A/N: I am so excited to start this AU! It's going to be a small four chapter arch. There are various parts throughout where I have collaborated with my best friend Meowser Clancy and for that I thank her. I love you bestie! I hope you all enjoy! xx Mariah

It was just past eight when Katie had started getting ready for her date when the phone rang, causing her eyes to move from the mirror as she applied eyeliner.

"Hello?" She said, setting the phone back down on her desk.

"Hey bug," her father's voice was calm, she could hear someone babbling in the back and she assumed it to be her littlest sister Lana. "How's the city?"

"Loud and crowded," she said putting him on speaker. "The usual. How's Grandview?"

"Quiet and boring. I'm trying to get your sister to fall asleep with a car ride, but she's just babbling away back there like the big girl she is. She's gotten so big since you were last home." He laughed. "Your mom isn't feeling too well, so I thought I'd take Lana off her hands tonight so she could get a nap in."

"And so you could have time with her when she wasn't tired," she laughed. "How genius of you!"

"I have many ways to get your mother alone and I wasn't even trying this time! I swear." He said as she reached for her lipstick. These were the conversations she missed having with her father, but Toby made moving to Grandview sound impossible. He never wanted to talk about moving, he always changed the subject. "Are you and Toby coming home for Christmas?"

She didn't know what to say. Toby had expressed to her that he wanted to stay home this year. Have a holiday with just her and spend the whole time in bed since she'd already taken the time off to go home. She always went home. Well, except this year. She hadn't been home since the summer.

"Umm... I don't know dad. Toby's not feeling well," she lied.

"That sucks," he sighed. "I'm guessing he's not up for the drive."

"Nope," she popped her lips on the p and grinned. "Oh this lip color is perfect. Sorry dad, I forgot for a second you were on the line. But back to what I was going to say... if Toby's feeling better we'll drive down, but if not, I'm gonna stay and be with him until the day before Christmas Eve. I'd drive home on 23rd, if that makes sense."

"I'll let your mom know," he said. "She'll be upset, you know how much she misses you Katie. You didn't come home for Halloween or Thanksgiving this year. Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm just working a lot and junior year is proving to be a little harder now that I'm not doing just generals." She sighed. "I have six classes and they are all two hour lectures. No fun classes this semester. I'm so glad to be done with this semester, even though it's been my first real challenge with school in years."

"I check up on your grades all the time Katie. Five A's and a B, I know it's not school." He muttered. "I just wish you'd tell me the truth."

She couldn't tell him the truth because she didn't even know what it was. Toby just said he hates family functions because he never had them and never said anything else. Was she supposed to press him on a subject she knew made him uncomfortable?

"I am dad. Toby is sick. I will be home for Christmas with or without him, okay?" She told him, promising him. "Just don't tell mom though because I want to surprise her."

"I am not promising anything because she has her ways of getting information out of me." He laughed. "You know that."

"I know dad," she laughed, standing up from her desk. "I've gotta get ready dad. Toby will be here any moment to pick me up."

"Okay bug." He said. "Have a nice evening with Toby. I love you."

"Thank you. Give everyone my love," she smiled, opening her closet door.

"I will," he said and she ended the call, throwing her phone back on the bed.

What to wear. What to wear.

Did she want to go sexy or comfortable? She knew dinner was a given, but would they be going anywhere after? Or would they come straight home?

She longed for her best friend to be here. For them still to be living together in that little apartment like they always dreamed. Toby still held a grudge most of the time about how it took him two years to get her to move in with him.

Hannah would've known exactly what she should wear. She always did.

The front door closed as she pulled out a dress from her closet.

"Katie? You ready?" Toby asked.

"I'm just changing," she called out, laying the dress on the bed. "How's the weather?"

"A little chilly," he cleared his throat. "A little snowfall."

"Okay," she said, grabbing the dress and putting it back. Comfortable it was. "I'll be right out."

She slipped the shorts she was wearing off and grabbed a gray pencil skirt, wiggling her hips and zipping it up. She walked over to her dresser, pulling out black panties, slipping them on and checking herself out in the mirror. She giggled once she noticed she was still wearing her Grandview Track hoodie and pulled it off, immediately yanking her old bra off and tossing it into the nearby hamper.

Toby walked in as she turned around to dig through her top drawer. She couldn't find a single black bra. Not one. She owned three. Well, two because she forgot until now that she'd thrown one out during the move because the strap ripped.

"I am not complaining one bit babe, but our reservation is at nine and you're topless in our bedroom still." Toby laughed, she peeked over her shoulder.

"Hello to you too," she smiled, grabbing the only bra in her drawer, a red one.

