A/N- Hey guys, I know it's been a while but here's that talk I promised that Jean and Sydney would have. Enjoy!

3

Sydney was smashed out of her head when she got the call she'd been expecting from Jean. She had planned to give the woman a piece of her mind, she hadn't expected to be completely hammered when she called but here she was and nothing could change it now. Guess she'd have to do this while drunk. Maybe it would help her say everything she couldn't say sober which wasn't much but still;

She grinned and answered the phone.

"Hello Jean. So nice to hear from you." Sydney slurred, a grin on her face as she tried to focus on something that didn't make her head spin.

'You can't do that Sydney.'

Sydney frowned, knowing full well what Jean was talking about. The session earlier today.

"Do what?"

"Come into my session and put me under pressure like that. It's-it's-"

"It's what Jean? Uncomfortable?"

"Yes!"

Sydney walked over to the table and sat down in front of it, grabbing the bottle of vodka off it and taking a big swig.

"Okay so I made you uncomfortable but let's talk about the fact that you were fucking me over."

"I didn't fuck you over Sydney." Jean said, lowering her voice. So she was home then. That was the only time Jean spoke quietly, when she was home and didn't want her family hearing her, like that time when Sydney had helped her to get off over the phone.

Sydney nodded, she couldn't believe that the woman was actually going to try and turn this in her favor.

"Yes you did. You lied Jean! You said you were single, a journalist, you had a niece and that niece turned out to be your daughter! You have a daughter Jean! I mean my God are you even into women?!"

"I was into you." Jean said, her voice soft now.

"'Was'? So...not anymore then?" Sydney slurred, her vision going a little blurry. Maybe she should put the bottle down now.

She didn't.

She heard Jean sigh.

"I'll always be into you Sydney."

That made the other woman grin slightly. Then she remembered that she should be mad at Jean, not worrying about whether she still found her hot or not.

"Have you told your husband the truth?"

There was a pause on the other end.

Sydney waited with hope it her heart but she knew Jean would never tell her what she wanted to hear. At least the lies were over.

"No."

"Will you?"

Another pause, this one longer than the last.

"No."

Sydney bit her lip as tears welled up in her eyes.

"So you're okay with living a lie?" She asked, forcing her voice to keep steady

"I can't lose him, Syd."

Sydney recoiled at the feelings the pet name gave her. She pushed them away angrily, feeling like she wanted to claw her own heart out.

"No! Don't you dare call me that! Don't you fucking ever call me that! I am nothing to you! Don't act like I am!" Sydney raged with tears streaming down her face. God...if only Jean could see the damage she was causing, would she want to live a double life again? If she could only see what was happening to the girl on the other end of the phone.

"OK...OK, I'm sorry Sydney, but you're not nothing to me."

"Jean...just stop please...just..."

"Sydney...I had feelings for you. I really did."

Sydney put an arm across her eyes as she sobbed into the phone.

"You said we were going to run away together...you didn't mean it did you?"

"I did...at that point but Sydney, we could never have run away. I mean I have my family and you-"

"I have nothing Jean! I only had you! I fucking loved you! You selfish... bitch!" Sydney's voice broke on the last word and she dropped the bottle.

Jean heard it smash on the floor.

"Sydney? Are you ok?"

"What? Oh yeah, it was just the fucking vodka bottle." Sydney muttered as she sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her free hand.

"Are you drunk?"

"Yep."

"Sydney why do you get like this?"

"Oh I don't know Jean, maybe it was because I've just been fucked over by someone I was willing to start a life with!"

There was one big pause and Sydney wondered if she'd hung up on her until she heard Jean curse under her breath.

"Jesus...I didn't know-I thought I was-"

"A bit of fun? A passing fancy? A game to me? Well you know what? I wish you fucking were because then I wouldn't be feeling like this!"

"Sydney, I am so sorry..."

"Don't say that. You're not sorry. You're just sorry you got fucking caught otherwise I would imagine that you would be round here fucking me or you know, the other way around." She said with a careless shrug.

Jean sighed.

"Do you need me to come over?"

Sydney frowned.

"To do what?"

"To take care of you. I imagine you'll be feeling like absolute shit in the morning."

Sydney wanted to tell her yes. To tell her that she needed her. That she just wanted Jean to come round and hold her while she fell alseep but in the morning, she would have to leave again and go back home and Sydney wasn't sure if she could handle that.

Sydney swallowed the lump in her throat and sniffed so she didn't sound so tearful.

"No. I'll be fine. How do you think I got by without you?"

Jean sighed again.

"Okay...well if you need anything, you have my number."

"I'm deleting it after this conversation." Sydney snapped back.

"Sydney...please, don't be like this."

"Goodbye Jean."

Sydney hung up then and ran to the bathroom to throw up.

Jean was right, she really would feel like shit in the morning.