Chapter 4

The Enchanted Forest

When Sunday came around, Regina wondered if she'd made a mistake by agreeing to teach Henry and Emma. Sunday was the one day of the week that she got to sleep until the sun came up and then spend time with Robin and Roland. But as she was making breakfast and watched Roland play with the same old toy he'd had for as long as she could remember, she knew that she had to make good on her promise so she could provide more for the little boy. She kissed both of them goodbye and by the time she got to the stables, Henry was there waiting for her. Leroy was posted up against his carriage and gave her a happy wave which she returned.

She spent the next couple of hours teaching Henry the basics of horses and riding. She was delighted to learn that he was a respectful, well-mannered and curious young man. Although she didn't actually let him get on a horse yet, she could tell that he was going to be a natural. He was enthused but calm and all the horses, even the wild one, took to him immediately.

The same could not be said for his mother.

After her lessons with Henry, Leroy took Henry back and promised to return with Emma within an hour. Regina had just enough time to eat a very quick lunch with Robin and Roland before returning to the stables, where Emma was waiting with big worried eyes. Regina quickly learned of the blonde that she absolutely no inclination for riding and was extraordinarily clumsy. In a span of ten minutes, she'd knocked over a water bucket, run into a closed stall and nearly gotten herself decapitated by standing too close to a horse and then spooking it.

"Oh, good God," Regina mumbled to herself.

She grabbed Emma's arm and dragged her into an empty stall and then pointed at a bench, where Emma slumped.

"Are you always this hopeless?" she asked.

"Kind of, yeah."

"It's a wonder you haven't set yourself on fire, then."

"Yeah, about that, can we get to the magic?"

Regina hushed her harshly and stuck her head out to make sure that nobody had heard them. When she was sure that Leroy was still at the carriage and nobody else was around, she spoke in a low tone.

"If you would please refrain from saying that out loud, it would be appreciated. I don't know about you but I much prefer my head on my shoulders and not on the ground somewhere."

"What are you so worried about? It's not like the queen can hear us."

"She has eyes and ears everywhere, I assure you. So if we could please use some other terminology…?

Emma looked around and then asked, "okay, what can you tell me about horses?"

Her eyes sparkled like she had come up with something oh so clever and Regina couldn't help but think that she looked somewhat adorable. She left the stall long enough to retrieve Pico, and when he brought her back, Emma nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Relax," Regina said. "He's very sweet. He saved your life." She took a brush and began to run it along Pico's black mane.

"Now, the first thing to know about horses is that before you get on and ride one, you have to build a relationship. You have to learn to trust your horse and it has to learn to trust you. Riding," she said with a tone that made sure Emma knew that she was really talking about magic, "is all about emotion. If you're calm, your horse will be calm. If you're upset or anxious, your horse will be erratic and uncontrolled."

She brushed Pico for a little while, hoping to show Emma how to be calm and methodical, and then she asked, "how did you learn how to…?" She gestured to her hand.

"It just sort of happened one day," Emma said.

"What were you feeling at the time?"

The blonde's face clouded. "Anger."

Regina cocked an eyebrow, curious about whatever put that look on the other woman's face, but she didn't ask.

"Is it always anger that brings it out of you?"

Emma thought about it for a second and said, "yeah, I think it is."

"Anger is certainly a strong emotion, but it's volatile. You should try to focus on another feeling. Like happiness or love or…" 'Lust' came to mind but she bit it back. She patted Pico and then stood in front of Emma. "Close your eyes and think of something that makes you happy."

Emma obediently followed the instruction.

"Take a deep breath," Regina said. "Envision a scene that makes you happy and calm. Are you envisioning it?"

It took a moment before the blonde nodded.

"All right. Now channel that feeling into your…horse."

Regina could tell from the look of concentration on Emma's face that she was trying to do just that, but nothing happened. Her hands didn't light up in even the smallest flicker of a spark.

"Are you thinking?" she pressed.

"Yeah."

"But you don't feel anything?"

Emma popped an eye open and disappointedly shook her head.

"Okay, let me try something." Regina sat down next to her and took her hand. "Try again and this time, I'll give you a boost with my own magic."

Emma closed her eyes again and concentrated, and Regina felt warmth emanating from her palm. She sent a little pulse of her own magic through Emma and expected the other woman to get a jump start. What she did not expect was such a strong blow back of their combined magic that it nearly knocked her off the bench.

Emma's eyes flew open and their gazes locked as the energy passed between them. Heat crawled up Regina's spine and she was overwhelmed by a sense of familiarity for the woman next to her, a person that she'd only met a few days earlier but who she now felt inexplicably close to. She couldn't say how, but she knew Emma. And underneath that knowledge was trust. And fondness. And not a small amount of what felt eerily like desire.

