Hello! I decided to create an angsty one-shot because—as most of my readers know by now—I love dark fics. I hope you enjoy this as much as I loved writing it! And I hope it doesn't give you too hard of feels, maybe a few tears would be nice so I know I did a good job. ;)
*Warning for major character death*
Perhaps it was a dream, she thought. Perhaps if she pinched herself, she would wake up. But she didn't want to wake up. She wanted to stay in this dream world forever where she wasn't the savior. Where she was happy. Where Regina was alive. If she could just stay here forever, she'd never have to say goodbye.
"Emma, you have to go back." Soft hands stroked golden locks, comforting her though she knew soon they would be gone.
Emma's answer to that was to snuggle farther into Regina's embrace. She was so life-like, so real, that it hurt. Because she knew once she woke, Regina would be buried 6-feet underground.
She could still remember the day—it all happened so fast. Memories flashed through her mind like a home movie.
"Where are we going again?" Regina asked as they climbed into the VW bug.
"It's called a Rage Room," Emma answered, pumping the gas pedal until the engine finally turned over and began to hum. It never ran great in the wintertime.
"Is this some kind of sick joke? Did your mother suggest this because of last week?"
Emma chuckled and kissed her wife's gloved hand. "No, of course not. I'm sure she's forgotten all about that."
Regina merely scoffed in disbelief. Tensions had been high between Snow White and the mayor ever since they both had brought homemade lasagna to Granny's dinner party. Emma knew her mother meant it as a display of affection, as she had used Regina's recipe, but Regina saw it as stepping on her turf. Lasagna was her specialty. A few curse words and threats of poisoned food may have been mentioned, and the two were doing their best to avoid each other.
Regina soon lightened up as they arrived at their destination and Emma began showing her the ropes. A man Regina didn't recognize approached them, and a flicker of irritation returned as she watched her wife embrace him warmly.
"Emma, good to see you. Back so soon?" The man teased.
"I can't pass up the chance to use my 50% off coupon, now can I?" The blonde teased right back.
The man quickly noticed Regina and offered her a warm smile. "You must be the lovely wife." He kissed her hand. "As well as our esteemed mayor. I'm Keith. I would offer to show you how it's done, but Emma's been here enough times I trust her to walk you through it."
Soon, Emma was suited up and helping Regina into her gear. "Don't you look adorable?" The blonde cooed as she straightened the goggles on her face.
Regina swatted her away only to be pulled into a searing kiss. She could never resist her beautiful wife, and soon the silly comment was forgotten as skillful hands roamed. The sound of shattering glass interrupted them, and the both jumped back.
"How often do you come here?" Regina asked as two plates whipped out of Emma's hands and shattered against the metal wall in front of them. So far, she had gathered the only action to this activity was to destroy glass dinnerware by throwing them against the wall. It didn't seem to be something she would particularly enjoy, but her wife seemed to from the way she smiled as the plates and cups shattered with a satisfying crack.
"About once every other week." Emma paused to offer her a devilish grin. "Every day back when you hated me."
Regina's response to that was to grab a plate and hurl it against the wall as hard as she could. Hey, maybe she could start to enjoy this after all. It wasn't as satisfying as crushing hearts, but it was an excellent stand-in activity. "I never hated you. All I wanted was to get you in my bed."
Emma quirked an eyebrow at her. "So the poison apple turnover meant to kill me was your way of seduction?"
Regina threw a cup this time, not nearly as hard, and gave a little shrug as her mouth turned downwards into a pout. "I would have brought you back."
"How?"
"With True Love's kiss, of course." Plum-colored lips parted to reveal sparkling white teeth to compliment her smirk.
Screw the coupon, Emma thought as she pulled her wife in for another kiss and began removing their gear, oblivious to the sudden silence and unseen eyes turned on them.
"Easy, Emma!" Regina laughed as her wife pulled her into the VW and laid her in the backseat, peppering her with kisses as she tugged at her clothes.
