))((((

"Hey, Berwald," Lukas asked, "what's up with Tino? He seems off."

They were all in the continental breakfast area of the hotel, piling their plates with food and filling Styrofoam cups with coffee. Their suitcases had already been packed into the car, and their various shoulder bags lay at the foot of a few tables within view. They decided it would be better to eat free breakfast here than going out somewhere along the way.

Berwald was waiting for his waffle to finish, while Mathias and Lukas waited to make their own. All three of them took up the majority of the space around the middle of the breakfast counter, but there weren't many people about as it was. Even so, they spoke in quieter tones in case they might be overheard.

"Yeah," Mathias added, "fish boy hasn't smiled all morning, and he doesn't look so good."

Berwald cast a glance over to Tino. He could see the merman around the wall dividing the buffet area and the dining space; he sat looking out of the window, sipping his orange juice. The normally bright and curious lavender-blue eyes were heavy today, and the set of his mouth was sad. He hadn't taken any food, nor had he made any attempt to hide that he was troubled about something. At least, if he had tried it hadn't worked in the slightest. Emil sat across from Tino, but appeared to be so sleep-wrecked that he wasn't paying attention to Tino's own lack of emotiveness. If even Mathias picked up on his mood change, Tino was perhaps not able to conceal his worry. Then again, he had never seemed able to contain himself emotionally, whether good or bad.

"He woke up crying earlier." Berwald explained quietly. "Says he had a bad dream, but…then he stayed in the bathroom for half and hour, and when he came out, he barely spoke to Emil or me."

"You do something to tick him off?" Mathias joked, but Lukas shushed him with a frown.

"He wouldn't talk about it?" Lukas asked, to which Berwald shook his head.

"I asked if he wanted to, but he was adamant that he didn't. He…was a little short with me about it, actually…that was right before he locked himself in the bathroom. I didn't try again after that."

Lukas carefully looked over to where Tino sat, and with a quick check to be sure no one else was watching him, his eyes went empty as he fixed them upon the merman.

"Dude, you're freaking ghost-scanning him again?" Mathias muttered. "You think he's got some bad mojo on him from last night or something, and you missed it?"

Lukas didn't answer for a full five seconds, then his eyes cleared and he blinked a few times.

"Just making sure. We can't be too careful. But I don't see anything strange lingering around him."

The first waffle dinged its' completion, and Berwald hurried to scoop it out of the machine and free it up for Lukas.

"I haven't seen him act like this before." Berwald said, concerned. "Except maybe when he was in the hospital. But that was understandable, and it only lasted a few minutes. When he has been sad, he tends to bounce back quickly."

"He's been through a lot, all things considered," Lukas pointed out as he prepared his own waffle and set the machine to cook, "I say we leave him alone. Whatever he's dealing with, his demeanor makes it obvious that he doesn't want us to pry."

Berwald gave him a questioning look, and Lukas clarified,

"If and when he wants us to know, he'll tell us. Or at least, he'll tell you, won't he?"

The other man looked a little surprised at that observation, and before he could ask, Mathias cut in,

"Ja, we're always finding out about stuff he's told you that the rest of us haven't heard."

"Well, he has been living with me for the last week," Berwald grumbled, "without you lot around I am the only one he has to talk to."

"True," Lukas agreed, "although you have to admit, he seems to go straight to you first when it comes to more serious information."

Berwald said nothing to that, his mind going immediately to the conversations they'd had at the cabin about Tino's private life, his previous partner, Ivan, and why he really came to shore. Tino had never brought that up to any of the rest of them, so Berwald had been faithful in keeping his mouth shut about it too. He hadn't really thought it was any of their business, but…Tino had shared it with him. He didn't want to admit that Lukas had a point. That sparked a glimmer of hope in him all the same.

They finished making and doctoring their waffles with butter and syrup, and went to take their seats. They'd all been eating for a few bites before Lukas looked aside at Tino and asked casually,

"You're not going to eat anything, Tino?"

The merman shook his head, attempting to meet Lukas' eyes, but only ended up dancing around them and then looking down again.

"Alright, but be sure to at least have some lunch when you and Berwald get back to the house; don't want you getting light-headed and fainting on us."

Tino nodded in agreement, then went back to hiding in his orange juice.

"You're not hungry?" Emil asked, sounding like he was still miles away from reaching wakefulness. "That's not like you."

The merman shrugged, and then escaped any more questioning by downing his juice and rising to get a refill. Once he was around the wall dividing the tables and chairs from the buffet, Mathias swatted the back of Emil's head, and the teen made a whining sound.

"Hey! What's the big idea?!" He complained.

"Lay off the questions, will you?" Mathias told him, keeping his tone quiet, "Tino just needs to be sad right now, don't ask him about it."

Emil rubbed the back of his head where Mathias had struck him, and pursed his lips.

"Wait…why's he sad?"

"We don't know, dingus!" Mathias scolded childishly. Emil frowned and raised an eyebrow.

"He had that nightmare…is that what's upset him?"

"Could be." Lukas interjected. "We've decided not to draw attention to it."

"None of my business." Emil yawned, digging lazily into his oatmeal. "Besides, he'll tell Berwald when he feels like it."

Berwald's mouth dropped open slightly, a bite of syrupy waffle halfway to his lips. Mathias and Lukas both deliberately turned to look at him, sly smiles and lifted eyebrows unnerving him for how in sync they were.

He stuffed the waffle bite in his mouth and chewed, chasing it with the strong coffee.

