Chapter 14

It had been a few months after Hiccup had proposed to Astrid and things were still running smoothly. So far there had been no fights between his mother and mother in-law about decorations, table settings, or even the guest list. His father and Astrid's got along surprisingly well as they helped choose the menu for the big day. Hiccup thought that they were just in it for the food and he was right, especially when they needed to taste test.

Toothless had only set Snotlout on fire thrice as they had been practicing the rehearsal wedding and the dinner, which was a new record. Hiccup never thought of Cookie as the sentimental type but as the wedding day approached the poor demonic jar began to weep that his owner was getting older.

It was on the day of the wedding that things got interesting. Hiccup, not nervous at all… no siree… was sitting on the couch playing with Toothless a few hours before he had to head to the venue to get ready, when granny poofed in.

"What?" Hiccup exclaimed out of shock as he nearly fell from the couch as Astrid's granny appeared, while wearing a spandex suit.

"Granny Hofferson?!" Hiccup exclaimed as Toothless let out a whine of annoyance at being ignored. "What are you doing here…. now… in my apartment…. Wearing THAT?!" He exclaimed looking slightly shocked. He'd have been more shocked if he was just a normal human who hadn't been dating a demoness and hadn't met said demoness' quirky relatives, friends, foes and what not, on nearly a daily basis.

"Shhh" Granny hushed him as thrusted a package into his arms. "I really need you to keep this safe." She told him before grabbing a grappling gun and poofing out again while striking a fabulous pose. Hiccup looked in confusion at the box and then to where granny Hofferson had been standing.

"Hiccup darling are you alright?" Astrid asked as she was about to head to the venue. She spotted the large box in his lap and raised a brow. "What is that?"

Hiccup shrugged before opening the box. As he looked inside he raised his brows upon seeing the contents. "Astrid dear…." Hiccup trailed off. "Does your grandmother have a penchant for spandex and eggs?"

"WHUT?!" Astrid asked confused before she peered into the box from behind the couch. Inside it laid a large black egg.

"Uhmm…. Hiccup" Astrid mumbled. "That's a dragon egg."

"I know." Hiccup said as he remembered Toothless' egg. "Why did she bring it here?"

"Beats me." Astrid shrugged as she still avoided coming into Hiccup's line of vision. "Granny does weird things." She proceeded to kiss Hiccup, her soon to be husband on the cheek, before heading out. 'Heather and Ruffnut are waiting downstairs." She told him. "Now no peeking." She said as she covered his eyes. "It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding." She giggled before giving Hiccup another quick peck and leaving him alone with the egg in the box.

Toothless being as curious as ever flew up and sat on Hiccup's head while peering at the black egg. "I honestly have no idea what I'm doing with this." Hiccup mumbled to himself before he got up and went to get the egg cozy that Toothless' egg had been in.

"Need to keep it warm at least." Hiccup murmured as he put the egg in the cozy. Cookie had hopped onto the coffee table and was mumbling something that sounded strangely like "Not another one."

Hiccup rubbed the back of his head and then came to the decision to take the egg with him to the venue, which was outdoors near a large swan filled lake. During the whole wedding preparation that had been the easiest to find. The hardest had been a pastor. When they found out who and what the bride-to-be was and who all would be in attendance they would either faint, scream bloody murder, scream and then faint, or run like their pants had been set on fire, which in a few instances had been the case because of his grumbling fiance. One even tried to do an exorcism.

In the end they had everything ready except for someone to marry them. That was until Hiccup's godfather Gobber showed up, grinning like a loon, and showed them his licence to perform marriages. Astrid was very happy when she heard the news and even more so when she read the wedding ceremony script that Gobber would be using.

Now Hiccup sat here waiting for Snotlout. His black tuxedo, recently pressed and made fireproof; the latter at Astrid's request, hung nearby. Hiccup hoped that the wedding wouldn't be as insane as the bachelor and bachelorette parties. He still shuddered at what the twins had planned and idly wondered where they got the elephant and the marching band of male strippers.

The doorbell rang and Hiccup went to answer it. "There's my lucky cuz!" Snotlout exclaimed before attempting to lift Hiccup up in a hug. "I can't believe today is the big day!"

"Yeah Snotlout." Hiccup smiled nervously. "I think my brain hasn't registered it yet."

"You're not getting cold feet are you?" Snotlout asked as he grabbed Hiccup. "Because I already moisturized my handsome face for this event."

"No Snot. I'm not getting cold feet." Hiccup answered. "I just don't think my brain has caught up yet. I was so nervous yesterday that I put salt in my coffee….. And now… nothing."

Snotlout looked at his cousin pensively before clapping him on the back. "I'm sure everything will be fine." The shorter one said before he walked further inside and started helping Hiccup with the stuff that still had to be taken to the venue. Toothless and Cookie were also coming along and Hiccup picked up the large black egg to take with him as well.