Emma paused her playful movements and pulled back, emerald eyes full of love and desire gazing down at sparkling, chocolate brown eyes. "I love you so much, Regina Mills."
Regina's nose scrunched up and a blush heated up her cheeks. "Swan-Mills. And I love you." She expected the blonde to start kissing her again, but instead her gaze was fixed on the nearby window.
"Emma…" That was the last thing Regina got out before everything exploded.
Tires screeched, glass shattered, metal crumpled and bent like plastic. Regina felt the weight of her wife on top of her before she felt nothing at all. She opened her eyes and sat up, feeling strangely disconnected from everything. Maybe it was shock. The car was right side up after obviously having rolled over multiple times, blood coated the tan vinyl seats, and smoke billowed from the hood. Another car was totaled nearby, and sirens could be heard in the distance.
Emma began to stir, deep cuts and large bruises covering her body from being slammed from the backseat into the front from the force of the impact. She blinked a few times before noticing Regina next to her, who had been thrown around a bit as she had hit the back window. She crawled over to her and cradled the older woman in her arms. "Oh no! Regina, please no! Baby stay with me please!"
Regina moved to comfort her, but the words died on her lips as she turned around. She was looking upon herself. Cuts littered her body and glass was imbedded in her skin. The most significant damage was the deep laceration on her forehead from where she hit the window. But the most terrifying feature of all was her eyes. They held no life as they gazed upward into nowhere. Emma's cries of pain saddened her whole soul, which is all she had left now.
Sobs wracked Emma's body as she clutched onto her wife, who, moments ago, had been full of life. Her whole body ached and her head throbbed and swam as she fought to stay conscious. "I love you, please come back!"
"I am, Baby. I am," Regina spoke on deaf ears as Emma kissed her over and over in the hopes their love would be enough. Then she was being engulfed in a bright white light she had no control over.
Then Emma was there too and for a fleeting second, everything was okay again.
It turns out, Emma never woke up from surgery. One minute she was being surrounded by doctors and medical equipment, and the next she was face-to-face with her wife as doctors were declaring her brain dead and in a coma.
"Emma!" Regina rushed forward and embraced her tightly. Emma held her close, relishing in the feel of holding her wife again. She didn't have much of a choice when they were being hauled away on separate gurneys.
Regina pulled back, her dark brown eyes shining with tears. "You're not dead, are you?"
Emma shook her head. "I don't think so, but I'm not sure." She glanced around to see they were in a medieval castle.
Regina noticed her curiosity and smiled. "This is where I have always wanted to take you. I just never had the opportunity."
They were in a throne room. Red carpets were rolled underneath their feet over stone floors, stained-glass windows allowed sunlight to filter in, portraits of generations passed covered the stone walls with torches to light them, and two silver thrones set in the center of the back wall. The view was breathtaking, as the only time Emma ever had gotten to see it, it was in shambles.
"What is this place?" Emma mused aloud, their current predicament momentarily forgotten as she gazed at their surroundings with wide eyes.
Regina sat upon the throne closest to them, looking very much like her regal counterpart whom Emma had the chance to meet once thanks to a random portal appearing in thin-air in Storybrooke which then sucked her into the past. "Technically, this is my castle. Upon inspecting our former dilemma, this is some sort of in-between spirit world."
"How do you know this isn't the afterlife?" Emma questioned, trying to wrap her mind around the concept.
Regina motioned for her wife to come sit with her. Emma did so, sitting sideways on her lap and curling her legs underneath her as she laid her head on the older woman's chest. She frowned as she couldn't hear nor feel a heartbeat beneath the plum silk shirt she was wearing, the same as when they crashed.
Regina wrapped her arms around her troubled wife and held her closer. "Only one of us died in that accident, my love. There's a white light in front of the window that wasn't there before you appeared, and I can hear Henry talking to you through it."
Emma ignored the light beckoning her into it and strained her ears to hear their son. Soon, the little boy could be heard as if he was there with them, his voice echoing throughout the chamber.
