*puts on black lipstick and writes shenanigans*

Author's Note: Because Twitter.

For Anybodihearme…

"Shh, shh," Edd tutted to the child tied to his torso, but she would not shh and he sighed as he looked over her very sleepy head at the screen on the kitchen island.

Over the course of his life, sticky notes had given way to bulleted lists made by computer programs designed to keep one's life organized and he used them thoroughly.

He just couldn't part with the sticky pieces of paper, though, and affectionately kissed the one on the top of his daughter's head as he said, "It's okay, Loren. Daddy's here."

Loren whined a bit more as she sucked on the back of her hand and finally started to doze off.

Strong arms slowly wrapping themselves around his waist made his heart rate skyrocket for a quick second before settling into back into its regular rhythm as Kevin peeked over his shoulder and to the sleeping child attached to him.

"Clean the gutters," he whispered as he read the note stuck to the top of Loren's sandy brown head. "You trying to tell me something, Dork?" He asked quietly as Edd sent their grocery list to Amazon.

"Yes," he answered softly as he started to slowly ease Loren out of the Moby wrap he had her tied in for most of the morning. "I need you to put her down and bring me back the baby monitor so I can hear her if she wakes up."

"Uh huh," Kevin said curiously, green eyes narrowed at the man in front of him who was busy paying bills, checking off their Saturday chores list, buying groceries, and pinning recipes for the week. "Anything else?"

"Just sweep up when you're done," Edd shrugged as he hit the Submit button on the screen to pay for another six months of medical insurance, his face a bit paler than normal, breathing ragged.

"Got it, Babe," Kevin said as he held Loren close and kissed his cheek before going to put her down for her midmorning nap.

Edd shuddered after he left the room and wondered what he could do to fix their chore budget.

Kevin detached the note from Loren's head and stuck it in his pocket after he laid her down, grabbed the baby monitor off of Edd's nightstand, his work boots out of their closet, and headed to the garage.

A cool breeze blew through the space as he opened the main door, the breeze coming through the side door Edd had just opened making him shudder a bit.

"Here," he said as he handed Edd the baby monitor.

"Thanks," Edd said softly before finally looking up at him and pleading, "Please be careful."

"Always," Kevin smiled before giving him a firm kiss on the mouth, donning his old construction hard hat, and taking a broom and a ladder to the side of the house.

The house was small and relatively cheap because of its age, but suited them.

There were two bedrooms that made it easy to give space to a child they both wanted, but also limit extended guests visits and give them space to just live in.

The living and dining rooms and kitchen were cozy and gave Edd just the right amount of space to make his house the home he always desperately wanted growing up.

There was a finished basement that ran the length and breadth of the house with a small fallout shelter perfect for Peach Creek's temperamental spring and summer weather.

They made the basement their family space with a play area for Loren to grow into, a small library corner for Edd, and designated the rest of the space as a man cave that they could host their friends and family in for any event that suited them.

Kevin would have killed to be in it now, watching a college football game with Rolf, reminiscing about their glory days on the field, a beer in one hand, Loren's bottle in the other while she slept on his chest.

But it was a bye week for his favorite team and Edd was more than ready to use the day to shut down for fall and winter.

The last of the fall leaves had blown off the trees two weeks ago; he needed to plant the grass seed now if he wanted the lawn to look nice for next spring and summer, and Edd would probably need his help pulling up the last of the weeds, vines, and vegetables in his garden.

But the gutters were the first thing to do because if he didn't do it now, they wouldn't have gutters because they would fall off the house with the weight of dirt, leaves, dust, rocks and whatnot in them and Edd wouldn't have that.

One of the things that drew them to the property was all of the trees.

They were big, pretty, provided plenty of shade, strong branches for climbing and holding tree forts for rowdy boys or castles fit for a princess.

But they also had a literal ton of leaves by Kevin's best estimate with all of the raking and sweeping he did every fall.

And then there were the helicopters that would fall on the roof and fill the gutters along with the usual dirt, dust, rocks, nuts, and whatever the hell else Mother Nature could put in them to drive Edd crazy.

