Oh my god, my Doc Manager was empty...

Oh, also I lied to you guys. Based on the title of this chapter, yeah, I found a way to write in our favorite confession into the story. I hope you all enjoy it, and the best way to show your thanks is to go out and vote. Until then, ENJOY~!

"I would kill for another vacation," Sara groaned.

"Your last one nearly did kill you," Lexi pointed out. Sara mouthed a silent, but truly scathing and witty rebuttal. Lexi returned an amused smirk at the inspiring amount of effort the Pathfinder put into her sassy comeback. "Liam and Vetra really took it out of you, didn't they?"

"Our highlights were shooting at pirates. Seriously, it was...ugh." That was the last time Sara decided to do Liam a favor so he could 'stretch his legs.' He had just healed up from his previous outing on Eos, but Sara should have known better than to try and be the cool boss for someone as reckless as she was. She stayed out of Liam's less than subtle ploys to draw Vetra into a conversation—or argument—as was Liam's way. Regretfully, he had to open his mouth on a matter that both Sara and Vetra were vastly more experienced in; being a big sister. Liam was very much not in favored company after he ran his mouth about Vetra's choices concerning Sid. "Thankfully, they're both really good at shooting things."

"No doubt earnest too." They were definitely that after they were done shouting at each other. And it wasn't helpful that Liam would go off to pout—or 'flank' as he tried to excuse—on his own. Sara's ability to move across the battlefield in a second was helpful in watching Kosta's back when he refused to in some macho attempt to prove a point. By the time they returned to Kadara Port, everyone immediately split apart. It was Sara's scarce luck that Lexi happened to have her office open and available when she returned to the Tempest. "So you feel Liam spoke out of turn?"

"Is that really as surprising as you're trying to make it sound?" Lexi shrugged with a gentle and patient smile on her face. The doctor could never assume to know what the friend knew. Vetra was practically sister—if not 'mother,' of the year with how she watched out for Sid. Accusing her of being anything less than a worried, protect, and overall caring sister—you might as well try to punch Vetra in the face. Key word being, 'try.' "Liam doesn't know what it's like to have a sibling. Yeah, he's good at making friends and getting people to smile, but he doesn't know shit in the way of being a big sister. If Vetra started throwing presumptuous bullshit at Liam based on her personal experience of being a human, I'd make sure to correct her too." Angrily, depending on Vetra's level of self-righteousness on the subject. It wasn't like Sara went around trying to tell Lexi, Peebee, or Cora about the 'correct' way to behave like an asari—despite her personal frame of reference on the matter. Liam's background with growing up and taking care of a younger sibling? Zero.

"So just a difference of opinions?"

"Vetra's first and primary concern is always going to be her sister," Sara said. There was no doubt of that—not for anybody that knew her. It was insulting to assume otherwise—and it didn't help that Liam was being directly insulting about it. Maybe Sara took it a bit personally herself, as a big sister herself with a brother in the hospital in a deep coma. She knew Liam wouldn't say a damn thing about her family though, so why pop his mouth off about Vetra's? Just because she made a few mistakes in her life and had problems to run away from? Like she was the only one jumping onto an Ark to get the hell out of dodge back home. Vetra's mistakes, her methods, her experience—it was all by necessity, to protect Sid. To keep her safe, alive, and somehow away from all the despicable horrors that lied just beneath the surface of the 'civilized and settled' Milky Way society. It wasn't like Vetra willing chose to fall into those seedier elements because she wanted to.

Sara's lip twitched as she forcibly repressed her own past memories from erupting. Kadara was already a trying practice of keeping herself from losing her shit without her own crew fighting each other. She understood the mistrust and resentment towards the Nexus—she had a fair bit of doubt in some of the leadership and choices made herself, but people like Sloane were just murderous killers. Sure, her methods worked, and she had good reason to break away from the Nexus at the time to try and build something for themselves. Hell—she even succeeded at it. But all she was trying for now was to be a petty despot that bullies and rules through terror and subjugation. It didn't help that Ryder pulled a gun on Sloane during their first meeting, but she wasn't about to trust her safety and life to another power hungry bitch with a grudge. It was frustrating that everything seemed to come back to that controlling psychopath. But that was Sara's own mistake.

The two cuts on her right shoulder started to itch, but she ignored it. That wasn't what was frustrating her at the moment—only what she was fighting. Sloane was just a very vivid reminder of Retas.

"As much grief as we give him, I think Liam will realize he may have overstepped," Lexi offered. "Whether or not he'll swallow his pride and apologize for it is another story. Although I did tell you not to take him."

"Yeah, but you told me to stop taking Drack everywhere because he's old," Sara teased. Lexi's nostrils twitched slightly as she repressed the urge to switch to friend mode. She could complain, but she had yet to fully slip when having her professional coat on.