"Hi, Ma. I hope you can hear me. Grandma says you can, but Dr. Whale doesn't think so. He says you'll never wake up, but I know you will. Um, my birthday party was good, it would have been better if you and Mom were here, but I still had fun."
Emma lifted her head off her wife's chest to look into her eyes. Birthday party? It was late spring when they crashed. It couldn't be August already, could it? Emma had just got here. Regina's eyes showed the same confusion, but they didn't say a word as their son continued to speak.
"I got a B on my science test. It was just a pre-test to see what we know for the new school year, but the flash cards you and Mom helped me make and go over in the summer really helped." The boy was silent for a long while, and the women thought he might have left, but he spoke again. This time, his voice was filled with emotion, and it was apparent he was trying not to cry. It slowly began to rain as his voice filled the space around them.
"I miss you. I miss Mom. I miss us being a family. It's not fair that I lost my dad and now I lost both of you. I always thought fate played for good, but I guess sometimes fate is cruel. I didn't even go to Mom's funeral because I was so afraid you would die while I was gone. You know, people die of broken hearts once their partner has died and stuff. But you're still here. So I know you have to be in there somewhere. I know you can hear me." The boy then burst into tears and quiet voices attempted to calm him down.
Unable to deal with the emotions brought on by their son's distress, Emma wished them to be somewhere else. When she opened her eyes, she found them upon her old childhood bed in her first good foster home. Though she was only 5 and the size of a toddler, she was given a big double bed, perfect for them to cuddle on. She was dismayed to see that bright white light inside the closet, attempting to draw her in and leave this world behind.
"I know you see it," Regina whispered softly, laying a feather-light kiss on her temple.
Emma knew she was meant to go into it. Once she crossed the threshold, she would wake from her coma and go back to the real world. Back to being Emma Swan—Savior, Sheriff, Daughter, Mother. But she didn't want to go back, to live in the real world, if Regina wasn't in it.
"Emma." Regina tilted her chin up, forcing her to meet their eyes. "Henry can't lose both of us."
Tears filled Emma's eyes and a choked sob escaped her throat. "But I can't lose you."
Seeing her pain mirrored in Regina's eyes, Emma knew she understood. Regina pulled her close once more, shushing her and rubbing her back the way she used to do when Emma would wake in the middle of the night due to nightmares. "Alright, just a little longer. Just a little longer."
Once Emma's sobs had quieted down, Regina thought of a wonderful idea to cheer her up. Glancing down at her wife, she saw her eyes were closed and her breathing was even. She knew she couldn't be sleeping since this was a subconscious world, and she gently nudged her. As soon as Emma opened her eyes, she was swept off her feet bridal style by Regina, who kissed her deeply.
Once they had both run out of air due to their passionate kissing, Emma was set on her feet. Regina had transported them to her ballroom and changed them into the dresses they had worn for their wedding. Emma's was a regal red with thick red strips on the shoulders, a low-cut v neck line, and silver sequins decorated the bottom and glimmered in the luminescent light. She had opted out of a white dress—white was for virgins, which their son was living proof of her non-virginity.
Regina was wearing a white dress with lace sleeves, cut off at the shoulders and twisting along the bottom to make it flow. Emma thought she looked far more beautiful than she the second time around, though the look Regina was giving her indicated she thought different.
"Do you still remember those dance lessons I signed us up for?" Regina asked as she pulled Emma close and began to sway across the glass dance floor.
Emma chuckled and narrowly missed stepping on her wife's foot, missing it just as Regina stepped to the side in time with the piano music playing softly in the background. "How could I forget? I had blisters on my feet the day of our wedding."
The music was interrupted by Snow's voice echoing around them. Emma slowed as the white light appeared on her left, and she quickly moved over to a window seat to put as much distance between her and it as possible. Regina sat beside her and stroked her thumb over her knuckles soothingly.
"Hi, sweetie. I brought Henry's card in today, he's still pretty upset."