))((

The drive home was more quiet than they'd thought it would be considering they'd just closed a difficult case. There was the usual chattering at certain intervals, but overall, they kept to themselves. Tino didn't even try to read Berwald's book on the tablet like all the other trips. He spent the majority of the drive staring out of the window, or leaning back with his eyes closed. They did manage to wring a few words out of him when they did start reminiscing about the case, but he sounded uncharacteristically laid back. None of them addressed it, but the lack of Tino's bubbly energy was palpable.

Tino felt bad on top of the other anxieties that had infected him; he knew they were all aware something was wrong and were being the best of friends by not pressing him to talk about it, but at the same time, he wanted to be happy like normal. He didn't like feeling this way, like there was something cold wedged at the base of his throat and pressing on his chest, like he needed to cry continuously until he dislodged the pain and washed it away with his tears. So far, the things that had made him cry here on land had been sudden surprises, and he'd been able to cry it out and move on quickly, but this was different. He'd been dealing with this for a long time. Or rather, he had been ignoring it.

He didn't want to think about it any of it, and it took far more work to ignore the issues than sort through them. The merman let out an unintentional sharp breath of frustration as he fought with all the concerns and memories spinning through his head.

The sound made Berwald draw to attention beside Tino, though he didn't let on as he studied his expression. Tino's brows were drawn together and the set of his jaw was angry, which was somewhat of an improvement over the blank look he'd had all morning. Although, it had been almost two hours since he'd woken up in such distress, so perhaps it made sense that he couldn't feel entirely numb for that long, even on purpose. Still, Berwald was aching inside just sensing the unknown pain he was going through. But as he was so practiced at doing, he kept it contained and remained silent. That was the least he could do for Tino at the moment.

When they arrived at the Bondevik's, Lukas parked the SUV in the driveway and then stretched in his seat, a startlingly loud popping noise coming from his spine as he did. Mathias looked alarmed at the sound.

"Aw, babe, you need to let me work on you when we get home! You were so busy giving Tino a massage last night that you didn't get one yourself!"

The merman seemed to draw up to attention at this, and Lukas stopped any worries he might have tried to voice,

"It's ok, Tino, I wanted to do it for you. Don't worry. A massage would be nice once we get home, though, Mat."

The other man smiled and leaned in to nuzzle Lukas' head, giving him a smacking kiss on his temple before he pulled back.

"Sure thing, I'll work out all those knots in your back, no problem."

"It's mostly between my shoulders today." Lukas mumbled. "But I'm sure you'll fix me up."

"How about you, Tino?" Mat asked, as they all began emerging from the vehicle and gathering their bags. "You've got to be sore from last night, too, right? You were all seizing up while that ghost guy was possessing you."

Tino nodded, rolling one shoulder with a wince of discomfort. Berwald stepped up next to the merman, and looked down at him with a concerned face. A wicked light leapt up into Mathias' eyes, and he suggested in an overly casual manner,

"Oh, well, maybe ask Berwald to take care of that for you. He's got much bigger and stronger hands than Lukas, so he'll probably be able to do you more good, if you let him."

Berwald didn't take the bait, and gave no visible reaction. Tino, however, turned bright red in his ears and cheeks, avoiding eye contact with the larger man beside him.

"Come on, tell me that you couldn't work magic on his poor, aching muscles." Mathias said to Berwald, who merely shrugged, and said,

"Only if he wanted me to."

That had obviously not been the reaction either Mathias or Tino had been expecting, and they both gaped at him. Before the conversation could get any more awkward, Lukas cut in.

"Leave them alone, Mat, let's go inside and say hi to mom and dad before we leave."

Mathias winked at Tino before following his lover's order and heading to the front door, Emil close behind him with his bag. The teen muttered something about wanting to invite Leon over later that day and needing to clean his room first. Lukas didn't follow them right away, turning his attention to Tino, making sure Berwald heard him too as he dug out his and Tinos' bags from the SUV.

"You're probably best off resting as much as you can for a while." Lukas advised. "I know you like to do as much research as you can in a day, but you've been through your first experience as a vessel, and you'll be sore and tired for a few days, so take it easy, alright?"

The merman nodded, giving a little chirrup as Berwald handed him his overnight bag. Lukas looked like he wanted to say something else, but he just shook his head.

"You coming in to see the folks?" He asked instead.

Tino hesitated, looking reluctant and clutching his bag to his chest nervously for something to do.

"It's ok if you'd rather not." Reassured Lukas. "Do you want to go straight back with Berwald?"

Looking slightly ashamed, the merman nodded, staring down at his boots.

"We can get going, then." Berwald said, seeing that Tino didn't want to linger. "Say hi for us, Lukas."

Lukas nodded, and turned to follow the others into the house.

"See you later," he called over his shoulder, "take care."

Berwald unlocked his car, putting his bag in the back. The merman followed suit, and then fiddled with the door handle on the front passenger side. He looked toward the house as he stood there, his eyes strained. Berwald stopped on the other side of the car, looking at Tino from across the hood. When the merman turned to meet his eyes, the mans' expression softened.

"Don't feel guilty about it, Tino. They're not bitter people, they can understand that you need space. Let's go home, now."

A small purring hum came from Tino's chest at those words. He'd been using a lot of his mer sounds in place of words this morning, and oddly enough, Berwald found that he could actually understand the sentiment behind each response. It was the same as knowing when a dog was whining as opposed to barking, or cat purring instead of hissing; there was a universal tone to sounds like that, and Tino's were no exception. So Berwald allowed himself a little pride as he heard that sound and knew that Tino was relieved to be going back home.

Tino slipped into the car and buckled his seat belt while Berwald did the same. He felt awful about snubbing the kind Bondeviks, but he honestly didn't know if he could look Mama Viki in the face without crying. He had the feeling that her mothering nature had the capacity to coax his tears right out of him, and Tino didn't need much help with that to begin with.

