I do not own these characters, Marvel and Sony do.

New York is bathed in a orange, gold glow from the setting sun, as modern skyscrapers reach the clouds in an attempt to be the tallest.

A refreshing breeze can be felt on my face, and in the distance below, the traffic can be heard.

Something about this calms me.

I take a deep breath, absorbing the beauty, and run a hand through my short, brown hair.

Looking down at myself, I spot the red and blue spandex suit I am wearing, with patterns of webbing across the red and a symbolic spider in the middle.

It is covered with rips and is turned black from smoke from the previous fights I had stopping robbers and house fires.

It feels unusual to be back fighting crime after the months I was away.

I know I needed that break, I'm just not sure I made a good decision starting again, I'm not sure I'm ready to move on, but for the sake of the city, I did it anyway.

After what happened with Gwen I needed to stop being Spiderman and even though it has been a while, everything I say, and everything I do, brings me back to when she was alive.

I just wish things could go back to the way they were, but for that to happen, Gwen would have to be breathing.

She was the love of my life and whenever I think about her, or the incident, it leaves tears in my eyes.

I sigh in defeat, realising that no matter what, I will never be able to forget her.

As a single tear rolls down my face I try to stop myself from thinking about it too much, it's a beautiful night, and I don't want to ruin it.

A sudden scream leaves me jumping to my feet.

I grab my red mask and put it on.

My mask gives me confidence, also it lets me hide my true broken self.

I am not afraid to admit it, I am depressed.

After loosing the one person you love, who wouldn't be?

Especially if all you seem to be able to do is blame yourself, but when I am wearing the mask, I am not broken Peter Parker, I am the joke loving, Amazing Spider-man.

I leap off the building, enjoying the free falling before, at the last minute, catching myself using the specially designed web shooters I invented and swinging away.

I make my way towards the cry for help and do an occasional flip in the air.

When I arrive I spot a man all in black and a young women trying her best to keep her distance from him.

I perch myself on top of a wall and take a minute to watch the scene.

"Just give me the bag and I won't hurt you," the man threatened with gritted teeth.

I decide now is as good a time as any to interfere.

"Hey, creepy, robber person, why would she want to give the bag to you? I know your a mugger, or whatever, but that doesn't mean you can tell her what to do."

The woman looks up at me startled but, when she notices my costume, her eyes fill with fear.

Ever since last week, when Spider-man returned, people have been saying I was the one that murdered Captain Stacy and Gwen.

The police have even started shooting at me again, it will only be a matter of time before they manage to hit me.

The mugger gets so scared, he trips on his feet and falls backwards.

I can not help but snort at that.

"Okay, now that was easier than expected," I say, webbing him to the ground before he has the chance to get back up.

The woman stares at her shoes, afraid I might do something to her.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you," she looks up at me in confusion, but nods and scurries out of the alleyway.

I quickly jump back in the air and swing away.

I reach my peaceful neighbourhood and swing directly into the open window of my house.

Closing the window, I look around seeing the dirty clothes, spread across the room that I'm too lazy to clean up.

"Peter is that you?" a familiar voice calls out from downstairs.

"Uh, yeah it's me Aunt May," I reply.

I hear her feet on the wooden floor boards moving towards my direction, "Can I come in?"

"Wait, just give me a couple of seconds," I say hopping on one foot, trying to put some clothes ontop of my suit.

"Ok," I call out after unlocking my door.

Aunt May opens the door and steps inside, frowning at the clothes scattered around.

"You should clean your room you know," I grin sheepishly, "do you want any dinner? I'm making spaghetti."

"No thank you, I'm not really hungry," I respond quietly, already knowing what she is going to say next.

"Peter, you haven't eaten anything in days, you can't live like this," concern is showing in her voice, and I feel bad about worrying her, but I am just not hungry, or maybe I just ignore the hunger.

I sigh, "I'm going to go to bed, goodnight Aunt May."

"Goodnight Peter," she silently walks downstairs.

I sigh once more, deciding what to do now, it's 7:00pm, might as well try to get some sleep.

I jump onto my bed, not bothering to change into my pyjamas.

"Goodnight Gwen," I whisper before I close my eyes and let dark, peace take over, or something like that anyway.

I'm at a clock tower, it's dusty brick walls layered in moss are way to familiar.

Looking down between the falling gears and parts I notice a woman, she is gorgeous, with straight blond hair and sky blue eyes.

Gwen.

Sadness, fear, doubt and something else, regret, it is all clearly visible on her face.

Everything is in slow motion, I shoot a web and watch as it moves.

It reaches out and grabs her before she hits the ground, but it's too late.

Her lifeless body hangs as I land next to her.

I sit there as I let tears cascade down my face, it's happening all over again.

Captain Stacy steps out of the shadows with a disappointed expression.

"Why didn't you save her? Why didn't you listen?!" his voice is rising with each word.

"I... I tried, I couldn't," I whisper, more trying to convince myself than anyone else.

"All you do is kill."

"no."

"Uncle Ben, me and now Gwen. You didn't even try and save us."

"No, no, I didn't want this to happen. I loved Gwen, I would never want her dead."

"The world is better off without you, nobody would miss you anyway, just give up, again."

"No, no! NO!"

With a sudden jolt I find myself back in my bedroom sitting on my bed.

My heart is racing and my face is pale.

Why won't this nightmare ever go away, every time I sleep, every time I close my eyes, even every time I blink, I see her falling.

I sink my head into my pillow and cry all night long as I fail to sleep.