"I just said his prosthetics have had some trouble syncing properly since he jumped out of the Nomad back on Eos, and that I would prefer if you would give him a break."

A 0.3 second lag to be exact. Truly a medical anomaly that needed immediate attention, but Sara kept the thought strictly to herself. "It wasn't even his swinging arm," Sara said, repeating Drack's words to her when they had talked about it. Lexi's stare told Sara that Drack had told her the exact same thing. The irony being that Drack and Sara were arguably the ones on the ship who needed Lexi around the most, for one reason or another, but several common reasons overall. "You were the one telling me to talk to the crew more."

"Hm." There was some hardcore professionalism. It'd be a cold day in hell when Sara finally cracked through that guard in one of their sessions. The only time the friend took over when the doctor should be in charge was any time Sara stupidly risked her life and needed a lecture. Thankfully it was only Liam doing that most recently—with two older sisters watching his back no less. Good thing he was never in any real danger as long as Vetra decided not shoot at him. "Was Liam the only thing upsetting you?"

"Are you asking about the room full of guns pointed at me? Because one was actually aimed squarely at Sloane's forehead." That did nothing to put Lexi at ease. Sara definitely wasn't at ease in that moment walking into the wannabe kingpin's office. Sloane's posture, her attitude, her arrogance—all of it seemed like it was lifted right off of Omega's filthy surface. Same shit, different smell. Probably not the best move to make for the Initiative, having the Pathfinder walk into a den of thieves and murderers only to lose her shit in a flashback. "I know, not the safest way to approach it."

"You could have handled it better," Lexi admitted. "But you handled it well. Seeing how last time you tried shooting your way out of a room full of gangsters went so well."

"Ouch." Doctors could do no harm. Friends were another story. Or maybe that was just her way of starting to peel off the bandages of that particular stab wound. It wasn't like there was any disguising it after the day Sara had, and she had been ignoring a LOT of feelings lately. And there really was no reason for Sara to beat around the bush with Lexi on her past. Not in this space with just her and Lexi. And she knew sooner or later that one of them was going to have to start forcing Sara to share her feelings, new and old. "I managed to hit the pause button on myself this time. It was...tense, but, ya know, safety first."

"Which I'm extremely grateful for." Sara had a hard time reading between Lexi's sarcasm and her sincerity. Maybe she oversold the danger of a 'room full of guns,' to her doctor?

"Grace under pressure," Sara teased with a knowing smirk. Lexi groaned and rolled her eyes at one of Matriarch Aneria's more favored sayings. Neither of them were very graceful under pressure, not by the matriarch's superior standards, though between the two of them Lexi held the reigning championship.

"I'm not sure if I would take it that far." Sara laughed a bit, more than willing to give her that one. "So, let's talk about some other members of the crew." There was the trap of an hour long session when you so openly expressed yourself to your therapist; tackling topics you didn't spend three and a half hours preparing in your head prior. Sara's fault is knowing Lexi as a friend before being her doctor on the ship during the most crucial trials of her entire life. Ryder knew what was coming next. "Every relationship is important." Yep, there it was. And there was only one particular 'relationship' onboard the ship that was continuously weighing on her mind more than the rest.

"Is this where you ask who's my favorite on the ship?" Sara questioned jokingly.

"Me, obviously."

She had to laugh at how quickly Lexi's response was. "Fair." Sara cleared her throat as the weight of the topic started to fill the room. "You want to ask me about someone specific?"

"If you're ready to talk about it?"

She did, and she didn't. It was the point where she had to talk about her feelings with someone who wasn't going to give her some kind of attitude, if not shout her secret through the Tempest all the way to the bridge. Plus, what else were friends and/or doctors for anyway? "Okay, so, it started out she was pretty, and smart, and sincere, and...the accent admittedly—which I'm not proud of it."

"I'm not judging." Everybody on the ship had a hard opinion, or a smug attitude towards any sensitive information. Lexi, despite her own opinions, kept her sessions with anyone and everyone private. Everyone had made at least a few rounds in Lexi's office. Everyone except Peebee of course, who made greater efforts than the Pathfinder to avoid the med bay. Sara by several defaults was an advocate of speaking to someone during such stressful times, and was Lexi's biggest supporter. "You never told me what you two talked about that day in my office."

The irony was that Lexi would have already pieced it together after Harry likely messaged her about the incident with Scott. The only person she had talked about that issue with was Suvi. Not even Lexi. Not yet, anyway. "So...it wasn't anything serious but...I mean, it was, because I thought I had broken Scott...but I didn't, and I overreacted because I had told him the truth about what happened with dad. I thought it was supposed to be the right thing to do, and he thought...I was some kind of nightmare. Anyway, I panicked, came here to talk to you, but you were somewhere else and Suvi was here instead. I had to talk to someone and she was there, and...well, she's Suvi. I was trying to keep from just...collapsing, so I just puked out my figurative guts. She told me a funny cautionary tale that made me feel better and...I don't know. I guess I realized I liked being around her. And...realized she was really cute too."