As Berwald started the car and they pulled out onto the street, Tino wondered to himself why exactly he was trying to keep his feelings in check from his companions this particular time. He'd already told Berwald all about Ivan, and their argument, had already wept on his shoulder about it. Perhaps that was it; he didn't want to repeat the same grievances for fear of being a greater bother. Though, he still knew that the big man would claim not to mind, and Tino would believe him. Still, he felt an overwhelming urge to crawl into Berwald's lap as soon as he could, and take the comfort and support that he knew the man would give him. The most vulnerable parts of Tino's nature cried out for his new alpha to protect him from his own tragedy and make everything right again. But he remained stubbornly silent as he tried to weather this latest wave of emotion on his own.

When the entire group of them had been riding together, it was easier to pretend that Tino was just fine until he otherwise said, as they'd collectively agreed to do. Now, with just Tino and Berwald in the car alone, the lack of buffer from the others was noticeable to them both. Usually when they were driving together, Berwald remained silent for the most part, and Tino would be chattering away about something. Without Tino's normal peppiness and rambling, it seemed especially quiet inside the car.

For Tino's part, he felt much more relaxed now that it was just the two of them. He cared for the others deeply, but even he had a threshold when it came to socializing, and combined with his sudden bad mood and being together for the last two days, he was ready to have his own space again. That wasn't to say that he was wishing to be entirely alone, as Berwald himself was an inexplicably safe place for Tino, and he found he still wanted to be near him. During the long, drawn out minutes of driving in silence, Tino felt himself relaxing just being quiet with the man, as though his strong, silent presence was enough to soothe him.

After a handful of minutes, Tino cleared his throat and spoke for the first time since he'd startled from his dream that morning,

"Are you going to take a nap when we get back?"

Berwald thankfully didn't give any indication that he was excited or shocked that Tino had broken his long silence, and only shrugged.

"Don't think so. I slept well."

Tino shifted in his seat, leaning his head on his hand as he gazed out of the window. The neighborhoods and mailboxes still caught his eye as they drove past them. His voice had a touch of desire in it as he asked,

"Think we could watch a movie or something then? And maybe…eat some snacks?"

A small glow of hope fringed Berwald's heart at the suggestion, and he nodded.

"Sounds perfect."

It could have been his imagination, but Berwald thought that he saw Tino grin slightly, out of the corner of his eye.

))((

The rest of the day was spent lounging in the living room, eating a variety of snack foods, and watching a handful of movies. Berwald normally didn't have a problem with taking a day off to just be lazy and recharge after a weekend like they'd had, and doing so with Tino was proving to be an interesting experience, but he did sense that they were doing it less out of the need for relaxation and more because Tino wanted to be distracted. That knowledge left him with an underlying bit of wariness toward the merman's actions.

Most telling, Tino didn't curl up right beside him like he normally liked to do. He'd taken up a spot in the plush recliner next to the sofa when he saw the other man sitting there. That spoke volumes to Berwald. Tino had never been shy about his need and love for physical contact, and he'd even hoped that the merman would cling to him like he had at other times when he'd been frightened or sad. It wasn't as though he'd done anything to indicate that he minded. On the contrary, he'd repeatedly assured Tino that he was alright with it, and always willing to indulge him. Berwald could also tell that Tino didn't truly want to keep his distance, but was making himself for some reason. He nearly caught Tino's gaze a few times when he glanced sideways at him, but the merman always turned away before he could confirm that Tino was peeking at him.

The movies, and eventually the streaming show, that they watched prompted reactions from Tino that told Berwald they were doing their job at distracting him. He'd chuckle or smile, or have a few questions, or jump in fear. It was at least a sign that he wasn't entirely withdrawn into himself. Berwald had been afraid that the merman would have locked himself in his room when they returned to the house, and that he'd spend all day worrying about how he was doing. Little did he know was that this was Tino's original wish, before changing his mind.

A lunch of leftover pasta came and went, and after marathoning through the show they'd settled on, they took a break to unpack their overnight bags and shower before dinner. Once fresh and clean, they came back downstairs to make a dinner of chicken and vegetables, which they ate on pop-up trays in the living room. By the time the sun had long since gone down and Tino began to yawn, they had amassed a scattering of snack packages, dishes, and cups from water, juice, and milk.

"I don't remember the last time I've spent a day doing absolutely nothing." Berwald said, when they reached the end of another episode and he sat up to stretch. "I didn't even know I could eat that much in one day, either."

Tino turned wide eyes to him and immediately said,

"Oh, I'm sorry…have you been uncomfortable or bored? Did you want to work on a project instead? You could've left me by myself if you really wanted to do something else! I just really needed down time, and-."

"It's ok, Tino," Berwald cut him off, gently, "I know this was what was best for you. For both of us, actually. It's been nice to have a day like this. Even nicer spending it with you. If I was by myself, then I might've been bored. Don't worry."

The merman looked for a moment like he didn't believe Berwald, but then his skepticism faded away the longer he held Berwald's honest gaze. Then his full lips pulled up into a small grin.

"It was nice, wasn't it?" He asked, quietly. "Just resting, like Lukas said…"

Berwald nodded, then stood up and arched his back, groaning slightly. He suspected that Tino's fast-acting insecurity would rear its ugly head at some point, and he'd been ready to shoot it down.

"So you enjoyed yourself today?" He asked lightly.

"Eventually, yes." Answered Tino, and Berwald was pleased to see that the merman wasn't trying to skirt his eyes anymore. "It became better as the day wore on."

