8

Sirius stayed with Hermione that night.

He tucked her into her bed, making sure she was safely covered within the confines of her bed before turning to Padfoot and lying on the foot of her bed.

Her feet found Sirius' fur and were buried in them. It was a relaxing sensation. Peaceful in its innocence and proximity to her. Peaceful, because her breath didn't have traces of tears anymore, and in its stead was the steady rhythm of sleep.

Peaceful because the room smelled like her, and nothing else, and Sirius would die a happy man if he were to drown in it.

With that thought he knew he was absolutely doomed. It was a new sort of veil to fall into.

The awareness of the fact that he would have whatever she came to him with didn't break his peace. Neither did the fact that he cared about her happiness more than being with her.

Oh, he would take her as his woman, a decision made for him before he was aware of it himself. But if she wanted it to be just this, moments like this they shared, he'd have her anyway.

There were no questions or doubts in his mind about that. He didn't have fears of losing her, because he wouldn't.

He loved her.

And love, he realised, wasn't a bargaining chip. It wasn't an understanding, a promise nor an agreement.

Bother that it came with the seething jealousy over the fact that someone else had been with her just a few hours ago, but, fuck that. It was him that she was poking holes on the ribcage of with her tiny feet.

Sirius liked the person he was for her.

It was a good place to start.

He heard him again when Hermione and Harry were at work.

The coward had picked the time he'd be alone, and Sirius wasn't sure if he should be grateful or angry about that. Hermione could soothe him after hearing that slimy voice, but he supposed it was better that Harry wasn't around.

Sirius didn't think he'd be able to hide his anger nor his frustration.

Peter Pettigrew.

The rat had begged and cried until Sirius started to throw reductos all around the place, not even thinking about the damage. He had whined and cried until Lily's voice was louder than his, until James and Remus' voices took his place in his mind. Even then Sirius hadn't been able to stop. He had almost destroyed the drawing room completely but somehow hadn't.

He heard a crack and saw Kreacher popping into existence. Sirius flinched when he saw the House-Elf, thinking his mother would be right around the corner with a punishment of some sort but the senseless fear ebbed out when logic and time caught up with him. The House-Elf didn't look at him, and Sirius didn't hear Kreacher's mutterings for the voices of Lily, Remus and James were too loud. He barely registered the furniture's being repaired.

He still sat down on the comfortable sofa that just was repaired and sagged.

He didn't notice Harry standing there until he heard his voice.

"What the fuck happened here?"

Sirius' lift his head and looked at Harry, standing by the door with a small box in his heads.

"How are you, kiddo?" he asked automatically.

The look that Harry threw at him as a pillow flew before them to return its place made Sirius laugh. He knew he sounded crazy, but he laughed anyway.

Stop it! Sirius, you are worrying Harry! Stop th-

Hush, Lils.

"Yes, hush Lily," Sirius said, and Harry jumped, forcing Sirius to look at him. He registered that he had talked aloud, and Harry… Harry looked scared. He looked like the little boy he had seen years ago.

"What did you say?" he asked in a small voice.

"Nothing, Harry. It's nothing," Sirius tried.

"You said Lily," Harry said. "You said, hush Lily." Sirius shook his head. Where was the damn firewhiskey? "Are you hearing voices?"

Sirius shook his head again.

"Don't lie to me," Harry hissed and sat next to Sirius. "You are hiding something, I know. You are distracted, you are distant. I know you are trying. I know Hermione helps. But-"

"It's nothing you should worry about," Sirius cut him off.

"I don't care if you think I should worry about or not," Harry hissed. "What? Do you think I'll judge you? Or that I'll lock you up in St. Mungo's or something? Do you think you are the only one that hears voices, or-" The lad sighed and messed his hair with his hand. It hurt seeing a gesture so like James. It hurt hearing Lily exhale with wonder, no wonder thinking the same thing, in his own head. "I spent all my second year hearing voices that turned out to be a damn Basilisk. Ginny, the same year, carried a teenage Voldemort in her head." Sirius couldn't help but flinch at the reminder of what that girl went through. "I had a bloody Horcrux in me that connected me to him Sirius; tell me what the fuck is going on!"

