Hey, guys! Again, sorry for the long wait!

For those who are asking about the "speedforce bond", which was prominent in the last chapter, the answer is coming at the very end (Chapter 5). So far I've been writing it as Barry perceives it. He knows just as much as the readers about it, but it won't be long until he starts doing some digging.

I hope this story is somehow helping you through this season of The Flash! Thank you for reading and have a nice week!

"One, two…" Caitlin counted, holding Barry's nose between two fingers.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Barry squealed, when she skipped 'three' and straightened his nose with a clean pull. "IT BURNS!"

Both Caitlin and Cisco stepped away from the medical table, cringing.

"That sound will haunt my dreams," the latter commented, giving Barry a towel to put it under his bleeding nose.

"I'm so sorry," Caitlin apologized, pressing her palms together. "You told me not to hold back."

"I know! But why in the face?!" Barry whined, for the first time since they had abandoned the Speed Room, where they had been training. "You ice-punched me in the face! Geez, Caitlin…"

Barry hadn't expected to feel like a jerk too soon, but seeing Caitlin so adorably repentant in her STAR Labs sport gear definitely did the job.

He sighed, momentarily removing the bloody towel from his face.

"You know what? I think you fixed my nasal septum. I can breathe better now," he lied, reaching out to rub her arm. "You did great. I mean, you got me," he added, pointing as his swollen nose.

Caitlin smiled and placed her fingers on his face. Barry closed his eyes in relief when he felt a wave of cold numbing his T-Zone.

"Are you sure that the machine hasn't enhanced you?" Cisco asked, looking up and down at Caitlin. She arched inquiring eyebrows at him. "You've been only three weeks into training and you've already gave me and Barry a hard time…"

"I ran a few tests on myself. Nothing has changed. I'm just using my powers," the doctor answered. "Also, I guess I was angry at Barry for yelling at me," she added, resentfully.

"You were holding back," Barry intervened, in a nasal voice. "Anyway, you defended yourself. You almost cracked my skull open, but you defended yourself. That's what really matters."

Caitlin took her hand off Barry's face and wrapped an ice block of her doing in a towel, so he could use that instead.

"I have to go. I'm late for something," she announced, unhanging her purse from behind the door. "Cisco, will you call me?"

"Yes, wait up!"

Cisco ran out the med bay and returned five minutes later, carrying a gym bag.

"Your suit," he reminded her, giving her the bag. "I installed a little something that will tighten the coat and protect you from attacks. Bulletproof," he emphasized, recalling her latest deadly experience. "You just need to press one of the buttons on each sleeve. The bad news is that now I can't compress it into a female-friendly size to carry it around, but…"

"Just say smaller, Cisco," Caitlin said, teasingly.

"Aaaand…" He twirled his index fingers, to indicate that he wasn't done. "In honor to your first time on the field as yourself, here's your identity concealer."

Caitlin took the blue mask that Cisco had just pulled out from his back pocket, laughing at the irony.

"We'll call you as soon as we hear an alarm," he promised her.

"Thank you," she told him, giving him a half hug with her free arm. "I'll see you guys later."

Caitlin abandoned the room. Although Barry tried not to make a big deal because she hadn't said goodbye to him directly, as soon as Cisco walked into the cortex, he ran after her.

"Caitlin!" Barry called out, before she stepped on the elevator.

"Barry!" She exclaimed, a little startled by his appearance.

Barry was about to apologize for appearing so violently, until he saw her hide her phone behind her back, leaving the message she was typing unfinished.

"I know you like to think about your life while stuck in traffic, but all you'll think about now is how late you are," he told her, now a little curious about where she was heading. "Do you want a ride?"

"That's very nice of you, but I still have to go home and get ready…" Caitlin tried, but Barry raised his hand and shook his head.

"Doesn't matter, I can wait…"

"Barry…"

"Things don't need to be awkward, it's been three weeks…"

"I have a date!"

Barry's mouth opened for a split second. He resisted the need of putting his hand over his stomach, where he was feeling a fire burning his guts. Fortunately, Caitlin had automatically focused her attention somewhere else after the revelation, so he had enough time to compose himself.

(N/A: This is a good time to ask you NOT to yell at me. I have a plan. Trust me xD)

"Now it's awkward," she noticed, after a few more seconds of silence.

"A date," he echoed, making sure he had heard correctly.

"Yeah. Are you…? You know…" She bit her lip and closed her eyes, probably trying to find the right wording. "Are you okay with it?"

"Me? Yeah, yeah!" Barry curved his lips into a forced smile. "With who?"

"You know him, he works at the CCPD… Detective Parsons."

A cop… again, Barry thought. Dave Parsons had been working at the CCPD for over a month. Barry hated to go to crime scenes with him. In fact, everyone hated to go to crime scenes with him, because he was always too quiet. Barry would've never pictured him approaching a girl to ask her out.

Barry didn't regret confessing Caitlin his feelings, but it felt like he had ruined everything by doing it. Although things had been normal between them, he couldn't stop thinking about how close they had been, and how it would've been smarter of him to go slowly. He should've started by asking her out on a normal date. Maybe things would've gone so great that they would be officially dating already… but no, he had scared her away with a rushed love confession.

However, Caitlin was right about something she hadn't say explicitly: they both deserved better than starting a one-sided relationship that would end up ruining their friendship. Since the rejection, Barry had committed to love her in the only way he could, which was helping her, and he would keep on doing that. Even if there was another guy.