The room began to rain confetti, and Emma assumed it was because Snow was showing her the card Henry had made. Strange how outside events were affecting her subconscious.
"We all miss you, sweetie. I'm not giving up hope, though it seems almost everyone else has. I know you're in there. I just—I'm dreading having to tell you about Regina once you wake up, since you probably won't remember us talking to you. I wanted to apologize and tell her I'm sorry, if you're anywhere near her. I never should have made that lasagna. I was just trying to show her I loved her."
Regina smiled over at Emma, the once-serious fight seeming nothing but petty now. What she wouldn't give to be alive and fighting with Snow over food recipes and who takes care of Emma the best. All those little things she took for granted seemed most important now. And what scared her, what Emma didn't realize, is she was slowly forgetting her time on Earth. Little memories like Emma's favorite ice cream flavor, or the color of their son's eyes, were slowly slipping away from her the more time she spent here. And that was why she wasn't pushing for Emma to go back. She didn't want to be forget. She didn't want to be alone.
"I love you so much, honey. Your father does too. He doesn't visit quite as often and he feels bad, but with him dealing with the station and the trial, I'm taking care of your brother." Little coos could be heard coming from an infant. "He's getting so big, Emma. And he looks so much like you. You have the same eyes."
Snow's voice faded away, and Emma realized the reason she hadn't heard her father and things seemed to skip around is because it took energy to listen to the voices. Regina noticed her energy waning and transported them to the den in their house, stretching out on the loveseat in front of the fireplace and pulling Emma against her.
"Did it hurt?" Emma asked quietly, eyes closed to regain her energy. She didn't want to know, not really, but she needed to know. She needed this closure.
Regina ran her fingers through her golden curls, memorizing the feel of her soft hair and the weight of her body against hers. "No. I just remember you on top of me, then you weren't. Then I was… looking down at myself. Looking down at you. Wishing I could turn back time."
A lone tear slid from Emma's eye and down her cheek. "I tried to shield you. I saw the car headed toward us, I knew it wasn't going to stop. But I couldn't."
"Emma Swan-Mills, look at me." Regina wiped the tear off her cheek and rubbed it onto the loveseat.
The blonde did so, never wanting to lose being able to look upon her beautiful wife again.
"This is our fate. You need to go back to Henry and put whoever did this in jail for a very long time. Your family needs you—Snow, David, your brother. Just because we are apart doesn't mean I will ever stop loving you. I will be here waiting for you."
Finally, Emma relented, knowing this is what she was meant to do. It was selfish of her to stay when she knew she needed to go. She glanced at the white light covering the book case and approached it, allowing her fingertips to graze the white light, finding it was warm and tingly, like her magic. Like the love she and Regina shared.
"Where will you go?" Emma asked as Regina put an arm around her waist.
"I have a light of my own, my love. I have people waiting for me. My father, my mother, Rociante, Daniel."
At the mention of her wife's deceased lover, a nervous look appeared on Emma's face. Regina cupped her cheek, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "You are my True Love, now and forevermore. No one can replace you."
Emma leaned in to kiss her one last time, inhaling her taste, her scent, her feel. "I love you," she whispered as Regina pulled back for a mere second. When their lips reconnected, they were both engulfed by the white light, one heart beating, the other still, but the love they felt surrounding them. Regina's hands holding her close were the last thing Emma felt before she was swept away into the real world.
"Gina." Her eyes weren't open, but she could hear a steady beeping coming from a machine as well as the whir of an oxygen machine that was helping her breathe.
"Dr. Whale!" A soft voice called out, sounding a million miles away and close by all at once.
Then her eyes were being forced open one-by-one as a light was shined into them. Emma winced and pulled away, the brightness of it irritating her unlike the warm light she had passed through to come back to herself.
"Miss Swan, can you hear me? Miss Swan, open your eyes."
Emma forced herself to do so, her brain tricking her into thinking that it was Regina talking to her, coaxing her. Instead of coming face-to-face with her wife, however, she was met with Dr. Whale and her mother.
