Lincoln Loud drummed his fingers on the desk and watched the clock above the door. It was 2:58pm on a Friday. In less than two minutes, the final bell would ring and he would be free – free at last! – for the whole weekend. A hazy smile crossed his face as he imagined the two glorious days that lie ahead of him. No alarm clocks, no homework, just him and...whatever: Not having a schedule and doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it is the best part of the weekend. Sure, there's church on Sunday morning, but not this weekend. His parents were taking Lilly, Lisa, Lola, Lana, and Lucy to visit Dad's aunt in Kalamazoo and wouldn't be back until Sunday night. That meant he'd get to sleep in two days instead of one.

He trembled with excitement.

When the bell rang, he leapt up, hurriedly gathered his things, and whipped out of the room as quickly as he could, barely registering the fact that Mrs. Johnson was talking. Sorry, lady, you had me for five whole days...this is my time.

Outside, the mid-October afternoon was sunny and cool. A light, chilly breeze rustled the fire-colored trees and pushed dead brown leaves along the street and the sidewalk. A man in a gray sweatshirt was burning a pile of leaves in his front yard across the street, and Lincoln took a deep breath, relishing the smoky scent as he pounded down the stairs. It's Friday night and the world is my oyster!

Kind of a funny saying, he thought as he started home. The world is your oyster. He understood what it meant, but...ah whatever. He didn't even like oysters; they tasted like cold snot.

He was passing the middle school's athletic field now. When he reached the front, he would stop and wait for Lynn and Luan. Maybe. He had a weekend to get started after all.

"Hey, Linc!" someone called. Lincoln turned just in time for a football to crash into his chest, bounce off, and land in the gutter. Ow! "You were supposed to catch it!" Lynn said as she crossed to the sidewalk.

"You didn't give me much warning," Lincoln said as he rubbed his chest.

Lynn went to the gutter, stooped down, and picked up the ball. Standing to her full height, she looked at him. "How much warning do you think the pros get at the Super Bowl?"

They started walking.

"You're forgetting one thing," he said.

"What?" She turned tossed the ball into the air, and caught it, stumbling back and nearly falling.

"I'm not a pro football player."

"Yeah, but you're a pro dork," she teased, and flicked his cowlick. Lincoln shrugged away and shot her a dirty look. "Who got the MVP award today, you or Clyde? Or was it one of your other dorky little friends?"

Lincoln pursed his lips. Lynn loved picking on him. He could handle a little teasing, but the thing is: She couldn't. Every time he threw a barb back, she'd get mad and storm off. Classic case of someone who could dish it out but not take it. Every once in a while when she went a little too far he'd snap and fire back, but those occasions were rare because he loved his sisters and didn't like to see them upset. Yeah, dorky, and yeah, probably stupid, but you work with what you have, and that's what he had. File a lawsuit.

"I bet it was you," she grinned, and nudged his ribs.

"Yup," he sighed.

"At least you'll finally have something in the trophy case," she snorted.

Lincoln threw out his elbow, but she danced away with a mocking laugh. "Missed me!"

At the front entrance, Lincoln leaned against the wall and waited for Luan while Lynn tossed the ball into the air and caught it. He crossed his arms and watched the stream of kids coming through the door, finally spotting his sister. She saw him, smiled, and waved. "Hey, Linc!"

He lifted a hand.

She walked up and hugged her books to her chest. "I heard a great joke today. Wanna hear?"

"Ugh, no," Lynn said, coming over.

"I wasn't talking to you," Luan replied dismissively. "I was talking to Lincoln."

They started walking. "Yeah, let me have it," Lincoln said.

"Alright, so three couples are at the pearly gates, two straight and one gay. Saint Peter says to the first man, 'You're so greedy that you married a woman named Penny, so you're going to hell.' He says to the next man, 'You're such a glutton that you married a woman named Candy, so you're going to hell too.' In the back, one of the gay guys looks at the other and says, 'Uh-oh, this doesn't look good, Dick.'"

Lynn snorted laughter and Lincoln blushed. He didn't particularly like when she told dirty jokes. "That wasn't half bad, chuckles," Lynn said as she ducked around Luan and pretended to knock an opposing player out of the way. "Stick to jokes like that and maybe everyone won't groan when you open your mouth."

"Did you like it, Linc?" Luan pressed, leaning in.

Lincoln shrugged. "I like your puns better."

"You're the only one," Lynn said, and Luan shoved her away.

"I appreciate that, Lincoln. Not everyone can appreciate the quick-witted effort it takes to throw a pun out at the drop of a hat."

"You're quick-witted the way Leni is," Lynn said. Luan turned, and Lynn jumped back, laughing. Luan stalked forward, her ponytail swinging angrily. "Can't get me!" Lynn said, turning and throwing a taunting glance over her shoulder.

Lincoln sighed. "Come on, guys."

Luan's eyes flashed, and she pointed at her sister. "I know where you sleep."