"Yeah, I know Dave a little," Barry mumbled, cursing him in his mind. "He is… shy. Or maybe he doesn't like us very much. Whatever, I'll take you…"

"Barry…"

"Caitlin," he stopped her, trying to summon sufficient strength to keep up that charade. "You've been postponing yourself for too long. We are already helping you with the powers, the training… I'd love to do something about your personal life." Barry never thought he'd ever say a sentence that would equally make him feel good and bad. "I want you to be happy, and…"

Barry's voice faded off as he got lost in thought, staring blankly at the floor. A random memory from college popped up in his head when he glanced at Caitlin again: Years ago, he had read a psychology paper about retrospective bias. This was the inclination people had to look back at past events and think there was something they could've done to get different results. That was exactly how Barry was handling his situation with Caitlin, torturing and blaming himself for not seeing the signs sooner. He should've not taken the future for granted. He should've thought harder about how she had made him smile through the hardest situations, and all those times he had watched her work for more than five seconds. He couldn't believe that he had overlooked that beautiful, perfectly imperfect, dorky, big-hearted woman. Caitlin had been right in front of him for years and he had just seen her, now that they were too close for things not to get complicated.

Barry had to remind himself that he had been in love, engaged and married while Caitlin was grieving, widowed or dating someone else. He was mourning opportunities they never truly had.

They were cursed.

"Are you okay?" Caitlin asked, snapping him out of his trance.

"You were right," Barry declared, in response, making a hard decision. "I was feeling a lot three weeks ago and I guess I clung to you," he continued, feeling the lie burning his tongue like acid. "My feelings for you are purely platonic, so… can we forget about everything I said at your apartment?"

"Sure!" She let out, barely letting him finish the sentence. "I knew you'd come to your senses."

"Yeah, I did."

Barry chuckled forcedly, but Caitlin didn't join him. Her pupils had turned white.

"You okay?" He asked, trying not think he had triggered that reaction.

"Yes. I just need to recharge my powers before I go," Caitlin said, her smile looking strange in contrast with the now blue eyes.

"I don't mean that." Barry had tried hard not to sense her emotions in the past weeks, but this situation had caught him off guard. "I mean the sadness."

"I just…"

Caitlin held her mask in front of her eyes and let out sigh.

"Who am I kidding? I can't do this," she said, handing Barry the gym bag in panic. "I can't do this…"

"I'm not taking that, I'm not tak… Cait," Barry stammered, pushing the bag back to her and grabbing her by the shoulders to force her to look at him. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Caitlin snorted. "I'm a doctor! I'm supposed to heal people, not… punch them in the face!" She pointed at Barry's swollen nose. "I'm gonna get my ass handed to me…"

"Probably." Barry smiled wider when she looked at him with questioning eyes. "But, at the end of the day, you will be fine."

"I'm not afraid of getting hurt, but realizing that I'm not cut out for this and we've been wasting our time…"

"Hey."

Barry reached out to lift her chin up, trying not to look amused by her mini crisis.

"Cait, why are you still on the team?" He asked, letting out a little laugh when she frowned, offended. "It was a rhetorical question! And the answer is: because Cisco and I still get our asses handed to us sometimes! Heroes can't do everything… but you're a doctor. The world has needed you since way before the powers. No matter how you do out there, please remember that. You have always been a hero."

Although Barry had finished his statement, neither of them did anything to break the physical contact. Still gripping her chin, he traced his large thumb across her jawline.

Caitlin seemed too focused on processing his words to care.

"You always know exactly what to say," she concluded, giving him a playful shove.

"Right back atcha," he grinned. "Come here."

Barry had barely lifted his arms when Caitlin smiled, stood on her tippy-toes and wrapped hers around his neck, holding him tight against her. He laughed, trying to recover his balance, and reciprocated the hug, discreetly smelling her hair.

Barry didn't know how long he could hug her before it got awkward, but he was having a hard time thinking that, once they were done, he would have to leave her with another guy. Slowly, he pulled his head back, without separating his cheek from hers to prolong the moment. Feeling his heart beating rampant, he allowed himself one last moment of recklessness and slid his nose across her cheek until their faces were aligned, only to find her lingering on him again, both their breaths labored and irregular.

Caitlin's lips parted, and her eyes fell to his mouth.

"Oh, screw this," she murmured, leaning up.

Instinctively, Barry leaned down but, once his lips ghosted over hers, she ducked her head.

"Screw this… sports bra!" Caitlin said then, taking her hand off Barry's shoulder to palm her back. "It's so tight! So tight…"

"Right!" Barry grumbled, taking his arms off her in embarrassment. "I know the feeling… I mean, I don't! Obviously, I don't wear…"

What the hell had just happened?

Caitlin's phone rang before they could make anything of that situation. She looked insultingly relieved to have an excuse to check it.

"Is that Dave?" Barry asked, doing zero efforts not to look pissed.

"Who? Oh! Yeah. Yeah," she answered, tripping over her words. "He's texting restaurants…"

"Okay, let's go then…"

Barry walked towards the elevator and clumsily crashed against the closed doors. Caitlin shyly pointed at the elevator button and pressed it, to indicate him that they hadn't even called it yet. He gave her another strained smile and let her go first once the doors opened.

"So…" Joe asked, putting his gun down after firing three clean gunshots at the aim in front of him. The CCPD's shooting range was already empty. "You're moving on?"

"OF COURSE NOT, IT'S KILLING ME!" Barry shouted from the next window, trying to make himself heard above the five failed gunshots he had fired. When he was done, he took off the protection glasses and looked at Joe. "I cannot believe this! Can you believe this? We fixed her problem, she told me she wasn't ready to date again… and now she's seeing another guy? She didn't even give me a chance…! What?" He inquired, when he saw Joe giving him nervous looks.

"Do you mind putting the gun down while you're angry?"

"Why didn't you tell me this was so cathartic?" Barry asked, twirling the gun around his finger and leaving it on the table behind them. "Can you believe it? She doesn't even know Dave! Damn, what do we know about Dave? What if he's great? Or worse: what if he's a douchebag? I poured my heart out to her because she kept on sending mixed signals and I got nothing. He saw her once, God knows where, and already has a date with her… I… I can't believe this is happening to me again…"

He plopped himself in a near chair, sighing in frustration.

"Well, don't look at me. Honesty is usually the answer, but she's being quite unpredictable," Joe opined, shrugging. "You're also giving up too easily. It's one date, Barry. A date you helped her to go on."

