Careless Whisper

Should've known better than to cheat a friend
And waste the chance that I've been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you

Time can never mend
The careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind
Ignorance is kind
There's no comfort in the truth
Pain is all you'll find

Ross sent a note Hugh to meet him at the Red Lion. It had been weeks since that night when it appeared Demelza was swept away by the young man Ross had inadvertently rescued. And in those weeks, he and Demelza had worked slowly and painfully back towards each other again. The lines of communication that were frayed began to reconnect with small attempts at eliminating the secrets that caused the divide in the first place. He had finally told her of his visit to Sawle Church where he met Elizabeth, unexpectedly. He told her of the conversation he had with her, leaving out the details regarding Valentine's parentage; there was no need to say the words out loud. Ross believed his wife's instinct had zoned in on the possible truth and that was enough. What he did make clear, in their discussions, was that she should not have believed Prudie's telling of what she thought she saw and he said the same to the longtime servant. That assumption led to another breach which Ross knew could have been eliminated. That being neither here nor there, both agreed that to start fresh, secrets on both sides needed to be revealed. While specifics of her day out with her visitor were again not required, Demelza did show her husband the various poems Hugh had sent her that led to her encounter.

When he read them Ross could see why she would be swayed and affected. These words were things he could never think of even if they were not specifically about her. The fact that another man could touch his wife's soul in such a manner was perhaps more hurtful than any physical act. For the first time, he understood what Demelza meant when she mentioned secret smiles and meetings in talking about Elizabeth. For ten years he had often been unfaithful to her in thought if not action. The realization of his own faults, made his taking her in his arms the night she returned an automatic response. Now they had both wounded the other in some form. Did that make them equals or fools?

Ross looked up when he heard a footstep to see Armitage standing over him. Nothing was said as the tall young man took a seat opposite his rival.

"Ross. I was surprised to get your message," Hugh started.

"Were you? Did you expect a calling out for pistols at dawn instead?"

The attempt at humor fell flat as both knew that is was closer to the truth than it should have been.

"If that were the case, then the matter would have ended quickly as you would have had the advantage," Hugh replied.

Ross thought for a minute about what he was referring to and he remembered that Demelza told him Armitage was losing his eyesight.

"Perhaps. However, it seems you had the advantage as well," Ross answered with just a tinge of bitterness.

"Only for a short time. The long term advantage is yours. If you choose to keep it."

Ross looked directly at Hugh and without any hesitation responded.

"I do choose so. Now and forever."

Hugh acknowledged this with a slight nod as if accepting defeat. Deep down, he knew he would never have Demelza's heart fully but did Ross know that?

"I have to ask Ross. Why did you not fight for her before now? Why did you make it seem you didn't care what she did? Is that what marriage is like? Do couples after so many years, just sit back and let others pick up where they leave off?"

His question was sincere for Hugh truly wanted to know why, if Ross Poldark so loved his wife, did he let her go? If only for a day?

"Your insolence is not appreciated, Armitage. But if you must know, the answer to that is no. I didn't just sit back. I thought Demelza would realize how much I love her."

"Then you're the fool, Ross," Hugh said.

"How so? To expect my wife to know that she is loved? How is that foolish?"

Hugh was amazed at this man's ignorance where it came to his own wife.

"You didn't love Demelza when you married her, correct?" he asked.

Ross was now curious as to how much Demelza had shared of their private life with this person. What did she tell Armitage that might have painted him and their marriage in a bad light?

"No. I did not love her when we married. I fell in love with her afterward," Ross admitted.

"And is she now the same woman you married? Although she wasn't really a woman was she? She was a child," Hugh said.

"I am beginning to resent this dialogue, Armitage. I did not ask to meet you so that you could interrogate me on my marriage or my feelings for my wife. But since you asked, yes, Demelza was young, certainly not a child. And she knew her own mind, even then."

Ross took a sip of his drink and motioned for the barkeep to send another.