The taller man nodded, gathering a few of the cups from the day, and starting to stack the few real plates together to take them into the kitchen. Tino took a cue from him and began picking up the dishes around himself as well.

"I sensed that." Berwald said, deciding not to shy away from the topic. "You seemed so far away and sad this morning, you needed something to help you escape your own thoughts for a while."

The merman ducked his head, taking the lead on the way to the kitchen. Both of them had their hands full thanks to the two meals and a few desserts and snacks they'd had throughout the day. Berwald might have let them laze around and make a mess most of the day, but he was too tidy of a person to leave it all for tomorrow.

"It isn't as though I did a good job hiding it." Tino muttered, a little regretfully. "But I don't think I could have been convincing if I'd tried."

"You're not the type to hide your emotions well, or even at all."

Berwald affirmed, turning on the hot water as they took up their usual positions at the sink; Tino rinsed the dishes, while Berwald then loaded them into the dishwasher. They'd found this rhythm last week, after Berwald convinced Tino that not every dish needed to be handwashed when they had a machine for the purpose. The merman still enjoyed the ritual of rinsing the dishes at least before putting them in, so they'd found a compromise that still helped the job go quicker.

"In general, my people are very open about their feelings." Tino said. "It's easier when you can sense them innately in your peers."

"That idea still sounds very uncomfortable to me." Admitted Berwald, taking dish after dish that Tino handed to him. The merman gave another small smile.

"Because you are the opposite; you are very good at hiding your feelings from other humans, even when you don't mean to. You're interesting like that, you know, even from my perspective."

Berwald raised a golden eyebrow at Tino when their eyes met, and the merman gave a giggle at the questioning look on the other man's face.

"Just think about it, Ber; you are uncannily good at appearing emotionless, even though you'll share your thoughts or feelings with no qualms if someone asks you, even if it's something most might find embarrassing. You're not even trying to hide anything, but most people cannot tell that about you the way I can."

"What's your point?" Berwald asked, trying to suppress the little flutter in his heart from Tino's wording.

The merman took a long time, several dishes worth, to answer. When he did, he sounded tired.

"That I'm jealous, I suppose…and confused as to why."

"So, you wish that you could've hidden your distress from us all this morning?" Berwald tried to clarify, glad that they had a task to focus on while they began talking about this. It seemed to help Tino.

"Yes," he answered immediately, "but I'm not sure why. You've all seen me in extreme emotional states before. At least, what you humans would call 'extreme'. But…this time, I just didn't want to involve anyone."

"Do you even want to be telling me this?" Berwald asked softly. "If you'd rather not talk about it, we don't have to."

"I know," Tino insisted, sounding frustrated, "that's what you said the last time!"

When Berwald pushed his glasses farther up his nose and scratched the side of his head, Tino sighed, pausing briefly in his rinsing of the various silverware they'd used that day.

"I'm sorry. This is why I didn't want to tell any of you; I'm…oddly upset about it. It's not even anything new since I've already told you."

Berwald had the sense that Tino wasn't done voicing his entire complaint yet, so he stayed quiet, loading the last few dishes Tino handed him while he thought.

"I shouldn't even be this irritated anymore, anyway." The merman finally muttered, as he shut off the water and began drying his hands. "I thought I'd moved passed this already."

Instead of trying to make sense of what Tino was rambling about, Berwald started the dishwasher and dried his own hands. Then he gently nudged Tino aside so he could fill the electric kettle from the tap. He remained quiet while Tino climbed up to sit on the counter, and settled in, hugging his arms around himself. There was nothing to be said until Tino made it clear whether he truly wanted to speak about his troubles or not. Berwald was still not insisting that he do so, especially if the merman was unsure himself. So, he simply turned the kettle on, and began sifting through the drawer that contained his various packs of tea. He selected a citrus one for himself, and then turned to find Tino watching him with half-lidded eyes, that looked unfocused and weary.

His plan had been to wait, like he had been all day, to let Tino come to him. But that expression on Tino's sweet face was too heart-breaking for him to ignore. Berwald let out an audible sigh through his nose, and walked deliberately over to stand in front of the merman, so close that Tino's legs brushed up against his sides. One large hand reached out to cup Tino's face, and those violet-blue eyes flared to life again, filling with anticipation and surprise. Berwald let his thumb pat Tino's cheek a few times as he studied the lines of the merman's face with gentle eyes. Remembering something that Tino had done more than once before, Berwald pulled his golden head forward a bit, and rested their foreheads together in a comforting gesture.

Tino drew in a very quiet breath, but remained still and unobjecting as the moment stretched. He could feel Berwald's warm skin against his own, hear his soft breathing, the tender touch of his hand on his face and the other that came to pat his knee. True to form, Berwald didn't say anything for a while, just let this simple expression of caring say everything for him. And Tino heard him loud and clear, in that silence between them. It made Tino all the more aware that this man, his human, was perfectly suitable to be his new alpha. Berwald had proven it enough times that, back home, Tino would be within his right to request a declaration of his intentions. To shift Berwald from alpha to Alpha. However, this was dry land. Much was different here and Tino felt he had already skirted the edge of what most humans might call proper in his relationship to Berwald. The other man had not seemed to care, though. He had known him for less than a month and yet Berwald seemed to understand Tino so completely, knew what he needed when he needed it, handled him in a doting and responsible way, even knew when to be firm with him. The merman was aware that the last thing on his mind should be a possible romance with the first human to show him such kindness, but there was only so much possibility that he could see right in front of him and not be tempted by.

When Berwald did finally speak, it almost made Tino jump, he'd been so wound up in his inner thoughts. For once, he was glad that Berwald couldn't sense them.

"I'll make you some peppermint tea."