"Because she's doing great and I don't want to do anything to stand in the way," Barry said, stubbornly defending his selflessness. "I want to help her, but it's like she didn't even need me… which, ironically, makes me want to do even more. I guess she learned not to lean on me after the whole Killer Frost thing…"

"Or maybe she's just doing some self-discovery now that she is alone, you know, in her own body." Joe grabbed a gun cleaning kit from a wall shelf and gave him a small pat on the back. "Just be patient."

"Yeah… well, I was patient. I let a few weeks pass and now she's having dinner with Detective Pretty Boy 2.0."

Barry's phone rang, just in time to interrupt one of Joe's reassuring sentences.

"Robbery in progress," he informed, happy to have a reason to escape his problems. "Gotta go."

He ran to STAR Labs to pick up his suit and headed to Central City National Bank.

He appeared all suited up at the front door and, when he was about to go in, he noticed a blue silhouette next to him.

"I wanted to make an entrance, but you were already too close," Caitlin said, crossing her arms.

"Hey!"

Barry smiled widely when he saw her. She was wearing a long, well known blue coat that briefly triggered bad memories, except that she was wearing pants and the mask on her face.

"How did you get here so fast?" he asked, enthusiastically.

"I was eating there," she reminded him, tilting her head towards the corner where Barry had dropped her two hours ago. "One of the cashiers activated a silent alarm, so I ran outside and changed in the next alley. They're still inside. What's the plan?"

"You didn't need to bail on your date," Barry told her, although he didn't feel remotely sorry that she had. "Robberies are kinda easy."

"I know, but I told you I'd be here."

Barry snorted, strangely smitten by her commitment.

The two robbers finally stepped out of the bank, each one holding a gun and a bag.

"Who are you supposed to be?" One of them said, mockingly pointing at Caitlin. "The Game of Thrones convention was last weekend."

"There was a Game of Thrones convention?" Cisco intervened, from the comms.

"Cisco, I told you that the coat was still too long!" Caitlin complained, putting a hand over her ear.

"Calm down. I didn't think people would make that connection without your white locks. The coat is aerodynamic, for your ice bridge thingy."

"I don't do the ice bridge thingy! She did! It makes me sick…"

"Guys…" Barry tried.

Barry kept an anxious eye on the robbers while his friends were arguing, because he didn't want Caitlin to miss the chase.

"She looks pretty cool," the other robber commented, shrugging.

"THANK YOU!" Barry shouted, sharing a millisecond of male complicity with the low-life. "See? You look great!" He told Caitlin.

Taking advantage of their distraction, the two robbers raised their guns. Barry left Caitlin's side and returned one second later, holding them in his hands. Screaming, both robbers started running down the street.

"Are they… running?" Caitlin asked, innocently amazed by human stupidity.

"Yeah," Barry sighed, crossing his arms and leaning against a pillar of the building. "Robbers are not very bright. I mean, Earth-38 robbers still try to shoot Kara…"

"What are we waiting for? They are getting away."

"Not if you help me." Barry gave her a cheeky wink. "Let's suppose they are escaping and I'm not fast enough to catch them…"

"Oh, not this song again…" Caitlin interrupted him, face palming.

"Let me finish, woman." Barry bobbed his head impatiently, with Cisco laughing in his ear. "Let's suppose I need a little boost to catch them…"

"Guys, they're about to escape for real," Cisco warned them. "There's a van with no plaque parked one block away from you, Main Street and Edison."

Barry stepped forward, came down on a running position and turned to Caitlin again.

"Make it so," he quoted.

"Right," Caitlin remembered, throwing her arms forward.

Alternating both hands, she created a long ice road. Barry started running, sliding across it, which helped him to go faster and reach the next corner in time.

"Did Barry just quote Captain Picard?" Cisco grunted in the comms. "We haven't watched The Next Generation yet."

"We saw a few episodes last night," Caitlin answered.

"WITHOUT ME?!"

"It took you forever to return from Earth-19. We were bored."

"It was an emergency!"

"Are you and Cynthia even getting back together?"

Trying not to think that he would probably have to watch those episodes again with him, Barry caught the robbers right before they got in the van and shot out a rope that Cisco had compressed in his suit sleeves. He ran around each one, tied them up and dragged them back to the bank's entrance, where a police car was already parked.

"Good job," Barry told Caitlin, once he left the robbers with the cops and returned the money.

"I didn't do anything," Caitlin corrected him, humbly. "But it was really fun."

"You'll appreciate bank robbers once you handle something more dangerous. Also, you never know when they might not be normal people. Having a little back up can't hurt, so thank you for coming."

"Uh, oh!"

Barry turned around when he saw Caitlin bitting her lip. It didn't take him so long to detect the source of her anxiety: Detective Dave Parsons, Caitlin's date and Barry's co-worker, was approaching them. Barry vibrated his face and Caitlin, who didn't know where to run, hid behind him and changed her eyes color to white.

"Thank you, Flash," the detective said, once he was in front of them. "And…" He added, noticing Caitlin behind Barry.

"Frost," Barry answered, vibrating his vocal chords, to keep Caitlin from using her voice.

"Oh, it's like with the Green Arrow."

"Excuse me?" Caitlin inquired, putting on her old tilting, frosty voice and making Barry's heart skip a beat.

"You know, when The Arrow disappeared another guy took his place and called himself the Green Arrow. You're Frost, taking Killer Frost's place, right?"

"I… guess."

She exchanged a look with Barry, who was cracking up behind his distorted face.

"We probably lost our table already. Do you want to go for some ice cream?" Dave asked Caitlin, whose eyes returned to brown immediately. "Oh, come on, Caitlin. I've sat in front of you for over an hour and we both got a notification when the robbery started. You didn't even bother changing your hair."

"I… can explain," Caitlin babbled, looking at Barry to silently apologize.