Lexi smiled at her. "How did telling the truth to Scott make you feel, after you talked to Suvi?"

Sara didn't expect that question—nor did she expect it to cut so deep. Suvi was one thing, but she genuinely hadn't put much thought into Scott's condition after the fact. SAM and Harry said he would be fine, and nobody has claimed otherwise yet. And other than remaining in a remarkably stunning coma, Scott's condition had otherwise not changed, so there wasn't too much to think about. She sniffled, but stowed her pain to an ache. "She helped me realize that Scott is gonna be okay...and when he wakes up he's going to be glad I was honest with him." Those were almost the exact words Suvi used after distracting Sara's racing mind with a fun story with a tragically hilarious ending. Thinking about how personal the story was for someone who came to Andromeda without her family, it made Sara appreciate Suvi's honesty much more. "I kind of...thought about her a few times, but I never really thought about liking anybody. Then Drack got bored and decided to grill me who I liked, and I didn't really know until Suvi radioed me about Liam and then it hit me."

"How did this revelation hit you exactly? What was it that made you realize you liked Suvi as something more?"

"Well, she sent me a giant paper about Heleus soil samples that SAM marked as spam for me. It was sixty pages long but I um...well I unmarked it because I felt guilty. I...may have read it after we talked about Scott. That's kind of an obvious sign I think." Lexi chuckled softly, unintentionally activating Sara's self conscious reflex. "I've thought about her a couple of times too. Drack posed the question, he was going through process of elimination and...fate kinda screwed me again." At least this was one of the gentler times, though the Architect was kind of pushing it.

"Did anything happened later?"

Sara thought back to when Suvi approached her on Eos to inquire and geek out like Ryder was some sort of new type of Heleus mineral sample—asking about her biotics, her tattoos, and scars, and everything else. "We talked on Prodromos after you left. She was really...interested in me it seems. Inquiries about tattoos and biotics, again. I realized I really like being around her, again. But I seriously doubt I'm anywhere near stable enough to be seriously considering a relationship with anybody."

"Why do you think that?"

It seemed fairly obvious, though in that moment it was difficult for Sara to grasp what her exact reasons for it were beyond her defensive reflex. "Because I'm scared to consider it." Lexi was almost successful at hiding her surprise in the face of Sara's honesty. Almost. She had been dodgey for awhile, even in the last few sessions that Lexi didn't allow Sara to excuse herself from. One of them had to force Sara to be honest, and it was much easier for her to do it herself. It certainly wasn't easy, but Sara reminded herself that she was safe with Lexi. "Suvi is...really sweet and...maybe not as innocent as I would have thought, but...I'm still..."

"Scared?" she asked, repeating Sara's choice of words.

Broken...

Her scars started to itch when the darker voice echoed in her ears. "Yeah," she said to Lexi. It was easier to ignore the whisper than it was to acknowledge it, she told herself. Should she tell Lexi? It was just a whisper. "I keep trying to make myself feel guarded around her. Then before I know it, I'm sharing thoughts and feelings and stories with her. If I'm being honest..." Sara paused to refocus her thoughts. Lexi had the patience to let her silence her demons. "I know the past is in the past, but fate or whatever just has a habit of...well," she gestured to the scar over her right eye. "I just...I don't know how to know if I'm ready to risk something so...worrisome. There's way more at stake for everyone. For...me. And I have a track record of fucking up."

"You said it yourself that the past is the past," Lexi said. "Everyone makes mistakes, large and small. You think Drack shares every story or himself, or does he just have a hundred stories to tell because he's literally ancient? I'm sure Aneria has told you several times that her wisdom came from experience, and even she wasn't perfect."

Sara smirked, "You sure about that?"

Lexi just frowned, though the corners of her mouth tugged upward ever so slightly, "Absolutely sure." Aneria never said she was perfect—she just had a habit of acting like perfection at times. She certainly didn't hesitate talking down to a child when necessary. In Sara's case, often. "And I don't mean to come off callous in regards to your...personal experiences. But it sounds like your decision making is what has you second guessing yourself."

"Huh..." Sara hadn't considered that before—focusing more on her poor choices than the results that left her with dark memories that made her scars burn and her skin crawl. Thinking about Suvi never made her skin crawl. In more cases than one, she often helped Sara reject the fleeting memories of her past that still haunted her. "So...I'm arguing with myself that I'm going to make a bad decision by talking to Suvi, because I've made bad decisions in the past?"

