This story came to my mind when I have killed Nagisa so many times. Now it's time for him to suffer. But, he won't be alone. Karma's parents will be there to support him. Like their new son. Please.. Enjoy the pain.

It had already been a week since the funeral was completed. Everything had been silent in the house of Akabane. A day as today was something that usually would be the happiest time of the year. But now… it would never be the same again. Today was the 25th of December, but there was no longer a good reason for celebrating. The usual joy was gone. Only silence was the only thing that was known now. He was all alone in the living room, only sound of the wind outside the windows. The snow was falling along the mild wind.

Nagisa Shiota sat on the coach, which he had known the best of the last week. He had been sitting there the most of the time since he came home from that funeral. One person, whose birthday was today, was no longer by his side. It would ever happen again. His boyfriend, Karma Akabane had died.

The red haired boy would have turned 18 this year, but a plane crash took away his life. Nagisa had been living in his house for a few weeks before Karma went on his journey with his parents. Nagisa stayed at their home because of some problems with his mother. Karma had been away for two weeks before the crash. He was on his way home when it happened. Everything changed with one phone call.

"Karma's plane has crashed!"

That moment was still haunting Nagisa. He remembered how he felt everything around him freeze, while his body started to feel heavy and finally fell to the floor. Karma's uncle called Nagisa that evening. The uncle was the only person, Nagisa was in touch with while Karma and his family was away. The red head did not have much time while he was away. They had had a few conversations over Skype when it was possible.

It was not even planned when Karma was going home with that plane. He was supposed to come home 2 days later, but he wanted to come home earlier. Nagisa still remembered the reason. He was the reason. Karma wanted to have some alone time with his boyfriend and something like that, had never hurt more than it did now.

Even though he had cried a lot already, tears still fell. The thoughts of why Karma was with that plane pained him so agonizing. He felt that it was his entire fault. If Karma had not got on an earlier plane, he would still be here. The pain was so unbearable and Nagisa sobbed up with tears. He almost choked.

Soon after the crash, Karma's parents came home. They had known about the crash from the moment it happened. They were devastated, but both of them knew that the news had broken their son-in-law as hard as themselves. They supported each other and helped Nagisa with the grieving the best way they could. But…

They could not help all the way.

Nagisa had only felt like a burden. He had always felt like that and after the accident, it became worse. Just like now. Nagisa sitting alone in the room, it was his best way of feeling all right and not like a burden. Karma's parents were visiting the grave by the moment. He had been their only son. They were so affected, that they tried to hide it by showing all their love to Nagisa by giving him hugs every day, asking about his day or buy him gifts. This was only making the bluenette suffer more.

After the funeral. Nagisa lost it. He broke down. He was all alone in his room in the Akabane residence. The pain of losing Karma had just become too much for him.

"Never blame yourself. Okay?" They had always said. Even at the funeral, they said it to him because they had always known of his feelings. The burden he felt he was from the beginning, made it fall apart.

Alone in a room, a knife in the hand. It was the only way for him to get rid of all painful feelings inside his head and down to somewhere bearable. The blood became visible in stripes. It fled very slowly down his arm. The wrists were red, but the pain was there and Nagisa felt his heavy head, go light in that moment.

He was now sitting, only looking down on those scars. They reminded him of how he could get rid of the pain. His strategy of getting rid of bad memories. Those memories that used to be the good ones. All those memories he had with Karma, were too much for him. Every time he remembered his smile. That wide grin with sometimes had seem haughty, but also gentle at many other moments. That smile was the worst. It hurt so much. The scars were still red, but they had healed. Nagisa was crying once again. It even hurt crying now. Even if the scars were there to prove that he tried to save himself, it was still hard to move on. It had only been a week.

"Hey! Nagisa!"

Another tear fell.

"We haven't seen each other for a while…"

After the death of Koro-sensei, Karma was the only one, Nagisa ever talked to – so it was how they became close. It was also how they fell in love.

"We have been together for a long time now… I was wondering… If we might be able to do it soon…"

Nagisa smiled sadly at that memory. Karma wanted to have sex with him. They had only been dating for a short time, but it was hard for the red head to hold back. They did it soon after that memory. It was the most amazing time of his life. It is not even a secret that they did it many times after the first time. Karma was wild. Nagisa missed it so much.

"Nagisa! We're home!"

Nagisa pulled down his sleeves to hide the scars on his wrists. He had never told them about it. He did not want to curse more pain. The Akabane parents came into the living room, finding it darkened and hard to see if Nagisa was there. The mother saw him sitting in the coach and walked over to sit beside him. She placed a hand on his shoulder.

"How are you today dear…?" she asked him. She and the father were so kind that it pained him hearing that concerned question. He smiled sadly and shook his head. He could not even lie to them anymore. It hurt even more if he did. The mother embraced him in a hug, trying to warm him. Nagisa just cried heavily again.

Karma's father sat down on the other side of the boy and placed a hand the top of the bluenette's head. Shortly patting him.

The evening ended. The night swallowed the dark into blackness and the crescent moon was the only light source in the night. Nagisa sat in his bed, it was hard for him to be in the same bed as the two of them had been together. Sleeping together. Having sex in. He sighed heavily to himself. He looked out of the window, staring at the glowing moon. He felt less heavy this night compared to the others.