"You don't need to." The cop turned to Barry. "Don't worry, I know you guys wear masks for a reason. I won't say anything."

"Thank you, detective," Barry said, with a feeling of annoyance that had nothing to do with Dave's discovery.

Dave reached out for a handshake. Barry, who hesitated before taking his hand, thanked God to be able to hide his face. The idea of that guy kissing Caitlin in front of her door later that night was already making him feel uneasy.

Be cool, he thought, feeling a vein popping out his neck.

"Flash," Dave sighed, tapping the symbol on Barry's chest in awe. "I wasn't expecting to meet you this soon."

Barry knitted an eyebrow under his mask. Caitlin cleared her throat, interrupting the mini fanboy moment.

"Flash needs to get me out of here, so I can change back into my normal clothes," she told Dave.

"Oh, sure," Dave remembered. "I'll wait here."

"Are you sure?" Caitlin made her eyes glow again. "I don't know if you processed… but I'm a metahuman."

"So?" The cop shrugged. "It's not like we are not surrounded by them."

Barry felt something catch in his throat when Caitlin smiled at him in response. Joe would've told him that he was being a drama queen, but that little interaction actually convinced him that Caitlin still had a shot at a normal life. With a normal guy.

"Let's go," Barry prompted, in an unintended, possessive tone.

Barry picked her up and ran to her apartment. Once they were in her bedroom, he returned for her gym bag and put it on the bed.

"He seems like a guy good," he commented, feeling nauseous.

"Are you mad at me?" Caitlin asked, getting in the bathroom.

"What?" Barry stood next to the bathroom to speak to her through the door. "Why would I be mad at you?"

"For being such a klutz and exposing myself."

"Of course not. Dave is with the CCPD, he won't talk. Thank God we have humble cops who don't mind vigilantes. They wouldn't want us to retire."

Caitlin stepped out of the bathroom.

"You're wearing… jeans," Barry pointed out, looking down at her, since it was a big change compared to the clothes she had worn before.

"Yeah, so?"

"You don't do that."

"I do now."

"And a t-shirt," he added, still stunned by how beautiful she looked with anything.

"I'm not going to put on fancy or work clothes to get some ice cream. Let's go."

Caitlin rolled her eyes when Barry teasingly pointed at her sneakers with his boot. Laughing, he picked her up to take her back.

The next week, Barry and Cisco took turns to take Caitlin out, so she could learn to synchronize with the two of them, which wasn't particularly hard.

That day in particular had been a success, when a bunch of construction workers had activated explosives meant to bring down an old office building. Caitlin had outdone herself, preventing the building from falling by freezing one side, which gave Barry and Cisco an extra minute to evacuate all the people inside.

Once they made sure all the injured were in ambulances, Barry returned to his lab to take care of some cold cases he had been piling up.

"So here I aaaam with ooooopen aaaaarms. Hoping you'll see what your love means to m…"

Barry turned to the lab door when the music stopped abruptly, still holding the pen he had been using as a fake microphone.

"Really, dude?" Cisco huffed, with his finger on the on/off button of Barry's speaker.

"I… thought there was no one left on the floor," Barry mumbled, slowly walking towards his friend in humiliation. "What are you doing here?"

"Just a little worried…"

"Oh, no." Barry hit his forehead with the folder he had just grabbed from another corner of the lab. "Laser tag! Cisco, I'm sorry, I totally forgot!"

"Barry…"

"Just give me a minute, I'll leave some of this stuff where I can see it tomo…"

"Barry!"

Once Barry turned to him again, Cisco held out his hands to stop him.

"It's Thursday. Laser tag is tomorrow, you didn't miss it," he told him, reassuringly. "But you've been acting weird, bro. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Barry promised, calming himself down. "I've just had a lot of work to do…"

"Yeah, I can see that," Cisco said, alternating his looks between the speaker and the pen Barry was leaving on his desk. "I know you, though. Doesn't seem like work is the cause, but the solution. What's with the depressing playlist and that brooding superhero look? Let me tell you, Oliver would be proud."

Barry wished that Cisco could read his mind, so he didn't have to tell him anything.

"You know? Something I learned this past year is to let go of the things I can't control or didn't work out," he explained, cryptically. "I'll eventually let go of this too. Don't worry about me."

"Okay," Cisco accepted.

"Since you're already here, don't you want to go to laser tag now? It's on me."

"Nah, I'm tired. Just wanted to check on you. You should try and get some sleep."

Barry nodded, although he wasn't planning on following that advice. He had tried everything to rest in the past weeks, only to wake up from his nightmares not so long after falling asleep.

Just when Barry started considering leaving with Cisco, Dave Parsons walked into the lab with a folder under his arm.

"Hello," he told Cisco, before quickly pointing at Barry. "Allen, thank God you're still here…"

"What do you need… Dave?" Barry inquired, putting on that exaggerated smile he had been greeting him with since he was dating Caitlin.

"I need to talk to you." The cop left the folder on Barry's desk and politely turned to Cisco. "Alone."

"Oh, I was just leaving," Cisco said. Before walking out, he pulled Barry closer to susurrate in his ear. "I don't know who this girl is, but you should try Bryan Adams. I know Cynthia loves Bryan Adams."

Barry chuckled as he watched his friend leave, then sat behind his deck and swung his arm to offer Dave the seat in front of him.

"I'm listening."

"I know you're The Flash," Dave shot.

Barry remained stony-faced. It wasn't like just a few people knew his secret identity, so this wasn't something he wasn't exactly prepared for.

"What?" Barry snorted, grabbing his stomach. "Have you seen me? I can barely do a chin up."

"Cut the crap, Allen," Dave said, crossing his arms smugly. "I have my sources."

"Your sources?"

"Caitlin."

Suddenly livid, Barry stood up, leaned over the desk and grabbed Dave by the collar of his shirt. However, the cop took his index finger to his lips to stop him from making noise, then looked over his shoulder.

"What?" Barry huffed, tugging the fabric of the cop's shirt.

