancel the brotherly love settings… I can assure you that the request rates will definitely decrease. I'll think about their penalty later… Oh hay, Haruhi." Kyoya said before turning a too nice smile towards the girl. "You don't have to worry about any responsibility, okay? Even if the sentence that sparked this catastrophe was made by you… and we don't mind cleaning the cafeteria at all…"

"That's an atmosphere of murderous intent…" Haruhi mumbled as she slowly sat down next to Kagome's head only for Kagome to shift and use her lap as a pillow.

"This is the first fight between Hika-chan and Kao-chan…" Honey said in a depressed voice.

"Eh? Is that so?" Haruhi asked receaving a nod from Mori.

"Hn. This ain't a fight. Me and Kikyo hatted each other. When we fought one of us would normally draw blood." Kagome huffed getting curious looks from the others in the room.

"Ya, but I have known them since kindergarten… even though I have never talked with them… They were always playing alone by themselves." Honey said.

"Yes… I've known them only since junior high school, but… They looked odd among other people. It seemed they didn't want other people to come close. Their personalities were worse than now too." Tamaki said with a far away look. Walking up to Haruhi, Tamaki leaned over and placed a hand on her head causing Kagome to bristle at now being so close to Tamaki's crotch. "Come to think of it, I feel that these fights and quarrels may not be a bad thing. At least, their world has expanded. Right?" He asked before standing up and walking off. "So now, the best thing to do is to leave both of them alone…" He said.

Right as he was walking between two pedestals, he stepped on tripwires that caused a barrage of spears to hurtle towards Tamaki. Hearing a 'tic' from the pedestals Tamaki turned around and began to chase the twins threatening to punish them both.

"Haruhi?" Kagome questioned as Haruhi stood up and walked off without a word. With a heavy sigh Kagome got up as well and began to fallow her with the rest of the hosts close behind.

By the time they got there the twins had pulled out cursed dolls and Haruhi was dashing towards the twins before giving them both a good hard hit to the top of their heads.

"STOP THAT! Don't use that kind of thing for such a stupid quarrel! Both of you are bad and causing trouble for people around you is worse!" Haruhi lectured them as Kagome came up and nabbed the dolls out of the distracted boys' hands. Only to glower as he read what had been written on the back of them.

"I will punish you both." Kagome whispered as he stared at the word 'Nothing' that was written on the back of the dolls.

"Now apologize to everyone!" Haruhi continued her lecture, not hearing Kagome's promise. "If you two don't make up and shake hands now, you two will never ever set foot in my house in this lifetime."

As the twins stand up from where they had fallen when Haruhi punched them with matching devilish grins Kagome heaved another sigh as all the pieces fell into place.

"Hmmm…" Hikaru started as he dusted himself off.

"Then…" Kaoru said mirroring his brother.

"If we call it a truce, we can go to your house?" They finished together.

As the rest of the host club stood in shock at the realization that they had been tricked the twins began hugging and toughing each other as they apologized for everything that they did and said that day.

"I hate you all." Kagome sighed with no energy as he walked off to go home. No energy in him to host anything today.

- Next Day, Hosting Hours -

"Hello! It's been a long time, but let's play the 'Guess which is Hikaru' game again!" The twins proclaimed to their guests inviting them to take a shot even though their still dying their hair different colors.

"I'm guessing the one with pink hair is Hikaru-kun. Even though both of you have made up, you didn't change back the hair color, huh?" One of the guests said raising her hand.

"You're right!" The twins said just as Kagome and Haruhi passed by them.

"Stupid." Kagome mumbled as Haruhi stopped to look at the twins.

"Eh, have both of you switched?" Haruhi asked the twins causing them to stop and look to her. "Well? Why do you have pink hair today, Kaoru?"

"I think you broke them with your all-seeing eyes Haruhi." Kagome giggled looking at the glazed looks in the twin's eyes.

"…" Haruhi just shrugged before walking off as the twins watched her go.

"… I think it's not too good to be bogged down when we're twins." Hikaru said.

"I suggest we adopt Haruhi to be a child of our family, what do you think of it?" Kaoru asked much to Kagome's amusement.

"Ah, that's quite a good idea." Hikaru said before Kagome draped her arms over the twins surprising them.

"I think she has already adopted you. Welcome to the Fujioka family you two." Kagome laughed before tousling their hair ant fallowing after Haruhi who was busy telling Tamaki that he wasn't invited to her house.

Thank you everyone who reviewed. I love you all.

PEACE!