Author's Notes: I rookie'd this, and forgot to Beta. It's done now. *Rated M* From this point on.

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Chapter 4 -

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Harvey had spent over an hour, sat, outside a literal stranger's house, with a bottle of quickly emptying Whiskey.

It turns out, that Donna Paulsen was the only thing that remained through the numbing of alcohol. Either that, or he truly had become an alcoholic, over the years.

She had mentioned Mark the night before. It was almost as if the stars themselves were hell bent on making his life a complicated shit-fight. He had to turned up unannounced. They both had. So, of course he would. It was only fitting, considering Paula, and the kiss, and her Father dieing, and everything else going on with them.

Now add to that, the sudden and innate feeling of fear. This wasn't just about him figuring out if he wanted to be with Donna instead of Paula. If he wanted to forever alter their position in one another's lives. This was now about the possibility of losing her to a man that he'd nearly lost her to a decade ago. A man that still wanted her. Of that he was sure.

He wasn't going to pretend that he wasn't happy when Mark Meadows, the perfect boyfriend, had let her go. He always knew, deep down that whenever she became happy with someone else, it meant that he would struggle between the happiness he wanted for her, and the innate feeling of losing her.

And that feeling of losing her, added with his immense effort to abate such an outcome, won every single time. He was a selfish asshole when it came to her. He was. He knew it in his bones.

And after seeing her kissing a man that wasn't him, he feels like he should have left immediately after. But for the first time, he is rooted to the spot. He is virtually incapable of leaving, until he hears a confirmation from her, to support her actions.

The thought of such a thing terrifies him.

And so...here he is...an adult...with his own law firm...house...car...hiding, out back, with a bottle of Scotch.

In the yard of a man who's not here anymore…

He shakes his head at such a notion, pulling the bottle to his lips, where the glass had been discarded long before.

He frowns, the liquid tasting like water, and the sensation feeling as such.

He had heard everyone leave about twenty minutes ago, the catering staff passing him through the back door with their held expressions.

He hears the shower turn on then, a light flick above him and knows that the gathering must be over by now.

Either that or the woman he's potentially in love with, has just had the best sex of her life, and is now celebrating that with a good long shower.

He takes another swig of Macallan, swilling it about his mouth.

Time to do another stupid thing, he thinks to himself, as he moves to stand, pulling at his shoulder slightly for the position it's set into, and picking up the coat that he had shrugged off earlier.

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He wanders up to his room, the idea of a shower not a bad idea, as he walks to the en suite, quickly discarding his clothes. He figures that the act might give him some clarity, as the water washes over him with a raised temperature that he suspects is caused by two showers being run at the same time. But there is something calming about the heat of it, just below unbearable, as he closes his eyes and lets the water take him.

He uses the time to gear himself up. To take a chance.

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He finds her on her Father's bed, dressed in black leggings, a camisole and a her cardigan hung around her delicate form, staring out at the acres of dimming light, that spread out into the promise of a clear winter night sky. Her head inclines slightly, feeling him behind her, as he wanders very slowly towards her.

"Harvey," She says, adjusting her expression. "I thought you'd left." She admits.

"I thought about it...after seeing you kiss your ex-boyfriend." He says, his surly demeanour getting the best of him.

"Ugh, he kissed me, actually." she says. "And...you're with Paula. So what does it matter to you?"

"Donna,"

"No, seriously." She says, in urge awakening in her, then. "Why are you here, Harvey?"

"Because you needed me." He says plainly.

"Clearly, judging by today, yes...I needed someone. But I never asked you to come here." She clarifies.

"Look, Donna" He says, wrestling with his frustration at her. "I wanted to be there for you. And Paula said I needed to figure things out with us, and...she's right, I do, guess I just-."

"I'm sorry, wait," She says, a sharpness in her words as she interrupts him. "You're ONLY here because your girlfriend told you to figure things out with me?" She gives him a stony look. "You are...unbelievable. Do you do anything without the aid or either her...or me?" She fires at him.

"Donna, I'm here because I want to be. And I told her that I was coming here, before she even had a chance to comment on it. Only then, did she give me the permission to...work it out. Because she knows, that what's going on between us isn't over. And you know it too. Regardless of my girlfriend, or your ex boyfriends, or...what you had to do today."

"Harvey, don't you get it?" She says bitterly, a laugh escaping her that borders on insolence. "If you don't know how you feel about me now, then you'll never figure it out."