So every year for the past ten years, he's been up on the roof with a broom to deal with the helicopters, and then a very nervous Edd would bring him the hose to clean the gutters and run back into the house so he didn't give himself a panic attack from watching Kevin do the chore.

Edd would do it himself, but no one would let him, so up Kevin went.

He started on the high side of the roof where the attic was, minding any discrepancies in the shingles because it was best to do repairs now, rather than later when a family of critters had made their home in their Christmas decorations.

Then he would jump down to the main part of the roof where the rest of the house resided beneath to do more of the same.

Except this time, a strong breeze threatened to pull the broom from his hand, and as he did his best to steady the tool in his hand, his foot slipped on a loose shingle and he fell awkwardly off the ledge from the attic's roof, to the house's, and from there it was a twelve foot tumble to the ground in the front yard.

In his attempt to stop his fall, he grabbed the gutter over the front of the house and ripped it away from the house, making a bit of the chore obsolete.

But he still fell.

HARD.

He couldn't breathe for a few seconds once he made contact with the planet again, but when he did, everything hurt.

His head was ringing, his left hand and arm were straining against the sudden pull he had put them through, and his right arm just hurt, as did his ass, and his right hip felt numb.

All he could do was holler as the ability to breathe came back to him but even that hurt.

So much so that he blacked out.

Edd's heard a lot of loud noises over the years.

But the sound coming from the front of his house was terrifying in ways that he had never felt before.

He set the wheelbarrow he was pushing down and stepped away from it to look up to the roof.

"Kevin?!" He called out worriedly, seeing that the roof was Kevinless.

When he heard nothing, he quickly jogged to the front of the house, and screamed his husband's name as he ran to his side on seeing him lying motionless under the shady oak tree where Kevin proposed ten years ago.

"No, no, no, no, no," he muttered softly as tears fell out of his eyes and he checked for a pulse in the redhead's neck, but his own racing heart made it hard to find one.

Taking a breath, he put his ear to the redhead's chest and begged him to breathe.

His pounding heart in his own ears made hearing most anything impossible at the moment, but when his hand was gently raised and lowered on Kevin's strong chest thanks to the mechanic's shallow breathing, he sobbed.

Grabbing the house phone from the clip on his pants, he quickly dialed 911 and begged Kevin to hold on, just as Loren started to fuss again.

"Peach Creek Emergency Dispatch. What's your emergency," a soothing voice called out to him and he nearly dropped the phone as Kevin painfully moaned.

"I need an ambulance to 4430 Acadia Lane," he said quickly, his voice cracking with tears. "My husband just fell off the roof and I think his arm is broken and his hip looks bad, too. Please hurry."

"I'm sending out a MAST ambulance to your location now," the woman on the other line said before launching into a litany of questions as to how Kevin got up and then off the roof, Edd's answers being sadly few as Loren started to wail.

In less than two minutes, but forever for Edd, the ambulance showed up, and Kevin was being rushed to the hospital as Edd dialed up their mothers and texted their friends, while doing his level headed best to pull his newborn daughter together so they could go find out what was wrong with Da.

Dr Marion Vincent met her son in law in the ER and gave quick instructions to the staff on duty as to how his care should go.

A few of the nurses were sure she was violating every HIPPA law in the book, but didn't argue with the woman who ran the place with a firm, but gentle hand.

It was a good thing, too, because when Liadan Barr rushed in not more than ten minutes after Kevin did, she was quite possibly the most demanding patient the ER staff had ever seen.

But every question was answered in detail and she was brought completely up to speed no more than seven minutes after she walked in. Which worked out great for Edd, who came in right after Liadan got all the information they could ever need and relayed it to him like she was telling him about how her last bridge game went and not the fact that her only child and the love of his life wasn't in an operating theater fighting for his life.

And he had never been so grateful for the woman's demanding personality in his life.

When they graduated high school, Kevin spent that first summer as an adult working at the construction site that would be the new strip mall where he and Edd would spend so many cheap dates when Edd was on break away from college in the city.

That job got him his hard hat that he kept just in case.

Edd was always sure that it would be that damn deathtrap that took him out, but Kevin's Harley took to the wind like one of the helicopters on the roof of their house.