"It's the Veil," Sirius said rushing the words unless he stopped himself. "It's… I don't know if they are real, mate. Since the Veil, I hear voices and, I am learning to live with it."

"Does Hermione know?"

Sirius nodded and Harry mirrored the same action.

"Good." Sirius looked up at Harry, surprised. "What? She knows how to deal with it, what can I say? She took care of me, I know she took care of Ginny, too. She'll do the same for you. She is highly logical, and that helps when nothing makes sense."

Sirius nodded.

"Yeah, she helps," he admitted.

They watched as Kreacher continued to fix the drawing room up.

"So, what happened to this place?" Harry asked waving his hand in the general direction of everything Sirius managed to damage.

"I hear Pettigrew, too."

Harry jumped again and turned to him. He licked his lips.

Neither said anything for a while and then Kreacher, having finished the repairs, disappeared with a crack.

"Have I ever told you how he died?"

Sirius was glad that Hermione came a bit late that evening for several reasons.

He was glad that he had a chance to talk to Harry, but more so because it gave him some to collect himself after the tale Harry had told him.

"In the end, he died for me, too," Harry had said. "Or rather, because of me."

Sirius couldn't find it in himself to feel bad or forgiving because of that. He didn't think Harry did, either. It was disturbing, in fact. The little flicker of humanity, that little flicker of what Peter had been when he was their friend, that was what Sirius mourned for. Not that he had died, but he had been lost when he was alive. The cheery chubby lad that went dark.

When Hermione had returned Sirius was already in his room, hiding out. He turned to Padfoot even, to hear even better what the other occupants of the townhouse were up to. He heard the sounds of dinner being eaten, he heard Harry tell Hermione that he had finally finished his work and wouldn't be returning to the Law Enforcement again, he heard Hermione talk about her day...

Sirius didn't go out until he knew he was feeling better. Until he knew that he could see Hermione to fulfil his promise to her. Together.

Carefully starting out this thing all over again: Together.

"I wish I could read your mind when you are thinking like this."

Hermione turned to Sirius, her eyes big as saucers. He grinned and walked towards her, sitting next to her on the settee that became theirs. He reached into his pockets and took a box of candies. He popped one into his mouth and offered her to take a piece or two.

She carefully peeked inside the box and took one, and put it into her mouth, her hand touching her lips. Sirius stared, not even trying the hide that he did.

They didn't talk. Sirius leaned back and flexed his shoeless feet before himself, and Hermione collected hers under her bum, slippers discarded on the floor, and a book on her lap remaining unread.

The window was open, and soft late summer breeze filled the library, moving her hair around her face.

Sirius didn't know how long they sat there, next to each other, without touching but only an inch apart from each other.

"I was thinking of moving," Hermione said when the sun finally sat outside.

Sirius looked at her. She wasn't looking at him, though. Her eyes were fixed on the wall, watching the painting of a librarian moving around painted bookshelves, unaware of her fixed stare.

"Stay," he said and Hermione's head snapped up to look at him. She looked confused.

They continued to look at each other. She didn't say anything and he didn't avert his eyes.

"Okay," she whispered after a while, and Sirius' heart soared.

This was it. Okay, she had said. Okay.

He recalled when her lips dropped his name that night, like sugar on a hard liquor, burning him sweetly.

Okay.

Sirius.

He smiled, and only then she started to laugh.

"Why?" she asked in between her disastrous laughs that made no sense. Tears welled up in her eyes.

Sirius leaned and covered her shoulders with his arm, pulling her towards himself. He placed a kiss on her head, inhaling the scent of her hair and allowed it to excite him.