"Seems to be that way," Lexi admitted. Sara admitted the same to herself. If the shoe fits. "We often draw upon our past, because it's how we grow into the future. You went to Omega because of a string of choices, that all ended up leaving you...scorned." Sara tried not to scoff at the gentle word Lexi used, but it was preferable to the harsher words—humiliated, shattered, worthless—running through her head. "Your mind automatically bridges the cause and effect together, I'd assume as a defense mechanism, so instead of making any move forward with Suvi, you've chosen to stand your ground. But you're sounding like that isn't quite good enough anymore..."

And like that, the knot was undone in Sara's mind. "Shit..." She both loved and hated when Lexi understood her better than she could herself. Then again, that's what friends and/or therapists were for. Sara couldn't count all the stars she wanted to thank that Lexi of all people took the assignment for Tempest medical officer. "You're too smart for your own good."

"That's kind of the reason I'm here."

"And, you know, to make sure we're in one piece. Or that Drack is in as few pieces as possible."

"All of you being in as few pieces as possible is ideal," Lexi corrected. Sara wondered to herself how much longer until she started losing pieces, rather than just collecting scars. Emotionally, she supposed, she had lost a lot of pieces. Part of her wondered how many of those pieces Drack had given up over his many years? "Trauma, any trauma, has a way of changing every part of us. Obviously you're no stranger to this, but sometimes the many ways trauma impacts us can be even more elusive to us as well. If you're unintentionally connecting your feelings for Suvi to...the last time you dared to have these feelings, then you're justifying to yourself why you're not stepping forward. Not that you don't have a convincing reason to be hesitant, of course. But you can't make any progress with Suvi if you continue to tie your feelings now to your trauma. You don't have to sprint ahead and leap off the deep end with her, but...would you say that there's a part of you that's not quite so content standing still?"

"So...I'm basically telling myself I can't stand still?" Given how every other part of her life crashed and tore ever forward, it kind of made sense that going nowhere with Suvi would be maddening. But this revelation was enough to put Sara on edge. "I don't suppose you have any advice for me?"

"I can't tell you the best approach to sharing your feelings with Suvi, no. I do understand why this situation is so confusing and intimidating for you, believe me. And with everything that's happened since we've arrived in Andromeda, it seems like you haven't stopped to ask yourself what you would like."

"I mean—,"

"Beyond peace of mind, and not having Tahn and several other people breathing down your neck."

"Well that just sounds like a fantasy world."

"And what if you could take just a bit of that fantasy world with you?" Sara groaned, mostly at herself, and partially at the only friend that deflections never worked on. "Try spending some time thinking about your approach if it worries you so much. Based on what you've told me though, I don't think there are many ways you could disappoint Suvi." And she could drive a point home. Maybe Sara wasn't mean enough to try and actually throw Lexi off balance?

'Ha-ha, you like a super old krogan!'

'I literally had my hands in your chest trying to get your heart to start again.'

Yeah, that wouldn't go so well. Sara wondered, dared to hope even, that maybe Lexi was right, and that Suvi wouldn't be completely repulsed by a proposal to get to know each other better? Wait, was it that easy to word? It wasn't like they could be any less professional with one another without crossing that line more officially.

"So...it opens the door, but..."

Lexi smiled, offering Sara a figurative hand, "You don't have to go blasting through it like an Architect's face." Sara's lips parted in a guilty smile, happy that they could joke about that, but was reminded of Lexi's personal frustration on the issue.

"It's still Liam's fault."

"I...it's not my place to make that judgment."

"But I can, because I'm in charge, right?" Lexi squinted as Sara's smile grew wider, and much bolder. Liam's leg had healed, and so had Sara's arm, so she was far beyond the point of truly caring. She could still ground him from several privileges, and punish him with assignments that nobody wanted. Liam would probably keep making the same mistakes without some incentive. "Kidding. He's still working that off anyway."

Lexi checked the time, "We have a few minutes left. Is there anything you want to talk about?"

"Not unless you literally have flashcards to help me approach this."

"Nobody can be that well prepared." Sara opened her mouth—, "Not even Aneria." Damn, she was good. "My last advice? Suvi seems to appreciate honesty. Based just on what you and I have talked about in here, she takes a shine to your stories. Even the less than glamorous ones. I know your past is fairly checkered, and there's a lot of guilt dwelling back there...but keep in mind our present is less than glamorous too. All we have left is what is around us, Sara."

A rush of emotions flooded Sara's head and chest, but it was the last part that stuck with her. "No pressure..."

"Or, you could turn it to give yourself the courage to open that first door." At least that block in Sara's mind seemed weaker than Lexi's relentlessness. "Fear can be a sign you're making the right move for yourself."

"Is it bad coming to Andromeda was easier to think about than being emotionally honest?"

"I don't think we have time to touch that one." Sara wasn't sure whether to be pained or relieved. Middle ground—move forward. "There's no rush in opening up to Suvi, just remember that." Sara nodded, trying to remember and absorb as much as she could from their session. "I'll walk you out."

