Sorry for the delay! I hope this somewhat makes up for it. I have some other things I'm working on too, so stay tuned.

P.S. I wish this was my sex life.

She meant to get up to towel off and think through this. That's all she meant to do. But the next thing she knew, she was on the bathroom counter with her legs around Elliot's head, his mouth devouring her clit in ways she didn't know was possible. His hands groped and massaged her breasts possessively as he swirled his tongue around her clit, up and down through her slit, then took her with his lips and sucked. Her core was already swollen from the shower and she was approaching another orgasm fast. He pinched her nipple and brought one hand down to her entrance, but she shook her head and breathed out, "No."

Elliot looked up at her, his mouth and chin glistening with her juices. She brought her hands to his face and lifted him up. When he was standing, she tugged on his hard cock and pulled him in closer. He leaned into her when she lined him up to her entrance, feeling her breasts against his chest.

Her lips were at his ear when she whispered, "Like this."

She pulled him into her with her legs wrapped around him and they sighed as he filled her once again. Elliot sucked lightly on her neck while he found a steady pace, leaning into her so he knew he was hitting her clit with every thrust. Feeling like he couldn't get close enough to her, he picked her up with his hands firmly holding her thighs and he stood with his cock completely hidden in her wetness. He stilled as he looked at the image in the mirror, amazed that he woman he was holding was Olivia Benson. He thought he was going to explode at the vision of his hands groping her perfect legs, spreading her ass for an unearthly view.

Olivia let out a frustrated whimper. "Elliot…" she moaned. But when he still didn't move, she flexed her own hips up, moving her core up his shaft and simultaneously grinding her clit against his lower abdomen. The movement also activated her kegel muscles in a new way, giving her a different sensation that caused her to gasp. She did it again, sliding up and down Elliot's still body, this time causing him to groan with her.

Elliot started to move, lifting her hips to thrust her back down.

But she stopped him when her own movements were stronger than his. She took control, using every muscle in her body to grind herself up and down Elliot. Her muscles clenched around him with every movement upwards, her walls scaled along his thick cock and her clit was constantly rubbing against him.

Elliot had to close his eyes or he would come right then at the sight of Olivia's strength and sexiness as she took her pleasure into her own hands. Her core was so fucking wet and tight around him as she squeezed him each time she slid up.

His legs felt weak as he felt himself approach his climax. He stepped forward to set her back down on the counter.

"Don't move," she whispered. She held his head against hers and she smiled as she continued to seek the friction pleasuring her entire body. "Don't. Fucking. Move."

"Liv…" he breathed out. "I'm gonna…"

"Yes!" she said a little louder. "God, yes!" she moved faster now. And he was amazed at her strength. Her voice was louder as she continued to affirm the position. "Fuck, yes! Yes! Oh god!"

He felt her clenching around him spastically and she lost her ability to move up and down as she came hard. He took over for her and slid her up and down with his own strength as she held onto him with her arms tightly around his neck. He had no choice but to—very ungracefully—put her back on the counter as he spilled into her, thrusting as his cock continued feeling her walls grasp him. He rubbed her clit with his thumb to make sure she rode her orgasm to the end.

Even when he was done, he noticed her curses of pleasure hadn't ended and he brought his head back to see that her eyebrows were still furrowed and her moans still loud as his thumb massaged her and her pussy continued to spasm. He smiled, quickly slid out of her and replaced his thumb with his tongue and his dick with his fingers. He shook his head back and forth and curled his two fingers as he slid in and out so as to give her the most sensation he possibly could.

"OH FUCK!" she yelled, knocking a soap dish off the counter as she grasped for anything she could get her hands on. She was just beginning to come down from her orgasm when he changed positions and it was suddenly like a new pressure had built and she was soaring again. He took her like a dog lapping water and she came on his tongue, ending up in the same position they had started in. Her legs wrapped around his head, involuntarily squeezing his face harder against her.

"Oh god, Elliot! Yes!" She yelled once more as she finally finished and loosened her legs. She was still catching her breath when he came back up her and held her.

"I've never seen anything so hot in my life," he said against her shoulder.

She slid her hands over his strong back and kissed his neck, unable to believe the things Elliot Stabler was doing to her.

She was still smiling as she finally dried off and went to the room to put on some clothes. She opted for some comfortable jeans and a blue slouchy sweater that fell off her shoulder… The shoulder that Elliot kissed sweetly as he walked up behind her. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply as she turned her face in his direction. When his lips left her shoulder, she caught them. She kissed him lightly, with her hand on the back of his head, his arms around her stomach.

