Hear Me

By: Ryu Katanna

Beta:

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Three

A few weeks later Kagome jolted herself out of bed in a cold sweat. She panted in fright as she looked around the somewhat familiar room before registering where she was. Letting out a deep breath she started to calm when she knew that she was safe. It was just another nightmare from her past. The skin on the top of her hip twinged as the images played through her mind again.

'It's in the past. It's already happened. Why do I have to keep remembering it? He's dead! He's dead, and he'll never hurt me again; so why?' Kagome choked back a sob and turned to the drawer next to her.

Inside were several different sized bottles with different pills in varying shapes, sizes and colors. All with one thing in common. They had been prescribed to her, and some days she felt they were the only thing keeping her sane through the sleepless nights. She downed the one for anxiety dry before throwing the bottle back in the drawer and slamming it shut.

After a few minutes she felt her body start to relax a bit more, and knowing that though she was still exhausted from another one of Mika's shopping sprees, there would be no more sleep waiting for her tonight. She could hear the steady typing faintly from the other side of the wall. Kagome found the sound and the thought of her cousin's presence soothing. Picking up the well worn pad of paper next to her bed, and her cigarettes with the lighter she made her way out of the room and the the closed door next to it. Giving it a light knock she opened the door to see Eiri stop typing and look up at her.

Their eyes connected in the dim light from the laptop and Kagome pointed to the chaise nearby in a silent question. Did he mind if she sat in here with him? Eiri nodded before turning back to his work, and Kagome folded her legs under her as she made herself comfortable next to the desk. With a slightly shaky movement she pulled a cigarette out of the pack and lit it before setting the rest of the pack and light on the desk next to her cousins own pack and the ash tray.

They sat there in a comfortable silence with the only sounds being the steady tapping of fingers on the keyboard, shuffling of papers as the notebook was opened to a clean page, the slow inhale of smoke, and the light scratching as pen slid across paper.

An hour passed, and then two as Kagome's mind settled and the words flowed steadily to the paper. The notebook was so well worn that the cover was starting to fall apart from daily handling, and it only had a few blank pages left before she would have to start again in a new one. This was her third one in the last year; the very first two of which was safely tucked away.

"It's over now." Eiri said as he watched her light her sixth cigarette in the two hours since she had entered the room.

Kagome looked up at him when he spoke and sighed softly to herself when she realized her was speaking to her. She just knew he had noticed the shaking of her fingers as she fumbled with that first cigarette. He may have been busy writing, but he was still ever observant of her actions. Kagome knew that he would notice her troubles, and so she had hidden in her room when she'd had nightmares, but the appeal of his company had finally won out. Right now he was giving her the chance to talk about what was on her mind, but he wasn't pushing her to tell him. That's all her mother and grandfather had ever done.

(I know. I just relive it in my sleep sometimes. I'm okay now though.) She wrote when she had flipped to a fresh page.

There was so little light in the room that she knew he would have a hard time reading her lips and movements. She handed him the pad and watched as he read before he handed it back. She knew from the pensive look on his face that he was thinking about if he should say what he wanted to. He didn't want her to shut down on him, and if he said what he wanted to then she just might.

Eiri may have changed through the years, but one thing Kagome had learned in the weeks she had been staying with him and Shuichi was that he was still the same person at his core that she had grown up with. He was still her caring and protective second cousin. He had always looked out for her when they were together as children, and he had been doing the same now. She didn't know all the details of what had happened to him when they were younger. All she knew was that he had gone to live in America because of other kids harassing him about his hair and eye color. Something had happened that had hurt him, and now he wasn't as open or expressive.

"You don't ever have to tell anyone what happened. All any of us can do right now is guess, Kagome, and I know I haven't been there for you since we were kids. I am here for you now." Eiri's voice was calm, and a bit awkward as he spoke.

It was more than he had said on the subject before. They looked at each other for several minutes as Kagome thought about what he was offering. Her heart clenched as she thought about it. Should she tell him? Would he believe her, and if he did, would he understand? Somehow, she felt he would be able to understand her better than anyone. Several minutes passed in silence as Eiri waited for her response.

The quiet scratching on paper filled the room for only a few seconds. Kagome's hand shook as she handed him the notebook, her eyes cast downward so they were hidden by her hair. Eiri took the paper slowly, giving her time to take it back if she wanted, before reading the words she had written. His eyes narrowed and he reached for a cigarette he knew he would need if this conversation was going to continue.

(My scars came from the person who I loved most.) Was all she had written, but it was enough for him.

She had been hurt by someone she had cared for. It was a concept he was all too familiar with.

"Kagome." Eiri spoke as she stood from her seat and motioned for him to wait as she went to her room.