Before daring to brave that tightly shut door, Sara wanted to test out her wit. Emotions had her nerves wound too tight for her to muster any sensible approach. Sure enough, Heleus' number one Remnant enthusiast, Peebee, was messing with some new type of processor recovered from robotic salvage, tinkering in the research lab. Of course, she didn't pay any attention to the world around her. More curiously was the fact that nobody else seemed to be in the literal center of people traffic on the ship. What was everyone else doing that was so important?

"Don't mess up," Sara spouted out abruptly in a rather blatant attempt to ruin the busy bee's concentration. It didn't work.

"Oh no, I fucked it all up," Peebee droned back with the flattest tone possible. Her tools found purpose again almost immediately inside the robotic device as she continued ignoring Ryder.

Sara circled around the table, head tipped to the side as she pretended to have half a mind about Peebee's work. Really, she was trying to figure out how to best throw her off. "Whatcha working on?"

"I'm working on trying to figure out how Remnant seemingly create other models from almost nothing. The working theory I've got right now is that they're somehow...liquefied and stored into these containers, then the molecular schematics for the model stored are projected out, shaped, aligned, and reformed to give it their final shape."

She gave a curious hum, taking an actual interest in Peebee's schemes now. Half the time Peebee was just treading old ground with the Remnant anyway. "So all we need is a 3D printer, and pour in some robot soup?"

"I mean...if you want to just state it like some kind of savage, then yeah, that's the jist of it." Sara flickered a small biotic field over the tool in Peebee's right hand, giving it a gentle tug out of the distracted asari's grasp. "Hey!" She finally looked up, where Sara only responded with a smirk. "Isn't there literally anybody else on this ship you can bother?"

"Yeah, speaking of, where is—,"

"Poker game with Gil," Peebee answered.

"Ah," the crew's joint, most futile effort. "So, you choose the most high-traffic, open room on the ship to conduct your little experiment, and you're judging me for—hey wait...are you trying to summon a Remnant on my ship?" Peebee froze like a deer in headlights. Sara just sighed, knowing no amount of disappointment would ever shame Peebee like she deserved. "Of course you are. You're not allowed to destroy my ship from the inside out, Peebee!"

"I wasn't trying to!"

"Poc is the only Remnant allowed on the Tempest!" Peebee huffed and growled before she dropped her tools on the table, and closed the orb-shaped device.

"You're no fun."

"I have to think about everyone's safety—including yours. Next time we go to Eos we'll find you a nice big open field to summon all the Remnant you want. But. Not. On. My. Ship."

Peebee glared, likely cursing the Pathfinder's timing, if not her luck. Sara thought about how close the tinkering was to potentially summon a robot in her ship, but decided that she really didn't want to know the truth. "You suck. I've been waiting for like, three days!"

Sara paused to think about how long they've been flying, then glared at the fuming blue girl. "We left Kadara like, yesterday!"

Peebee scowled, breaking under the truth. "So like...a day and a half?"

"Do I need to take that Remnant thing from you?"

"No!" Peebee struggled, but relented as she drooped her head down guiltily, "You should probably take my tools though..."

Sara grabbed and pulled them straight into her hand with a biotic field. "I appreciate your honesty." Peebee just growled and threw a sour look at her. "Awe, I knew you liked those robots more than me."

"I like these robots more than anyone—anybody." She flinched, and Sara noticed. Peebee knew she noticed and immediately snapped her nose down towards the Remnant device in front of her.

"Any...one, huh?"

"Anybody," she corrected, as quickly as she was defensive.

"Uh huh..." Sara couldn't help but smile, delighted at this particular twist of fate in her favor. That, and having a bit of insider knowledge of Peebee's attitude and behavior helped Sara to keep the bratty renegade off balance. And the quirky asari researcher certainly knew how freakishly identical she was to the asari enthusiast. Maybe, deep down, Peebee enjoyed knowing that someone could understand her, regardless of the fact that Sara was technically her boss.

Peebee quickly snapped her head up, glaring straight into the playful, smirking Pathfinder, "Alright, listen here Nakmor Ryder, you wipe that look off your face right now! I'm sick and tired of you two getting in my head like this!"

Oh, she was done now. "So Drack knows?" Peebee tensed, giving a visible shudder as her face gave it away. Insight was a beautiful thing. Sara started to think through the crew—starting with the people it definitely couldn't be; Lexi, Cora, even Ryder herself, probably Drack as well. Gil too—he took too much of her money. Plus his own preference in partners. Maybe; Vetra, Liam, Suvi...

A coy, knowing smile started to spread across Sara's lips as that faint, deep blush started to peak out below Peebee's makeup. "Don't..." she warned.

Asari had to be telepathic. "It's Jaal, isn't it?"

Peebee's eyes exploded in fury and embarrassment as she slammed her hands on the table, grabbed the Remnant device, and turned around, storming towards the nearest door. In her fuming exit, she must of not been aware she was walking towards the tech lab.