At that, she yanked her hand away and stood up abruptly.

"I think that's enough for today," she said.

"What the hell was that?" Emma asked with wide eyes. "That, that feeling?"

"Nothing, it's perfectly common when two people share magic," Regina lied.

"Then why are we stopping?"

"Because that's enough for today and I'd prefer not to push my luck being here when I don't have to be. Think about what I told you. Practice on your own using something other than anger. We'll try again next week, all right?"

Emma gave her a hard, scrutinizing look. But then she nodded and stood.

"Yeah, okay."

She walked past Regina and gave a wide berth to Pico, and Regina steadfastly did not let her eyes roam to the back of Emma's pants. Guilt flooded her body and she reminded herself that she was with Robin, her soulmate. He was a good, honorable man and they'd made a life together with a little boy that she loved dearly. It wouldn't do to have stray thoughts about another person, no matter how cute she was.

...

Storybrooke

Extreme morning sickness and supernatural sensitivity to smells were not the only gifts that pregnancy bestowed upon Regina. Over the next two days, she was also hit with the trifecta of clumsiness (she'd run into three doors, a counter and banged her funny bone on the fridge handle), mood swings (she'd snapped at Henry for placing his plate too heavily on the counter and then cried for five minutes about being mean to him), and body pain. Oh, the body pain.

For someone who'd been slim and trim her whole life, an extra 22.4 pounds of weight was quite noticeable. Her lower back ached from her new center of gravity and it seemed as though she could feel every millimeter of her hips as they spread to accommodate a birthing canal for a soon-to-be human. It was that thought that led her to abandon her mayoral duties while she teleworked and she instead opened YouTube and searched birthing videos.

The results horrified her.

She was only halfway through a video when she quickly closed YouTube and instead searched Google for real women's experiences with the matter. The message boards were somehow worse than the videos.

"No, no, no," she said as she shut her computer and walked to the kitchen. She looked down at her stomach and said, "you'll just have to stay in there forever. I am not doing that."

"Not doing what?"

Regina yelped and spun to find Emma strutting into her kitchen with a bag from Granny's. She really shouldn't have been surprised, as Emma had taken it upon herself to be the official Regina Handler since she the only one who didn't make Regina want to barf all the time. Poor Henry had taken to washing his clothes twice and had changed his soap and deodorant to something less aggressively manly and far less offensive than Axe just so his own mother could stand to be within ten feet of him.

"Brought you a salad," Emma said.

Regina should have been happy with that, she knew, but the thought of eating another salad made her depressed. Her eyes tracked the grilled cheese sandwich that Emma pulled out for herself, and her mouth actually watered when she saw the golden brown bread that looked perfectly crispy. The cheese oozed out in a way that was almost taunting and Regina didn't realize she was staring until Emma snapped her fingers.

"Hello?"

"I'm sorry, were you saying something?"

"Only that you were staring at my sandwich like you want to make love to it."

"I was not!"

"Pretty sure you started drooling."

"As always, you're being ridiculous."

Regina made a show of grabbing her salad and violently stabbed a fork into it and ate it. It tasted like cardboard. She watched Emma as she picked up half of her sandwich and lifted it, letting the melted cheese stretch obscenely. Emma grinned and held it out.

"You sure you don't want some?"

"No. Some of us don't eat like kindergarteners."

"Yeah, some of us eat like old people."

Regina narrowed her eyes but couldn't tear her gaze away as Emma brought the sandwich closer and closer to her own mouth and just before she bit it, Regina reached out, snatched it, and took a savage bite. The moan that resulted would have been embarrassing if she gave a damn.

"Oh my God," she said with a nod of her head. She devoured the whole thing and took the other half without even considering that Emma might want to eat it herself. "So good."

"Wow, I guess I'll just eat this salad, then," Emma said with a disgusted face.

"You could stand to eat some greens."

Emma took a bite and winced like it pained her physically to eat.

"So what were you grumbling about when I came in?" she asked.

"I've decided that I don't want to give birth," Regina said, like she was making a royal pronouncement.

"You're a little late for that, don't you think?"

"The process seems terrifying and I'd prefer not to do it."

"What brought this on?"

Regina felt a small flush of shame when she admitted, "I may have watched a birthing video on YouTube."

"Ooh, rookie mistake."

"Yes, and then I compounded that error by reading horror stories from mothers online." She played with an apple in the fruit bowl on the counter and looked at Emma, feeling more vulnerable than she typically liked to be. "Is it really as awful as they say?"

