Final chapter.

With thanks to those who have read and left their thoughts. Always appreciated.

Chapter Four:

Their mission was straightforward and completed without complication. A couple of nights away from the complex tops just as Natasha had said.

They've been back three days now.

Bucky still hasn't called Alex. Instead he stares at his phone when he thinks no one is paying attention to him and has second thoughts as well as third and fourth and very likely fifth ones too. Tells himself to call her or even just to send her a damned text, to make contact. It's not that hard to do, hell he was the one who did that the first time by showing up at the bar like he did. What's so hard about this time?

Because this time he's more nervous. This time there was a kiss involved and damn it, there's that word again; nervous. She makes him a little edgy and he hates it. He's never nervous, never, preferring to block the emotion behind a solid wall and just move onwards, use it to his advantage and call it something else but this time he can't escape from the realisation that he is nervous as hell and it's Alex who makes him feel this way.

So he's spent these three days talking himself out of calling her, from making contact even though every fibre of his being wants to see her and talk to her again. He keeps finding excuses not to; his past, his history, the nightmares, his job. What if he hurts her? What if he doesn't measure up to her expectations because he knows that she'll have some. He's tied up in knots and almost paralysed with nerves.

What if she's just being polite?

But she kissed you first.

God, since when did you turn into a teenage boy?

Since Alex Wells kissed you, idiot.

He hasn't been able to get that kiss out of his mind since. How it felt, how it made him feel, how she felt in his arms, smelled, tasted, it tumbles around and around inside of his head.

He sighs.

Perhaps the safest and best thing to do right now is to walk away before anyone gets hurt, before any real harm is done.

"Hey."

Bucky flinches, lifts his head and sees Steve lower himself down onto the leather sofa beside him.

"Who's winning that argument you're having inside of your head?" he asks.

"Hey," Bucky murmurs and leans back and pockets his phone again "And no one. No argument."

Steve observes him silently.

"What?" Bucky demands, his tone razor sharp.

For a moment Steve still doesn't answer. "You gonna call her or what?" he then asks.

"Call who?"

Eye roll.

"Alex."

The look Bucky sends him is dark, cautionary, a very plain warning of mind your own business.

"Because that's who you were with when I had to call you in earlier in the week and it's why you've been staring at your phone like it's gonna blow up in your hand ever since."

"You don't know what you're talkin' about," Bucky scoffs, shaking his head, beginning to get to his feet, wanting to move away from this topic of conversation literally as well as metaphorically.

"Maybe I don't but the guy I knew wouldn't let the grass grow under his feet, not for someone like Alex."

Irritation flares.

"Yeah well newsflash Steve, I'm not the guy you used to know anymore."

"I know. I miss him sometimes."

Bucky freezes at the starkly spoken confession and looks at him once more. For a moment his thoughts empty and he sits back down again.

"I wish I could remember him," he then whispers and hears Steve's quiet, somewhat ragged sigh.

"He's in there Buck, deep down. I keep catchin' glimpses of him beneath the surface and there are times when I think, there he is, there's my buddy but then he's gone again."

"And you're left with me," Bucky finishes and Steve hears the bitterness in his voice. Swallows against it.

"That's not what I meant. You're here and you're under no one's control any more. I know it's not gonna be like it used to be, I'm not that stupid but you're here, you're alive." He reaches across and grips his shoulder in that familiar somewhat affectionate manner of his. Bucky looks across at him, sees the sincerity in his eyes.

"And anyway, you obviously like her, your Alex so you should get in touch with her, see where it goes." He lowers his hand when he hears his friend sigh loudly.

"She's not mine, she's not my anythin' and where it goes? I'm a basket case Steve, with more than a few bolts loose inside of my head. What kinda prospect does that make me for anyone?" His voice becomes sharp again as he taps the side of his head.

"Maybe we're both just better off not getting…involved," he mutters with a frown.

"And if you believed that then you wouldn't be agonising over it," Steve reminds him.

"And maybe just once you should mind your own goddamn business," Bucky retorts, this time getting to his feet and striding out of the room.

"I gotta do somethin' Sam," Steve sighs in discontent as he hands him a bottle of water.

"What you gotta do is mind your own business like he asked," Sam responds, taking it from him and unscrewing the top. Watches his friend take a drink of his own.

