Kris bolted up in bed, screaming. Another nightmare. This had been happening every night since she got out of prison. She didn't know what to do.

She lay back down. She felt so hopeless.

No, there was one ting she could do. It hadn't really been helping but she would keep trying.

She bolted out of bed and ran to the bathroom. Once in there she shed her pajamas and started the shower. Stepping in she lathered herself all over and began the ritual of trying to wash away the violations.

She washed and washed until there was no hot water left, then she hastily rinsed and stepped out of the shower. It didn't help. She still felt them. She still felt dirty. She still felt them on her and in her.

Kris stared at her naked body in the bathroom mirror. The marks and bruises were still there. They would fade over time but the memory of what had happened never would.

Stifling a cry, Kris left the bathroom but didn't return to bed. She knew she was up for the day now, anyway. The question was, what to do now. Perhaps she should eat some breakfast. She hadn't really felt hungry since it had happened but she was making herself eat because she knew it was important.

Entering the kitchen, Kris put coffee on. Not a whole pot because she was just one person, but enough for a cup or two. Coffee was about the only thing that helped her right now.

What in the hell was she supposed to do? She knew she couldn't go on like this. Sooner or later something would have to give.

Work, especially. Charlie had generously told her to take all the time she needed off; she'd still get paid, which was helpful but not a permanent solution. Because there was a limit and as wealthy and as generous as Charlie was, even he wouldn't keep her on if she never went back to work.

'Shut up, Kris! Stop it! You'll go back to work; of course you will. You just need time. It really hasn't been that long since that happened. You'll go back to work; of course you will.'

Of course being unable to even think the word 'rape' was not a very good sign, although it was understandable.

Despite Kris' venom against Charlie to Kelly, she knew it wasn't really his fault. The ones whose fault it was were the ones who had done this to her.

But therein was the other problem. Sure this could have happened to any of the other Angels. They were in a dangerous job, after all.

But it hadn't happened to one of the others; it had happened to her. And was the reason because she was too weak and powerless to handle this job? Maybe it was really her fault? Or Charlie's.

All Kris knew was that she was very confused and upset. Would she ever get over this? Of course she would; she had to or else Jill would have been right and this job wasn't for her.

Jill. She hoped she would never find out about this. But that was stupid. How would she find out? Kris wasn't going to tell her, certainly.

The last thing Kris wanted was to prove her sister right, in that she shouldn't have dropped out of college but stayed and become a teacher like was the original plan. Because right now, Kris was afraid that Jill had been right.

Certainly if she had been a teacher she wouldn't have been terribly hurt on the job as she now was.

But there was no sense in crying about that now. She wasn't a teacher; she was a former police woman who was now a private detective.. That was the reality of what she was.

Also another reality was that she had been terribly hurt on the job and would now have to deal with that. But could she? She was having a great many doubts about that.