"Don't put that on just yet," he grinned. "Turn around for me?"

"I guess," she straightened and turned around, holding the bra on her finger. "Can I put this on now or would you like to continue to gawk?"

"I'd like to continue to gawk and be granted permission to touch," he walked closer, pulling her to him. "Hi baby."

"Hi," she blushed and kissed him. "Are the roads bad?"

"Not since the plows went through," he winked. "Everything's going to be fine."

"I'm still scared. Ever since you got in the wreck last month because of all the ice I've been so worried we'll get in another crash." She sighed. "Plus there's a predicted storm and that could always come early."

"We're fine. The car's fine." He kissed her. "Stop worrying."

God, he always knew how to soothe her. And to come to think, she couldn't think of time he wasn't there for her in the past two years. They've been through so much.

With their struggles with Ned her freshman year and their own struggles with controlling Toby's anger after he hit her. To their fights over not getting enough time and space alone while she lived with Hannah. To them moving in this September and for now, everything was going great. It wasn't a big change. She just moved across the hall, but it wasn't the same as sharing an apartment with Hannah. She missed that. She missed home too.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked.

"Nothing," she grinned. "I need to get dressed. Stop distracting me, okay?"

"Okay," he stepped back. "I'll be on the couch waiting." He closed the door behind him and she pulled her bra on, clasping it and adjusting accordingly in the mirror.

Okay she needed to snap a selfie and send it to her mom. God damn, did her mother give her the best body in the world.

She grabbed her phone and posed, sending it to her mom with the message.

Just a thank you for how killer I look in this skirt and bra. Thank you mama for giving me life! I love you.

She went to her closet, pulling a tight maroon shirt over her head. It looked perfect. Now all she needed was her coat and shoes. She grabbed her coat off the closet door and buttoned it at the front, reaching down to slip her heels on as she walked out.

"Alright I'm ready." She grinned, grabbing her purse off the coffee table.

"Thank heavens," he smiled, standing and kissing her. "Let's get going."

He pulled on his coat as she opened the door and grabbed her hand as they walked out, locking the door behind them.

The past few weeks had been hard for Katie. There had been an even more intense than usual ghost. She'd had issues keeping secrets from her loved ones while she was still living and now that she was a ghost it had taken Katie forever to learn anything. And even more time to get things resolved because the ghost had attacked her the first few times she tried to talk to the family she'd kept the secrets from.

It hadn't helped. The whole thing had put Katie way on edge and she'd been so thankful to finally bid farewell to the earthbound spirit, set free at last.

But Katie had gone home feeling even more unsettled.

She needed to tell Toby.

But the time was never right. He was always either too stressed to be able to handle it well or they were in a good patch and she didn't want to rock the boat.

He squeezed her hand as they walked into the restaurant. It seemed fancy. She never was the kind of girl to like expensive restaurants. They seemed like the worse choice when smaller establishments usually always had better food for an affordable price.

"This place better not be too expensive,"

"Holding a reservation here was a hundred dollars. I don't even want to think about how much the food or wine is." He cleared his throat. "But I only get the best for my girl."

"Toby," she was grateful he did things like this for her. "You don't have to pull out all the stops for me, you know?"

"I know, I'm in love with a small town girl," he laughed, kissing her forehead as they got to the podium. "Reservation for Tobias."

"Yes," the man at the podium grabbed two menus and grinned. "Will you two be needing a wine list?"

"We'll take one, yes." He nodded and followed the host to their table. "It's beautiful in here, isn't it?"

"Very beautiful," she commented, looking up at the intricate moldings in the ceiling. "My mother would probably kick the bucket at the sight of that chandelier."

"What doesn't impress your mother?" Toby muttered and Katie almost didn't catch it.

"What?"

He smiled at her, upping the pressure of his hand on her lower back as they reached their table. "She has so many kids, that's all. You'd have thought they'd stop after the perfection of you." He pulled out her chair.

The statement should have been sweet. But instead it left a pit of uncertainty in her stomach, one that lingered after Toby ordered a whole bottle of La Crema Chardonnay.

"Only the best," he repeated.

Honestly though. Katie had been looking at the beer menu.

She shook it off and looked at the menu, trying not to linger on the prices. The steaks here were $28 but the vegetables that came with them? $30!

She felt confused and irritated that Toby had chosen here. Especially when she could read all the French names on the menu but he had no idea what they meant. She had a fair handling on everything but there were a few things that even confused her and small-town girl or not, this was ridiculous. Toby literally could not afford this restaurant and she didn't know why they were here.

