Chapter 1

"All right, Leo. We're gonna try it again, okay?"

The blue-banded turtle gritted his teeth and nodded, heaving himself off of the special wheelchair Donnie had rigged up. But even with Donnie's help, he was barely able to stand for more than thirty seconds - much less walk the few feet he was supposed to walk. Hot tears stung his eyes and he collapsed back into the chair.

"It's no use, Donnie. I'm never gonna be able to walk again."

There was pain on the genius's face as Leo said that. Across the room, Raph sighed. The events of Leo's attempted suicide had caused damage in more ways than one. The eldest was emotionally shattered, and the lack of oxygen to his brain had left him with little to no motor control in his lower half. Most days he was barely able to move his toes. Donnie had told him that, with a little (a lot) of physical therapy, he'd be back on his feet in no time.

So far, that hadn't happened.

"You can't give up hope, dude," Mikey said, placing a sympathetic hand on Leo's shoulder. "You'll walk again. I know you will. It's just gonna take time."

"How much time?!" Leo asked sharply, jerking away. "How much time, Mikey? I've been stuck in this stupid chair for almost a month and I haven't made any progress whatsoever! I-I'm useless!"

"You're not useless. You just gotta get back on your feet, is all." The freckled ninja suddenly realized what he'd said and his face drained of color. "Oh, jeez. Leo, I didn't mean-"

"Forget it." Leo turned, his eyes shining with ill-concealed tears, and wheeled away into the dojo. The paper door slammed shut a second later.

Donnie let out a long breath and sat down on the couch, dragging a hand down his face. "He's not getting any better, guys," he admitted quietly.

"He's more volatile than I am now," Raph agreed.

A sad look appeared on Mikey's face. "What are we gonna do? He's just gonna keep spiraling into this...this...darkness. If it keeps going, he'll just try to kill himself again."

The two older brothers winced at his bold wording. But they knew he was right. "It doesn't help when he talks to me," Donnie said. "He's withholding a lot of information from me. I think he's really embarrassed about what he tried to do."

Raph crossed his arms. "Or he's embarrassed that he got caught."

"I still can't believe we never noticed he was in such a bad place," the youngest murmured. "If we'd seen this coming, we could've...I don't know...changed it somehow. Kept him from going." His lower lip quivered. "This is all my fault."

Donnie's gaze snapped to him. "What do you mean?"

"I-I stopped him one day a week or so before it happened. Told him he seemed kind of sad. He just brushed it off. But maybe if I had pushed him a little more he would've opened up. I-I walked away, guys. I could've helped him then. But I walked away."

"Aw, Mike..." The resident hothead slipped an arm around Mikey's trembling shoulders. "This is no more your fault than it is mine or Donnie's. All of us had plenty of opportunity to see what was going on. We all turned a blind eye. We didn't pay attention because it was Leo, and Leo was strong. He could handle anything."

"Not anymore," Mikey whispered. "How did he get so...so broken, Raph? How did he fall so far and none of us ever notice? What kind of family are we if we don't notice that our own brother is in that much pain?"

"I-I don't know, Mikey. I don't know."