"Don't ask." Hiccup told Snotlout who was gaping at the egg while mumbling "What the hell!"

They made it to the venue within an hour and Hiccup raised a brow as he saw Tuffnut walk by while holding a chainsaw and an ice pick. "You know what…. I don't want to know." Hiccup muttered. The last time he had asked Tuffnut what he was up to he received some cryptic explanation about the smoothness of marble and a certain part of the human anatomy.

"Son there you are!" Stoick exclaimed as he hugged Hiccup.

"Dad what are you doing here so early?" Hiccup asked confused. "I thought you and mom were going to arrive when the other guests got here."

"Well we decided to come a bit early as we needed to pick up the wedding cake." His father laughed as he and Hiccup walked across the venue. The area was right near the lake and the chairs and altar were situated in the shade of some large weeping willows. Dark blue and white flowers decorated the pathway and not far from there was the large reception tent where the cake stood. A four tier vanilla almond cake covered in white and dark blue fondant. The cake topper was one his future mother in law picked up. It was of the bride picking up the groom bridal style.

Hiccup heard some sniffing beside him and he turned to see is father secretly try to wipe away some tears. "Dad?" Hiccup asked only to be enveloped in another hug by Stoick. "Oh my baby boy is growing up so fast!" He sniffed. "Why it seemed like only yesterday I was changing ya nappies and now you're getting married!"

"Dad!" Hiccup gasped. "Can't breathe!"

"OOPS!" Stoick realized and promptly set Hiccup down. Why don't ya get ready son. I'm going to check if the Maid of Honor hasn't spiked the punch yet."

"Right" Hiccup said before he walked back to Snotlout's car only to see him being headbutted by Toothless.

"ACK!" Snotlout exclaimed while Cookie was rooting for the little black dragon. Hiccup shook his head at their antics.

Time passed fairly quickly and soon Hiccup was putting the finishing touches on his tuxedo. He tucked a blue rose into his lapel and then turned to Toothless who was sitting on a table next to the black egg. The little black dragon had a large blue bow tied around his neck and cocked his head curiously at Hiccup. "Now no setting this bow on fire." Hiccup told Toothless who merely wagged his tail. There was a poofing sound and Hiccup turned around to see what was happening. His eyes widened when he saw four demons with him in the tent. 'Oh boy' he thought.

Meanwhile Astrid was twirling in front of the mirror as Ruffnut, her Maid of Honor, and Heather, also a bridesmaid, fussed about. Astrid had found this wonderful dress in a little bridal shop in town. It was a dark blue off the shoulder dress outfitted with a cape long train and silver studded beads. She liked the gown the minute she saw it.

"So far everything is on schedule." Heather said as she went down her checklist while Valka was helping Astrid put on her veil. "The caterers have everything in place, Alvin and his band are ready to begin the wedding march, and it looks like clear skies for the rest of the day."

"Honestly the only thing I need is Hiccup." Astrid dreamily mumbled.

"Well I already checked off the groom." Heather stated. "It should be a piece of cake." Suddenly the tent flap to Astrid's changing room was shoved open and a panting Snotlout ran inside. "HICCUP'S MISSING!" Snotlout yelled before Valka covered his mouth as to not alarm any nearby guests.

"Heather you might want to uncheck that groom from your list." Ruffnut mumbled before she quickly went out of the tent and got Stoick and Astrid's parents. She got back just in time to see Astrid nearly choking Snotlout while asking "Where is my groom?!" Valka was trying to pry her off the poor man while Heather didn't know what to do.

"Where is MY groom!" Astrid asked as her mother also started helping Valka with prying the bride from the best man.

"I don't know!" Snotlout exclaimed as he could finally breathe again. "I went to find Hiccup and he wasn't in his tent. Toothless and that egg weren't there either."

"The egg!" Astrid exclaimed before turning to her grandmother who had also followed the others. "Granny why did you give Hiccup that egg?"

"Well….." Granny said sheepishly. "I thought it would be rather safe with him. I didn't think that they would have found out."

"They?!" Astrid muttered. "Granny you've been on one of your missions again?" Astrid now asked as she already had an idea of what had happened.

"It was a last minute thing I had to do." Granny told her. "But don't worry. I placed a homing beacon on that egg."

"That's all I needed to know." Astrid said as she turned towards her father. "Daddy can I use your armory?" She asked sweetly. Knowing he couldn't refuse his daughter he handed over the keys. Without much warning Astrid poofed out of the tent, wedding dress and all.

"Uhm…. where is she going?" Heather asked as the wedding was about to start in a few minutes.

"Getting her man back." Astrid's mother laughed. "It shouldn't take long knowing my daughter."

"But what will we do about the guests. Wouldn't they be wondering about where the bride and groom are?" Heather questioned again.