"You don't know that."

"Mark knows."

"Donna,"

"No, I'm serious, Harvey." She says. "I'm not saying it to rile you, but he split up with his wife. He apologised, for wanting me on the side, and he wants to be with me."

"Donna, that guy is on the rebound. He's gonna hurt you," He warns then, his face charting the truth of his words.

"And yet, he's told me more, about how he feels about me, in the last hour, than you have in the last thirteen years!" She says.

He clenches his fist, feeling his chest tighten.

"Donna…I know...that...I wanted to hold your hand when I saw you were gonna lose it today." He says. "And I've wanted to put my arms around you, just to bring you comfort for what I know is the hardest thing a person can do their life." He tells her. "And I've wanted to kiss you for about a week, now. But you won't...let me...do any of that." He tells her. "And yet, you let him."

"Because you're still with Paula, Harvey! And I can't be your charity case any longer!"

"Donna, you have never been, nor will you ever be my 'charity case'." He frowns. He hates that she thinks so little of him. Of them. "Look...I know I was angry with you. I was. And I know that we've been in a weird place lately...but after you kissed me...it's changed things, Donna. It changed us. And believe me, I've been trying to figure out why is has, this entire time….but...we're not gonna figure it out if you don't at least let me try."

"Maybe I think that you should know how you feel about me, without having to put me through all of that." She counters.

"Why? You kissed me, to figure out how you felt, when I was with Paula. Why do I have to be any different…?"

"I kissed you, to see if you'd kiss me back, Harvey. And you didn't…" She defends.

"Actually, I did. But you pulled away, and I was in shock, that the most important woman in my life, who had shut down the idea of us over a decade ago, was suddenly kissing me, and not like brother, or cousin, but like a woman that I hadn't so much as touched since I was a rookie Associate. And she chose the one moment, above all the others that we've had, to do it when I was in a relationship with someone else." He pauses, whipping a breath into his lungs. "And then, I come here, to support you, and to figure it all out, and you're...kissing your ex!"

"He kissed me, Harvey." She tells him. "And as for kissing you...I told you...I didn't want to not know how I felt about you, before I lost you."

"Donna...you can't ever lose me. I told you that once before. It's different...with you. It always has been, and it probably always will be." Those words haven't changed their meaning in over two years. It should tell him enough, but he still needs more assurances. "Now...we need to figure this out. Because I put you in a box a long time ago. Because you told me to, and I respected that. But now I…"

"What if I don't want to be part of your 'grand experiment', Harvey. On the the day of my father's funeral?"

"I'm not saying you have to be. But we need to figure this out."

She sighs heavily, her eyes bending to avoid his gaze as she processes every words.

"What if...this..isn't meant to be more than it is?" She offers, her face bending with the possibility of such a thing.

"Then..we've...had a great run. And maybe it'll establish where we stand in eachother's lives. And Mark Meadows is clearly holding a candle for you." He says, with more of an edge to his voice than he'd meant.

"Harvey," She warns, giving him a look.

"Donna...if we're not meant to be together, then don't you think it's time we know either way? For both our sakes?"

She thinks on his words, slumping onto the edge of the bed.

"I guess you're right." She sighs, the truth laying out between them.

"I know you're scared, Donna." He offers, sitting beside her. "I'm scared too."

"Then why do you seem like the calmer one?" She accuses, a smile bending into her fresh face.

"Because your Father just died." He explains softly, his hand sliding to the middle of her back. "And I didn't come here to have it all be about me."

She's sighs, the feeling of his strong hand sliding up and down the middle of her back in smooth waves. She takes in a deep breath, her shoulders evening out.

"That's what I told Mark…" She manages, concentrating the feeling of his hand on her.

"What?" He mumbles, frowning.

"That you...didn't come here, and kiss me in flurry. You've just...been there...for me. All day, no questions asked...you've been a friend to me."

"Just a friend?" He offers, his expression guarded against the gambit of emotions splaying in his gut at all of her of possible answers to his question.

"Harvey. A friend was all I needed today." She says.

He nods thoughtfully, his lips twitching into a pout as his hand stills on her back.

"...that feels good..." She mutters, her eyebrows twitching at the fact.

"Good." He says, a playfulness in his tone as his hand starts to move again, sensing the encouragement in her voice. He watches her blonde lashes flutter closed for a moment, her exhale seeming to rid her of some of the day's difficulties.