When she returned with a thick notebook in hand, she turned on the light, and shut and locked the door. If they were going to talk about this then she didn't want Shuichi coming in. She liked the singer, but she didn't know him well enough for him to be part of this. Eiri, she felt a kinship with for reasons she couldn't even understand. Even though they were family the feeling was more than she had even had with her own brother. Kagome picked up the notebook she had written in again.

(I've never wanted anyone to know. No one would ever believe me. They would think I was crazy. Will you believe me, Eiri? Will you believe what I have done?) She wrote and waited for his response.

"People lie about a lot of things. However, I do not believe you would lie. Not about what has happened to you." Eiri replied only for his eyes to widen slightly in surprise when Kagome launched herself at his chest in a tight hug.

It was slightly awkward as he was still sitting in his chair. Light brown eyes softened as he looked down at the long dark hair of his favorite cousin. He had an idea of how she was feeling right now. Wrapping his arms around her, Eiri lifted and carried her back over to the chaise where he made them both comfortable with her on his lap. There he waited for her to calm down as she curled herself into his chest. When she did Kagome sat up and wrote in the notebook once again.

(I wrote it all in this when I got out of the hospital. It was eating me alive, but I just couldn't tell anyone. Souta looked up to him, and mom trusted him. I couldn't bring myself to tell them. Can we just stay like this while you read it?) She wrote before she handed him both notebooks.

Eiri read what she wrote silently before he shifted to get more comfortable with a nod. She had sat with him like this once before when they were children; when her father died. He knew this had to be just as hard for her now as that was then. Here she had written it all down, and now she was trusting him with what had happened to her. If all she wanted was to sit curled up with him while he read it then he would let her. He wanted to help her, and if this would provide any comfort to her as her secrets were being told then so be it.

123

Hours passed as the night turned into early morning. They had heard Shuichi leave for work a little while ago. Still, Eiri read silently through the notebook. He had paused a few times in the pages to squeeze her arm gently in comfort, or to look for a scar that had been mentioned.

He read attentively, and was almost at the end. This had happened to her? As unbelievable as it was he knew Kagome had never been one to make up stories. The scars that coincided with the story were only further proof of the reality. Finally he came to the last page.

(Finally the Shikon No Tama had been completed. Naraku was defeated, but there had been losses on our end as well. Kohaku had returned to death after Naraku had torn the shard from his back in a desperate bid for more power. Sango's cries still deafen my ears when I think about it. After everything she had lost the last of her family. Koga had been killed by Kagura, and Miroku was poisoned by the hell wasps. We were lucky to have the last epi-pen in my backpack. I was only thankful that Shippo had stayed in the village with Kaede when the battle broke out.

We were all injured in some way, but I had the least of it with the gash across my thigh and scratches everywhere. I didn't pay any attention to it as I was treating Miroku.

We had survived, and I was grateful for that. Sesshomaru had left once he was certain Naraku was dead. None of us were suspecting what happened next.

Inuyasha's claws raked across my hip roughly drawing blood as he spun me around. I tried yelling his name, but those same claws soon found my throat. It was then, as those claws dug themselves into my throat, that he told me. He demanded the Shikon to bring Kikyo back to life, and my soul because she could not live without it.

The man I loved wanted to kill me to bring back his dead lover. It was more than I could bare. My mind snapped, and my heart ached as my reiki burst from me in defense. I couldn't see through the blood and my tears, but I could hear his screams as he was pushed back. I had purified him. I killed him.

My vision was fading, but I could feel as Sango and Miroku pushed me onto Kirara's back. Blood was everywhere and I could hear the panic in my friends voices. I knew then I was dying from both the blood loss and my inability to breath properly. Kirara managed to get me back to the well, and somehow back to my own time. Souta found me at the bottom of the well...)

The writing went on to tell of how she drifted in her coma, and of when she woke up. When she found out she had lost her voice, and she'd needed a feeding tube to bypass her trachea for the first few months as she healed. The pressures from her family to tell them what had happened, and when she had been denied to take over the shrine. Something she had always been expected to do.

Eiri dropped the notepad to the side of the chaise before wrapping his arms securely around the amazing young woman in his lap as she shivered; knowing he knew everything now. She buried her face in his chest as she just soaked in his steady presence. Eiri said nothing as she took what comfort he could give. What could he possibly say?

Everything he had just read seemed impossible. He believed her because she really had no reason to lie. Rather than lying about what she had been through she had stayed silent on what happened all this time. It really was a fantastical story, but he had grown up at his family's temple. He had heard the old legends growing up as well.

They sat there is silence as her body slowly stopped it's shivering, and only a few stubborn tears continued to trail slowly from dark lashes. Eiri just let her take the time she needed. This was something he knew she must have been needing for a long time, and so he just patiently allowed her the time to purge herself of all the emotions she had built up over the last year. He wasn't the most expressive person, by far, but this was one thing he could do for her.

