Last chapter! Tell me what you think. Enjoy. ;)

Chapter 6: Thoughts of a Wolf

Remus woke up the next morning feeling… exhausted. Not physically- physically, he was ready to seize the day. He was more… emotionally exhausted. Too much had happened yesterday, and Remus was dreading facing classes.

He had worked hard on his Transfiguration essay, though, and it would be a huge waste of effort if he got a 0 on it for not turning it in.

He got ready quickly, and headed towards the Great Hall. It all went downhill from there.

First, Snape tripped him and Remus fell down the moving staircase, hissing about foolish half-breeds. Then, Peeves swooped down the corridor, cackling his favorite phrase, "Loony, Loopy, Lupin!" and doused Remus with what Remus hoped was purple ink. When he got to the Great Hall, he discovered that he hadn't been the only victim, but he still felt rotten. He had begun to walk over to sit with Peter, James, and Sirius, before remembering that, well, they were through, and then turned to Lily before remembering that she wasn't speaking to him either. So he sat by himself for the first time in a long time, feeling rather lonely. To make matters worse, all the meat on the table had been eaten already. Now, maybe it was a werewolf thing, but Remus had to start the day with some sort of meat- otherwise, he had a terrible migraine the whole day. Feeling one coming on, he spread some jam on his toast, only to realize that it was blueberry jam, which he hated. He downed his tea, which was much too bitter, and headed out of the Hall, deciding not to eat anything. However, Snape chose then to make his reappearance with his friends Avery and Nott, and Remus found himself outnumbered. Then, suddenly, everything was upside down and spinning, and Remus felt like a fool as he hung upside down from his ankle, slowly spinning in a circle, a good half hour after the Slytherins had left. Which made him late for class, and gave him an automatic failing grade on his Transfiguration homework- the only reason he had left the dorm that morning.

Remus struggled to reach his wand, which had fallen to the floor when Snape had turned him upside down. He couldn't grab it.

"Remus?"

Remus tried to focus on the person who had spoken, but he was still spinning, so it was difficult. "Er- Amos Diggory?" he tried.

"Yeah… Do you need help?" Amos asked awkwardly.

"I've been stuck up here since breakfast." Remus replied sarcastically. "'Course I don't need help."

Amos winced. "That means you've missed half your classes. It's lunch."

Remus cursed.

Amos let him down. Remus thanked him, gathered his things, and staggered back towards the Hall, horribly dizzy.

After he had turned in all his late homework and eaten an apple, Remus went to the common room to read all the chapters the others had covered in the classes he missed, attempting to catch up. Or, he tried to. Apparently, the password had changed.

He sat outside the portrait hole, trying so hard to concentrate on his work, but he was too hungry. The day's events kept replaying in his head, making him want to hurl his books off the Astronomy Tower. Then two Hufflepuffs third years walked by. Due to his werewolf hearing, he heard more than he wished he had of their conversation.

"Did you finish the essay on werewolves, June?"

"Yeah. They're terrifying, aren't they? The Ministry's right to be keeping such close tabs on the one's who've registered- I wouldn't want to go to school with one, would you, Amy?"

The first girl laughed. "'Course not! I'm just glad most of them are hiding underground in- what do they call them? Packs?"

"Yeah. It's where they belong- they're dangerous. I say, let them be a danger to each other and not us humans."

"I agree, June. They're wild animals."

At that point, Remus couldn't hear any more, but what he had heard was enough.

Those Hufflepuffs were right. He should be with his own kind.

The thing that hurt the most? He tutored both of them.

"Sirius, James, aren't you worried about Remus? He never showed up to any of his classes…"

"Who cares where he is?" Sirius asked sulkily. "He's probably happier without us."

James sat up straighter. "But we aren't." he said slowly. "And the three of us are very selfish men, right?"

"Er-" began Sirius.

"Not really-" started Peter.

"We want Moony back, boys." James declared loudly, cutting them off. "And the Marauders always get what we want. If Moony doesn't want to be our friend, we'll force him to be. 'Cause we're selfish. And that's gonna save the Marauders."

A grin grew slowly on Sirius' face. "Mr. Padfoot agrees with Mr. Prongs. Very selfish."

"Mr. Wormtail questions Mr. Prongs' wording, but believes his heart is in the right place." Peter smiled.

"Mr. Prongs suggests we find Mr. Moony!" whooped James, and cheering, they left, leaving a very confused common room behind them.

Remus finished writing his letter. Actually, he had written four. One to his parents, explaining that he loved them very much, but that he was convinced that his joining a pack and leaving them forever would make them happier and free them of a burden. The second was to Dumbledore, informing him of his decision to leave the school, though he gave no reasons why. The third was to a pack near London, to tell them that he would be joining them before long. The fourth and final letter was addressed to Messrs. Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, explaining his sudden disappearance and his desire to be left alone.