"I'm sorry about your Dad." He tells her then.

He's wanted to tell her all day. But something stopped him. Maybe it was the fact that he didn't want to remind her. Didn't want to keep bringing it up.

But he needs her to know...

Her eyes open then, regarding the look in his eyes.

He feels like they've moved back two years, except with the final missing piece of the puzzle.

"You realise, if we're going to figure this out...it's gonna be because you kiss me, and not because I kiss you." She offers, matter of factly.

He gives her a look then, his hand dropping. She's impossible. "You said you didn't want to be part of my 'grand experiment' today. And you were pissed at Mark for kissing you." He remarks, an irk framing his voice. "I was trying to honor that. He defends, limply.

She chuckles then. "I'm starting to realise that you're far too honorable, when it comes to me." She accuses softly, her face leaning in a touch.

"I'm starting to realise, that you run in the opposite direction when you think you feel something for me." He says.

Her mouth hangs open, a restrained sound falling out of it, as she points at him, an objection hanging in her eyes. "We've both done that…" She reminds him.

She's right. Maybe she's right.

He shuffles along the bed then, watching the comical look disappear from her face as she looks into his eyes.

"I'm sorry that I ran to Paula...when I should have given you time to figure things out." He says, planting every word. "I was scared...that you didn't want more."

"I'm sorry...that I never told you what 'more' could be...I didn't want to admit it to myself. I could have prevented...all of this, I guess." She says. "I just...if you love her, Harvey...please. Just let me go."

"I can't. I…" He struggles, the words thick in his mouth. "I can't do that." He tells her.

"Why not, Harvey?"

"You know why."

She shakes her head, and the disappointed look on her face, the last he ever wants to see, that is enough to completely destroy all the walls he's ever built around them.

He grabs her face in his hands, bending down to press his lips against hers. He feels his own breath catch, as his lips push hers apart, his tongue sliding into her warm mouth as one hand drops and he shuffles along the bed, closer towards her. She tastes like toothpaste and smells like oranges, he thinks, as their bodies press together, and she elicits a slight moan. It's like an orange flare right into his night sky, that sound, as his hands slide to her waist, pressing around her hips as he becomes immersed in the act of her kissing him back, her mouth sucking at his top lip, her fingers digging into the cotton of his grey t-shirt with a repressed need suddenly broken open like an easter egg.

All at once, his nipples feel hard, and his skin feels like it's going to light on fire in his groin as his hands press her as close to him as them sitting side by side will allow. She seems to sense the frustration in him, as she slides onto his lap, causing him groan in satisfaction at her second guessing him, his mouth hungrily sucking at hers with a need to keep their connection the same as he leans back, allowing her weight to brace him. Kissing a beautiful woman is different when you're not wearing a suit. In a suit, it's all restriction and a slightly masochistic order of things, where you spend more time enjoying the various stages until you can comfortably reach an end game. Sometimes you make it work, without getting undressed at all. But he's always been a fan of a more sensual experience. And in slacks and a t-shirt...it's all too easy to skip to the end, as he feels his burgeoning erection start to rise against the underside of her thigh as she rocks gently towards his hips.

She slides off her cardigan, as he hears it drop to the floor with a thud. He opens his eyes or a moment, taking in the fact that it's her, and only her, with her slightly wet red hair rippling over one shoulder and her breasts, caught loose and defined underneath her tight shirt. He holds her head, dipping it to meet his so that he can kiss her fully on the mouth, before his lips slide against her collarbone, his hands pressing down her back to receive the closeness that he's so desperate for.

"Harvey," She gasps, feeling his need twitch along the inside of her right thigh, as her hands rake through his still wet hair, her head falling backwards as he sucks at the skin of her flesh. She feels him pause, his hands grabbing at the edges of her top, only to pull it up and over her chest. She heaves a breath, their fingers meeting in the middle, as she throws the material onto the ground, her hair falling behind her back in the process as her hands find his face, tilting it towards him to suck at his charmingly crooked and wholly inviting mouth, before her hands scratch down his back, and she encourages him to rid himself of his own layer of clothing.

He presses them together then, kissing her sternum, before his head tilts, sucking a nipple into his mouth as his hand cups the other breast.

"Oh, fuck," She breathes, her hand kneading the nape of his neck, as he moves his mouth to her other breast. She arches away from him, as he groans again, the feeling of his erection becoming uncomfortable then.