Steve lowers the bottle and sighs in discontent. They're in the gym which is on the floor above an Olympic sized swimming pool. A floor to ceiling window separates both places and he looks down at the sole occupant who cuts through the azure blue water with ease, without slowing down. Bucky. He's been swimming for the past forty five minutes, lap after lap, showing no signs of stopping. Steve watches him as he reaches the end of one lap and then turn, pushing away from the side with his feet and propelling himself back the way he came, almost completing half a lap underwater before surfacing. Doesn't break rhythm, doesn't stop. Remembers that he was a strong swimmer, an all-star athlete back in the day, before everything that's happened. One of the benefits of super soldier serum now, you just don't know when to quit.

He then glances back at Sam.

"I can't," he confesses and then takes another drink. Looks back as Bucky completes yet another lap.

"Has he even come up for air yet?" Sam mutters, watching him swim. He then turns his head and looks at Steve. "So what are you gonna do?"

"Go and see Alex. Talk to her, or at least try. She might not want to listen."

"You do realise that if Bucky finds out he's not gonna be happy. I'm also gonna remind you that as a former assassin, murder is his business and he's damned good at it. He might not say a hell of a lot but even I don't enjoy being on his bad side."

Steve grins and then gives his head a quick shake. "I'll keep your name out of it."

"He'll know anyway, by association. I guess I better start sleepin' with one eye open."

"You think it's a bad idea?"

Sam just shrugs.

"You said you weren't gonna get involved and here you are, gettin' involved."

He sits on a wooden bench beneath the shade of a cherry tree in the grounds of the complex and can feel the gentle warmth of the spring sunshine caress his skin. He tips his face up to it and just absorbs it, listens to the gentle breeze that trickles through the branches, the peaceful shush of new leaves fluttering and dancing and he closes his eyes and smiles gently to himself. He enjoys the quiet these days, absorbing Mother Nature in all her glory, being able to appreciate it and the rare peace of mind it brings him.

He opens his eyes when he hears the distant sound of a door opening and then closing and wonders who's going to sit with him now. He's spent time with both Steve and Sam since their return from their second mission whether he's wanted to or not. His gaze focuses on the figure heading his way. He frowns slightly as she gets closer, his eyesight not so bad that he can't see that it's a she. She's wearing black; jeans and t-shirt and as she gets closer, a leather biker jacket. She's almost a smudge against all of the greenery. Long blonde hair, unbound, caught by the wind, floating and flying on the air for a moment, teased by the gentle breeze and he watches her lift a hand to brush it out of her face. Alex. He doesn't speak, just waits for her to approach him. There's no expression on her face as she lowers herself down onto the bench beside him. He stares at her, briefly gobsmacked by her appearance. Wonders for a single second whether he's hallucinating. How did she know where he was? He then looks back at the main complex and sees the familiar outline of someone standing by one of the large picture windows that offers a view of where he's currently sitting and he understands.

Steve. Of course.

God damn him.

"You said you'd call," she begins, her tone neutral, not looking at him, hands folded on her lap. He turns his head and he looks at her once more.

"I'd ask how you found this place but I have a feeling you had an accomplice."

She glances at him.

Sees Steve standing at the door as she goes to lock it for the night, his hands shoved into the front pockets of his jeans, eyes hopeful.

"Can we talk?" he asks, voice muffled a little from the door that separates them and she chews her bottom lip as she stares at him for the longest moment. Here's the confirmation that she feared; that Bucky is back from the mission and that he's changed his mind about seeing her again. That she scared him off with that kiss. If that was the case, then why send Steve to do his dirty work, she didn't think he was the type to stoop to that kind of behaviour. Steve seems to sense her hesitation because he takes a step closer to the door, filling the space with his presence.

"Please Alex?"

She relents, unlocks the door and opens it and she lets him inside. Tall, blond, muscular, Captain America stands in her bar once more.

"Make it quick, it's late." Deliberately keeps her tone short and to the point even though her heart is pounding and her mouth is uncharacteristically dry.

Makes him coffee in the kitchen, watches him sit at the table. Almost a repeat of their first meeting five years before. She places the white mug in front of him and hears him murmur his thanks. She sits down beside him and she waits for him to explain.

"I did and for what it's worth, he got in contact with me, not the other way around. I don't have his number or yours. You didn't text."

"Still getting used to twenty first century technology."

"And that's bullshit Barnes and you know it." There's no acid or rancour in her voice, just absolute calm conviction and it makes him frown slightly.

"Is it?"

"You know it is. You're scared, I get it."