"I thought I had heard something," Dave answered, casually, like he hadn't noticed that Barry was assaulting him. "We don't want anyone to eavesdrop."

"What the hell were you talking about? Caitlin would never…"

"Thanks for confirming it." The cop pointed at Barry's hands, politely requesting him to let go of him. "Do you mind?"

Barry let go of Dave, not without giving him a push that almost made him fall off his chair.

"Relax. Caitlin didn't tell me anything," Dave said, with a suspiciously friendly smile. "She didn't have to… See, after the robbery I had expected her to feel free to talk about working with The Flash… turns out, she wouldn't stop talking about her good friend: Barry Allen." Despite being angry and anxious, something resembling a smile crossed Barry's face. "It wasn't that hard, you know?"

Barry, highly worried about the negotiation that was apparently coming, returned to his defiant attitude.

"What do you want from me?" He asked.

"Your help," Dave answered, sliding the folder he had brought with him across the desk and placing it in front of Barry's eyes. "Three cases I couldn't solve in Opal City."

"That's it?" Barry opened the folder, without taking his eyes away from Dave's face. "What if I say no? You'll tell everyone who I am?"

"What? Don't be ridiculous. Why would I do that?"

"I don't know. You tell me..."

"Barry."

Dave held both his hands out after using his first name, patiently asking for his attention.

"I'm not blackmailing you," he clarified, with a convincingly sincere tone. "I'm asking for your help. I know you have a thing for cold cases, but the fact you're… you know, this city's hero, makes you the only person who can actually do something. The OCPD closed these cases without even considering metahuman activity. They don't want to scare people away from the city… but this is not right. These victim's families need an answer."

Barry sighed deeply. Part of him had hoped that Dave was a bad guy, because then he would feel free to hate him.

"Okay," he accepted. "I'll help you."

Dave waved his fists in celebration, like a big kid.

"Don't worry, you guys are not that obvious. I'm just new, so I pay more attention," Dave continued, happily. "Also, I am a Flash fan. I grew up reading Jay Garrick comics, so…"

"Jay Garrick comics?" Barry scoffed, in surprise.

"Yeah. I thought you had named yourself after him."

Barry nodded in agreement, pretending he hadn't say anything. Maybe one day they would be close enough to tell him that his childhood hero existed on some other earth.

"Also…" Dave continued. "No hard feelings. It's not your fault that things didn't work out between Caitlin and me..."

Barry, who had left his chair to put Dave's folder in his bag, stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around.

"What?" He asked, raising his palm. "What do you mean things didn't work out? I thought you guys were still dating."

"Dating?" Dave scoffed, fixing his tie. "There wasn't even a second date. When I walked her home, I told her that it seemed like she had some unfinished business. It's not like I'm looking for something serious, but she came with so much baggage…"

Watch your mouth, Barry thought.

"What do you mean?" he inquired, remaining civilized.

"Wow, so that's still unfinished…" Dave noticed.

"What do you mean, Dave?"

"Maybe I shouldn't…"

"Dave!"

Dave sighed in fake exhaustion, because it was clear that he was enjoying to keep Barry in suspense.

"You're being surprisingly slow," he commented, making Barry grimace in impatience. "Allen, the only way a girl talks that much about another guy during a date is that the guy is her brother or…" He made a gesture with his hand, expecting Barry to guess the end of the sentence, but he frowned in response. "Okay, here's the thing: haven't you thought that maybe she likes you?"

Barry stopped himself from displaying vulnerability or looking desperate.

"Not really," he lied, walking around his chair. "Also, I bet she talked about our friend Cisco too."

"Vibe? Yeah, she did," he grinned, amused by Barry's scandalized expression. "He would be the brother, in this case."

Realizing that he didn't need to go all macho on Dave anymore, Barry let the mask fall off. While looking at the floor, he remembered Cisco's words about him resembling Oliver lately. His pride was still preventing him from doing some more digging, and his co-worker seemed to notice.

"The day I asked Caitlin out, she was here to see you," Dave added, getting Barry's attention back. "I don't know where you were. She seemed… a little shaken up. I offered her a cup of coffee, thinking that maybe she was here to report something… but then she told me she was your friend and needed to tell you something. She left before you got here, though. Judging by your expression, she never talked to you."

Barry tried to tell himself that that little piece of information didn't necessarily mean anything, but an invasive feeling of hope was already coming up into his guts and bubbling in his throat.

"You know, it's none of my business," Dave acknowledged, scratching the side of his head. "But the fact that this is the least hostile you've been to me since last week suggests that you're glad I told you this, so… If I were you, I'd go for it, man."

Barry touched the bridge of his nose. His head was spinning.

"Thank you," he said, keeping some distance between them. Dave was still a stranger after all. "I'll look into your cases as soon as I can."

"Thank you," the cop returned, automatically getting off his chair. "Goodnight, Allen."

The time it took Dave to reach the elevator felt eternal for Barry, who ran outside the building as soon as he heard him abandon the floor. So did the time that took him to cross the city, with his right mind desperately flashing warning signs. He knew he was being impulsive. He knew he was being impulsive again. But he didn't have to do anything this time. All he needed was to watch and analyze.

He needed to know.

When he was about to turn left into Caitlin's street, he saw the lights and the buildings shrink and disappear, like the space had just bent over itself. He stopped, finding himself in front of STAR Labs. He palmed the sleeves of his jacket when he noticed that they were on fire.

"So weird," he gasped, immediately realizing that the reason why he had been pulled there was that Caitlin wasn't home. "This bond thing, so weird!" He shouted, looking up at the sky, in case the speedforce was listening.

Barry rushed inside and stopped a few meters before the entrance of the Speed Room.

He found Caitlin in her training clothes and boxing gloves on, cautiously hitting the bag in front of her. Barry had heard her excusing herself before, saying that she didn't want to start hard and break her knuckles, but she was so tough for that.

She was simply holding back, still afraid of losing her perfectly crafted emotional control.