Eiri had half thought she had fallen asleep when Kagome shifted to look up at him. She studied his reaction only to find his expression calm. He reached over to their cigarettes as he shifted and brought back the ashtray and lighter with them before handing her one and taking one for himself. It was a bad habit, but had the effect of soothing her frayed nerves with both the effect of the nicotine, and the repetitive motions. It was more than Kagome had cried since everything had happened, and she found herself reassured by Eiri's calm silence as she sat up more to receive the cigarette and lighter he had handed her. The calm quiet that had settled between them was comfortable as they both took a few hits before she turned to him.

-Thank you, Eiri.- She mouthed with a small smile, and though she received only a nod in return, Kagome knew that he understood.

"You survived." His words held a deep meaning when he spoke a few minutes later, and she felt a weight that had been there for the last year throb in pain.

Yet, there was also a kind of relief she had found in his words.

-Yes.- She agreed as blue looked back into the piercing light brown that was lit with a look of knowing.

"Do you regret it?" The question was asking so many things with just that one sentence.

Did she regret living after all that had happened? Did she regret what she had done in order to survive? Did she regret not dying? Did she regret having to kill the man she had loved just so she could have the chance to live?

-I don't regret that I'm still alive. It's because I'm still alive that I can remember the better things. It's knowing that things ended that way is what bothers me. I still think, what if I had just done something differently? Would he have still done that? Could I have saved him, somehow?- Kagome replied slowly and her lower lip trembled before she took another silent inhale of the smoke before putting it out in the tray.

"I wasn't your responsibility to save him, Kagome. The only one who could have done that was himself. He made his own choices. Those questions may never go away, but you know well enough that someone can only be responsible for their own actions. The end result is something the rest of us just have to live with." The look on his face took a darker turn, and Kagome knew that in some way he wasn't just talking about her and Inuyasha.

Her mind flashed back to their childhood. To the young boy she had known as they grew up. The boy she only knew something had happen to after he had left Japan for a time. That boy that she could now scarcely see in the man in front of her. It was then she knew.

That feeling a familiarity wasn't just from when they were children. The understanding that she got from his words and actions spoke more to her than she had realized before now. She wasn't the only one who had lost someone she had cared for. She wasn't the only one who'd had to kill so that she could live. Kagome now recognized that gleam that had entered his eyes. She had seen it before in her friends in the past. It was a darkness that someone who had killed another in order to survive carried.

What had happen to Eiri in the years since they had last seen each other?

-I know you're right. It's just going to take some time. Writing helps me sometimes.- She replied after tapping his hand to gain his attention.

"Writing?" Eiri asked a little bemused as he thought of his own work.

-Songs.- Kagome answered simply as she picked up her other notebook before handing it to him.

He had already read what she had written on her adventures in the past. He had not called her a liar, and so her trust in him had only grown. She had already trusted him with that much. The lyrics she had written when the emotions became too much are really just an extension of that. It had been her release over the last year.

The room was quiet for several minutes as Eiri read through a few different pages. Kagome smiled slightly as she seen his eyebrows raise before he looked up at her. He had shown her so much understanding of what she had gone through already. It would make sense that he would know what the lyrics were about.

Kagome watched as he paused on one that she recognized all too well. The word Haunted at the top of the page had been traced many times over. The words were written in a shaky hand and ink splotched the page from where tears had fallen on the still wet ink. It had been written after one of the worse nights for her. The nightmares plaguing her mind after the year anniversary of Naraku's defeat. After HIS death.

"When did you start writing like this?" Eiri asked her after reading through the last of the words on the page.

His finger traces the grooves of the indents where the title was written. Light brown eyes stared blankly at the paper. The words resounding with something deeper in him. Kagome placed her hand on his arm and squeezed gently to get him to look up at her.

-Since I woke up in the hospital. I'll never be able to sing, but putting everything down helps.- She told him with a small smile.

Eiri could see just how broken that smile really was. It was nothing like the smile he had known as a child. She had used to sing when she was happy, and he could remember the beautiful lilt she'd had when she had done so. Her voice had no doubt changed since then. The tones of a child growing into that of a woman. How he wished he could hear the songs he held written on paper.

Yet, he would never hear them from the one who had written them.

Suddenly, Eiri understood what had caused so much of her mother's grief. Inuyasha had robbed Kagome of her voice, and in doing so had taken something from not only her. He had robbed her family, and anyone Kagome would meet in the future. Sure, he could understand her just fine, but not everyone would.

"How do you feel about going somewhere?" Eiri asked her as his hand gripped the notebook, and he looked at her with a small gleam in his eye.

Kagome looked back a little surprised by the question, but could only nod in response.

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Well, this is the latest. Home you liked it. Let me know what you thought. It took a while to get it all down with everything I have going on. I've been more occupied with my others stories as it is now.

~Ryu