"Nagisa-chan!"

"Don't call me that…"

Sometimes, Nagisa wished he had never gotten angry at Karma for the slightest things. The cross dressing at the least. He wished for the red head to do those things again. If it could bring the boy back, it would be worth it. Nagisa would do anything to get Karma back. Even exchange his life for his.

"I miss you so bad…" he whispered to himself and smiled at the moon for brightening his heart a bit. It shortly felt like Karma was watching him. The bluenette lied down and hid most of his body under the blanket. He watched a tree covered in snow move a bit in the wind. He relaxed more and his eyes became heavy. Fortunately, he fell asleep in a comfortable way.

The next morning the boy was sleeping soundly. He was not dreaming of anything bad. He did dream of Karma. It was common for a person who had lost a loved one, to dream of them for a long time. Nagisa dreamt of a loved memory between him and Karma.

"I love you…" Karma told him and kissed him. They were sitting on the beach in the evening. Watching the sunset, everything was perfect. Karma had invited him to one of his family's private houses and the private beach was perfect for their dinner.

"Love you too, Karma…" Nagisa laughed and enjoyed the soft kisses. The red head pushed him into the carpet and made out with Nagisa. The two of them giggled with the sweetness gleamed out of the moment between them. It was such an enjoyable time.

"Nagisa…" The dreaming Nagisa heard Karma call his name.

"Karma…?" he called out in sleep.

"Nagisa" he groaned a little as the dream faded into darkness and soon he opened his eyes. The figure over him, red hair, male shade was shaking him. Nagisa could not believe it. Karma!? Nagisa jumped up from the bed in a shock.

"Karma!" he exclaimed. His vision came clear and the person in front of him was not Karma. It was Karma's father. A sense of hard disappointment hit him right at that moment.

"Nagisa? I am so sorry… I am not Karma…" the father said in a sad voice. Nagisa just nodded sadly and smiled a bit with his eyes looking down.

"I dreamt of him… so I thought… I'm sorry…" he said. The man in front of him sighed shortly before he sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Don't be… It's okay…" he said with a wry smile and put a hand on top of the boy's head. Nagisa gulped shortly at the touch. He kept silent without moving. "I came to wake you when you had slept for many hours. We thought you might be hungry…" Nagisa looked surprised up at him.

"How long did I sleep?" he asked.

"Well. It's after noon. So you slept pretty long…" Nagisa was shocked, but somehow relieved as well. He had not slept this much since he got the terrible message. He smiled wryly.

"Seems like I got the sleep I needed…" he whispered. Karma's father smiled a little more at that little whispering. He nodded and rose from the bed.

"We prepared something easy to consume. Come down when you're dressed. Okay?" he said and smiled at the bluenette. Nagisa looked up at him shortly, the feeling of being a burden stroke him once again. He nodded and looked down again. The man nodded at the answer and left the room. Nagisa sighed heavily and felt heavy in his body once again. Can I really do this? I am nothing, but a burden to your parents. My mother hasn't even contacted me yet… It hurts. He sighed once again and got out of bed.

The day went on in silence from the bluenette. The Akabane parents tried to have a conversation with him, but he did not feel like talking. They gave up and kept quiet. It was silent the lasting time of breakfast. As soon as Nagisa was finished, he asked if it was okay for him to leave.

He decided to go out on his own, trying to get his clear his thoughts and think of something else. He put on his jacket and boots on. It was snowing outside today as well. The white landscape was quite beautiful, but to the bluenette, it made it hard for him to be happy. He wanted to share this view with the Karma. He walked for a while before he felt himself shaking. He was freezing. He put his hands in his pockets to warm them, but suddenly felt something in his left pocket. He grabbed the item and took it out. He stopped in his tracks.

It was his phone.

It was off. It had been turned off since the accident. He did not want to talk to anybody and he still felt like it. His mother did not use his phone number the last weeks. She normally called him through the Akabane residence' phone.

"Should I turn it on?" he asked himself and looked up. He glanced around the area. He was near the park that was not far from the station. He then looked down at his phone. He turned it on. Only a few seconds after being on, the phone vibrated like crazy. Messages, calls and voicemails. All was from different people. Kayano, Sugino, Nakamura, and some of the others from the E-class. Nagisa felt his heart ache and smiled sadly. They tried to contact me…

During the funeral, the whole class were present including their previous teachers. Nagisa could not take it all in at that moment. They all were so caring and sad about what had happened. He tried to keep calm, but every time Karma's name was mentioned, it was like being stabbed directly into his heart. It hurt too much to talk about him. He did not talk to any of his classmates at that point.

He looked at the messages. They were all filled with concern and worries. Some of them even asked if he wanted to go out soon. Just to clear his thoughts. He sighed heavily as he tried to pull himself together to call one of them. He gulped as he dialed Kayano's number. She deserved to get an answer more than the others.

It rang for a short while before the girl picked it up.

"Nagisa!? Is it really you!?" Nagisa smiled sadly and coughed shortly because of breathing wrong shortly.

"Yeah… It's me. I saw your messages.."

I feel terrible, and yet... Not terrible. I enjoy writing this a whole lot. I want to keep the fandom alive. I love it so much. I hope you out there do as well!

Review please~