"Hey," Barry said, leaning against the door.

Caitlin hid her hands behind her back, like he had caught her red handed.

"Hi," she said back.

"What are you doing here so late?" Barry asked, slowly approaching her.

"I couldn't sleep." Caitlin tapped on the bag with her glove. "Thought I could make some progress on my own."

"That makes two of us… the sleeping part."

Caitlin smiled at him and turned to the punching bag again. Barry, noticing her form, approached her from behind and instinctively fixed it, pulling her by the hips to straighten her back.

"That's good," he told her, when she turned her head to him, silently asking for his approval. "No, no," he giggled, when she threw a flat punch. "The point of the form is using your whole body." He grabbed her from behind again, pressing his torso against her back, his chin resting on her shoulder. "Like this."

Barry guided her movements until he felt her using her own strength to throw the punches.

"Perfect," he told her, with his cheek pressed to hers.

"Thanks," Caitlin murmured.

"You're welcome."

Although the exchange was over, Barry tightened his embrace around her, turning the lesson into a back hug. Caitlin turned to him and, just like that evening in front of the elevator, glared at his face in awe, her lips slightly separated. Her hands ghosted over his, pressing to her stomach.

Haven't you thought that maybe she likes you?

Right when Barry tried to babble something, Caitlin chuckled and quickly rotated her torso, using all her strength to send him to the floor.

Barry let out a groan when he felt his back hit the mats they had placed all over the floor.

"Gotcha," Caitlin celebrated.

"You did," Barry moaned, from the floor.

"Oh, my God! Are you okay?" Caitlin stopped laughing and quickly kneeled next to him. "I'm so sorry! It was a joke, I saw that on YouTube earlier…"

"I'm okay, you just gave me a good scare," he laughed, getting up with her help. "Wow."

"I know. I just… I just want to figure out a way to get rid of attackers without piercing icicles through their skins."

"I see. YouTube is teaching you more than I am."

"That's so not true."

Barry beamed at her, despite knowing she was just being condescending. He knew that most of what she had learned in the past weeks had been thanks to previous experience, but he would never get tired of seeing her trying to reassure him.

"Listen… I'm sorry about last week," he apologized. "You know, when I made you angry enough to punch me. The fact you're here tonight makes me think that you feel some pressure from me…"

"Barry, it's okay..." Caitlin reassured him, rapidly interrupting herself to let Barry continue.

"I just wanted you to know that I'm not trying to turn you into a warrior." He gestured with his hands, trying to imitate Sara Lance holding her stick. "I'm no warrior myself… I just don't want anything happen to you..."

"I know." Caitlin grabbed his hands, when she noticed him getting more and more stressed. "I know."

"That's good. That's good."

They exchanged a prolonged smile, until Caitlin seemed to remember something.

"What were you doing here so late?" She asked, dropping his hands.

"I…" Barry let out, his mind wandering around the most unconvenient answers. "I wanted to check on you, I guess."

"Why? How did you even know I was still here?"

Barry sort of panicked at that question. Being a speedster, it wasn't exactly a problem to find someone, but he didn't want to lie to her again. Most importantly, he didn't want to scare her again. Telling her about a speedforce bond that he didn't quite understand yet definitely counted as scary.

"Barry…" she said, in that overly soft tone he was already familiar with. "What are you doing?"

"You need to be more specific," he pointed out, although he knew where she was heading.

"What's with all this attention and overprotection? Why are you being so nice to me?"

"I've always been nice to you…"

"Not like now… you're being excessively thoughtful, it's kind of freaking me out."

Despite his best wishes, Barry felt a first wave of anger growing in his stomach. So, he had to live with the fact Caitlin had rejected him twice, watch her go out with one of his co-workers and, now that things were slowly feeling normal again, put up with her questioning his motives?

"Why do you think I do it?" Barry ventured, already prepared. "I mean, if it freaks you out, you might already have a theory."

"You feel guilty about the powers and everything else, you already told me that," Caitlin answered.

"Well, you're wrong. I do it because I care about you. Me feeling guilty is another story."

"Well, I don't buy it."

"Wait, what?"

"I don't think you do it because you care."

"Are you for real right now?"

"Yes, I am."

Barry let out a dry chuckle and rubbed his temples.

"Caitlin, you're questioning a five-year-old friendship. We've been through literally everything together," he calmly stated, displaying his disbelief. "I think it should be me asking what the hell is wrong with you. Why would you say something like this? I've always cared about you…"

"See? That's where you're wrong!" She snapped, pointing at him. "The only reason you're so responsive to Cisco and me is that your attention is back in the lab, but we all know how things would still be if you were still…"

"If I was still what?"

Caitlin flinched.

"Forget it," she said, pulling back her word punches as well.

"No, please, continue," Barry prompted, bitterly. "Seems like you haven't forgiven me after all…"

"It's not that I haven't forgiven you… but at some point, you stopped being there for me. We know that." A twinge of pain crossed her face. "And now that nothing has kept you really busy for over a year, you're doing all this stuff."

"Caitlin, that's so unfair… we are friends. All I am doing is honor that."

"Would you still do it if you were…?"

"If I were what? Married to Iris? That's what this is about?"

Caitlin put her hands on her hips and slowly recoiled, regret written all over her face, despite not being the one who pronounced the words. Barry's wild guess hadn't come out of nowhere. It was something he had been suspecting, considering her impossibility to give him a clear answer.

"Well, the answer is: I don't know," he said, shuggring. "I don't know if I would, Caitlin, because guess what? I'm not married anymore. That happened for a reason… some things fall apart, some things stay the same, some new things happen… being stuck with the things that have fallen apart in my life is not who I am anymore. This is my life now. I'm divorced. You guys stuck around and I'm being the best friend and teammate I can. That's all that matters."

"Barry, I shouldn't have…" she started, apologetically.