Gently guided, softly landing wherever the wind wished…

Kevin, on the other hand, wasn't nearly as graceful in his near mid adult age as he was in their younger years. At least not when it came to anything not his Harley, Loren, or Edd.

So he would always wear the hat when he was working on anything on the house that had him up high or near anything heavy that could fall on his head.

And it saved his life.

The fall should have cracked his skull, killing him instantly. But thanks to that silly hard hat, he only got a severe concussion.

His right arm and hip cushioned his fall so to speak, but needed some cushioning themselves for the next few weeks.

Setting his arm was easy; the pin in his hip took a bit more work.

And the cracked ribs would just have to wait.

Something that Edd was having a hell of a time doing.

He knew that the surgery would take a while considering that they would have to make sure Kevin could handle it first, but as the sun started to set, he was starting to panic.

"Breathe, Dee," Nazz said gently as she held up Loren's bottle with one hand and flip the page of the old magazine in her lap with the other while Edd held his baby with trembling arms and bounced his knee nervously.

He looked over to the woman next to him, a near blank look on her face as she stared at the magazine, but her jaw was tense.

And he wondered.

He and Kevin didn't start to get close til he went away to school.

The strip mall was across the street from Edd's job at the second hand bookstore next to the library.

They would run into each other at lunch at the café in the library and started hanging out because Kevin felt like a third wheel on Ed's lunch breaks with May and Nazz was busy with her own job at the mall in the city.

Kevin was impressed and slightly jealous of Edd's plans for college and life as he just really didn't have any of his own.

His grades were mediocre at best, even if his sporting career in high school was stellar.

But colleges don't recruit mediocre, so he was stuck.

Edd pointed out how easy shop class had always come to him and how the construction job stimulated him in ways that shop class didn't, so he would come back to the library after work or stop by the bookstore and rake both their brains trying to figure out how to make money off of his fix it hands.

By the end of summer, he was in a mechanic's apprenticeship, figuring out how just about anything with an engine worked so he could fix them when they didn't.

That led to his Ma's car always being tuned up and a 1985 Harley Softail being rebuilt from dust to its former glory.

The next summer, he took Edd out for a ride to show off, and while Edd was thrilled with the ride, he preferred his car and their lunch dates at the café.

Lunches led to dinner, dinner led to movies, movies led to long talks and walks around Peach Creek's old downtown square where Edd would eventually come back to work at the City Hall as the youngest archivist the small town had ever seen.

But being a whiz kid with the social media accounts the mayor insisted they needed to keep the place up to date in our fast changing world helped many of the traditionalists in town accept the dork who loved his home enough to preserve everything he could about it.

They would debate politics, sports, the weather, their childhoods, and simple, quiet lives as the world spun around them and adult demands came to a head.

A friendship breakup with a study buddy hurt Edd to his core as the other young man thought he wanted more from him than he was willing to give and Edd wondered who would ever see him that way and why.

Marie's advances died down in high school with attention from other boys and a few girls, Eddy loved him like a brother should, Ed being their best ever example of that.

He was always too awkward and just socially clueless to fathom an actual relationship with anyone til Kevin pointed out that relationships are whatever we want them to be, but everyone needs to be on the same page.

Then he walked him home.

Color Edd floored.

For the next six months, every encounter after that was analyzed and compared and contrasted with what he saw at school, what he grew up with at home, and just what he felt in his heart to be true.

"Do you like me?"

Kevin had looked like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar when those words flew out of Edd's lips on another walk, after another movie, after another dinner.

"Don't you like me?" Bounced around in Kevin's head and he realize why he never did.

Because they weren't him.

Witty as fuck, smart as a whip, and adorable as all get out.

"Yeah, I do."

Edd was stunned, but he was more than willing to make whatever he wanted of their relationship if Kevin was, too.

And he was.

Two years later and Edd was back in Peach Creek, and soon Kevin's small, but cozy studio apartment grew too small for him and Edd being over all the time.

So they took being together in a roomier townhouse, but when their seller's market became a buyer's, Edd was ready to bring them into what so many felt was the full bastion of adulthood.

Homeowners.

