8.. …but I'm made to ignore the universe when I see you

You've been walking around with a dark cloud
hanging over every step you take
Like the slightest breeze will knock you to your knees
doing your best not to break
Wish I had the words to tell ya, but I got an umbrella
And I think it's big enough, for the both of us
I'll face that wind by your side
Even take on that rain, I don't mind,
Or give you space or give you time,
If you need me to,
But I'll be here for you
After the storm blows through

It's week three in the world post-Izaya, and his death is no longer news. For some reason, everyone seems to have forgotten about the whole ordeal completely, and everything keeps on as before.

Only three weeks, and it's already enough for Shizuo to know that he doesn't know how to live a peaceful life, and, truth be told, he doesn't want to.

He's been waiting for three weeks, forcing himself to remain still instead of going to Shinjuku to track that bastard down, but he's beginning to get anxious.

On the last night of week three, Shizuo returns to his apartment to find a very alive Izaya sitting on the couch.

"Hello, Shizu-chan." He greets, smiling at him. "Long time no see."

"You fucking…" Shizuo lunges forward even before he can think about what he's doing; the familiar urge to kill the other man bursts in his stomach and expands through his body as he chases Izaya around the tiny apartment. "I'm going to kill you!"

Izaya jumps from the couch to the table and then to the counter, laughing loudly all the way.

"Oh, Shizu-chan, how I missed you!" He spins around and jumps on Shizuo, taking him by surprise and sending them both toppling backwards onto the couch.

Shizuo stays very still, laying under Izaya, breathing hard and glaring at him through half-lidded eyes.

"I thought you were fucking dead." He accuses.

Izaya laughs again, sitting up and straddling him.

"Did you feel betrayed?"

Yes. Shizuo thinks.

"Did you find the guy that tried to kill you?" He asks instead.

Izaya scoffs, shrugging.

"Didn't have to. Tsukumoya found him for me."

Shizuo raises an eyebrow.

"What happened was…"

"I don't really care." Shizuo closes his eyes and leans his head back on the cushions, suddenly tired.

Izaya jumps off him and stands up.

"I'm going to tell you anyways." He starts walking around the room, voice picking up speed and volume as he goes on. "As much as I hate to admit it, I had no idea of who could have tried to kill me, but I knew Tsukumoya did. Obviously, being the douchebag that he is, he was not going to tell me without asking for anything in return, and I was not going to pay for information on my own murder! You understand, ne, Shizu-chan? That would be ridiculous!" He laughs as he walks, Shizuo remains with his eyes closed, listening, but understanding very little. "So, I forced Tsukumoya into a situation of which the only way out was telling me who the person was, by making him believe I thought it was him, and acting accordingly. Oh, how wonderful it was!" He laughs hysterically for a while, and when he stops, he continues without a pause. "You should have read his mail! He gave me everything, everything! And all I had to do is frame him a little. Some people get too scared of the law, Shizu-chan, not that it's your case."

Suddenly, Izaya jumps on his stomach, knocking the air out of him and forcing him to open his eyes and look at him.

"Oi, what the…"

"Aren't I clever, Shizu-chan? Ne?"

Aren't you proud? He seems to be asking. He looks younger than he is, or maybe he's always looked older, and he looks as young as he is for the first time. Whatever it is, Shizuo can't look away.

"It must be really hard being in your head, flea."

Izaya smiles, descending until he's straddling his waist again.

"You didn't come looking for me." Izaya says, voice barely above a whisper.

Shizuo shrugs.

"You said I should wait."

Izaya, for a moment, seems absolutely surprised, and Shizuo, for the first time, wants to tell him everything; he wants to tell him that he's discovered that he doesn't know how to live when Izaya's not there to ruin his life. He wants to tell him how amazing he thinks he is, how amazed he is at every plan and every plot, even if he never agrees and they always piss him off. He wants to tell him that he's sure that if Izaya used that brain of his for good, he could change the world.

But he doesn't know how, so he says nothing.

"You know, Shizu-chan, your eyes are incredibly expressive."

"Are they?"

"Yeah." Izaya looks at him, pensive. "I actually like it this way. If you speak only with your eyes, then it means only I can know what you're thinking."

"I speak, louse."

Izaya laughs and leans in, resting his forehead against the blonde's.

"You say a lot more when you say nothing, Shizu-chan." He closes his eyes and stays very still, forcing himself to say what he wants to, at least this time. "I told you to wait and you waited. I needed to fight my battles and you stood behind me, doing nothing but block my way in case I wanted to turn around and run." He takes a deep breath and opens his eyes, crimson orbs staring right at the man under him. "You have no idea of what you've done, monster."

"I don't care who that Tsukumoya is." Shizuo says, eyes fixed on Izaya's. "I don't care who tried to kill you and I don't care what happens to any of them. I could kill them all if I had to, and then there would only be me and you. You want me to say something, I-za-ya-kun? Here's something: for me there's always been only me and you."

The air between them is a thin layer of ice, and the softest sound could crack it and make them both free-fall into frozen water.

"There's a war coming." Izaya whispers, lips brushing Shizuo's as he speaks. "A war you know nothing about, that will change everything. And then… "He closes his eyes again, taking a deep breath. "And then, when I've won, I'll be our turn. You and I, Shizu-chan, will show this world the greatest battle it's ever seen."

Shizuo's lips curve into a grin Izaya knows by heart.

"I like the sound of that. You sure you'll be alive at the end of that war you talk about, though?"

Izaya opens his eyes and stares at him, offended.

"I would never let you down like that, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo knows that's the one thing Izaya would never do.

"And then what?" The blonde asks in a whisper.

"The winner gets to choose if the other leaves or stays… forever."

They stare at each other in silence, as many times before, and silence becomes their sanctuary and their promise.

Shizuo nods but says nothing, and he knows he doesn't need to.

He realizes that he likes it; having someone else understand what he means without having to struggle to find the right words to say it.

"What now?" He asks.

Izaya burrows his face in the crook of his heck, stretching his legs and moving slightly into a more comfortable position, and closes his eyes.

"Now we sleep. These past weeks have drained me, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo wraps his arms around the waist of the smaller man and closes his eyes. He knows Izaya won't be there in the morning, but it doesn't bother him too much. Their time will come, eventually, as he did this time, he'll just wait until Izaya gets tired of playing god and comes back.

As he falls asleep, Izaya thinks about the fact that Shizuo never tried to find the man that tried to kill him, and never asked who he was, even now that Izaya knows.

Weeks ago, he might have thought that it was just because he hated him and didn't care what happened to his life. Now he knows the truth, and he hates his monster a little less.

"Thank you, Shizu-chan."

.

I'm a riser
I'm a get up off the ground, don't run and hider
Pushing comes a-shovin'
Hey I'm a fighter