"Do you? What is it that you think I'm scared of?"

"Kissing me again."

Well damn it, there it is in a nut shell Bucky can't help thinking.

This time she turns in her seat to face him full on.

"You're having second thoughts aren't you? It's been such a long time for you and I get it, I do. You spent seventy years under the control of Hydra as an assassin, seven whole decades where you were tortured, brainwashed, hurt and abused by those around you who turned out to be completely horrific examples of humanity. You got used to any and all contact ending in pain of some kind, physical and emotional because it was used against you to control you and make you into that…machine." She stops and looks down at her hands for a moment. Bucky doesn't respond, just watches her, waits for her to continue because she has plenty more to say, he can sense it. He wonders what Steve has said to her to get her to come here.

"You're not sure whether you trust me or maybe you're not sure whether you can trust yourself anymore." She pauses and looks at him. "Or perhaps you're not sure whether you deserve any chance to be…happier." Stops once more, glances away and frowns, worrying her bottom lip, drops her gaze to her hands again before she inhales, the act of filling her lungs seeming to strengthen her resolve as well as straighten her spine. Returns her attention to him.

"Y'know, after what happened to me, I didn't want to let anyone close enough to me either and then I got so involved with the bar and the other stuff that it just didn't matter, or at least I told myself that it didn't. I thought it was safer, better for me to be by myself. I only trusted a small handful of people after the shooting, I still do."

She watches as he begins to frown.

"You think you've got me all figured out don't you?" Bucky's voice is low, almost fierce in tone. She continues to watch him, her expression strangely unperturbed by this bolt of anger she's getting from him.

"Steve seems to think that you're worth taking a chance on," she tells him, her voice low and any belligerence Bucky was beginning to feel, leaks away and he stares at her with wide surprised eyes. Then he blinks, looks away, shaking his head at the same time.

"Yeah well Steve always tries to see the best in me…" he mutters under his breath.

"Because he believes in you Bucky, he always has and I'm sure he always will," she tells him in a quiet voice.

He doesn't respond and the silence stretches uncomfortably between them. She looks at him, sees the indecision in his eyes, the battle he seems to waging with himself.

"Is this where you tell me that you're not good for me or for anyone? That you're best on your own? Do you think that what you're doing is being all brave and noble and that you're actually doing me a favour?" She waits for him to answer. He just stares back at her obviously a little bewildered by her response.

"Because let me ask you one thing and then if you want me to then I'll leave you alone. Why come back to see me after all this time? I can guess that you're the type of guy who just doesn't look back, that you keep moving forward no matter what. I can imagine that because of your circumstances you've had to, so what's changed now, huh?"

"I told you, I was in the area…." he begins and his words fade away as she starts to shake her head.

"Maybe that's what you keep telling yourself but after five years I don't think that's the reason do you? So try again." She knows when an excuse is being made and she's tired of his bullshit because that's what all of this is. He sighs. Shrugs.

"I don't know," he admits and his expression becomes bleaker. "I just know that I've never forgotten you, not in all the time we were apart. You were kind to me Alex, given who I was, who I am and what I've done, you were always kind and it stuck with me."

"So this has nothing at all to do with feelings beginning to emerge and that now you're no longer on the run that you're allowing yourself the possibility of feeling something else, something more, something above all of the dark stuff you went through. You're telling me that I stuck with you because I was kind?" she enquires, eyes widening. She huffs out a sigh and slowly shakes her head.

"You know what…I don't know why I thought coming here was a good idea. You told me that you wanted to see me again so I waited for you to return from your mission and get in touch. I waited and when a couple of days of silence passed, I began to realise that maybe you'd changed your mind. Until Steve showed up on my doorstep and he suggested that I come to you, thinking a face to face discussion would be better than a phone call but I dunno, maybe I should just…" She goes to get to her feet and almost in a panic Bucky reaches out and grabs her wrist and she stills and looks back at him.

"This is why I didn't call you. I don't know what the hell I'm doin'. I've thought about you a lot over the years and as time passed I got to wonderin' if there was somethin' more or if it was just my mind playin' another trick on me. I like you Alex, I'm just not that good at puttin' my cards on the table." He lets go of her wrist as his voice lowers to a whisper and she hears the pain behind it, sees the anguish in his eyes at his confession. Her expression begins to soften at his stricken look. Their shared kiss wouldn't have helped matters either.