He kisses the valley between her breasts, before his hands slide under her legging covered thighs and lifts her, allowing him to sit backwards. She's rather light for a tall woman, as he drags them both so that they are in the middle of the bed. She notices the change in pace, as she moves off of him, and for a second he frowns at her, before he stretches over her, his lips contacting hers and his fingers sliding in between her own. He raises them above her head as his lips slip to her neck, nipping at the flesh there and then to her shoulder, before sucking at the valley between her breasts once more, and sliding his tongue out of his mouth, to trail it down her stomach, all the way to the waistband of her leggings.

He lets go of her hands then, as his own wrap around the waistband to kiss every piece of her that he exposes, as he peels them off. His delighted to find that she's forgone wearing underwear to bed - just one layer too many for him - and pulls the leggings off of each foot, discarding them onto the floor with all their other clothing.

He pauses, looking at her, as she raises an eyebrow, and like that, they are transported back to the other time. The only other time for them. He had been just as eager back then, he thinks, as he starts at one ankle, and peppers kisses all the way up the calf of each leg until he reaches a thigh. His groin is aching for him to release the tension, but his internal excitement has not been this potent in so long, that he's adamant that he'll take his time.

He doesn't want to think, right now. He just wants to enjoy her.

He watches as she spreads her legs for him, and he feels the impulse to fuck her then and there and forego the foreplay, until he has another flash of the past come to haunt his memories, and he grasps her hips, his mouth sliding against the few blonde curls that she has. He feels her buck against him, a vowel or two flying out of her mouth, as he works a rhythm with his tongue and lips and teeth right against that spot.

Her hands slide across either side of his head, as she moans, and chases his actions, her pelvis tilting against the firm muscular action of his tongue. He remembers the sounds she made, over a decade ago, and yet they are exactly the same. For a second he loses focus, as the realisation dawns on him, that she's always been like this for him. It's never waned in her, and all this time he thought it was lost between them. That they could never get back what they had, so why fight trying to get back there when they had everything anyway? He was a fool, and never so much as in this moment. He was a fool for being in love with her all this time. For wasting them, when he should have fought.

Just like she had told him long ago.

He flicks his attention back into the room at the sound of her voice, thready, and yet falling into a guttural wave of sound.

"H-H-Harvey...harder…" She pants, riding her orgasm, as it intensifies, when he slides two fingers into her. She whimpers, and curses him in the same sentence, and the feeling of her being completely wet and moaning his name out into the air around them, is enough to bring him back. He sucks one last time, just to make sure as she stiffens against him, crying out something strangled and at odds with her being, that she's reached the pinnacle. He smirks in victory, before his own need cries out in his head and he climbs on top of her, one hand sliding around her ribcage, and the other, helping him enter her. He groans, loudly, the tight wetness contracting around him in an instant as he thrusts shallowly, before leaning forward to place a sloppy kiss against her lips that has her arching to kiss him back. She lets go when he thrusts fully into her, a puff of air escaping her at the action, as his hands slide around her hips to gain better purchase. They weren't this pedestrian the last time, but all at once just wants the closeness; to look at her, square in the eye as he fucks her. For there to be no daylight between the sensation that being inside her is giving him, and have him witness their complete undoing. Her hands rake down his stomach, before landing on his shoulders, as he manages to enter her more fully now, having her contract tightly around him in a rhythm that spurs him on.

His eyes finds hers, her flushed cheeks and greeny-hazel eyes showing him that look of lust on her face as he frowns slightly, the pressure starting to build within him.

"Donna," He moans, his breath coming in threads.

She groans at the sound of her own name, causing him to lean closer towards her, and burying himself deeper inside her as her hands fold over his shoulders to encourage the action.

She leans upwards, fusing their mouths together in a hot and sensual kiss that has him thrusting out of rhythm, as he pulls out of her for a second. She looks up at him, smirking through a moan, and he shakes his head, entering her with more force.

"Harvey," She cries out, whimpering then, her fingers digging into the smooth flesh of his arms, as he reaches a faster pace, the sensation within him coming in the most intense waves he thinks he's ever felt in his life. The electric pressure builds in his groin, as his lips finds hers, one more time before his hips jerk, and he empties fully into her as she groans, riding his orgasm against her own.

He is panting heavily and she is thoroughly soaked, and they've just made love - he thinks - on her late Father's bed.