"Why did you want to meet me, Ross?"

Waiting for the drinks to be replenished, Ross kept his eyes on his companion, looking for something that would tell him why Demelza had feelings for him.

"I wanted to know what your feelings are towards my wife," Ross said taking another drink.

"What are your own feelings for her?" Hugh countered.

"I'm in love with her Armitage. I have been for almost ten years. Are you?"

"Am I what?" Hugh asked Ross.

"In love with my wife?"

Hugh thought about the question and how to answer it. He knew that the truth might satisfy Ross but could put Demelza in a bad light. Nonetheless, the truth was the only way to answer.

"No, I'm not," he stated simply.

Ross was not expecting that answer and now his arguments to fight for Demelza's honor and their marriage needed to be done differently.

"So why did you pursue her? Was it a game?" Ross was trying desperately to control his anger.

"Far from it. I said I wasn't in love with Demelza. But I do love her. I admire the woman she projects and the person she is. But I'm not in love with her," he explained.

Ross said nothing as he gathered his thoughts. Hugh went on.

"I'm not in love with her because it was clear she was never going to be in love with me. That, my friend, is reserved for you."

Ross was taken aback by this statement. What the hell was Armitage about?

"Again I ask, Armitage, what was it about my wife that set you on a course to have her?"

"Don't you know, Ross? You've been married to her for almost a decade and you need to ask me what it is about Demelza that would make anyone want to be with her? Dr. Enys says I'm the one losing my sight but perhaps you are truly the one who's blind."

Ross had no response to that for it was clear that over the past year, Hugh's observation was correct. All the things that he had fallen in love with, he had somehow taken for granted. Demelza's generosity of mind and spirit; her love for their home, their children, their friends; her patience where his reckless and arrogant behavior was concerned. But more than anything it was her love for him. In that, he saw the love in himself and knew that he could give as good as he got.

"She's a beautiful woman, Ross. But it was not her outward beauty that drew me to her. I had never met someone who, just by being in their presence, made me want to be a better person. I didn't set out to pursue her, as you assume. However, when I saw that she seemed lonely and perhaps even unhappy, I did set out to right that wrong. Demelza is like a rare flower. She needs to be nurtured and cared for. She needs to be tended to so that she doesn't wither. Admiring her from afar is all well and good, but even the rarest plants need to be held, caressed. Loved."

Hugh's eyes seemed to glisten with unshed tears as he remembered his time with Demelza. Ross stared at him as he spoke, seeing his wife as someone else did. The old adage seemed to be true in this instance: you never know what you have until it's almost lost to you. Of course, Ross knew that all these things Armitage spoke of were true. He knew Demelza better than anyone and yet, he seemed to forget to tell her. Or show her.

"So you, in your young and infinite wisdom, thought to correct something I had mucked up? You intended to show my wife what I was lacking in terms of being a husband to her? And, if my instincts are correct regarding recent events, you seem to have accomplished that," Ross said.

He couldn't hide his resentment and didn't feel he should have to.

"In a way. What Demelza and I shared was something that fulfilled both of us at a time that we needed it. She told me who truly had her heart, Ross, yet that person was not caring for it so I did. As she did mine. I will always remember her with love but I never hoped I would take her away from the place she belonged. Or from the person she belonged to."

"You make her sound like a prize to be won," Ross said harshly.

"Isn't she? Isn't she someone to treasure and hold dear until your last day? Is that not a prize?"

Ross shook his head for in this brief conversation he heard why Demelza could be taken in by this man. The words he used to speak of Demelza moved even his cynical heart.

"She is, Armitage. She is all that you say and more. For almost ten years she has been my friend, my wife, the mother of my children, my lover, and my conscience. At times she knows me better than I know myself and in those instances, I should listen to her advice but often times, don't. Those are the times I regret most because they usually end up hurting one or both of us. You know she warned me about you. From the first time you met when we were together at Lord Basset's. She told me you were paying her more attention than others and I dismissed it. Not because I didn't believe her for men always flock and fall over themselves where Demelza is concerned. But because I didn't know how to compete."

