AN: I actually finished this the other day but forgot to upload it here? Anyways, this is just a silly idea that came largely out of nowhere that sort of grew out of control when I started discussing it with the members of the detco discord server that I'm a part of. So have some tiny, shrunken Kansuke I guess? There's going to be at least one other part to this, but I have no intention of turning this into a dedicated story, much fun as it is.

See you in part two!

A Small Problem

Even before he had lost an eye and started walking with a cane, her childhood friend always been of the recognizable sort. She'd never once in her life had the problem of mistaking him for someone else, nor vice versa, and could recognize him easily, even from quite the distance. She knew the sound of his footsteps well- both the gait that he had before the accident, and the one he had gained after it.

It was no small surprise, really. Compared to the amount of her life that she had spent following after Yamato Kansuke, the amount of time she had spent without him was really quite small. It was no wonder she knew him half as well as she did.

It was also why, when he so unexpectedly turned up on her doorstep late at night, that she recognized him instantly- or at the very least, she did once the gears in her head started working again. That was no wonder either- was there anyone who wouldn't have even the slightest moment of pause when confronted with someone they knew to be older than them, but instead found them quite a bit younger?

By over twenty years, she found herself thinking, making a quick mental check against the photographs that she had seen before. Yes, that sounded about right. Without a doubt, the Yamato Kansuke that stood before her was not the brash thirty five year old police inspector, but rather...

If she had to guess, she'd say that he was no older than eight.

"...Kan-chan?"

"How many times do I have to tell you, it's not Kan-chan." Ah, so it wasn't just his body that had returned to being a child's, she thought to herself, making note of fact that his pitch had risen quite considerably. "And how about letting me in already, Uehara?"

"Ah, right, of course!" As if suddenly remembering her manners in spite of the absurd situation, Yui stepped aside, watching as the now much smaller Kansuke half dragged himself inside of her apartment. Dragged was a good word for it, since though he'd brought it with him, his usual crutch was far too large to be of much use, causing his gait to be far more unbalanced than it usually was.

Whatever had turned the clock back for him had apparently not healed all wounds- but she could tell that much just from the scar on his face, which somehow seemed all the larger when placed on the face of a child. Though she had been able to roughly place his age right away, she couldn't say that the child she was looking at was an exact replica of the Yamato Kansuke from those photographs- for one thing, even without the obvious marks that his accident had left behind, his hair never been that long as a child.

Dimly noting that he had seemed to have lost his shoes somewhere- as well as his pants, Yui turned to watch him make his way into her apartment. Since the only thing he seemed to be wearing was a hooded sweatshirt meant for jogging, it was no wonder he was cold- even if he now practically swam in said sweatshirt.

Well, given the fact that he only seemed to come about up to her thigh now, it was no small wonder his own clothes didn't seem to fit.

"Close the door already, it's freezing outside!" Though his voice was no longer the gruff tone that she had gotten used to, somehow, that usual irritated snap of his hadn't changed. It was enough to startle her out of her thoughts, causing her to shut the door behind her- and to lock it too, just for good measure.

What on earth had he managed to get into this time?

"Um, Kan-chan...?" Yui began, only to find herself cut off again, as he all but made himself at home, taking a seat on the floor, resting his crutch against the sofa behind him.

"Well, don't just stand there, Uehara. I'm cold! Is it too much to ask for something warm to drink around here?" It was actually quite amazing how he could still bark, even with that childish voice. "And it's not Kan-chan."

Drawing in a sharp breath, deciding that if she wasn't going to put up with that kind of behavior from the thirty five year old Yamato Kansuke, she most certainly wasn't going to let the eight year old Yamato Kansuke get away with it, Yui placed her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes. "And I hardly think you're suited for the name of Inspector Yamato right now, Kan-chan. I don't think the police department hires toddlers."

At that, she made the shrunken inspector sputter, opening and shutting his mouth as he tried to speak without first thinking of a proper response. When he did come up with one, the irritation that had been only lightly dusting his voice before all at once became far more intense- though coming from a child, it was a bit hard to take seriously.

Well, not that she ever had. Kansuke's bark might put others off, but she was entirely used to it, fully aware that more than half the time, there was no actual bite behind it.

"I'm not a toddler, Uehara." Kansuke told her. "I'm at least grade school age!"

The amount of indignation in his voice was almost too much for her- and in spite of herself, she couldn't help but snort. Kansuke, it would seem, saw the humor in it himself- for he finally let a smile crack his otherwise sour expression.

"Yes, yes, grade school I suppose is more accurate." Yui said finally. "You want something warm, right? I guess I can't exactly give you coffee now."

"I wouldn't want any of your nasty coffee anyways." Kansuke remarked.

"Oh, maybe I'll make it then." Yui remarked right back, casting a glance back towards him, even as she reached for a pair of cups from her cupboard. As he opened up his mouth to protest, she let out a faint laugh, cutting him off. "I'm only joking. I got some tea from Inspector Morofushi the other day, so I'll make us that. While you explain this, I hope."