"No worries!" Ruffnut suddenly said. "I'll just ask my brother to improvise."

Meanwhile Hiccup had been tied to a chair somewhere in Hell and was watching the entire scene unfold before him without a care in the world. He had already figured out by their conversation that these demons were dragon smugglers and they were now in trouble because the egg that they had promised their buyer had just hatched. Toothless had been growling at the demons if they tried to come closer to the newly hatched Night Fury. The little black hatchling had stunning blue eyes and was happily nuzzling Toothless who was using one of the demons as target practice for his fireballs.

"Ugh… this can't be happening." One demon grumbled. "What are we going to do now? There is no way our buyer will accept this."

"I heard he was going to make the famous dragon egg stew." Another mumbled to the one standing there.

"We just lucked out on a big pay day." Another angrily smashed his fist through a table.

"Boss….." One of the demons spoke up. "What we gonna do with him?" He asked while pointing to Hiccup.

"Eh….. how about you just let us go?" Hiccup suggested. This caused the demons in the room to guffaw.

"This human is funny!" The boss laughed.

"No… I'm actually really serious." Hiccup told them. "If you let me go then there wouldn't be a need for an ambulance."

"Listen puny human. You're not going to be alive soon. I doubt you'll need an ambulance." The boss grumbled.

"Uh…. the ambulance isn't for me." Hiccup told the group. "It's for you guys." This elicited another round of laughter from the smugglers.

"Boss ya sure we can't keep him?" Another demon asked. Just as the boss was about to respond the door was banged open and in ran a large burly demon with its tail between his legs. The demon proceeded to quickly shove the large metal door close, lock it and drag a desk in front of it.

"WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!" The frantic demon gasped.

"What's wrong?" The boss asked as he tried to calm his underling down.

"We need to get out of here!" The demon frantically said again. "The others have already been defeated."

"What?" Those in the room shouted as they heard an explosion from somewhere.

"What army invaded our base?" The boss asked as the others got out their weapons.

"Not an army!" The demon mumbled. "It's some pissed off bride!"

Hiccup's eyes widened and he lifted a brow just as another explosion was heard. This one knocked back the desk and metal door. On the other side Hiccup saw Astrid, standing above the rubble and several knocked out demons with axe in one hand, a RPG launcher that looked recently fired in the other, and a portable gatling gun strapped to her back.

"HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY FUTURE HUSBAND AND FATHER OF MY CHILDREN!" She screamed as the other demons, who were still conscious, in the room backed up. "AND ON OUR WEDDING DAY NO LESS!" Astrid continued on as she looked at the demons with rage filled eyes. "I HAVE WAITED FOR THIS DAY FOR A LONG TIME AND NO THIRD RATE GANG OF DEMONS IS GOING TO RUIN IT!"

Astrid proceeded to march into the room and started taking out demon after demon until she got to the leader of the group. She grabbed him by the neck and hissed "Do you have any idea how long it took me to find the perfect wedding lingerie!" The boss quickly shook his head in the hopes to appease her.

Astrid turned to where Hiccup was bound and said "Honey I'll be with you in a minute!" She then proceeded to teach the demons a well deserved lesson. Hiccup thought that they'd think twice now about pissing off a bride.

Meanwhile back at the wedding venue Tuffnut was keeping the guests busy with his ice sculpting technique. So far he had sculpted out of the giant block of ice a realistic looking chicken which was holding up a martini glass as if in a toast.

Heather discreetly made her way towards Ruffnut and Snotlout and told them "Astrid and Hiccup just got back." They all went into the tent to see Astrid dusting herself off while Hiccup helped her with her weapons. There were far more on her than he could see. The gatling gun was placed on the dresser, her axe on a chair along with several knives, shurikens and a mace that she somehow kept hidden in the wedding dress.

"So shall we get this party started?" Snotlout asked as Astrid set her veil right.

"Hell yes!" Both Hiccup and Astrid said in unison. Toothless and the newly hatched dragon also warbled happily. Ruffnut poked her head out of the tent and gave her brother a motion to indicate that they were ready. Tuffnut stopped adorning the chicken he had just carved out of the ice and quickly wheeled the sculpture away. Alvin and the others stood ready as Hiccup took his place on the altar.

"Cutting it close Hiccup." Gobber whispered to him.

"You have no idea." He answered back as Alvin and his band started playing the wedding march. The guests stood up as Matthew walked down the aisle spreading flower petals everywhere. Cookie followed after him and hobbled down the aisle with a pillow on his head holding the golden wedding bands. Several of Hiccup's distant family raised some brows at the jar. Cookie was followed by Heather and Fishlegs and then Ruffnut and Snotlout. Once everyone had taken their place at the altar Astrid arrived in all her demon glory. She made her way forward as her demon friends and family members on one side cried, while Hiccup's family gushed. Eret who had made up with Camicazi had taken her as his date to the wedding. She discreetly handed him a tissue as he was tearing up at the happy occasion.

The guests sat back down once Astrid had reached the altar. On her left side she saw Stoick and Valka sitting in the front row. On her right her own family. Granny discreetly gave her a thumbs up. Astrid handed her blue and white bouquet to Ruffnut as she turned to face Hiccup.

Gobber cleared his throat and began the ceremony. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in infernal matrimony. To celebrate one of life's greatest moments, the joining of two hearts and to give recognition to the worth and beauty of love."

"Now that we can finally start this shindig." Gobber said, eliciting several laughs from the audience. "Should there be anyone who has cause why this couple should not be united in marriage, Shush! Or face the wrath of the bride."

Astrid turned slightly to glare at anyone who would think to interrupt. Satan who was sitting in the third row whispered to Jezebel "That woman is scarier without her axe."

"Good!" Gobber exclaimed as no one spoke up. "Now that that part is over we can get to the juicy bit."

"Today we have come together to witness the joining of these two lives. They met each other, fell in love and are finalizing it with their wedding." Gobber recited. "Now I'm not about to bore you anymore as all of you came to see these two finally get married, so without further ado, the vows please."

Hiccup lifted Astrid's veil and took her hand. "I, Hiccup Horrendous haddock the Third take you Astrid Antoinette Hofferson to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever and through all your cooking attempts."

"Brave lad" Gobber whispered.

Astrid smiled at Hiccup as she started her vows "I, Astrid Antoinette Hofferson take you Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third to be my husband, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever and through all your sassy and sarcastic attempts."

"Yes, quite the sass this one has." Gobber mumbled before stating "Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third do you take Astrid Antoinette Hofferson to be your loving demon wife?"

"I do" Hiccup said without any hesitation.

"And do you Astrid Antoinette Hofferson take Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third to be your loving husband?"

"I do" Astrid stated.

Gobber then proceeded to the part of the rings. Once both Hiccup and Astrid had on their wedding bands he said "By the power vested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss!" he laughed as he said this. Hiccup proceeded to dip Astrid and kiss her deeply as the guests cheered and clapped.

"May I present to you our happy couple!" Gobber shouted as Hiccup and Astrid proceeded to walk back down the aisle.

The reception that followed was a thing of beauty. Astrid and Hiccup had had their first dance as a married couple while they also gave Ruffnut the thumbs up as she managed to snag Snotlout.

More than half the room was on the dance floor when Hiccup asked "So…. father of your children?" Hiccup asked her as he gave his new wife a sly smile.

Astrid laughed a little and then said. "Yup and it looks like we kind of started early." Hiccup stopped dancing as he looked at Astrid in shock. The other couples on the dance floor also stopped to see what was going on.

"Astrid are you telling me that you're pregnant?" Hiccup asked as he blinked curiously at her.

"Oh yes." She mumbled. "I switched out our champagne for the non-alcoholic version."

"Astrid that's wonderful!" Hiccup exclaimed as he enveloped her in a hug.

"All three of our children are going to be so cute!" Astrid gushed. Hiccup's eyebrows flew up as he sputtered. "Did you just say….. Three?"

"Yes. I'm having triplets it seems." Astrid told him. Hiccup just looked at her blankly for a moment before he fell backwards in a faint. "Oh my gosh Hiccup!" Astrid shouted as she bent down to revive her poor husband.

"We have a code Orange!" Gobber shouted as several caterers sprang into action. "I repeat we have a code Orange! The groom is down! I repeat the groom is down!"

One of the staff came running with some smelling salts while another checked if Hiccup had no head injury.

"They seem awfully prepared for this." Stoick mentioned to Gobber.

"Oh trust me. This happens more than you think." Gobber replied as he looked at the poor fainted lad.

-THE END-

AN:

Dragon1010: "Well now. That was an ending."

Thearizona: (is carrying a crossbow) "You can say that again."

Vala: "I'm leaving the rest up to the readers imaginations."

Dragon1010: "Sounds good" (turns to Thearizona) "Why do you have a crossbow?"

Thearizona: "Oh I found it at a yard sale." (Dragon1010 starts touching it) "Be careful! The trigger is rather….." (an arrow is released from the bow) "Nevermind"

Warorpeace: "YEAOCH!" (Falls out of palm tree with arrow sticking out of his behind)

Dragon1010: "OOPS"

Thearizona: "Wait…. He was in that tree all this time?"

Vala: "Yup"

Dragon1010: "Why do I have a feeling that you had something to do with that?"

Vala: "I don't know what you mean."

Thearizona: "Suuuure"

Vala: "I have the right to remain silent." (huffs)

Warorpeace: "HEY! Can someone get this arrow out of my behind! Guys…. Hey GUYS!"