He rested his head on her shoulder and she leaned her cheek against his as they stood there. She sighed as she soaked up the warmth of his embrace.

"This is nice," she finally said.

Elliot hummed in agreeance. "Feels good."

"Mhm."

"So, you admit it," Elliot said. "You feel this."

Olivia pinched her eyes tighter. Why does he have to ruin it?

She turned around, still in his arms, and looked up at him, practically pleading with her eyes. "El, please…" she started. She swallowed and took a few breaths to push back the tears that were threatening to fall. She grabbed his shirt gently where the top button split off into his collar and focused on her hand to say what she wanted to say. "This is good. Here. Now… I just want to enjoy this while we have it… Enjoy… us while we have it." She found the courage to look back up at him. "Please don't make it complicated."

Elliot's face fell and he took a step back.

"Cassidy… Dean Porter…" he began.

"What?"

"That slimy reporter Nick Ganzer… That editor for the New York Ledger, Kurt Moss… The suit from the bureau… The uniform from the bar… That other uniform from the bar…"

"Okay, Elliot…"

"How many other fuckers were from the bar, Liv?"

She shook her head in disgust.

"The attorney who kept sending you flowers after one date… The Wall Street exec with the beard…"

"I get it Elliot." Both of their voices raised with every sentence.

"The accountant…"

"Stop." Those tears were making their way to their destination now.

"The IT guy from computer crimes…"

"Elliot, I mean it! Shut up!"

"And most recent on the list, that bozo detective, Elliot Fucking Stabler from sex crimes!"

"STOP!" she screamed so loud it hurt her throat and it caused Elliot to freeze. "You do not get to slut shame me, you son of a bitch! I'm an adult! I don't have to justify anything to you and it's none of your business who I screw and don't screw!"

They stood silently in the heated moment.

Elliot's voice softened. "That's not what I meant—"

"I know what you meant, Elliot."

After a few more moments of thick silence, Olivia remembered to breathe. She wrapped her mind around the hurt he must feel to have added himself to some list he'd compiled in his head. She exhaled sharply. She hated that he was making her say these things, admit her guilt, be so vulnerable. Her body was one thing; she wasn't shy about that. But there were vulnerable places in her soul in which she rarely let her guard down. Elliot was chiseling as those walls and she was torn between the pain of the chisel and the relief she knew would come when it was torn down.

She took one step closer to him and spoke quietly. "You're not just another one of those men, Elliot," she said. He stayed frozen in his place as she continued. "Of course you're more than that. I shouldn't have to tell you." She hated the ache in her chest as she said the words, but she knew she owed it to him. "You're right—these feelings are intense and real and… Last night we opened it all up and it has come pouring down like Niagara Falls ever since."

"That's what I've been trying to—"

"But what happens when this op is over, El?" she asked. "What happens to us when we leave here and don't get to play out this… this fantasy anymore?"

He couldn't give her an answer. She took another step closer.

"I'll tell you what happens," she said. "We go back to being Detectives Benson and Stabler."

One more step forward. Then she placed her hand on his chest. "I can't handle acknowledging all of our emotions in this only to shove them all back under the table in a few days." She looked down at his chest to hide the tears she feared were making their way to her cheeks. "I just… I can't. I'm already afraid we've gone too far and screwed things up."

When Elliot heard her voice straining he closed the gap between them and held her close. "I'm sorry for pushing you," he said. "I'm sorry… I just feel so…"

"I know."

He tilted her face up and kissed her.

"I don't know what's going to happen when we leave here," he said. She rolled her eyes and averted her gaze, but he pointed her face back to him with a finger. "But for the next 24, 48, or however many more hours we're here… This is ours. Let's be who we are and be completely honest and free with each other until we leave. And when that time comes, we'll figure the rest out. Okay?"

She searched his eyes. She knew that he believed he could figure out another option for them when they left, but she knew that she was right about what would happen. They'd have to go back to the way things were or they'd be forced to get new partners.

But this closeness with Elliot… Though uncomfortable for her, it was the most comfortable discomfort she could ask for. And he was right about one thing: it felt good. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to revel in what she'd wanted for so long.

Then she chuckled lightly.

"What?" Elliot asked, smiling at her apparent amusement.