"No, don't Barry me, I'm not done." Barry held his hands up, struggling to form his next sentence. "You know what? Suddenly everything that has happened in the last couple of weeks makes sense. Now I see why it seemed so easy for you to believe me when I said that my confession had been in the heat of the moment and I was totally fine with you seeing someone else." He saw the exact moment when realization struck her, accompanied by a blush creeping up her neck. "I wasn't, Caitlin. I was sad. I've been sad ever since... But now I'm heartbroken, knowing that, if you already doubt of how much I care about you, you will never believe how inspired I am by your strength and how hard I've fallen for you."

Barry put his hands behind his head and turned his back on her. He had done it again.

"You lied to me," Caitlin said, accusingly. "I asked you if you were okay with it and you lied."

"You think? I thought you didn't believe in my feelings!" Barry snapped back, raising his voice. "In fact, you believe so little in my feelings that you went on a date with a co-worker of mine you apparently didn't even like, considering you wore jeans to the second part of the date!" He added, not ready to tell her that Dave had told him everything already.

"Excuse me?!" She took one step forward, trying to reach his eye level. "What does my wardrobe have to do with anything? Are you really gonna be that guy?"

"There's nothing wrong with your wardrobe, but the last time I saw you wearing jeans you were volunteering at the children's hospital! What I mean is that you weren't trying to impress this guy!"

"Well, I'm not even seeing him! We had absolutely nothing in common and the date didn't go well!"

"How could that possibly go well? You almost kissed me in front of the elevator an hour before! Yes, I did notice!"

Caitlin swallowed and, despite looking so defiant, Barry noticed her looking at his lips again.

"You have feelings for me, Cait," he said, in the humblest tone he could. "I chose to believe you didn't because I can't bear any more heartbreak, but I know it. I feel it. I see it…"

"Barry, I can't… we can't let ourselves fall into this trap," she said, shying away from the real answer once again. "I know we've been sort of drawn to each other lately, but it's not real…"

"So, you do feel something."

"What if I do? I don't want to act on this. I don't want to wake up one day and realize you're just comfortable with me…"

"You keep talking about me, like you were already settled and I was the weak link…"

As soon as he saw Caitlin's eyes turning red and watery, Barry cleared his throat to stop his own need to cry.

They were fighting. God, they weren't even a couple and they were fighting.

"Caitlin, the fact I wasn't there for you at some point doesn't mean I can't be there now, make it up to you or form a stronger bond, like we already have," he declared, patiently. "And the fact we were married to other people once doesn't mean we can't fall in love again. If everything was determined by the first time, there are a lot of things we would never be able to do again, for the rest of our lives. Can you imagine?" He dared to take one lock of hair from her face and put it back in her ponytail. She squirmed under his touch. "Look, I know I don't deserve you. And I don't wanna get your way… but I see it, Cait. Right there in your eyes. You do have feelings for me and I can't understand what you're doing."

"Barry. We're going on the field together now…" She reminded him, reaching out for his hand. This time, to keep it away from her. "That's all I am doing. We can't afford to put each other above other people. People we're trying to save."

"Then we avoid going on missions together. We go alone or with Cisco."

"You see what I mean? Would you really be willing to change the team dynamic for us to be together?"

"It was just a suggestion!"

"Well, it won't work out!"

Barry put his hands behind his head once again, trying to get a small break from the conversation. He could feel that they had already reached the heart of the problem. All he needed to do now was find a solution she was willing to cooperate with.

"You're being way too practical," Barry observed, after the long breathing pause. "It doesn't matter if we're a couple or not, I'm in love with you. This dynamic is forever changed already."

"Well, you're gonna have to put those feelings aside!" Caitlin said, more demandingly. "You have to keep your eyes on the ball..."

"Or you should simply go on the field with Cisco."

"What?"

"You're not going out there with me anymore. I don't want you to."

Barry remained stoic, resisting all the skeptical looks Caitlin was giving him. He was risking way too much with this improvised plan he had just come up with. But, what if he had been using the wrong strategy? What if he did the opposite of what he had been doing so far?

What if he shut her out?

"See? This is exactly what I was trying to avoid!" She yelped, in disappointment. "You're making things way too complicated!"

"No. You are!" He clapped back. "Because you couldn't just live with the fact I am helping you without expecting anything in return and brought this up again. We were doing pretty good before this."

"So now it's my fault?!"

"For once, yeah, I think it is, Caitlin!" Barry stood there, trying not to focus on her face. He didn't want to see the effect of his words. "Accepting help and love from your friends, that's voluntary. Falling for someone is not. You can't be mad at me for something I can't control."

"You're infatuated!"

"I'm not! I'm a grown man for crying out loud! I know what I want!"

"Why do you do this?" She asked, throwing her arms up in exasperation. "Why do you always give more than you get? Why don't you look for someone who would be willing to do the same good stuff you do?"

There, he thought, noticing that subtle change in her speech. Barry couldn't predict how her mind worked, but he knew her enough to know that, if she really had made up her mind, she would've left the room three minutes ago. And the fact she insisted on bringing up a third party, Iris and some hypothetical girl, was also very telling.

She was testing him. Probably not consciously, but she was.

"Because I'm looking at her," he let out, cursing himself for choosing the most generic line ever. "She's given me so much, but she won't let me do enough for her. She's pushing me away."

"Oh, my God," Caitlin grumbled, covering her face with her hands. "You're so annoying..."

Barry wanted to think that she was trying not to laugh, but her hands fell off her face and revealed an exhausted expression.

"We need a break from each other," she concluded, taking him by surprise.

"I completely agree," Barry said, going with the flow. "So… we're not going on the field together until you accept the fact that I love you and I can't turn that off. You need to learn how to live with that."

Although Barry had done his best to remain calm, he couldn't help mirroring her stunned expression.

Had he just told her that he loved her?

"No," Caitlin said, coolly "No. We're not going on the field until you accept that you're infatuated, you need some self-esteem and…" She puffed hard, trying to regain some control. Her cheeks were so red that Barry had to resist the random temptation to laugh. "And..."