He headed to the Owlry, and mailed the letters addressed to his parents and Dumbledore, and was about to mail the one to the werewolf pack when his friends burst through the door, panting, the Marauder's Map clutched tightly in James' fist.

"Moony-" wheezed Sirius. "We came to say that- what are you doing?"

Remus regarded them coldly. He handed Sirius the letter addressed to the three of them, and continued tying the pack's letter to an owl. This was proving difficult, however, because his fingers had grown clumsy from nervousness. There was no going back once this letter was sent. He'd be doomed as an outcast forever, and quite frankly, it scared him.

"You're leaving?" James gasped, incredulous. "You can't leave!"

"And why ever not?" Remus asked warily.

"We need you!" Peter sounded panicked. "It's not Hogwarts without you!"

"That's not what you thought the past week." Remus pointed out.

"Remus, you can't go there!" Sirius protested. "You're throwing your life away!"

Remus wiped his sweaty palms on his robes. "I'm pretty sure it's my decision whether or not to throw my life away."

James ran over and stood in front of the window. "We won't let you."

"Get out of the way." Remus ordered.

Sirius came forward and grabbed Remus' arm. "So help me, Moony, I will drag you to your bed, tie you down, confiscate your wand, and lock the door to the dorm, if need be."

Remus raised an eyebrow angrily. "It's back to Moony now, is it?"

His three friends looked suddenly ashamed. Their eyes were lowered, but James did not step away from the window, and Sirius did not let go of his arm.

"Yeah." whispered James. "It is." he looked up at Remus. "Moony, we came to find you to force you to be our friend again."

Remus blinked. "What?"

James took a deep breath and continued. "We miss you. We miss your brilliantness-"

"Not a word." Remus cut in.

"-we miss you correcting our grammar, and we miss- we miss-"

"Your sarcastic sense of humor." Sirius smiled gently. "We even miss the scoldings you give us."

"And," piped up Peter. "We miss sneaking into Hogsmeade for a butterbeer with you. It's not the same without you. We tried. It was boring."

James and Sirius were nodding vigorously. They all looked so sincere that Remus couldn't help but give them a small smile. But then it fell. "I'm still leaving." he stated quietly.

Sirius frowned. "Even if you live in a pack, Remus, you're still gonna be a werewolf."

"But they won't look at me like I'm some sort of monster." Remus murmured. "They'll be just like me."

"Except, they won't be." James said firmly. "Moony, they won't be like you. They're not gonna lock themselves up to avoid hurting others. No one else will speak so kindly of non-werewolves- they'll hate them."

"Yeah, mate." sighed Sirius. "You're the most selfless person I know. Just... if you do go," his voice broke. "Don't turn all bitter like they are. Don't-" Sirius suddenly pulled Remus into a bone-crushing hug. "Damnit, Moony. Don't leave. I'd never forgive myself."

"What do you mean?" choked Remus.

"Moony, honestly. If you leave now, it'll be all our fault. We sent you over the edge. We'll know that a week from now. We'll know that ten years from now. And we'll never be able to ease that guilt. I'll," he faltered. "I'll never be able to tell you that when I called you a- a half-breed, that I was just trying to get you to yell at me, because I was tired of you ignoring me, and instead I just drove you away because I was just too damn proud to swallow my pride and apologize, and call myself a git."

"Well," James croaked. "I feel the same way. The first bit, at least."

Peter nodded in agreement. "Don't go, Moony." he begged. "Please."

Remus was silent. Sirius began to pull away, defeated, but Remus yanked him back, and buried his face into Sirius' shoulder. "I suppose someone has to make sure you all don't end up in Azkaban."

All four of them laughed, and James and Peter joined the- very manly- hug.

The Marauders were a foursome once more.

They still hadn't pulled away from each other when Professor McGonagall came rushing in. "Remus, please reconsi-" her gaze fell on the startled boys, who were quickly untangling themselves. "Ah." she smiled. "I see you already have."

Remus was confused for a moment before he remembered the letter he had sent Dumbledore. "Oh no!" he gasped. "Professor I'm not leaving anymore. I-" his eyes widened. "I have to tell my parents I changed my mind!"

As he ran out, James looked Professor McGonagall square in the eye. "Professor, there's something you should know. We should have told you awhile ago. It concerns Remus' prefect badge…"

A week later, and the Marauders were wreaking their regular havoc. Remus' badge had been given back to him (though the four boys were given two months' detention for their deception), and Lily had once again resumed talking to him. Remus still thought of his lycanthropy as a curse, but, as he watched James and Sirius throwing potions ingredients at each other during one of their detentions, he realized that they'd never leave him for what he was- they'd never even consider it. He was happy, with the best friends anyone could ask for. He was finally happy.

After all, every curse could be broken.