"Alright…" Tino answered softly, feeling so warm that he was mildly surprised he wasn't glowing like an ember.

Berwald drew back, giving Tino one last pat on his knee before going back to his tea drawer. The sound of the kettles' water growing hotter and hotter filled the quiet of the kitchen, as Tino watched Berwald prepare the two ceramic mugs with teabags. After pouring the boiled water in and beginning to steep the tea, Berwald handed one of the mugs to Tino, with a long-stemmed teaspoon already resting in it.

"Why don't you take that on up to the bedroom?" Berwald suggested. "Get into comfy clothes while it cools, and then we can just sit and drink together. Sound ok?"

Tino felt relieved just hearing that idea, and it must have flooded his face by the way Berwald lightly gripped his hand around the mug. The merman sniffed at the minty, refreshing scent wafting up in a tendril of steam, and pursed his lips a little.

"Do I get any sugar in this?"

Berwald's compassionate expression hardened a little as he shook his head, stepping back from Tino.

"It's getting late, and the idea is to help you relax. Sugar will only stimulate you."

"Honey, then?" Pushed Tino.

"Honey still contains sugar."

Tino frowned, mildly annoyed and yet amused at the same time.

"OK, what about that other stuff? Ag…uh…agave?"

He could almost see Berwald's broad shoulders slump as he realized they might be here a while if he didn't give in.

"Alright, I'll give you a little bit of agave, but that's all."

Tino's face blossomed into a bright smile, and he held out his currently-sugarless tea for Berwald to rectify. The man shook his head, fetching the bottle of agave and uncapping it to give two decent squirts into the mug. When he capped the bottle again, Tino looked unimpressed, stirring the hot liquid with his teaspoon.

"Just be happy I gave you that much." Berwald chided gently. "Now go on, I'll be up soon."

Tino slipped down from the counter, and followed Berwald's suggestion. He changed into his pajamas, then climbed into bed, taking his mug with him. He'd just taken his first sip of the still-hot, but cooling, tea, when Berwald came in, carrying his own.

"This tastes so nice, Berwald." Tino told him, sounding happy and a little dreamy. "You're right; it is relaxing."

"I'm glad." Berwald said, placing his tea on his nightstand. "It's been a long couple of days for us, I think we need all the help we can get."

Tino nodded, trying not to become distracted when Berwald began changing into his own pajamas. It had become a nightly struggle. Granted, Tino was used to most of the males in his life having toned bodies due to the abdominal strength required to swim with a mer tail, but that didn't mean that he couldn't appreciate a good-looking human body as well. Berwald had a set of weights in the bare-bones room downstairs, and he'd shown Tino once or twice how he used them to exercise, but it seemed like too much work to the merman. Plus, Berwald always smelled quite unpleasant after his bi-weekly routine, and Tino was still adjusting to sweat in everyday life.

Berwald made quick work of it, and then slid into bed beside Tino. Once he picked up his mug, they were a matched set, sitting up against the headboard, under the covers, with their tea. They rested like that for a little while, sipping together while the clock on the wall ticked later and later, the sound of the fan in the corner filling the rest of the room with soft white noise. Eventually, Tino did what Berwald had known, and hoped that he would; scooted closer and leaned his head on the other man's shoulder.

"Ber…" He said, softly. "I don't want to go to sleep."

Berwald hummed in response, lifting a hand to rest on Tino's head. He unintentionally leaned his own down toward Tino's, as though to rest them together once more.

"Is this because of the dream you had last night?" Berwald probed very carefully.

Tino nodded on Berwald's shoulder, under his hand, and inched closer.

"It's ridiculous." The merman almost whispered. "I'm afraid that I'll have another just like it tonight. I shouldn't be this upset by the idea, not anymore."

"What do you mean?"

Tino sighed, and took a little sip of tea while he leaned there, before asking,

"You remember at the cabin, when I told you about the fight I had with Ivan?"

Berwald gave an affirmative sound without saying anything, stroking his fingers on the crown of Tino's head. The merman continued,

"Last night, or this morning, whichever…I dreamt about it, like I was reliving the entire argument over again. It was startlingly real…"

"That's why you woke up crying." Stated Berwald, lifting his own mug to his lips.

"It was very disorienting," Tino said, "the emotions were so real, so close, because it felt like I'd just been ripped from that scene and woken up in the hotel room. Then…all I could do was remember how terrible it had been, and…I haven't been able to shake it off."

"Is it because you miss Ivan?"

The question seemed to knock Tino out of his sad, contemplative state for a moment, and he pulled back to look at Berwald.

"I…I don't know, really." He stuttered, tears forming a glossy sheen over his eyes. "It…feels like…a tangled mess, inside my heart. I can't even sort through it all to decide what hurts the most."

Berwald's bright, blue-green eyes narrowed in sympathy at the painfully honest words. He could see Tino's struggle, unfolding right before him, and he felt desperate to help. Tino wiped at his eyes with his free hand, the other holding his mug carefully in his lap.

"It's been months now," Tino went on, his voice wavering between frustration and defeat, "I've had other matters to focus on, my parents were kind and took me back without any ridicule…I shouldn't still be so upset! It's not like being a mother was the only goal I had for my life, I'm perfectly content as things are! But…I did…I did want…"

Without saying the words, Berwald knew exactly what Tino was thinking about. The merman had said plenty of times that he loved children, and wanted to bear his own someday. Although feeling out of his depth, not knowing how to relate to a male with the miraculous capacity to bear children, Berwald could still understand the sadness of being unable to conceive to a certain degree. It was fascinatingly tragic that Tino had clearly wanted to conceive so badly, while some inexplicable force had withheld his womb.