Lynn rolled her eyes. "I'm gonna wake up with a rubber chicken in my bed, aren't I?"

Luna pursed her lips and cocked her head. Her cheeks were a deep red, whether from the wind or from anger, Lincoln couldn't tell. She turned, her ponytail whipping the side of her face, and caught up with Lincoln, who had slowed but not stopped.

"Sometimes that girl makes me want to take up boxing," Luan sighed.

"You should," Lynn said, falling behind them. "It's good for getting all your aggression out." She looked from her brother to her sister. "You and Lincoln would be about evenly matched."

Lincoln and Luan both ignored her.

They got home ten minutes later. Dad was loading suitcases into the back of the van. Inside, Lori was sitting on the couch, her arms crossed and her lips pouted. Leni was at the other side of the couch and in a similar state. Mom came in from the kitchen holding a plastic bag. "You'll just have to deal with it," she said.

Lori threw her head back. "This is literally going to be the most boring weekend ever."

"What's wrong?" Lincoln asked. He took his backpack off and hung it up by the door. Lynn ducked around Luan and bumped into him, nearly knocking him over. He tossed her an angry glanced, and she stuck her tongue out.

Mom sighed. "Lisa forgot to pay the cable bill, so the company turned it off."

"Which means no TV, no phones, and no internet," Lori huffed.

Lincoln's shoulders slumped. "But ARRGH!"

"How am I gonna watch the big game now?" Lynn asked.

"And how I going to text Bobby?" Lori crossed her arms even tighter.

Mom shrugged. "You'll just have to make do."

"This is what happens when you, like, let a four-year-old handle the bills," Leni said, crossing her arms even tighter just like her older sister.

"One time," Lisa said from the stairs, startling Lincoln. "If you were in charge of the bills, we'd be living in a cave and drinking swamp smoothies while huddling around a fire for warmth." The little girl reached the bottom of the stairs and sat a duffle bag on the floor. Behind her, Lola and Lana argued as they came down. Lucy brought up the rear, as silent as a corpse...and as pale.

Fifteen minutes later, the six oldest Loud children gathered in the driveway and watched the van until it was out of sight.

"Thus begins our super boring weekend," Lori sighed.

"It's not so bad, bro," Luna said. "But I am gonna miss VH1 Classic. They're doing a metal weekend." She sighed and looked at her feet.

"I literally have no idea what I'm going to do with myself," Lori said as she started back toward the house, "ugh."

Lincoln knew what he was going to do with himself. Read a comic. In his room, he stripped to his underwear, jumped onto his bed, and grabbed the newest Ace Savvy. Missing ARRGH would suck, but otherwise, he wouldn't miss the cable and internet. Not like Lori. He actually felt really bad for her because texting was all she ever did, so not being able to must be like the end of the world to her.

Oh well.

He dipped into his comic, and was still reading an hour later when someone knocked on the door. "Yeah?"

It opened and Luna stuck her head in. "Hey, bro, pizza's here."

Lincoln sat up straight, a smile forming on his lips. "Pizza?"

"Yeah, we ordered a pizza," Luna said matter-of-factly.

"Sweet!"

He jumped up, got dressed, and went downstairs. Lori was sitting on the couch with a plate in her lap. Leni was sitting on the opposite end of the couch, also with a plate. Lynn, Luna, and Luan were sitting on the floor around the coffee table, Lynn and Luna with their backs against the couch and Luan on the outside. An open pizza box sat on the table, and as soon as the smell hit Lincoln's nose, his stomach rumbled.

He dropped next to Luan and crossed his legs Indian style. He reached over, grabbed a slice, and took a giant bite, the good flavors of cheese and garlic flooding his mouth.

"Alright," Lynn said around a mouthful of food, "I have an idea. Since we got nothing else to do, why not play a game?"

"What kind of game?" Luan asked.

A devilish smile touched Lynn's freckled face. Her eyes shone. "Truth or dare."

Lincoln choked on his pizza, and Luan absently slapped his back. "That's a kid's game," she said.

"Yeah? And we're kids." Lynn glanced at Luna, who was grinning. Something told Lincoln this idea was both of theirs.

"I-I don't know," he said, "knowing you guys you'll dare me to get hit by a car or something."

Lynn cocked her head. "You really think we'd do that?"

"Yes."

She giggled. "Maybe."

There you go.

"Come on," Lynn urged, "unless you guys would rather stare at the walls."

"Luan's right," Lori sighed, "it's a kid's game...but I'm literally bored to tears." She took a bite of her pizza.

"I'll play!" Leni chirruped, then her brow furrowed cutely. "Just don't make me do math questions. Math is hard."

Lynn fixed Lincoln with expectant eyes. "Linc? You in?"

They were all looking at him, and he withered under their eyes. "Yes," he finally said, "against my better judgement."

"Great," Lynn said, "let's start."