"You know why."

Hermione nodded and raised her head so to meet his eyes. He welcomed them with his. She didn't hide her tears and knowing that she allowed herself to be out there when with him felt like a victory. He reached and caught a drop with his thumb, wanting to taste it, barely holding himself not to.

"Slowly," she asked of him. It could have been an order, but it sounded like a plea. Why did he enjoy it so much?

"Slowly," he agreed and pushed a hair that it was not really out of place gently with his fingertips. He wanted to put a kiss right under her eye, right on the apple of her cheek, and another right on the top of her nose. He wanted to put a kiss on the bow of her lips, and the meatiest part of her bottom one. He wanted to kiss that freckle right below her ear that he only recalled by memory because more often than not, it was hidden behind her hair. He wanted to kiss where her throat ended and met with her collarbones.

Hermione snuggled him, then. Her arm wrapped around his waist and her face pressed against his chest.

It burned his skin.

Sirius wanted to grab her harder, squeeze her shoulders until there was no part of them not touching -until it hurt. Instead, he kept his arm around her tight, but relaxed. He took deep breaths and did not straighten his posture. He remained right there, within the moment, so not to break it.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with my life, Sirius," Hermione said with a barely heard exhale.

"You are going to go to work, tomorrow," he whispered to her. "I've read your notes, Hermione. And Percy's. You guys are doing great. It's happening. People are listening. You realise that, don't you?"

Sirius waited for her to nod.

"So you are going to go to work, and for that nine hours you are there, you will take a break every one and a half hour, and get a lunch right in the middle of the day. I know you like that café near the ministry. So go there, take Percy with you; I know you enjoy his boring rhetoric about the importance of your job. He is good for you, love, he brings that fire in you that wants to help those children. I'm glad you are working with him."

She sighed contently. "You are right, he does," she said and then giggled. "He bores you to death, though."

Sirius chuckled. "He has no reservations when it comes to business talk," he admitted. Then he reached and rubbed her shoulder softly, soothingly. "Then go back, and finish your day. Take your breaks. Come home.

"I'll make you dinner when you rest and refresh, and then we'll eat together with Harry. I'll tell you a story about my Hogwarts years, and we'll laugh. We'll let Harry ask thousands of little details about Lily and James. As I answer his questions we'll get a little sad sometimes, but I suppose that's okay."

Hermione was looking at him again with serious eyes that warmed his body.

"Then you'll run and hide here," he continued telling her her tomorrow. "Like you do every night, and pick a book that is your guilty pleasure. I'll turn to Padfoot and lay under your feet so you can put your little feet over my fur." He grinned like a dog. "I know you like how it tickles your feet." Hermione laughed and hid her face against his chest again. "And I promise, love, I'll pretend not to notice you are reading the cheesiest romance novel known to mankind."

Hermione snorted at that but didn't lift her head from his chest. "You make it sound so easy."

"I know it isn't," Sirius said. "But, slowly, it will be."

Hello!

This chapter came a bit late, I know.

Regardless, thank you all who reviewed, followed and favourited this story. You all are amazing. Your support means everything.

On the other hand, there is something I have to say.

- serious Synoir mode: enabled -

I had planned never to delete a review but I have done so for this story. I will never allow any review that lays judgment on lifestyles, I will never allow people to bash or use harmful words against people's choices in life. I will not take the risk of a reader of mine seeing their lifestyle has been bad-mouthed with words like "whoring around." Any reviews that have derogatory terms will be definitely deleted.

To be simple; do not condemn things when consent is involved. You like to sleep around, do so. You do not like to sleep around, then do not sleep around. But do not call people sluts or prudes for neither. It's their life.

Please be respectful to each other, and consider that you are putting your views for everyone to see. One comment you make for a character can also be an attack towards someone else who happens to see this.

- serious Synoir mode: disabled -

Now that's out of the way, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

I love you, with your choices and all!

Synoir