"Tino," Berwald said quietly, "you were bonded to Ivan, right? Even though it ended badly, you still had a close connection to him. That kind of intimacy leaves an impression on you, and it's not something you can erase overnight even if you want to."

The merman looked up at him, his brows pulling in on themselves as he considered the words. He swallowed, and rubbed his chin on his shoulder as a stray tear made it to the underside of his jaw.

"I didn't even mean for Ivan to become so important." Tino said. "I thought that I loved Eduard more, and Ivan was just a comforting alternative. But…I was actually very happy with him. So happy that I did let Eduard go, or thought I did. But then…when I didn't grow a nesting chamber, I began to doubt myself. If I'd developed true feelings for my partner, why didn't my body open to him? 'The body reflects the heart', that's what we are always told."

Berwald gave him an exceedingly apologetic shrug, and shook his head regretfully. The weight and complexity of what Tino was imparting to him made his brain hurt a bit. Berwald was the last person to discredit metaphysical influence on physical entities, but the idea that one's own heart determined who and when that person could conceive, was confounding.

"I can't answer that for you." He said honestly. "In my opinion, the heart can be fickle. Feelings do change. There are subtleties to our emotions that can't be analyzed, all we can do is make our best guess as to why we're feeling a certain way at a certain time, and then try to ride it out. That's just how life goes. So, I can't really understand how your own desires and pregnancy work for your people. I'm sorry. Though, from the sound of things, you were very confused through that entire time."

"I won't deny that." Admitted Tino, sounding a little sturdier now after hearing Berwald's words. "You're right; sometimes we think we know what we want because of what we're feeling, and we end up being wrong. Whether that means the mind and heart are working separately, I don't know. But, confusion can be a major factor in keeping mer from nesting…to be honest, I think both me and Ivan knew that, but didn't want to admit it. Perhaps, if I had just said no to Ivan at the celebration that night, and remained unattached until I adjusted to the idea of Eduard being with someone else…then maybe…"

Berwald slid his fingers under Tino's chin, and lifted his head. He made sure the merman was looking into his eyes as he told him,

"It's a bad idea to start asking 'what if' like that. It is very sad; you watched all the possibilities of your future with Ivan fall apart, it's natural to consider whether you would have been happy, or what your children would have looked like, or how many you might have had. There's nothing wrong with having those thoughts, but you can't dwell on them. You can never know what would have happened, and you'll torture yourself trying to."

Tino leaned his head into Berwald's touch. Those words seemed to have broken something in him. His eyes closed slowly, two picture-perfect teardrops rolling down his cheeks. They were almost beautiful in their symmetry. Tino's bottom lip trembled, until he bit it gently, and his slender frame heaved with a shuddering inhalation and sigh of breath. His lips parted then, his eyes opening again to reveal those pools of lavender-blue, staring wearily into Berwald's own.

"Then what am I supposed to do?"

The question was enough to break Berwald's heart for how hopeless it sounded. He had to fight to keep from tearing up himself as the ghosts of his own past rose to haunt him. He calmly eased them back down. With a gentle stroke to Tino's jaw, he said,

"Take it one day at a time, one hour at a time, if you have to. And move forward."

Berwald wondered briefly if the words were too simple, not giving Tino enough encouragement or guidance to help him. For a terrifyingly uncertain moment, Tino didn't react. Then, gradually, Berwald saw the merman relax bodily, felt the soft sigh that left his lips as he sunk back against the headboard beside Berwald. The man slid his arm behind Tino's shoulders as he did this, supporting his slight weight and curling a hand around his shoulder, rubbing softly. The smaller man nuzzled his head against Berwald's collarbone, his silky hair brushing his chin.

"Ja…I guess that's all anyone can do." Tino sighed. "It's not easy, though."

"Not all the time, no." Berwald agreed, wishing he could do something more. "But it's alright to feel sad if you need to. No one should try and force anyone else to act cheerful when they are not."

Tino hummed, and made a thoughtful sound as he remembered something. When he spoke, his voice was very low, the cadence careful, as though not wanting to upset Berwald.

"You used to siphon all of your negative feelings into a shield. I guess if anyone has a right to tell me to work through emotions, and not stifle them, it's you."

"There's a balance." Berwald said, just as carefully. "If your sadness grows to the point where you can't function, then measures definitely need to be taken for the sake of your emotional and mental health."

The merman made a low, fluttery sound in his chest, almost like a mewl. It vibrated against Berwald's arm and shoulder. Little things like that still got to the bigger man, reminding him of what a marvelous creature he actually had right in front of him. As charming as he found Tino, he could sometimes become so blinded by that charm that he'd forget the animal-like side the young man had, but didn't require while on shore. When it did slip out, in his reactions, Berwald felt an urge to see Tino in his full, wild state in the sea. One day…perhaps.

"I don't think I'm at that point." Tino finally said. "I'm sad…and the dream brought back to me how much of a mess everything was with Ivan and my own desires, but…it's never felt like I couldn't move forward, like you said. It just hurts to think about."

Berwald gave Tino's shoulder a squeeze, and leaned down just enough to rest his chin on the top of Tino's head.

"You're so naturally joyful and happy that I'm sure those traits will pull you through." Berwald assured. "If you weren't able to handle it, I doubt you would have come to shore at all, let alone be so filled with life and energy despite everything you left behind."

"That's part of what I don't understand." Blurted Tino, in a livelier tone than he'd had all day. "I told you about all of this before, that first week at the cabin! You let me have a cry, and then I felt so much better, and I've confided parts of the story to the others and the fans in general…so why did this dream have to come along and blindside me like this? I thought that I had dealt with it!"