He remains within her, half too scared to ruin the quilt further by pulling out, and half revelling in the feeling of being inside a woman he's been avoiding thinking about for far too long.

He leans against her, their bodies slick and close as he bends down, kissing her soundly, if not a little lazily in their post coital haze.

She kisses him back, her lips swollen, as her hands slide across his face. They remain like that for a moment, living in some strange truth as their eyes connect.

He wants to say it, but he's afraid.

Of tomorrow. Of the next day.

He pulls out of her, in realising that they're not even really in bed, and rolls off of her, to lay on his back to that they are side by side.

"So…" He says, still catching his breath.

"So…" She adds. "That felt like...before."

"I thought it was..better." He counters.

"You did?" She says.

He nods, before looking at the ceiling, and thinking on the moment, as they lay there, completely naked on a ruined bedspread, with the light still on, and probably with her Father watching over, somewhere in the distance. Or at the very least, neighbours in the house next door...

He watches her get up, her pert ass wandering to the bathroom.

He looks about himself, suddenly feeling cold and tired and slightly drunk, still, as he picks up his slacks, pulling them on. He hears the toilet flush, as he sits on the bed. When she reenters the bedroom, he frowns instantly, witnessing a towel, covering her body.

"What is that?" He asks.

"What? It's weird...the light is on..." She excuses. "And you're not exactly naked."

He sits up, beckoning her. "Come here."

She regards him for a moment, a sudden unease flashing on her face.

"Please?" He asks.

Her chin lifts, reticence there as she pads over to him.

He leans forward, pulling her by the arm with a tug so that she drops into his lap.

She smiles lazily, her hands sliding onto his shoulders, as he tilts his head, pressing their lips together.

"Hey…" He says, breaking them apart. "I need to say something...and I just...I know there's a lot going on, but I...I just need to...get it out."

"Okay," She nods, her face suddenly unreadable.

"When we get back to the city...after I've spoken to Paula...I would like to...take some time with you. Just us. And explore...this thing between us."

"Harvey...I'm not gonna be your bit on the side." She says, giving him a heavy look.

"That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying...just us. Two...single people."

Her eyes widen, as she takes in the insinuation, made plain for her slightly blonde moment.

"Oh…" She says, her body softening against him. He watches as she looks down, processing his words.

"I know, you have Mark to think about," He adds, a slight doubt in his words.

"No. I...need to talk to him...but...that's not...at forefront of my mind, right now." She says, her own nuance for him.

He relaxes then. "How about we sleep in the guest bedroom tonight?"

"I think that's a...great idea," She muses, as she climbs off of him, picking up her leggings and her camisole, and holding them against her as she walks.

"You're not actually getting dressed, are you?" He accuses, following her with a confident smirk as he flicks off the light in the room, before exiting.

When he reaches the guest room, she gives him a look, the unevenness of his proposal flashing in her mind. "We're either both dressed, or both naked." She lays the words like a gauntlet.

He smiles widely, sliding his slacks off then. "Naked it is."

She rolls her eyes, tutting just to offset her growing smile, as she lets her clothes and towel drop to the floor.

He follows her to the bed, watching as she pulls back the covers, and slides a hand around her waist, before she can lower herself, kissing her soundly as he presses her against him.

He could go for a second time. But he wagers that she's had a very stressful day. All things considered.

She pulls them apart, her hazel eyes glistening with emotions that they've never admitted to one another before, as he lowers her onto the bed, kissing her once more, before moving to flick off the light off. As the darkness envelopes them, he slides smoothly into bed next to her.

They lay, entangled in one another the entire night. Her hair across his arm, and his arm around her stomach. It's a wholly impractical position, but exactly what they both need it to be.

They both sleep through the night.

Their relationship forever altered.

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The morning sun is etched in violent pink and candied orange clouds, as he looks over at her, in casual dress, scrolling through her messages, the wind in her fire-lit hair, as it blows against the framework of the windows that are rolled down on each side. As he drives them through the growing highrises of the beckoning city that they both have a love affair with, he smiles quietly to himself, thinking just how perfect she looks beside him.

She looks to him then, smirking at the way the shadows catch at the plains of his face, and an intensity draws from within him. How he seems so classic an image, whilst all at once feeling like the rise and fall of the tide. She is like a fisherman, happily lost at sea, in between the waves of his love for her.

It is all encompassing. But nothing less than she imagined it would be.

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A

Sorry about the Beta'ing. It should be fine now. When Prompts run wild!