"That's Jaal's room," Sara called out.

"FUCK!"

Peebee came storming out, shooting daggers at the grinning Pathfinder as she stormed past, and straight to the door on the exact opposite side of the room, disappearing behind the doors of the bio-lab. Sara took a moment, enjoying the time to delight in the cruelty she inflicted on poor Peebee. She was feeling far more confident forcing herself to approach the bridge. One way or another, she couldn't avoid the work place.

Standing still wasn't an option. Sara would go crazy sitting in place for much longer—especially if she had to be around the smart, thoughtful, gorgeous Scottish science officer that sat on the bridge of the ship.

Don't think about that. Remember how pissed off you made Peebee.

Sara smiled to herself before turning around, and heading straight for the head of the ship...

"The swelling has gone down significantly," Suvi answered in regards to her recovery, "and I seem to be able to talk normally again."

'Good. Keep me updated. And remember, cool food and liquid only. Nothing spicy.'

"Thank you, Lexi." It wasn't like there was an abundance of spicy food available in Heleus anyway. Though after it was brought up, Suvi started to feel a craving—which was quickly shut down by the reminder of the explosive burning of her engorged tongue and searing throat. That experience she did NOT want to repeat, or feel anything similar to it any time soon. Damn her absentmindedness.

"Lexi and her rules, huh?"

Suvi felt her heart backflip in her chest when she heard that familiar, humorous tone suddenly behind her. She turned to see the Pathfinder standing next to her, arms crossed in her jacket, and that delightful smile on her face. Seeing Ryder did nothing to calm the heavy thumping that the Pathfinder's voice started.

"Hey, I respect Lexi and her rules!" she fired back, returning the smile with a flustered blush to her cheeks. "She takes care of us. Without her, I might still be wheezing and trying not to choke on my fat tongue."

Sara's smile dropped, brow knitted together, eyes squinted curiously—before the smile started to creep its way back to her face. Shite, she said too much.

"I'm sensing a story."

Suvi mentally hissed at her babbling self, feeling the blush getting brighter before she looked back at her console—as if something there required her attention. "Have you ever heard of the lick test?"

"No! But I'd love to hear about it!" She couldn't help but smile as she could hear the effort in Sara's voice not to make some clever little joke. Unlike Suvi, there was no effort in trying to hide her smile however.

"Back before scanners were portable, earth scientists would employ this test in the field." She looked away from her console and back up at the Pathfinder. Sara's smile was doing Suvi's racing heart no favors. "They used it to tell rocks from fossils, and get a basic idea of their mineral composition." Ryder had to bring her gloved hand up to her lips to suppress her amusement, though her emerald eyes were practically glittering with delight. Suvi pressed her lips together in a firm line, trying her best to show frustration at the frustratingly adorable woman. "What?"

"You licked a rock, didn't you?" she asked, making an admirable effort not to break down into a fit of giggles.

Suvi dropped her head with a dejected sigh, before pulling herself back up. Damn her absentmindedness! Curse Sara's playful nature even more. "I was distracted, and forgot it was a Heleus rock. I do it unconsciously."

"Was it the one from Prodromos?"

NO!

She sighed again, her fluttering heart sinking a bit, "Yes..."

Ryder started giggling shamelessly, mouth still covered by her knuckles, though the corners of her lips still pulled past the edges of her gloves. Suvi was just glad the Pathfinder was on Kadara when it happened, and that nobody besides Lexi saw her swollen face. There would be no end to the teasing if anybody had seen her in such a state. God, it was embarrassing just to consider.

Sara eventually stopped her giggling and lowered her hand back onto the opposite arm, beaming a bright, beautiful smile down at Suvi. "Sorry, just...I guess those rocks were exciting?"

"Ha-ha," she quipped back, dryly. Suvi being teased again for her love of geographical sciences, and the completely new mineral compositions discovered in Heleus. How original. "When I was little, my father and I would go on 'expeditions.' The lick test was a huge part of it." She smiled when thinking back on those early memories—little Suvi and her father going on long hikes with her brothers, jotting down notes, taking samples, observing nature and wildlife all across the Earth. "He made science fun for me." Then the grief started to edge its way into her otherwise fond memories. Leaving her family was the hardest choice of her life, one she still found herself regretting more than she cared to admit. "Your mother was something of a scientist, wasn't she?" she asked the Pathfinder, in desperate need of a distraction. When she looked back at Sara, she immediately regretted bringing up that topic to her. Sara's smile wavered, and her gentle, glimmering eyes hardened over—reminding Suvi quickly of what had happened to Ryder's mother before coming to Andromeda.

Shite! You blithering dolt!

