Friendship One

B'Elanna could see a faint reflection of herself in the black polish of the torpedo casing - her puffy eyes and a mouth that was caught in a permanent frown. She looked away, focusing on the draped United Federation of Planets flag.

She'd been here before - standing in the dimmed mess hall with a fallen engineer. Bendera, Hogan, Kaplan… She'd given a short speech at each of their services. She was their commanding officer. It was her duty.

B'Elanna placed a hand on the torpedo casing. Words swirled in her head: how he'd stood by her side, even though she'd broken his nose. How he was always there with a helping hand or a joke. How he was a model officer and a friend. But it all sounded trite.

The mess hall doors hissed and a stream of light glinted off the casing. She knew the footfalls, the scent. Tom. The doors shut again, returning her to darkness.

"I thought you'd be at home."

"I wanted a minute with him. Before."

They stood in silence, staring at the casket, his arm wrapped around her. For a moment, during the hostage negotiations, B'Elanna had thought Tom had been killed. She'd heard him shout, then the whine of a disruptor…

Then the rush of relief that it was Joe Carey that had died instead.

She leaned her head against his chest. "I don't know that I can do this. I don't think I can get up, not without-" She stopped, fighting the tears that welled hot in her eyes.

Tom drew her into a hug. "You don't have to."

"I do," she murmured into his chest. "I want to." I have to. "I just don't have the words."

"Say what's in your heart."

Her heart? All that was there was rage. At how unfair it all was, that Joe's family would never see him again. At how selfishly she'd reacted, glad that it wasn't Tom.

No, what was in her heart would never do.

Tom took her hand. "I'll go up there with you, if that would help."

B'Elanna pictured it, standing up there with her husband and her unborn child and all her good fortune. "No." She tried to smile. "But thank you. I have to do this on my own."

The doors to the mess hall slid open again. Light filled the room.

It was time.

The End

Endnotes: Thanks to everyone who made it to the end! Favorites and comments are loved and adored.

Again, many thanks for Capt Acorn! Go read her stuff! It's the best!