The Sheriff drowned the salad in dressing and took a few moments to think before she said, "yep."

"Well, thank you, Miss Swan, for assuaging my fears."

"Look, I'm trying to be real with you. Friends don't let friends drive drunk or go into birth thinking it's gonna be kittens and rainbows. If you want that, go talk to Snow."

Regina frowned and twisted the stem off an apple.

"It just looks so painful," she said quietly.

"It is. It's the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life. But you know what? When it's all done, you'll have a sweet little baby in your arms and it'll be worth it."

"Will it? Because I don't feel any connection to it…her…at all, Emma. What if I don't love her?"

Emma slid her salad to the side and reached across the table to cover Regina's hand with her own. She smiled softly and said, "you will. You're such a loving mom and you'll love her, even if you don't right now. Despite what you may want people to think about you, you have a huge heart and she'll have a spot in it."

Regina grumbled but didn't move her hand from under Emma's.

"I'll admit, that's not my only concern."

"Okay, what else is there?"

Regina hesitated because her next question was far more personal than she and Emma had ever gotten. But she had a source of knowledge right in front of her, so she decided to suck it up and ask.

"Will my area ever return to normal?"

"Oh yeah, of course. I mean you might have a few stretch marks but that's a badge of motherhood."

Regina rolled her eyes.

"Not that area."

She waited for a few seconds for Emma to connect the dots, and when she did, the Sheriff's face turned beet red.

"Oh! Oh. Um yeah, it'll go back. That's kinda, you know, what it's made for, like, putting big things in and pushing big things out."

Regina realized then that as awkward as she felt, Emma was way worse. Her whole face was blushing and she was stuttering. The mayor grinned and slid down so she could speak lower.

"Putting big things in?"

"Shut up! You know what I mean."

"No, I'm afraid I don't. Could you explain?"

If possible, Emma got even redder.

"Oh my, Miss Swan, you truly are uncomfortable, aren't you?"

"Well it's not like we've had the kind of friendship where we just sit around talking about our vaginas!"

"Would you like for us to have the kind of friendship where we sit around and talk about our vaginas?"

"You know what? You're an asshole."

"I'm sure there are plenty of people who'd agree with that statement."

Emma sighed and threw her hands up, looking down so Regina couldn't give her those judgy devious stares anymore. "Just, whatever. I'm sure after the baby's here, you'll go right back to your normal self and look as hot as you always do."

Regina's grin widened. "You think I'm hot?"

"Oh my God," Emma groaned.

Regina chuckled and then walked around the kitchen counter and sat next to Emma and bumped their shoulders together.

"I'm just teasing you," she said. "Thank you for bringing me lunch and telling me what to expect. If I'm being completely honest, I'm terrified of the whole thing. Teasing you gives me a little break from worrying about how this baby is going to rip me in half."

"She won't rip you in half, okay? It'll be fine. You can get an epidural and that'll help."

"Can't we just use magic?"

Emma frowned. "No. We don't know what magic might do to her. You'll have to suffer through this just like us average humans."

"You're hardly an average human, Miss Swan."

They fell into a companionable silence after that, with Emma munching away at the rest of the salad and Regina trying and failing not to envision the whole birthing process.

"There are exercises you can do, you know," Emma offered after a while. "For your whole…lady situation."

Regina snorted. "My lady situation?"

"Vagina is too clinical."

"And lady situation sounds like something Henry would say, since he's a teenage boy and all."

"Well what do you want me to say, Regina? Your delicate flower?"

Looking back on it, Regina would have no explanation for what she said next other than that for a moment, she was possessed by the Evil Queen. She leaned in close to Emma, too close probably, and said, "you could try 'my pussy' on my for size." Emma's eyes got as big as saucers, and that was the exact moment that Robin made his presence known.

"I should hope she's not trying it on, love," he said.

The two women jumped apart and Emma nearly fell off her barstool. Robin actually rushed over to help her, and she bumbled and fumbled and thanked him before the three of them stood in awkward silence.

"Well, thank you for lunch, Sheriff," Regina said with a stiff nod.

"Yep. See ya."

Emma hightailed it out of there and Regina smiled at Robin, who smiled back even though it was clearly fake.

"So it seems you're feeling better," he said.

"Yes, somewhat. The nausea has been traded in for other issues, but I'm okay."

He nodded and they looked at each other. Regina knew that he wanted to ask what he'd heard her say to Emma, but he was too polite to inquire.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out. "It seems like you keep walking in on Emma and me being inappropriate but I was just teasing her."

It was hardly an explanation, but Robin was clearly satisfied with it because his smile became genuine.