Now Hugh was the one taken by surprise.

"Why would you feel the need to compete? You had her Ross. She was yours to keep," Hugh said.

"Or lose."

The men looked at each and silently understood what was being related.

"I could lose her if I didn't respond correctly. I am not so glib as you Armitage and more times than not, I put my foot in my mouth. So I keep silent. Hoping that my feelings will be felt without the need for words."

"I think you misjudged yourself this time. And you misjudged Demelza. All she wanted was to know that you still loved her and cared what she was feeling."

"I know that now. After the fact."

Ross contemplated where the conversation had just led and he wondered if he should ask Armitage what Demelza refused to answer. He thought better of it and decided to leave that topic alone. What good would it do to know what actually happened? There was no need for him to see that in his mind's eye. Enough had been said already to make it clear that Demelza was loved by two men, but that only one had her heart fully. It was ironic that Ross was now fighting for his wife's love as she had done during the entire term of their marriage where Elizabeth was concerned.

"I can't believe I'm about to say this but thank you, Armitage," Ross said.

Hugh sat there, expecting to be punched but instead saw a hand extended from across the table.

"For what?"

"For loving my wife."

Hugh sat back in his chair and stared at Ross. What did that mean?

"I'm sorry I don't understand. Are you thanking me for being with your wife? Is this some new social grace I am unaware of?"

Ross took another sip of his drink and smiled.

"Far from it. I don't want to know the extent of your relationship with my wife. However, your attention to her led her back to me. After whatever happened that day, Demelza returned to me. At that point, we had both hurt each other so badly we were broken to the point that I thought we could not repair the damage. And yet, here we are. Still mending but strong in the faith of our love. If I had not almost lost her, I would not have found her again."

Hugh closed his eyes as he let Ross's statement sink in.

"Are you alright Armitage?" Ross asked thinking that the strain of the meeting was taking its toll.

The young man opened his eyes and looked at Ross, squinting slightly due to the strain.

"I'm fine Ross. But I do think I need to go. My condition has worsened now that headaches accompany my poor eyesight."

Hugh rose slowly and Ross followed. The men stood, assessing each other once more before parting company.

"If you don't mind my asking. Does Demelza know we've met?"

"Yes. We keep no secrets from each other. She knows. And I'm sure she's anxious that I don't take any animosity out on you," Ross said lightly.

"I'm grateful you didn't. Besides, my time on this earth is short so it would be a waste of a good jab," Hugh joked.

"How do you mean?" Ross asked.

"Enys told me on my last visit that the blindness is just a symptom of something worse. Something that cannot be cured. So you see, this meeting came just in time before I could no longer travel or partake of such pleasantries."

"I'm sorry Armitage. I had no idea. Does Demelza know?"

Ross was newly concerned that Armitage's deteriorating condition would lead to new feelings of pity from Demelza.

"No, she does not. And I would prefer she not know. Not until my time draws near. And I hope, when that time comes you'll allow her to visit me once more."

The plea was sincere and Ross couldn't deny the request.

"I shall make sure we both attend if that would be acceptable?"

Hugh smiled and took Ross's hand, holding it lightly.

"Most assuredly so."

The men separated. Hugh turned and exited the inn as Ross stood watching. He had set up this meeting ready to tell Hugh how much he hated him but instead, would come away from it understanding Demelza and even himself better. He must be getting old, he thought, for in the past, a meeting like this would surely have ended in fisticuffs. Now all Ross wanted to do was to get home to his wife. He knew that they still had a long road to travel before fully returning to the couple they were before. But he was confident that this time, nothing would taint it. Not Elizabeth, or Hugh or any other ghost of the past. Now it was about them. Their togetherness. Their love.