"There's a difference between remembering something, then reliving it all over again." Offered Berwald. "The brain is a wonderous mechanism, capable of making something like your dream so real that you'd be affected regardless of how long it had been. I don't know why that happened to you, but I think it's safe to say that the shock brought everything back."

"I suppose." Tino said, sounding more grumpy than upset now. Berwald was glad to hear a bit of spunk return to his voice. "To quote Emil, 'it sucks, bro'."

A smile spread on Berwald's face until he couldn't hold in the chuckling anymore, and he burst out with a rolling series of them. Tino joined him a second later, and it felt wonderfully refreshing to do so. As their chuckling quieted down, Tino set his tea aside, and wriggled his arm in behind Berwald's back, wrapping his other around the broad chest to hug the man. Berwald wouldn't have considered doing anything else but drawing Tino closer, hugging him back and holding him that way for a few minutes.

So good. Berwald's mind whispered to him. This feels so good. He's soft and warm and small.

He smelled good, too, Berwald noted as he inhaled the scent of his own shampoo on Tino's hair. He'd always liked that shampoo. A stirring of something dangerous in his body alarmed the larger man, and he had to fight hard to distract himself from it. All he had to do was consider what the merman had just been talking about, and that gave him the motivation he needed to calm down. Tino had been confused and hurt enough without Berwald coming in with his own feelings and making things even worse. Right now, Tino needed strength and emotional stability.

Tino made a small sound of discomfort after a while, shifting his body, and Berwald instantly went on alert.

"Are you ok?" He asked, pulling back enough to look down at Tino's expression.

"I'm sore." Tino sighed, drawing away from Berwald as well. "I've been sore all day, just like Lukas said."

Berwald said nothing at first, as his mind leapt at once to Mathias' suggestion from that morning. He watched Tino arch his back, stretching, and rubbing at his neck. Berwald fought a brief war within himself; he'd just decided Tino needed emotional support, not physical attention. Then again, it was what Tino responded to best, and it couldn't hurt anything to offer.

"I did say that I would massage anywhere that you were sore." Berwald said, trying to mask any potential perversion to his voice. "Would you like me to?"

Tino cocked his head to the side, looking sideways at Berwald.

"You'd really do that for me?" He asked hopefully. "The way Lukas did?"

"Of course. Though, I'd probably do a few things differently. For one, I'd go all the way down your legs to your feet before you fall asleep this time. Your entire body was locked up tight, so aren't they sore as well?"

"Ja, everything is to some degree." Tino answered. "I'd really like that, Ber."

Berwald nodded, calming himself so as not to sound bumbling or overly eager. This was a delicate situation to his mind. Last time, they had all been together and it was obviously nothing more than a kind gesture from one friend to another. This time, it was just the two of them, in bed together. The implications were enormous, and Berwald tried not to let on that he was aware of that. This tactic had paid off so far.

"Alright, then. Would you like me to start with your feet and work my way up? Or should I start with your shoulders?"

"Shoulders, please." Tino said happily. "They're the worst out of everything. Should I take off my shirt?"

"Only if you want."

Tino didn't need long to make up his mind, stripping his shirt off in a matter of seconds. Lukas had massaged Tino without his shirt, so Berwald decided that was the reason.

"I know that Lukas had you sitting up, but it might be a better idea to have you lay on your stomach; it's easier for us both that way, and then you don't have to worry about holding yourself up either."

Tino nodded in agreement, stretching out toward the foot of the bed and crossing his ankles comfortably on the pillow next to Berwald. The other man was suddenly looking down on Tino's slender back. The expanse of pale skin was adorned with two beautiful lines of glowing markings cresting Tino's shoulder blades and meeting just beneath them, forming a larger column of spots that followed his spine all the way down. They were mesmerizing, glowing at the same brightness regardless of the lighting, but they looked so much more vibrant in low light like this.

"Ah…I can't believe that after an entire day of doing nothing, it still feels amazing to lie down after it's all over." Tino sighed, running his hands over the bed's comforter and nuzzling his face into the softness.

Berwald didn't reply, happy enough to see Tino more content than a few minutes ago. Instead, he let his actions speak for him, laying his big hands over Tino's shoulders and beginning to knead his tired muscles. The merman gave no reaction passed a cursory hum at first. After a minute, he said, almost timidly,

"You can dig in harder with your fingers, I won't break."

Berwald complied, leaning more of his weight into the movement of his hands and fingers. Almost instantly Tino began to give little sounds of encouragement.

"That's better." Tino crooned, a slow, rolling chirp of a sound escaping his throat as Berwald worked on a knot he'd discovered in the very center of his back. "Ahhh… My, my…"

"Just tell me if I'm hurting you." Berwald said softly, aware of how small and delicate Tino's frame felt despite the corded muscle gained from his life at sea.

"You're not." The merman replied in a sighing breath. "That feels very good. You can go deeper, it's alright…"

Taking him at his word, Berwald pressed harder and deeper, feeling little pops in Tino's spine releasing their tension as he did.

"Ah!" Tino exclaimed in surprise, then chuckling. "That was a magnificent crack! It's been a while…"

"You cracked your back in the sea, too?" Asked Berwald, as he rubbed out the spot and continued up and down the length of Tino's spine, following his markings.

"Occasionally. After a long day of travel or work at the barter. Though, the cores of our bodies are much more accustomed to motion and support than you humans. I haven't said anything, but…I feel like my body is beginning to grow weaker since coming ashore."

A shameful thought came to Berwald; that Tino would naturally begin to soften and gain weight if he kept eating unhealthy human food without exercise. Personally, he didn't see a problem with that, but he wondered how it would impact the merman going forward. He made a mental note to try and fill Tino's diet with more vegetables and less sugar and carbs. Though, he also wondered how he would ever deny him anything if he asked for it with that sweet face.