"It's all right," he said. "I understand. She's your best mate. We all need mates."

It took Regina an embarrassingly long moment to realize that he was using 'mate' to mean 'friend,' and not 'mate' like 'life partner.' It disturbed and confused her that her mind would even go there.

"Yes, well…" She stepped a little closer to him and realized that his smell hadn't sent her running for the toilet. He smelled…clean. Not like forest but like dryer sheets and mild soap. "I'm not nauseous around you."

He grinned and said, "Granny has allowed Roland and I free room and board at her inn for a few days and I took several showers in the hopes that I might not offend your senses."

Something in Regina's heart melted just a little, and she reached out and cupped his cheeks.

"You're definitely not offending my senses."

"I'm very glad of that."

His eyes looked hopeful that maybe she might make the leap from being happy that smelling him didn't make her puke to inviting him to make his visit a bit more permanent. She caressed his cheek again.

"Robin, I want you to know that I am thinking about your request to move in here. I haven't forgotten it and I'm not avoiding it. It's just…"

"Just?"

"I've never done this before," she admitted. "I've never lived with someone, other than my parents and my son. Never a partner. Even when I was married to the king, we slept in separate rooms on opposite sides of a massive castle. I've never had to share my space, my life, with someone before. And to be honest, the thought scares me."

"That is not what I intended at all," he said, and he tentatively touched her waist and pulled her closer. "I simply wanted to be of assistance to you and I'd like to spend more time with you. If the thought of my moving here makes you uncomfortable, then we can forget I ever mentioned it. I'll make due with visiting you and being available whenever you need. And look!" He eagerly reached into his pocket and produced an ancient cell phone. "I even got one of those mobile devices so you can call me."

Regina laughed genuinely and leaned in to kiss him.

"You're a sweet man," she said. "And I don't deserve you, but I'm glad you're here."

"As am I."

They spent the rest of the afternoon together and then had dinner with Roland and Robin in something that felt very much like a family dinner. Regina enjoyed it, and it seemed like even Henry liked it, as he liked having a little brother to follow him around and play games with. When Robin and Roland finally left and Regina told Henry good night, she found herself resting on her bed, replaying the day. She smiled when she thought of her interactions with all her boys, and she looked around her big room that she'd had to herself for 30 years and wondered if it would be so bad to share it with someone.

Robin was kind, thoughtful and truly wanted to be there for her. She should have been jumping at the chance to have him be closer to her, but she was hesitating. And she could admit to herself that it was more than the fear of sharing her life with someone. Before she could think better of it, she pulled out her phone and texted Emma.

Do you think I should let Robin move in with me?

She bit her lip and felt more anxious that she thought she would. There was an uncomfortable tightening in her stomach when Emma answered.

that's up to u

Regina rolled her eyes.

Yes, thank you for the astute observation that my life choices are my own. I'm asking for your opinion, moron.

y?

Why am I asking?

yeah

That made Regina hesitate. Why was she asking? And why was she asking Emma?

Because although I will deny it to the ends of the Earth, I suppose one could construe you as my friend and friends discuss this sort of thing, don't they?

wow, one could construe us as friends, huh? i can see y ur social calendar is so busy

Would you stop being obtuse and answer my question?

i think if ur having to ask me if u should do it, then u don't really want him to move in w/u.

It was a sobering answer, and one that Regina had already known before she asked the question. She frowned, wondering if she was destined to ruin every good thing that happened to her, when Emma sent her another message.

u know it's ok, right? u just met the dude. u don't have to let him move into ur house. this isn't the enchanted forest. u don't have to profess ur undying love just bc he's supposedly ur soulmate

Supposedly?

u know i think all that stuff is stupid

And what if he's the baby's father?

what if he is? then u can think about it again after the baby's born

Regina read her messages a few times and felt a little guilty at how relieved she was that Emma was confirming what she felt, that it was too fast for this sort of commitment, baby or not.

Ok. Thanks.

welcome

Regina put her phone away and started to get ready for bed. After a bath and her nightly routine, she checked her phone one last time and saw another message from Emma.

and those exercises i was telling u about are called kegels

What exercises?

for ur PUSSY

Regina tossed her head back and laughed so loudly that Henry stuck his head into the room.

"What's funny?" he asked.

"Nothing, dear, I'm sorry," she said, even as she continued to laugh.

"Wow, I don't think I've ever seen you laugh that hard."

"It's your ridiculous mother," she told him. "She's a nitwit."

Henry grinned and said, "right. Night, Mom."

"Good night, darling."

She looked down at her phone and laughed again.

You're an idiot.

u love me

Regina bit her lip, still smiling, and thought that yeah, maybe she did.