"I was getting there!" Kansuke almost huffed, cocking his head to the side. "And speaking of that tiny mustache bastard, there's not going to be a word of this to him! If he finds out about this..."

"Ah, actually-" Yui began.

"Find out what?"

"...he's actually already here." Yui finished, letting out a long sigh.

"That I am." Koumei remarked with ease, seeming to take the whole situation in stride. "I see Kansuke-kun has gotten shorter since I saw him last."

For a long moment, no one else spoke, only the sound of the kettle heating up breaking what otherwise was a rather awkward silence. Finally, Kansuke broke it, glancing between the pair, the expression on his face a mixture between exasperation and annoyance. "...do I even want to know what Koumei is doing in your apartment, Uehara?"

"If you must know, the heating in my unit broke." Koumei told him. "Since Uehara-san has a guest room, she kindly invited me to spend the night as it seems it won't be fixed until tomorrow."

"What, you couldn't handle a little chill?" Kansuke asked, sour tone not fading. "Why don't you hurry up and get lost, Koumei? Uehara and I were talking about something important here."

"I can see that." Koumei said simply, taking a seat at the table. "Ah, a cup of tea for me as well, if you could, Uehara-san."

"...you're not leaving, are you?"

"And miss something as interesting as this?" Koumei asked, merely arching his brow. "Hardly."

Clicking his tongue, Kansuke looked away in disgust, refusing to face the man- a tactic that Yui somehow couldn't help but feel was entirely appropriate for his new body. "Damnit."

"Language, Kan-chan." Now that she had composed herself somewhat, Yui lightly scolded the boy, doing her best to mask her teasing intent. "Children don't swear."

"Like I said, I'm not a child, Uehara!" Kansuke snapped.

"Your appearance would indicate otherwise." Koumei noted. "Perhaps you should address Uehara-san with a bit more respect."

"Perhaps I should start calling you Koumei-ojisan." Kansuke remarked dryly.

That earned a twitch in Koumei's otherwise perfectly composed expression. "So you admit that you're a child, then."

"I'm not a-!" Kansuke began, only to be cut off by the sound of Yui slamming a tray against the table.

"Right now, you're both acting like children." Yui pointed out. "And since only one of you actually looks it, I would advise the both of you to desist, before I revoke my generous offer and let you both enjoy the cold together."

"...I'm still not a child." Kansuke muttered underneath his breath.

"Yes, yes, you're not a child." Yui said simply, placing a cup of tea in front of him. "But Inspector Morofushi is right. You do look like one. Any chance you care to explain, Kan-chan?"

"I was rather hoping for that myself. Even for you, turning into a child is most unusual." Koumei remarked, accepting the cup that he was being offered. "Ah, thank you."

Heaving a long, disgruntled sigh, Kansuke took a long sip of tea before he addressed the question at hand. "Just so you know, if I had both of my eyes, something like this wouldn't have happened. Damn bastard came up on my blind side."

"And don't language me again, Uehara." Kansuke added, his good eye flickering in her direction.

"I wasn't going to." Yui half pouted. "Don't get so mad, Kan-chan. I was only just teasing you a bit."

He was actually a bit cute, so it was hard to resist. But somehow she felt that calling him cute wouldn't go over well with him, so she wisely decided to keep it to herself.

There was a slight pause at that, Kansuke's lips curling into a frown- before he seemed to let it go with a slight shrug. "Well, whatever. I only managed to see one of them, and didn't get a chance to see the partner of his that took me by surprise, but like hell I'd ever forget the face of the one I did see."

"Did you get their names by any chance?" Yui asked, biting back a comment about unforgettable faces. "And what do you mean, took you by surprise? Are you saying that someone did this to you?"

"I've heard of monsters that steal youth, but never the reverse." Koumei noted.

"Not monsters, people." Kansuke stressed, turning his head to look at Koumei. "Just a pair of crooks. That huge brute seemed to be up to something, so I thought I would look into it a bit, and look how things turned out for me."

"But what exactly did they do to you, Kan-chan?" Yui asked. "You still haven't told us yet."

"About that," Kansuke said, hand straying up behind his head, grimacing a little as his fingers brushed over the back of it. "...I don't actually remember."

"No wonder. Judging from the knot on your head, you must have been hit fairly hard." Koumei noted. "Though I'm surprised that anyone could have knocked someone with as thick a skull as yours out."

"Well, maybe if my skull was as thick as yours, Koumei." Kansuke shot back, dropping his hand away from his head.

"Eh? You got hit on the head, Kan-chan?" Yui asked, rising to her feet, wasting no time in inserting herself behind him, crouching down. Though Kansuke grumbled at the attention, he didn't stop her from fussing over him, only averting his eye so that he didn't have to look at the expression Koumei was giving him.

Bastard was probably thinking something along the lines of it looking like a mother fussing over her child anyways. Honestly. He was supposed to be the older one here.