She looked up at him. "Those names certainly rolled off your tongue… Been keeping a track sheet?"

Elliot rolled his eyes, then quickly kissed her, slipping his arms around her waist and turning her to guide her to the bed.

Her legs hit the edge of the mattress and she suddenly felt nervous. He laid her down and scooted them back on the bed, his body on top of hers. Her legs automatically spread to accommodate him, and he just fit there. Her anxiety caused her to break the kiss, which he took as an invitation to give attention to her neck.

"El, wait…" she started. But her words fell apart when he slipped his hand underneath her sweater to palm her breast, her nipples scratched by lace.

Up until now, they had fucked. Hard, fast, hot fucking on the floor, the shower, the bathroom counter, or necking in public. This sweeter, slower pace felt too intimate. Too real. She didn't know if she could handle something real and still be able to stop when their assignment was over. She needed to fuck to remain detached.

Elliot removed his hand from her breast and he brought his face back up to look at her. He swiped a piece of hair out of her eyes.

"What is it, Liv?"

She had never been more fearful than the moment she looked back into his blue eyes. They knew they loved each other. Yesterday hadn't been the first time they'd said it. But the love in which he looked back at her at that moment was something more than love for a best friend.

And it made her stomach drop.

She wanted to tell him to fuck her. It would take away the intimacy and replace it with raw lust and make it easier on both of them. But it had been too long since she felt wanted for more than her body. In that moment, she felt wanted, loved, safe, trusted, known, and scared as hell.

When Olivia was lost for words, Elliot smiled and kissed her lightly. She continued to try to convince herself not to do it this way, but then he started talking.

"For twelve years," he began as he kissed back down her jaw to her neck, "I've watched you date other men." He smoothly took the hem of her sweater and lifted her slightly from the bed to remove it. He continued his kisses down her chest as her breathing became labored. He knew this was affecting her differently than the other times. "And for twelve years, I've dreamed about burying myself deep inside you." Olivia's breath shook during a harsh exhale. "And making you come harder than any man has ever made you come before." A rush of heat hit her between the legs and she felt his erection against her thigh. He brushed her nipples with his thumb over the lace while he descended his kisses between her breasts. But then he suddenly went back up her to face, looking at her intently. "Because I know you, Liv." He kissed her cheek and slid his palm over her abdomen, then down her side, curving to her hip. "I know every curve of your body. Every insecurity." He slid his hand to the button of her jeans and popped it undone, then slid the zipper down to make room for his hand. He kissed her ear and his voice was low. "Every passion. The things that make you tick." He placed his middle finger over her panties and pressed down over her clit. Her mouth opened as she sighed. "I know what turns you on," he said as he rubbed. Then he lifted his face to look at her once again. "And I know you're scared as hell right now."

She closed her eyes, unable to deal with his intense look, his intimate touch, and his deep knowledge of her. She knew she needed to say something, stop this, but she was too captured by his words.

"Look at me," he whispered.

She slid her hands up his back and brought them to his neck. With her eyes still closed she breathed out, "El, please… Just…" She didn't know what came after that. She couldn't think straight. But she knew she didn't want to look at him and hear what he was going to say.

Elliot stopped his ministrations below to steady himself firmly about over. "Look. At. Me," he demanded.

With her eyebrows furrowed, she took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and opened her eyes.

"Olivia," he said, "I'm so in lo—"

She kissed him hard and flipped him over so she was straddling his pelvis when she ended up on top of him. When she broke the kiss, she leaned her forehead against his, still holding his neck with her hands. "I know, Elliot," she whispered. "I know." She lifted her head slightly to look at him. "But please… Don't say it. I can't… just… I don't need you to say it."

He responded when she kissed him again, holding her close as she gave him more emotional passion than physical this time. It was new for her. She never let her guard down with men during sex. Elliot was the only one she ever let her guard down with at all, but she never imagined it would spill over into the bedroom. Fear filled her, but it wasn't stronger than her feelings for him. She couldn't stop.

Until Elliot's cell phone startled them out of their daze like they'd been hit by a freight train.

Olivia slumped over onto Elliot's chest and they laughed.

"Cragen has the worst timing," Elliot chuckled. He flipped them over again, pinned Olivia underneath him and kissed her quickly before he reached into his jeans and brought his phone to his ear.

"Stabler," he answered. And Olivia laid back and waited for Cragen's orders.

But she was out from underneath him the moment she heard Kathy Stabler's voice on the other end.