When the waiter came by, offering appetizers, Toby ordered the goat cheese and prosciutto plate. It came at least 15 minutes later, very long for an appetizer, and it was about four pieces of prosciutto and three of goat cheese, with two pieces of bread. Katie tried not glance at the menu but she knew that the cost had been over $20.

This was ridiculous.

She breathed in and ordered the chicken, while Toby got a steak and frowned at her for not sticking to the script. She didn't feel like red meat though.

They were halfway through their entrees when Katie stopped feeling hungry, a lump in her throat. Toby had been talking throughout the whole meal about how he loved the openness of the relationship and how much progress they had made. He was talking about how grateful he was that she stayed with him and helped him overcome his anger issues. "And I know that you would've let me help you with anything worrying you too." He smirked. "But you're too perfect for that."

She had to tell him. She had to tell him about her gift.

But suddenly Toby was clearing his throat. Just as she screwed up enough courage. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, taking one last sip of wine to steady her nerves. And Toby didn't even notice, completely talking over her.

"Should we get the check? I want to take you somewhere." He said softly, signalling the waiter.

"Sure," she nodded, taking her last bite of chicken before wiping her mouth. "That's fine."

He stood and helped her into her coat as they made their way to the podium. He paid the check with two different credit cards and she sighed. Why did he come here if he knew he couldn't afford it on one damn card?

They walked out just as snow started to fall again. Toby took her hand the moment they stepped outside, and lead her to the right, toward their apartment. They'd walked, it was only seven blocks away and it wasn't too chilly, even with the snow.

"That was great," he says after they've walked a few minutes in comfortable silence.

"It was," she lied, though a part of her wished she could tell him how she wanted to go somewhere affordable or even stayed home. A night home with him sounded perfect. Making dinner with him and getting into the usual food fight.

"I really love you Katie," he said, looking at her meaningfully. "I love our life together. I would be happy with you forever."

That's what he wants, she realized. He wants to be at her side forever. Not as her friend, or even her boyfriend. As her husband. She's not ready for a conversation like that, not when he didn't know the biggest secret in her life, so she stopped it from progressing the only way she knew how: she kissed him.

He makes a noise of surprise and slipped his hands around her waist, pulling her closer. The kiss was like all the others lately – perfectly nice, but nothing that stirs anything deeper. Maybe she's just not a kissing person. She liked it when he hugged her, and there's an undeniable pleasure that she felt whenever his hands started to drift to the more sensitive parts of her body. But the kisses themselves…they're just lips touching lips, tongue brushing tongue. They weren't like that in the beginning. Never at first. At first her lips burned for him to kiss them, for him to take her into his arms and carry her to her bed.

"What's wrong?" He said as they broke away. "You seem distant."

"Sorry," she muttered, looking up at the foggy sky. She hated that she couldn't see the stars in the city. "It's just… really cold."

"Yeah," he laughed, rubbing his hands together. "Let's keep moving, but there is something I want to say."

"What?" She smiled up at him.

"It's just, this has been on my mind for so long and I know that it's finally time." He grinned, pulling her across the street to the steps of their apartment building. "You have meant everything to me these past few years. You have been like my muse. My goddess. The angel that's only improved my life and made me better."

She didn't like these comparisons. She was a woman. That was her power. She was a strong, independent woman. She wasn't a goddess or a muse.

She had literally written an essay in college about why it was dangerous to put women on pedestals, to put celebrities on pedestals, to put anyone on a pedestal. Because everyone was human. Wasn't that the best part of life?

"And I want you to know how special you are to me. I want the world to know."

"Toby, what are you saying?" She interrupted him, watching him carefully as he ran up the steps.

"I was right here when I first saw you," he said.

She thought of that day. Of how nervous she was to be here all alone. Loud noises still startled her and she had never stolen a cab from someone yet.

"You must be 7B," he had said from the top of the stairs.

"And you are?" She asked, startled by his voice.

This wasn't happening. She hadn't told him about her gift. The most important part of her. She saw ghosts and he didn't know. She couldn't marry him if their kids could inherit this same gift. And they would. She knew that. It never skipped a generation, well not that anyone knew of yet.

Maybe they wouldn't have kids. She could do that, couldn't she?

No. She wanted kids. But when she thought about it, she didn't want them with Toby. He wasn't good with kids. She'd have all the responsibility and that wasn't what she wanted. Just like this moment. A moment she'd dreamed of her entire life.

A moment she always dreamed she'd share with Ned.

"The truth is you are the most incredible person I have ever met." He said, coming back down the stairs, looking down at his feet first, before kneeling. "Every time I'm with you my day is automatically brighten. You bring so much light to my dark world and I never thought someone could do that. You changed me in so many ways that I thought weren't even possible. I'll never forget that and I promise I'll never stop loving you as long as you promise the same thing. Will you marry me?" He popped the box he held in his hand open and she closed her eyes.

