Where Are You Now?

"Come Josephine in my flying machine - and - it's up she goes - up she - goes" Rose's voice trembled, barely above a whisper as she lay on a piece of debris paneling, twelve and a half thousand feet of black water underneath her. She was in limbo, not dead yet but barely alive. One hand lay strewn across her body, the other clutching onto Jacks as he clung onto the piece of debris. She had been ready to give up, the cold succumbing her, consuming the last of her strength. She had started to say goodbye but Jack had stopped her, he had made her promise that she would survive but he didn't relay the same promise back to her as he had already accepted his fate. He wasn't stupid, he knew it wouldn't be long before the icy cold water would claim him. But Rose, his Rose, had to survive. For both of them. A beam of light bounced across the water and Rose thought she heard a voice. She closed her eyes, trying to focus on her breathing when she heard the voice again and she strained to turn her head, the strands of fire kissed hair frozen to the wood beneath her.

"Is there anyone alive out there? Can anyone hear me?"

It was a boat. Yes. A lifeboat had come back for them just as Jack said it would. Just the sight of it made her feel alive and she fought through the pain as she shook Jack's icy hand, willing him to wake up and see the wonderful sight for himself. They were saved. They would be alright.

"Jack" she murmured. "There's a boat." She paused as he didn't respond straightaway and she shook his hand again, this time with more urgency, a frown overcoming her features. "Jack - Jack - " again he didn't answer her. "Jack, there's a boat - " her heart almost burst as his eyes barely opened, his breath ice cold as he parted his lips ever so slightly. "Oh thank god, Jack, Jack - " Tears escaped the corners of her eyes, sliding down the tip of her nose at the relief to see that he was still with her but he was barely conscious. "Come back. We're here. We're here" she lifted her head, her cries pitiful in the darkness that enveloped them. "Please! We're here! We're here!"

"Come about!" the voice called as the light bounced across the water again and rested on her face, illuminating her as she struggled in desperation to lift her arm to wave at them. "Hold steady! Careful with them oars! Over there!" Rose fixed her eyes on Jack, pleading with God inside her mind to let him live.

Just let him live. God just let him live.

Jack was laughing. She didn't know why he was laughing but she found she was laughing too. They were dancing in the sand, barefoot and spinning around and around until they both toppled over from dizziness. They lay there side by side staring at the cloudless sky and she was so happy. She wanted the world to stop then and bottle that feeling. She wanted to stay this way forever. Her happiness was cut short as a hand gently touched her cheek, stirring her from her slumber. One of the sailors loomed above her, a young lad no more than her age, his eyes wide and haunted as he tried to rouse her.

"Miss please" he said and she raised her eyes to see that the lifeboat was precariously close to the black hull of a steamer ship. For a moment she thought it was Titanic and she clutched the blanket wrapped around her but the fog cleared as she read the name of the ship, Carpathia, printed in gold letters. "Miss, you have to get up."

"Jack - " she looked around in a panic and saw that he wasn't there. "Jack - where's Jack?"

"It's alright now" an older sailor stepped forward and took her hand. She leant onto him heavily for support as he helped her onto trembling legs and he waved at someone above. "Alright now Miss, you're far too weak to climb that rope ladder so we're going to put you into a cargo net and the men will lift you on board. Don't you worry, you'll be perfectly safe." Rose, still in a haze of confusion and trauma at the events that unfolded only a few hours ago, barely registered what was going on as she was bundled into a cargo net and lifted promptly into the cargo bay. As soon as her feet touched the solid wooden planks, her legs gave way and she was caught in the arms of a sailor. With the help of a steward, she was helped above to the deck, laid out on a deckchair and covered in blankets. Rose was numb, not just from the cold but as the events of the last few hours started to hit home, she stared wordlessly at the women and children around her, some just as silent as she was, others weeping.

"Ma'am, can I please take your name?" the steward asked but Rose was unresponsive and he hesitated, not sure whether or not to leave.

"Back to your duties Edward, I'll tend to this young woman" Marion, a heavyset matron employed by the Cunard Line, came forward and he nodded as he tried to hold his nerve as he rushed back to the cargo bay to help with the other survivors. "What's your name dear?"

"I - " Rose tried to form words but her mind was blank and the matron could see the trauma in her eyes.

"It's alright, you don't have to speak just now dear. Now you drink some of this up, now won't you like a good love?" she placed a mug of hot soup in Rose's hands and she rushed off to tend to someone else. Rose brought the mug to her chapped lips, sipping the hot soup in tiny amounts as she tried to stop herself from shaking. She didn't know it but she was going into shock and her entire body was trying to cope with the stress. She wanted Jack.

"Good, that's good" the matron returned a short time later as she watched Rose drink the soup.

" - there was a man - he was with me - " Rose tried to explain but her voice cracked and her face crumpled.

"Ssshhh, don't weep my dear, the men are doing everything they can" she rubbed Rose's shoulder, trying to comfort her the best she could.

"Jack - he has to be on this ship somewhere - please you have to find him" Rose opened her eyes, her voice more coherent now and she saw the look of doubt pass over the matron's face.

"They're doing everything they can" she repeated. "Get some rest" Marion lifted her skirts and Rose sank back into the deckchair, despair in her heart.