"Sh-she was," Sara finally said, before the silence between them grew. She dropped her head, averting her gaze from Suvi's, which only made the science officer feel worse. Ryder swallowed nervously before shifting her gaze back to Suvi. "She started out in medicine, then eventually specialized in biotic studies because..." Sara trailed her sentence, but gave a lazy, uninspired flourish to herself. "Well, that and biotics being a breakthrough science for humans at the time was kind of a big reason too."

Why couldn't her foot fit into her mouth? Sara offered a smile, but it was hardly as dazzling as before. "I'm sorry," she offered as sympathetically as she possibly could. What else could she say? Nothing that could undo a reminder about Ryder's dearly departed mother. "I hope it helps to know that...what she and your father achieved with SAM is truly astounding. A-and some of the papers she wrote about human biotics are...w-well, her breakthroughs laid the foundation of our understanding of the subject."

A curious look was sparked as Sara tilted her head slightly to the side. "You've read my mom's papers?"

Shite!

"A-a few of them." A tiny bit of her light came back to her smile, and to her eyes. Suvi immediately felt some relief, though she couldn't shake the guilt clutching her.

"Thank you," Sara finally said, softly, and sincerely. She half-expected a silly or inappropriate joke, though she was more than happy to accept thanks after narrowly navigating through that storm. "It's difficult to talk about her sometimes. We all took her passing hard."

"I'm...I didn't mean to—,"

The Pathfinder waved her hand about dismissively, "I'm fine. Working it out. Please don't feel bad about bringing her up."

"Okay..." she offered, still feeling as small as possible. How could she not feel bad—or at least guilty? Suvi didn't want that to be the note their conversation closed on. She reached for a new topic, though the only thing that came to mind for her were her own parents. Then her sisters, and brothers. All the family she left behind. Suvi had made a choice. Sara didn't have that option. "I..." She hesitated to continue, but the silence was going to get to her either way. "I left my parents back home. They told me they were proud of me...and then lived our their lives while I slept."

There was no hiding that Suvi regretted her decision when she thought about her past—something that many others in the Initiative probably shared too. It just sounded so pathetic to admit that out loud, and to someone who lost both of their parents to uncontrollable circumstances. But Sara was left hanging out on a limb thanks to Suvi's chattering mouth.

"If you think that means you're alone, you're wrong," Sara said. Suvi felt her heart skip a beat before she turned her head to the Pathfinder's gentle smile beaming down at her. Damn her for saying what she was thinking. Not for being so wonderful though. Not for her bravery and strength.

Suvi smiled, keeping her eyes locked with Sara's, "Thank you. You saying that means the world to me." The Pathfinder's smile widened. Without a doubt, Ryder was one of Suvi's favorites among the crew, and easily one of the most extraordinary people she had every met between two different galaxies. "I'll take comfort in the people I've met here. And if you ever need me, I'm here for you too."

The light returned to Sara's face, her smile all the brighter, before she turned her head away, keeping her tattooed side facing Suvi. It wasn't long before she turned back, nodding her head. "I know. And I'm...I'm glad you're here."

"I'm glad you're here too." There was a noticeable change in shade on Sara's cheeks now, though a small bow of her head and her bangs covered most of that. Even more insufferable, it concealed those enchanting emeralds that Suvi was growing fond of.

Her console beeped with a notification—a message from Kallo. 'Is this human flirting?' Then the follow-up. 'Would it be inappropriate to say I'm glad you're both here?' Suvi had to stop herself from turning, mostly because her glare couldn't pass through the Pathfinder to get to Kallo. 'Not right now. Seems like you're having a moment, but I'm not sure.'

'Kallo, shut up!' she sent back, before keeping up the illusion that there was something that actually demanded her attention. They had talked about a few choice interactions with Sara while on the bridge together, though Suvi had yet to truly vocalize her feelings for the Pathfinder. To anybody. For the ever critical Kallo, it probably wasn't a blind guess.

"Suvi...uh..." Sara's voice drew the science officer's gaze back to her, noticing that the Pathfinder's gaze was averted. "I'm...really glad you volunteered to join our crew by the way."

Suvi smiled, a bit flustered by the Pathfinder's direct honesty. She truly didn't mind the evasive flirty behavior, or her teasing charm, but sincerity was found less commonly from Sara. "I am too," Suvi replied, offering a kind smile. "New galaxy and all. I'm honored to be here."

Sara's smile became strained, brow furrowing before she looked down at her feet. "No, I mean..." The Pathfinder paused long enough for Suvi to tell something was wrong just from her expression alone. The gears started turning in her head just as Sara looked back up, eyes hesitant, yet with an undeniable edge to them—like she was squaring herself up. "I think you're cute and I like seeing you up here," she blurted out with a quarter of a breath.

That she did not expect to hear coming out of the Pathfinder's mouth. Suvi's cheeks flared up brightly again, eyes widening as her mouth fell open. She didn't even notice she was holding her breath for a solid five seconds while gawking like an absolute idiot.