She didn't want to think about how flashy he probably went with this ring and she was such an antique dealer's daughter. She loved the way old rings looked when they were polished and how they sat on her fingers.

But she did because maybe he talked to Hannah or her father. Or anyone.

Diamonds shimmered from every angle of this engagement ring that he'd gotten her. Why did she hope he would ask anyone about what she liked?

"So," he said after a minute. "Will you?"

"Toby," she breathed. "I need time to think about this."

"To think about what?" He asked, standing. "We've been together for two years. I love you."

"There's something I have to tell you," she whispered, her whole body shook as the tears rolled down her cheek.

"It's Ned isn't it?" He rolled his eyes, ignoring her tears. "You don't need to be dramatic if it is."

"I wish it were that simple, but no. It's not Ned. I love you," she said softly. "But I'm just not ready to get married. I need to think about this before I say yes or no. Okay?"

"I understand it's a lot to ask for you to know your answer on the spot, but I've felt you slip away these past few months and it's killing me because all I want is you. I want all of you. Your sleepy mumbling. Your drunken embarrassment. Your silly faces. Your anger. Your apologies. Your sadness. Your stern looks. Your frustrations. Your past. I want it all. I want all of you. I know I might be the worst person in the universe, but I always try my best for you."

"I know," she cried. "And that's why I need to go home. I need to take this time and figure out if this is what I want. I'm not going to say yes just because you asked me, okay?"

He froze, eyes locked on hers.

She regretted her words immediately, but it's too late. The look he gave her was like a punch in the gut. "Toby, I– I love you more than anyone. You know that."

"No." He shook his head. "No, you're right. It's a lot to ask you to say yes just because I asked you. I guess it's too much to ask for a commitment from you."

"Tobias–" She clutched at his arm in desperation, but he shrugged it off, stepping back.

"I'll see you at home, Katie," he said dully, and disappeared into the building.

"No," she yelled and he turned around. "You come back here. You don't get to walk away from me after speaking to me like that. I am your girlfriend and the woman you apparently want to marry and I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown and you were gonna leave me in the cold?"

"I just want to go home," he muttered, finally pausing but not turning around.

She sagged against the railing, simply exhausted. "Me too," she whispered.

His eyes lit up for one brief moment and then he realized what she really meant. She couldn't see it but she knew his hand would be clutched in a fist. "It's always about home with you," he shouted. "It's like you never moved out of fucking Grandview."

He stormed down the stairs towards her and Katie couldn't help herself. Even though it was so long ago...and he'd never done it again…

She truly believed he was going to hit her.

Toby saw her flinch away, arms coming up. Any good luck she might have had with him instantly evaporated.

"Fuck this," he spat and continued thundering down the stairs away from her. Away from their home.

She finally called after him. "Where are you going?" Her voice broke. She did love him. Didn't she? At any rate, she couldn't let it end like this.

He didn't answer but he had the luck to have a taxi pass by, which he hailed. Straining her ears, she heard him speak the name of a bar that specialized in lap dances as well as the cheapest tickets to alcohol poisoning in the city.

Katie finished walking up the stairs, back stiff.

Well. That was that. She wouldn't take her car; Toby would flip out if he couldn't use it.

She pulled out her phone, checked the schedules, and bought the first ticket out of NYC that stopped at Grandview.

Then she texted her dad, trying to stop the tears and the ache in her heart.

Can you pick me up at eight tomorrow at Grandview Central?

Her phone vibrated immediately and in between the tears that rolled down her cheeks she read it.

Of course Bug. I'll see you in the morning. Love you.

Everything happened so quickly out that.

Packing her bags. Writing a note. Throwing it away. Waiting for Toby to get home, only for him not to. Writing another note and leaving.

She hailed a cab that took it Grand Central and boarded a train a 4am.

Taking a window seat, she stared at the snow until she cried herself to sleep. She was woken when the train halted and the conductor announced they'd arrived at the fourth stop.

Grandview, New York

She stood on stiff legs and grabbed her bags from the compartment above. She couldn't wait to be home. To sleep in her old bed. To hug her parents. To hug her siblings.

She walked off the train and through the station, searching for her father's face.

Katie saw him leaning against a post, eyes closed, her mother beside him, resting her head on his shoulder as they waited. She ran through the crowd dropping her bags at their feet.

Melinda's eyes flew open and she embraced her daughter, feeling her tears soak into her coat.

"Oh baby," Melinda hummed, running her hands through her hair. "You're home."