Their relationship changed though as they took on more chores thanks to the house, each going with his strengths and his worries, too. Now Edd's scared to death that reaching their deductible on their health insurance will mean nothing because Kevin's going to be dead.

And Nazz looks chill, but he has a feeling she's done this before.

"How can you be so calm?"

"Remember when he broke his leg during that game against Lemon Brook junior year?" she said with a look of one who had seen it all.

"Yes, but what does that -?"

"If he wasn't wearing his helmet, that hit would have snapped his neck, too," she sighed.

"What?!" he cried and Loren jumped and gave a yelp that made her choke.

Nazz and Edd were ready to spring into action, but Eddy was there with hands quick to count his money, close deals, slap a hot chick's ass, and save his niece from her bamboozled daddy and reminiscing auntie.

"Easy there, girlie," he said quietly as he patted her back and she spit up a bit but was otherwise okay.

And still hungry.

Taking the bottle from Nazz, he shook his head at her, so she stuck her tongue at him and Edd sighed.

"Chill, Dee," Eddy said firmly as he sat across the room from them. "He's bounced back from worst."

"Don't tell me?" Edd snarked. "He fell off a support beam at the mall."

"I thought we weren't supposed to talk about that?!" Ed hissed at Eddy as he walked into the room.

Edd stared at his friends and Nazz was on her feet between them.

"Listen, Double Dee," she said softly, cringing a bit at his glare. "He can be kinda klutzy but he's always been fine."

"The fucking wind blew him off the damn roof," Edd said as he started to cry again.

"Beats trying to ice skate on it."

Their heads all snapped as Bronson Barr limped into the room, leaning a bit more heavily on his cane than Edd was comfortable with.

His ex-wife started to chortle with laughter as he swept his granddaughter out of Eddy's arms.

"I mean, he was just helping ya clean up, right?" He asked, curious and worried green eyes locked with sad ocean blues Kevin wouldn't shut up about.

"Well, yes, and it's his house, too, Bronson," Edd retorted a bit perturbed at the man's ignorant insinuation.

"Well, if ya don't want him on the roof of his house, then why the hell was he up there? Can't you do it?"

Nazz grabbed Loren before Edd could move and Liadan popped her ex upside the back of his head.

"It's called give and take, you idiot," she snipped at him and he rolled his eyes.

"I guess," he shrugged as he leaned back and stretched his bad leg. "I need to take him for a drink, though. Not every day your gay ass son does some crazy man shit and falls off the roof."

When Edd went to stand, Ed shot to the door and Eddy was by his side, shoving the angry genius out the door.

"Does he even want to see him, Dee?" Ed asked as they sat in the cafeteria, picking at the food Edd knew they needed but couldn't stomach.

"Probably not," Edd sighed, not wanting to deal with the strained father-son relations with Kevin's life in the balance at the moment.

"Then don't worry about it," Eddy shrugged. "Nazz and his mom will get rid of him if he keeps it up."

Edd cast a long look at his best friend, as he asked, "Is there a shovel in your trunk?"

"Maybe," Eddy answered with a smarmy grin and Ed snickered.

"I'm calling the police," he giggled behind his hands, happy that he and his friends were still on the same page.

When they got back to the waiting room, a nervous nurse was trying to relay what information she could to Liadan as Edd wasn't there when she walked in, but Bronson's questions were making it hard.

Nazz damn near squealed when they walked in and Liadan hustled Edd and the nurse out into the hall while Nazz handed Loren to Ed.

"Can you change her right quick? I'm gonna call mom."

The tall Ed shrugged as he took his niece to the bathroom and Nazz drug Eddy down the hall in the opposite direction, knowing that Ed would be too busy with the baby, and Edd too busy with the nurse and his mother in law to see what they were up to.

"Um, I gotta cancel tomorrow," she sighed once they got to quiet corner and he nodded.

"Me, too."

She let out a light laugh as he drew her into a hug for a moment, both sad that their date had to be cancelled, but too worried about their friends to care.

"What're you gonna do?" She asked as she laid her head on his shoulder, finding comfort in his friendship and the fact he smelled really good.

"I think I know a guy who can replace their gutters so they don't even have to think about it, and then we can call Rolf to see about getting the yard cut."