"Oh my goodness, Ryder!"

"Also, the accent," she continued—rather boldly. "The accent is—I mean, it's not the only thing, but...uh..." Sara's expression slowly changed as her face paled in contrast to Suvi's burning cheeks. For the first time since waking up in Heleus, Suvi's mind had slammed to a complete, dead stop. She wasn't sure whether to laugh or duck down and hide under her chair. The Pathfinder had confessed her feelings so suddenly, all Suvi could do was just move her lips in an attempt to formulate some response, but no sounds game out of her mouth. "Okay, I should just go over there to the piloting...thing."

"Kill. Me. Now." Kallo being present did not help matters.

Sara turned around as quickly as she could towards Kallo, "Is that a request?" The salarian pilot turned back to his console, humming to himself rather than test his luck.

Without the Pathfinder's panicked, vulnerable gaze on her, Suvi's thoughts came racing back in a flood of confusion, excitement, and caution. But she had known for some time that there was an attraction between the two of them. What a way to admit it for the first time—and with a bloody witness.

"Sara?" Again, the Pathfinder whirled back around to her, looking much less threatening than she had sounded towards Kallo. Suvi offered a smile, exhaling gently to steady her still thumping chest. "Thank you." Sara perked up a bit, though still looked guarded. "And so you know...the feeling's mutual."

Her brow raised up her forehead, eyes fluttering at her words. Then that delightful little smile came back to her face. "...really?" Suvi giggled as her cheeks burned even hotter, but she nodded with her smile growing a bit wider. It in turn infected Sara, as her cute little smirk spread to an elated, beautiful grin. "Yes!" Suvi brought her hand up to cover her laughter. She half expected Sara to do a cheer, though the Pathfinder seemed to catch her own enthusiasm quickly. "I mean, time to pathfind! Serious business, saving everyone...hehe."

Suvi wasn't sure if Ryder was trying to be funny, or just roll right through the awkwardness, but she laughed a little harder behind her hand. Sara started blushing as well, but she swiftly turned around to head to the navigation terminal. The Pathfinder looked back, catching Suvi's eye once more. They both smiled at each other, before Ryder turned forward again.

Was she sure this was a good decision? Suvi came to Andromeda for the sake of scientific endeavors and discoveries that nobody else would ever see—unless they came along for the ride too. It was the opportunity of a lifetime, and truthfully the only thing that made Suvi feel truly inspired again. She didn't come to Andromeda with any intention of looking for romance.

But the Pathfinder—Sara was different. And Suvi did like her. She wouldn't try to lie or deny that fact—not after that painful confession. She respected Sara too much to give her anything less than her full honesty. But...one thing at a time.

Suvi's console beeped again before she could give any further thoughts on the subject—another message from Kallo. 'So...that was awkward.'

So, obviously I'm always the first one to admit my own shortcomings in my stories. The last scene felt rushed to me, but it was also one of those scenes that was already written out so...limiting arrangements. Honestly, I just really wanted to get something posted after SO long. Which leads me toooooooo

Life. Life is stressful and busy and life demands time and work. Unfortunately, my muse is a fickle thing, and my thoughts are always scattered, so I have trouble pinning myself down to an idea I've got no motivation for, while another concept of mine is burnin' hot. (Namely, if I have any readers from Frigid Future, I'm so goddamn eternally sorry, and no I'm not giving up on it. Just...ugh, I'm so sorry, I totally totally suck)

Okay, so this story though, it's becoming personal to me, and I've kinda got the story mapped out. Part of my whole life drama (not that anybody asked) has involved a therapist, aaaaaaaand...that probably shows. Honestly, Sara and Lexi are just so fun for me to write (and there will be more of them), and anyway, temporary soapbox to encourage anyone out there struggling with mental wellness to reach out and talk to a professional, and to definitely NOT hold things back. You don't have to go charging through it like an Architect's face, but at least crack that door open just an inch. It's helped me overall (maybe not with keeping up on my fanfictions) and I would encourage anyone to try their best. I can't promise they'll be like Lexi, because most people don't have the benefit of being BFFs with their therapist, but they are there to help you. And if you need help, don't be scared to ask for it.

ANYWAY, I hope you all have been doing wonderfully, thank you A THOUSAND TIMES for reading this far, and I hope you've been enjoying the story up to this point, and hope even more so that it will continue bringing you enjoyment and maybe some smiles. As a forewarning, some scenes (namely ones involving Sara's past) may get a little...dark, and I'll do my best to give warnings at the start of whatever chapters those might be. This chapter was ALMOST one of those, but...I felt the hefty dark stuff REALLY took away from the positive fluffy stuff, plus it really just dragged things out (who am I to talk with my nonexistent deadlines, right?) As always, reviews are appreciated and feed my addition to writing, stay safe, and have a wonderful evening/night/tomorrow!