"Then I guess we won't ever fight crime together again..." Barry gritted out, his angst making hard to believe that he still had the situation under control.

"Fine!"

"I wonder what new excuse not to be together you'll have tomorrow."

"Don't," she muttered, raising a threatening finger. "I won't be here tomorrow."

"Fine by me."

"Fine."

"Fine."

Caitlin turned her back and started a furious walk towards the exit. Once she was at the door, she whirled around one more time.

"FINE!" she yelled back, before slamming the door behind her.

Driven by anger, Barry punched the desk behind him. Lightning escaped his arm, sending all the equipment to the floor. He panted, trying to make peace with the fact his stupid plan had failed. He had not only ruined things between them again, but also kicked Caitlin out of the lab accidentally. Not so long after he vowed to help her, he let his emotions get the best of him.

However, he didn't have enough time to cry over the spilt milk, because the door of the Speed Room had opened again. Annoyed, Barry crouched down to pick up the bunch of electronics he had dropped before Harry or Cisco could ask him anything, but stopped when he glanced up and saw that Caitlin was back.

Barry got up, loathing himself for the awful, displeased look he was giving her, despite being right about some things he had said.

"Are we done?" She asked, crossing the room serenely.

"What?" Barry asked, crankily.

"Yelling."

Barry automatically relaxed his face in surrender, his chest feeling heavy at the sound of her calm voice.

What had this woman done to him?

"I am," he answered, greeting her with a slow smile.

"Me too," Caitlin blurted out, in obvious relief.

Barry noticed that both were struggling to find something to say next, which only seemed to intensify that tension between them. Since he had already put one foot in front of him when he saw her propelling forward, it was impossible to tell who had made the first move. Maybe he had sped to her, maybe Caitlin had run to him. He didn't know. All that mattered was that, somehow, they reunited halfway. He instinctively picked her up when she jumped on him, wrapping her legs around his waist and kissing him desperately.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed, against his lips. "I'm such an idiot."

"No, I'm sorry," he said, in a high-pitched tone, happiness taking over his senses. "I was pushing you…"

"You were right. You were right about everything. I didn't want to go out with him. I was at the CCPD to see you…"

"I know..."

"I wanted to tell you I wanted to be with you, but I was so afraid. Then he asked me out and I accepted…"

"I know…"

"I tried to cancel, I was sending him a text when you caught me." Caitlin leaned her head back to look at him, her hands anxiously pressing to his cheeks. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to think I wasn't into you, but then you started asking and I sort of let it out to know if you were still into me, but then you said you weren't…"

Barry lifted a hand to bring her head down and press their foreheads together.

"You're…such… a dummy," he told her, giving her one peck with each word. "Breathe now..."

"You were right about me making excuses," she proceeded, ignoring his suggestion. "I don't know why I kept this going for so long, but I never wanted you to give up on me."

"I never did." Barry kissed her eagerly on the forehead, on the cheek and on the nose, barely believing his luck. "I ran here because Dave told me almost everything you just said. And how you spent the date talking about me," Barry added, teasingly.

"Not the entire date…" She corrected, receiving a cheeky look from Barry. "Fine... I guess the only thing I wanted to talk about was the person I wanted to be talking to."

He stared at her tenderly as she rubbed his nose with hers. A sense of peace washed over him, putting his speed thinking to work. In a blink of an eye, a whole lot of memories flashed behind his eyes: Caitlin leaning over him when he had woken up from his coma. Caitlin looking at him from the other side of the room. Caitlin doctoring to save his life. Caitlin hugging him a little bit longer during a goodbye. Caitlin asking him to stay with her until she fell asleep. Drunk Cisco and Caitlin singing "So What" at the karaoke bar to cheer him up. Cisco telling him that Caitlin had attended Flash Day, after he spent six months thinking that she hated him.

He kneeled on the mats, with her still wrapped around his body like a koala.

"Cait," he mumbled, voice shaken from feeling so much. She raised her eyebrows in response to her name and smiled attentively. "I meant it before… I love you."

"I believe you," she told him, her eyes resting on his with pure, unconditional trust. "I do."

Barry's heart skipped a beat when she leaned down to kiss him, still amazed by the sudden turn of events. Unlike the bruising kiss they had already shared, their lips locked calmly this time, and their hands started wandering over each other's bodies. Barry leaned forward to carefully drop Caitlin on the mats and hovered over her. As soon they managed to pull each other's shirts off, Caitlin felt down Barry's torso and tried to unzip his pants, but he pinned her hands above her head and they lost themselves in kissing. Her concentration seemed to drop even more when his lips started descending from her ear to her neck, nipping her skin.

"We'll have to delete this from the cameras," she reminded him, breathless from the slow thrusts of his hips against hers.

"As soon as we're... ouch! Done," he gasped, when she bit down his lower lip and her nails scratched the small of his back.

Caitlin's hands ascended to the back of his head to pull him back to her and she slid her tongue in his mouth. Barry's pulse started racing as he kissed her back, and he only realized how much when he felt energy projecting out of his body. He opened one eye to see the screen of the mistreated equipment crack next to him.

Barry knew that was the worst moment to explain anything to Caitlin, so he played it cool, wondering how it was possible that he hadn't shocked her.

"Did you hear that?" Caitlin breathed out.

"No," he lied, reaching under her to unclasp her bra

"Oh, my God!"

Caitlin took her hand off Barry's hair and grabbed his arm to stop him.

"What? What is it?" Barry stilled his action and raised himself on his elbows to look at her. She was covering her eyes with her free hand. "Are you okay? Do you want us to go somewhere else?"

"No, Barry..."

She shoved his face away from hers and grabbed him by the chin to turn his head to the door.

"Oh, my God," Barry agreed, noticing that they weren't alone.

"I believe that's my line," Cisco said, in shock, holding his Star Wars mug in a weird angle and letting all the content spill on the floor.