"I like you too Bucky. We shared a kiss, that's all. I don't want you to put any expectations on yourself where I'm concerned. I don't expect you to know what you're doing because I don't know what the hell I'm doing either. You've got a lot of baggage, a lot more than anyone else I could mention. You want to explore this…I don't know what to call it…"

"Attraction?" Bucky supplies and she glances his way, startled somewhat and then smiles faintly.

"Yeah…attraction. You want to explore it but at the same time you're afraid. So am I. The old you would've known what to do, this version of you, doesn't and it's okay, neither do I. Maybe we could explore it together?"

She holds her breath and she waits.

Bucky swallows, drops his gaze as he feels his heart pulse in his chest at her words. Hears her quiet sigh and his eyes flick up to her face again.

"Do you trust me Bucky? Can you be honest with me about that? I can imagine you don't trust all that many people."

"I do trust you Alex, more than some folk," he confesses, feeling his heart begin to rattle in his chest at the admission.

"And do you want me here, because if you don't then I'll go and we can forget this ever happened."

She looks down when she feels his hand cover hers. Looks back into his eyes again.

"I want you here Alex. I do."

Sees her lips tilt with the barest semblance of a smile. He knows that she doesn't quite believe him, on the trust issue or the wanting her around part. Maybe he can change her mind.

"Good."

"But…"

She puts a finger over his mouth and she shakes her head.

"No, you don't get to do that. You don't get to try and scare me off by reminding me what you did, what Hydra did to you, what they made you do because I already know and I'm still here."

She lowers her hand and just regards him steadily. "I'm still here," she repeats.

Bucky stares at her for a moment and then slowly he lifts his right hand and after a brief hesitation, reaches out to her, fingertips brushing her cheek before sliding through her hair, watching the light coloured strands slip through his fingers. She remains absolutely still watching him. He moves closer to her on the bench, dips his head and presses a kiss on her mouth, a careful gentle pressure that's so sweet that she feels her eyes slide shut, her heart bump in her chest at the tender contact. She lifts both hands as she leans into him, palms gently framing his face, fingertips coming into contact with stubble, warm skin. Feels her heart begin to flutter. He draws back and sees her eyes open and focus on his face once more.

"I want you here," he murmurs to her and is rewarded by her soft smile. She lowers her hands, taking both of his.

"Then that's a good place to start," she whispers.

"How's it going out there?"

Sam's voice is loud in the room and it makes Steve flinch. He turns his upper body to look at him, his right hand clutched over his heart.

"Give a guy a little warning why don't you?" he breathes and watches as Sam comes to stand beside him to look out of the window and he smiles when he sees Bucky and Alex walk across the lawn. Alex is talking and Bucky is listening to her, her hand resting in the crook of his right arm.

He grins.

"Damn. I was fully expecting there to be trouble."

"You were hoping more like it. Alex isn't like that. I mean she's tough but she's not…like that," Steve answers, still watching them.

"Well you can quit watching over them like some kinda fairy godfather, they're fine. She's smiling at him, he's actually smiling at her and I don't see any weapons so I think they're good." He slaps a hand on one broad shoulder.

Steve glances at him again.

"You think it's a crazy idea getting her to come over here?"

Sam shrugs. "Maybe, maybe not. You also said you wouldn't interfere and yet you did. Let's wait and see shall we?"

Steve steps away from the window. Sighs.

"I kinda felt responsible, dragging him away from her when I did. I could see he wanted to call her, stared at that damned phone so hard that I thought it was gonna burst into flames."

"Bucky isn't your responsibility, not anymore," Sam reminds him. Steve looks at him, his expression a little bit sad.

"Yeah he is, he always will be."

"And he will tell you otherwise."

"That's true too. We've always looked out for each other but him not talkin' to Alex was makin' him miserable, I had to try somethin'."

"He's gonna kick your ass later, you know that don't you?" Sam reminds him and watches a smile blossom across his face and grin in realisation.

"Wouldn't be the first time he's tried," he confesses. "But I don't regret it."

Sam's expression becomes somewhat softer at that admission.

"I know you don't. Let's get out of here, leave those two alone. I'm not about to babysit a super soldier assassin and his girl."

"Never mind Bucky kicking my ass, I think he's gonna kick yours if he hears you call him that."

"What? Super Soldier assassin? Oh did I forget the ninja part? I did didn't I? And he's gonna have to catch me first to kick my ass…."

Steve chuckles as he follows Sam out of the room, their conversation fading into the ether.

END.