"Gina," she croaked, her throat dry and her tongue feeling like sandpaper. How long had she been out?
"Easy, Emma. Stay still," Whale prompted as she attempted to sit up and look for her wife. She was just right here. Where had she gone?
Soon, she was being hugged by her mother and father as others crowded into the room to witness her awakening. "Oh sweetie, we're so glad you're okay!" Snow cried, kissing her cheek and trying not to squeeze her too tightly.
Emma's confusion drifted away as soon as she heard her son's voice. "Mom!" He cried, running into the room and hugging her, a smile on his voice and tears in his eyes. "You're okay!"
Despite her emotions, Emma hugged her son back. "Yeah, kid. I'm okay."
"Okay as someone who survived a coma-inducing car accident can be. You are very lucky to be alive, Miss Swan. Medically, this should be impossible." Whale flipped over charts and stats, puzzled at how she seemed to be talking and moving normally after being declared brain dead months ago.
Snow sat next to her daughter and took her hand. "Do you remember what happened?"
Emma fought to think. Everything was fuzzy, as if she had been drinking when it happened and was just waking up from a bad hangover. "I remember being with Regina in my car."
"You were hit by a drunk driver. Leroy had walked off his job and drank a flask of whiskey, thinking he was okay to drive." Snow's eyes filled with tears as she spoke. "He walked away from the accident with a broken arm. You never woke up from surgery, and Regina…"
"Regina's okay, Mom." Emma laid her hand over her mother's and offered her a small smile.
Snow shook her head, not understanding what her daughter was talking about and assuming she didn't know what had happened. "No sweetie, she's not—"
"She isn't mad about the lasagna anymore." Emma turned to her son. "And she—we—are very proud of you for getting a B on that science test."
Henry's face lit up with pure happiness. "I knew you could hear me!"
Months later, Emma was in the last stages of recovery. Her broken collarbone and ankle had healed, though the damage to her tendon left her with a cane to use. She liked to think she rocked it better than Gold as she paraded around town with the jeweled item and swinging it around like a sword with Henry when she was in her more playful mood. Her spine was still healing, as she had cracked multiple vertebrae and had come close to not being able to walk at all. The bruises were almost gone, fading into a yellowish hue. Leroy was in prison for life far away from Storybrooke, his punishment agreed on by everyone in the town as they had all come to respect and befriend the Ex-Evil Queen. Emma would have chronic pain for the rest of her life, but that she could live with.
It was the emotional pain that kicked her down most. The reminders that Regina was truly gone. The empty side of their queen bed, the extra kitchen chair they hadn't taken away from the table yet, her jewelry and clothes that hung in the closets, even her office had been sealed and restricted to public use, though Emma visited now and again just to relive the memories they had created there. Henry was the one thing that kept her truly going, wanting to live after she was given this second chance.
"Are you okay, Mom?" Henry slipped his hand into hers and helped guide her along. It was the question she was asked every day, and instead of annoying her like it did when everyone else asked, it warmed her heart to know that he cared.
"I'm a fighter, kid. I'll be fine." Emma pulled her son close as they walked through the rows of tombstones, taking the time to respect each one as they passed.
They arrived at the one with the most flowers and trinkets and stood side-by-side, staring wordlessly at the name engraved into the stone. Emma had made it a habit to visit every day just to tell Regina how things were going, even if it was just the tiniest of information. She wanted Regina to know she hadn't forgotten about her.
Henry spread out the blanket they had brought and sat on top of it, helping Emma down to join him. Then, he proceeded to begin the hour of visiting they would spend here. As her son talked, Emma swore she could have felt a kiss on her cheek as the wind blew, the voice of Regina in her ear. She leaned into the phantom feelings, her heart confirming what she knew to be true. Regina hadn't forgotten about her, either. And the pain hurt a little less.
This broke my heart to write, but I hope you all enjoyed… or, well, appreciated the angst, cause who can enjoy a story like this?! Anyways, go ahead and leave a review if you like. See you all in my next fic!