"Then best take care of yourself." Was all he said aloud. "I can help with that. I'll take care of you, too."

Berwald didn't realize the instinctive reaction his words had caused within Tino's very being. By nature, Tino craved nurture and care with a passion only matched by his desire to reciprocate such qualities. There was little that made him feel safer, happier, and more content, than someone explicitly telling him for his own comfort that they would take care of him. His body shivered in response as it was filled with subtle warmth.

"Thanks, Ber…" Tino muttered into the sheets.

For long moments after this exchange, Berwald worked up and down Tino's back, his shoulders, even his nape and up into his scalp. Every other movement was accompanied by more breathy sighs and little inhuman sounds of pleasure.

The merman's skin was soft, and Berwald would be lying to himself not to admit that he was enjoying the feel of it. He found himself absently wondering how long it had been since he'd touched another person in such an intimate way, and realized it had been years. There was frequent companionable contact between his newfound surrogate family, The Bondeviks, but that didn't compare. He wasn't exactly caring for a sick or injured person, wasn't needing a familial need by nursing or comforting as he had with them. This was something different. Something tiptoeing over the edge of platonic and into…the erotic.

Perhaps both of them should have been more cautious, but in the end, neither of them felt the need to think on it more than a passing acknowledgement in their own minds.

That is, until Berwald felt tempted to venture just below Tino's lower back, and had to stop his hands from gliding right down and over Tino's taught backside. It seemed like such a natural progression to Berwald's hands, but he had to remind them that was not the case this time, and he decided to call it quits with Tino's upper half, and focus on his feet and legs like he'd promised.

"Can you turn around for me?" Berwald asked. "I can start on your feet now, if you still want me to."

"Ja…" Tino answered, his voice slurred with relaxation. When he sat up and turned his body to lay back with his head on his pillows, Berwald could see how tired his eyes looked. They were mostly-closed, and something about the set of his mouth was sleepy as well.

Despite their close living arrangements, Berwald had never really taken time to study Tino's feet beyond brief glimpses. Now, he was given all the permission he needed. They were small and pale like the rest of him, with neat nails and an almost skeletal slenderness to their shape. Tiny pinpricks of glowing light sprinkled over the tops of them, down to his toes like so much scattered glitter. When Berwald picked one up in his big hands, he was surprised at how cold it felt. Apparently Tino was as well.

"Your hands are warm." Murmured the merman sleepily, eyes opening in a brief flutter of violet-blue.

"Why didn't you tell me your feet were this cold?"

"Didn't know."

Berwald didn't get much else out of Tino as he began to rub the ball of his foot with his thumbs, dragging them firmly down the center of the sole and into the heel. Mostly, the merman offered up awed groans and sighs as he experienced a foot massage for the first time. Berwald kept glancing up, unable to get enough of the blissful expression Tino wore, with his head cradled by the soft pillow. It gave him almost a bright glow between his pale skin, blond hair, and the white of the pillowcase. As Berwald moved from one foot to the other slowly, carefully, taking his time to let Tino every ounce of enjoyment he could from it, he chased away the cold and warmed Tino's flesh with his own.

After several long minutes, Tino's sounds began to die away, and eventually they dissolved into nothing more than deep breathing. When Berwald looked up to remark on how much warmer Tino's feet had become, he saw in the merman's face, that he was dead asleep. Relief washed over him. Tino had been stressed about sleeping, and so stressed in general today, that he'd wondered how the night would play out for him. There was a spot of pride in Berwald for feeling like he'd helped eased Tino to sleep as well.

Carefully, Berwald drew the covers out from under Tino's calves, and draped them over his body. Tino shifted just a bit in response, and to Berwald's surprise, slid a hand out from the blankets, and latched lazily onto his wrist. His heart twitched with how adorable this action was, and Berwald leaned down to bravely brush a kiss on Tino's cheek. He was met by a very soft purring thrum. Fighting the impulse to whisper 'sweet dreams', Berwald very cautiously slid Tino's hand away long enough for him to settle into his own spot under the covers, and switch off the lamp.

Once situated on his side, Berwald covered Tino' hand with his own again, and the slender fingers curled gently into his hold. Time seemed to stretch as the man drank in the sight of the merman's profile, dotted with glowing spots of light that he'd never tire of admiring. How had he come to have such a beautiful creature sleeping beside him every single night? He didn't have the answer to that, and he wasn't sure he really cared, but he could not keep himself from feeling the wonder.

Time began to flow again once Berwald's eyes began drooping and his body relaxed into a pre-sleep slump. The world became foggier and started to drift away slowly. At some point, Tino gave a sharp little breath of wakefulness, and his hand flexed in Berwald's. A sleepy squeeze of recognition came next from both of them, and then Tino was rolling over on his side to face the other man. A languid yawn escaped him, and he nuzzled deeper into his pillow before his hand went slack in Berwald's a few seconds later.

"Alpha…"

The single word escaped, feather-soft and far-away, like Tino had breathed it rather than consciously decided to speak it aloud. Something about it touched Berwald's heart in a way that it hadn't before. Once or twice he'd heard Tino call him that, but he hadn't thought much about it. This time…it was like the syllables brushed along his spine, up his neck, to settle in his mind the reassurance that Tino trusted him implicitly. How had he not felt so proud and possessive hearing that word before? In his own half-waking state, Berwald couldn't decipher the complexity of what he felt at that moment.

For all the power in that one word, the draw of sleep was stronger, and drew him down into its' depths with darkness, and the soothing sound of Tino's purring.

))((

TBC (: