Chapter 1: Balcony Confessions

Where had it all gone wrong? Kara thought, as she looked over the city that she loved on the rooftop of the place that was once her refuge. When did everything in my life become so out of control? But Kara did not need to take too long to figure that out, because she knew when everything went to hell; the day she arrived on earth. Or was it the day that her planet blew up? So much could have been avoided if she had just gone down with her planet, or even if Krypton had never been destroyed.

Looking at the bustling city that seems to be the only constant in her life at the moment, Kara couldn't help but wonder why it is that this city that she so adores, that she protects so fiercely is the only thing in her life at the moment that is keeping her here. It has been two weeks since she and her sister have had a civil conversation that lasted beyond three sentences, even then it was DEO business. Snapper fired her for trying to warn the aliens of the danger and even though she knew it would happen, she foolishly thought that he would regret not listening to her and be secretly proud of her for what she had done. Kara really should have known better, now she is not only fired from her job, but she is banned from the place she sought refuge when her life as Supergirl got to be too much.

If that weren't enough she was on the outs with Winn and James. Ever since finding out that James is the Guardian with Winn as his sidekick, their treatment of her has been frosty at best and downright cold at worst. Kara knows she could have handled her reaction better, but with everything that has been going on with her lately, finding out that her two best friends lied to her for months and had no intention of telling her about this hurt. Especially finding out that not only did everyone know about this but her, but that nobody had any intention of telling her about this. That felt like a betrayal, to think that she is there for them whenever they need her, no matter what, but when she needs them they will stab her in the back.

Lately it feels like whenever Kara needed them to hold what little sanity she has left together, they were too worried about their pride and their ego to help her. So what Kara flipped out? It is perfectly understandable for her to be pissed off that they would keep this from her, that now she had to worry about them as well with everything going on. Unlike her, James and Winn are human! They have no healing abilities, no super powers to help them out when things get too serious, nothing to keep them from getting killed! Kara knows that superpowers aren't everything, she knows that you don't need to have super powers to save someone's life or make a difference, but when it is her friends and her loved ones lives on the line; well hypocrite or not damn right she does not approve of this!

Releasing an angry huff, Kara closed her eyes and tried to find her center. Flying was a way for her to relax, normally hanging out with her family and friends would calm her but with all of the problems and drama going on she has resorted to flying to keep her calm. As she relaxed, her super hearing caught the sound of a familiar heartbeat. With a frown, Kara concentrated on the sound and its direction. With a small unconscious smile tugging at her lips, Kara found herself following the thrumming sound until it was so loud that it could have been right in front of her.

"Hello Supergirl," A rich throaty voice greeted her. With a jolt, Kara opened her eyes to find herself floating above the balcony of L-Corp, and there in front of her leant relaxed against the balcony drinking a glass of what smelled like Scotch was none other than Lena Luthor.

Lena Luthor, now there was another complication to her otherwise complicated life. Kara doesn't know what it was about the CEO that has caught and held her attention, but there is something about her that Kara cannot turn away from. No matter what anyone says about Lena, no matter how evil people claim she is, Kara cannot find it in herself to doubt her. It's funny, Kara mused that I could so easily doubt Jerimiah's loyalty and intentions, a man who was my father here on earth and yet I have never not once had a doubt about the one person on earth who I should be leery of and be filled with doubt about. It is ironic, but a sad truth that is all the more apparent when she finds herself drawn to the youngest Luthor anytime she is in a morose mood. At this point I mind as well tell her my secret, I trust her with everything else and the strain of lying to her might kill me before a piece of Kryptonite will.

"Supergirl?" Lena's worried voice interrupted her self-reflection. Shaking herself out of her head, Kara let out a loud sigh as she floated down to the balcony, landing softly beside the CEO.

"Good evening Lena," Kara wearily responded, tired from the stress and the sleepless nights. Lena's brow furrowed as she took in the super hero's exhausted form. Supergirl's normally bright blue eyes were dimmed and filled with hurt and pain, seeing the pain in the normally confident and proud Kryptonian's eyes caused Lena's heart to clench in pain and worry. What could have possibly happened to make the normally unflappable Supergirl so miserable that she looked like one more emotional or mental blow might just do her in? Worried for her friends mental and emotional state, Lena determined to find out what has caused her friend such distress questioned her.

"What happened? Did something happen? Are you okay?" Lena fired off her questions one after the other, her worry making her ramble like a certain reporter she knew and loved. Kara Danvers is the only friend she has besides Supergirl in this city, Lena loves Kara like the sister that she never had. Kara is her best friend and though at times she sees something in the blondes eyes that might suggest that the reporter might wish for something more than friendship, Lena just dismisses it as Kara being her usual quirky self and she was just imagining it. Shaking herself out of her thoughts of Kara, as this was not the time to think about Kara when Supergirl is here and needs her, Lena focused on the hero.

Kara weakly chuckled at Lena's ramble, I guess that I am rubbing off on her, Kara mused to herself as she took in the panicking woman beside her. Lena was beautiful as always, wearing a smooth silken open back black cocktail dress with a plunging neckline, her hair was up in her usual bun and she has surprisingly no makeup on tonight. Lena Luthor is without a doubt the most gorgeous woman that Kara has ever known and if Kara thought that she had any chance whatsoever she would have made the Luthor hers a long time ago. Alas Kara knows that they can only be friends. Not only is the unattainable Luthor so far out of her league it isn't even funny, but she knows that Lena is as straight as an arrow. The amount of times that Kara has had to listen to Lena talk about Jack this and Jack that or the guy of the month she is dating is proof enough of her chances or her lack of with the beautiful Luthor.

Deciding to put the poor worried woman out of her misery, Kara thought of what to say to her. Despite the fact that she knows that Lena Luthor cannot know about her identity as Kara Danvers, she so badly wants to tell her. Though there are many reasons that she couldn't or shouldn't tell her, none of them are because she is a Luthor. Kara knows Lena well and can predict how Lena will react.

First, if she tells her who she is Lena will be hurt that Kara didn't tell her sooner. Lena will then suspect that it is because she is a Luthor and even if she believes Kara when she tells her that it is not the case, then she will suspect it is because she doesn't trust her. Which is ridicules because Kara trusts Lena Luthor with her life both as Kara Danvers and as Supergirl. The second reason Kara is hesitant to tell her the truth is because Lena will be in danger if she knew the truth. Not only will Lena be in danger from Kara's enemies, but from the DEO. Kara knows that the DEO will not take Lena knowing the truth too kindly if they were to find out, and with all of the betrayals the DEO has faced lately they might take drastic action. Kara can only pray to Rao that they wouldn't hurt Lena or force Kara to be apart from her, that just might kill her.

But despite knowing the reasons for not telling Lena the truth Kara finds herself confessing the truth anyway in the most Kara like fashion there is.

"I'm Kara!" Kara blurted out without preamble. After a seconds it dawned on her what she has just done and was horrified. What have I done! Kara lamented to herself silently as she took in Lena's pale and shocked face. Watching the various emotions flit across the CEO's face, first shock, hurt, sadness before finally settling on anger. Kara knew that she had made a big mistake. But if she had made such a big mistake, then why did it feel so good?

There was a moment of stunned silence after Kara's abrupt confession. To Kara, it seemed like forever when in reality it was only a minute ago when she had told her best friend her secret. Kara was so mortified! That was not what she wanted to say to her friend, that was not what she wanted to say at all! In fact Kara honestly didn't know what to say to her, there is no way that she is alright. There is too much going on in her life and everything is changing too much and too soon. But of course she in true Kara fashion instead of telling Lena that, she blurts out her worst kept secret to the one person who means too much to her to be turned away because of said secret.

Anytime someone finds out about her alternate identity they treat her different and as she watched Lena's emotionless face, she knew that Lena would be no different. The thought of Lena changing how she treats her or worse Lena hating her just about kills the blonde hero. Out of everyone she has met and held a deep personal connection with, Lena allows her to just be Kara Danvers. Lena doesn't expect Kara to be strong, she doesn't look at Kara like she is a goddess among mortals or as if she is a puppy that needs protection. Lena looks at Kara like she is someone precious to her, she looks at Kara like she is human and that is something Kara desperately needs.

Unfortunately, judging by the look on Lena's face it seems that now that the secret is out she will be like everyone else. There will be no more Kara Danvers, Lena's awkward only friend in National City. Now she will be Kara Danvers, the girl who lied to her and pretended to be something she isn't to probably keep tabs on the resident Luthor. Kara resisted the urge to fly away, knowing that she needs to suck it up and stay to deal with the consequences of her runaway mouth. For a while Kara honestly thought that she would just stare at her with that cold face until she left. Finally before Kara could flee, Lena's cold voice broke the tense silence.

"Leave." Kara flinched at both the look of hate that briefly flashed through Lena's eyes before they were blank again and the frosty tone as she practically spat at her. For a moment Kara just stared at her hoping she would change her mind, but as she looked into Lena's cold emerald eyes she knew that she would get nowhere with her tonight. Blinking back the tears that desperately wanted to fall from her moist eyes, Kara nodded to her seemingly ex- best friend. Taking a deep shuddering breath, Kara approached Lena to hug her for what would surely be the last time when Lena did something that Kara had never in her wildest dreams thought she would do because of her. Lena Luthor, one of the strongest and most awesome humans she has the pleasure to know flinched and took a step back from her in fear. Leana Luthor was afraid of her and Kara knew that no matter what things between them would never be the same again.

Seeing this, Kara lost the battle with her tears and before she could turn away a traitorous tear escaped. Determined not to give Lena another chance to hurt her, Kara swiftly turned away from the young Luthor and leapt off the balcony and flew off into the night. As Kara flew over her beloved city, Kara made a decision. Kara would no longer allow herself to be hurt anymore. Kara would no longer get close to anyone again. Kara will leave others before they can leave her. But the most important decision she made as she made her way home was going to be the most difficult promise to keep.

Kara Danvers will die.