"You're right!" Yui exclaimed after a moment. "Since your hair is so dark, I didn't notice at all. Are you sure you don't need to go to the hospital?"

"I'll be fine. I've taken worse hits before." Kansuke told her. "Even if I wanted to, it's not like I have any identification that we could use anyways. Who's going to believe I'm actually in my thirties when I have this sort of appearance?"

There was a slight pause, and then- "Besides, I've had more than enough of hospitals for one lifetime."

"...that's true." Yui admitted after a moment, pulling her hands away. "I guess you would have."

"Well, don't worry about it, Uehara." As if sensing her worries, he glanced back in her direction, flashing her a broad grin. "I'm made of pretty tough stuff!"

"If you say so, Kan-chan." Yui simply said. She might have accepted his refusal, but she knew full well that he was the type to downplay his own injuries, so watching over him wouldn't hurt. Even if he did complain about it later, she was used to the sound of his protests.

"Still, I doubt that turning you into a child was their intention." Koumei mused, ignoring how strange that sentence felt on his lips. In truth, he was working very hard to keep his composure in this moment, surreal as this situation was. "If you really saw something that you shouldn't have, it would make more sense for them to try and silence you."

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking. From what little I could gather before I blacked out, they seemed to recognize I was a cop, at least." Kansuke noted, pausing for a moment to glance behind him again. It didn't look as if Yui was going to move out from behind him, but at the very least, she was warm, so he wasn't going to protest too much. "Of course, by the time I woke up like this, they were long gone."

"I suppose all we can do at this point is go back to where you attacked." Koumei said, his gaze briefly flickering in Kansuke's direction, lips curling into a tight frown. "And perhaps find you some clothes that actually fit. Dare I ask where you left your pants?"

"Eh, somewhere." Kansuke said with a shrug. "Does it really matter?"

"If that pair really wanted to kill you, they might serve as evidence." Koumei noted. Normally he'd chide Kansuke for forgetting something that important, but to be fair, he did seem to have other things on his mind at the moment. He'd let him off- but only this once. "Regardless, there's not much else that can be done this late at night. What were you doing out at this hour anyways, Kansuke-kun?"

"Evening rehab." Kansuke said simply, finishing off his tea. "Oi, Uehara, seconds."

"Yes, yes." Taking the cup from him, Yui rose to her feet, making her way back over towards the kitchen. "But if you were using your usual route, that should have brought you closer to Inspector Morofushi's place... why come out all the way here, Kan-chan? It couldn't have been easy with your leg."

"I believe he already stated that he didn't want me to see him in such a comprising state." Koumei noted, leveling his gaze on him even as he took a polite sip of his tea. "Well, it would seem that his strategy this time failed."

"I swear, if you're setting up another Yamamoto Kansuke crack-" Kansuke began, pausing briefly mid sentence to accept the cup that Yui placed in his hand, "...then I suggest you quit. I'm seriously not in the mood."

"Now, now, you two." Yui said, taking her place at the table across from Kansuke back up, finally taking a moment to take a sip of her own tea. "I don't think bickering will get us anywhere at this point. I'm sure Kan-chan is tired anyways. It's pretty late."

"It's barely even nine." Kansuke noted, brows furrowing together. "I wouldn't call that late."

"For a child, it is." Koumei pointed out, ignoring Kansuke's pointed glower as he finished off his tea and rose to his feet. "Well then, I suppose I should go and collect the evidence that Kansuke-kun clumsily left behind."

"You try being compacted down to three times your height, and see how you handle it, Koumei." Kansuke dryly remarked. "Well, not that I'd ever want to see a child with that tiny mustache of yours, Koumei-ojisan."

"Yes, well," narrowing his eyes at the latter remark, Koumei refused to give the one who for all the world looked no different from any other mischievous child the satisfaction of further reaction, "...we'll finish this discussion when I return. Provided Kansuke-kun hasn't fallen asleep by then."

"Like I said, just because I look like a kid doesn't mean I am-!"

Though she thought she would have to interrupt their bickering once more, Yui found it was Kansuke himself who schooled himself into silence. He appeared to be rather lost in thought, though as to what it could be that had caused his thoughts to drift so inward was beyond her ability to guess.

"Hey, Uehara." Kansuke began, sparing her a glance. "You still have that girl's phone number, don't you? The one with the ponytail, who followed around that loudmouthed Osakan kid?"

"You mean Kazuha-chan?" Yui asked, blinking a little, before nodding her head. "Yes, I do. But what on earth do you need her for?"

Even as she asked that, the gears in her own head began to turn- and out of the corner of her eye, she could see them doing very much the same in Koumei's head as well. Speaking of children who didn't always act very much like children...

"...do you perhaps want Conan-kun's phone number?"

"That'd be bingo."

Elsewhere, in Tokyo, Edogawa Conan let out a loud sneeze, hoping that he wasn't catching a cold again.