"Sounds good," she said as she stood up straight, knowing they had been gone too long but he was too busy holding her hand to care. "I know their moms are gonna cook, and I think Sarah can help with watching Loren, and he's gonna need rehab for his leg and mhmmm."

A kiss silenced her rambling mouth and mind for a moment but she gave him a quick glare at the action.

"One step at a time, Nazzerino," he grinned and she rolled her eyes. "How about you take Loren back to their place tonight, I'll get his emergency bag out of his car, and we go back and order pizza or something?"

Date saved!

"Fine," she sighed before walking back down the hall. "But I want wings!"

And Eddy finally found something hotter than his brother's hot sauce. He only hoped Edd had milk at the house to deal with the flames.

With Eddy and Nazz taking charge, Loren went home and slept in her own bed, and Edd slept on the couch in Kevin's recovery room.

The anesthesia wore off fairly quickly but the pain was so great that he was kept in a medically induced coma for a week before slowly being brought back into reality.

And the first sound he heard was a baby giggle.

"Who's daddy's baby girl?" Edd cooed and Loren squealed.

"Edd?" He whispered and Loren squealed even louder as Edd rushed to his husband's side, holding their daughter like a loose sack of potatoes.

"Oh, my God," Edd breathed. "You're back."

"Everything hurts, Baby," he moaned and Edd nearly broke the call button trying to get a nurse in the room.

Edd had his mother paged as soon as Kevin was comfortable again and when she came down, she brought his father with her.

His parents' relationship was odd to say the least, but the open marriage worked for them.

But right now he couldn't bring himself to care about what sort of stepmom or dad he had tucked away somewhere, when Kevin was hurting and needed all the help he could get to feel better.

Dr Ian Vincent was an orthopedic surgeon, and while he recused himself from Kevin's case as he didn't need his wife, Edd, or Liadan on his case if shit went south, he personally called a friend in to help, and made arrangements for follow up care.

"You'll be fine by Christmas," he said as he bounced Loren on his shoulder and Marion made faces at her to make her giggle, the expressive milestone making her Grammy's heart tick loudly. "Just follow your doctor's orders and stay up on your PT, and off the roof, of course."

Edd groaned and Kevin snickered while Marion rolled her eyes because she knew what was coming next.

"But welcome to the fatherhood. It's like no one gets that badge of honor in this family til they fall off the roof, right Dear?"

Edd looked curiously at his parents and then remembered that his father had a strong aversion to rooftops, no thanks to a slip and fall when Edd was about two years old. He broke his leg, but Marion was as keen on clean gutters as Edd was, so he'd go up until he could teach Edd how to at least help him with it.

Once Edd was old enough to handle the chore himself, his father was off the hook, and then off to hook up with someone new, leaving Edd alone to do the work as his mother and her various colleagues would have meetings in the dining room and a few do not disturb us unless you're dying or the house is on fire meetings in her office in the basement.

That was the main reason why no one wanted Edd on the roof, and now Kevin had the scars to show why Edd hated him up there, too.

"Can I give it back?" Kevin moaned while his in laws had a laugh.

"Too late," Ian snickered. "And the baby is already here," he said as he slid the girl into the crook of his right arm made by sling it was in. "She's beautiful," he sighed as he smoothed down a wild sandy blond curl near her ear. "Just try to be more careful so you don't miss anything."

Edd knew the words were an apology to him, but what was done, was done and they could only move forward by doing better by the baby kicking in Kevin's arms.

Eddy found a guy to replace their gutters with the kind that basically cleaned themselves; Rolf winterized Edd's garden, planted the grass seeds and cut their yards til the first frost made the chore done til spring.

Jimmy's cousins hung their Christmas lights.

Early Christmas morning, in front of the fire in their fireplace in the basement, Kevin gave Edd a gift that let him know that all that time spent in the hospital, the doctor's office, and the physical rehabilitation center was worth the time apart, the medical expenses, and the slow, painful sense of starting over again.

Then he carried him to bed.

Bronson got him a cane, though.

And Marion got him a new Cool Dad patch for his motorcycle vest.

But Loren never, ever saw her Da fall off the roof.