AN: So it seems that after a year's hiatus I'm back in the frame of mind tor write this story. I re-uploaded the previous chapters sans some typos. Hopefully I get a few more chapters out before I stagnate again. I don't own Fairy Tail.

Lucy's world had turned grey. People came and went, she didn't pay much attention to who. Most asked her questions, cried, glared or chatted happy nothings at her. All judged, she could tell. They thought she was weak and pathetic, she couldn't blame them – it was true. She was so tired all the time, so she mostly slept through these visits. Well, they were more like guards, making sure she didn't try anything again. They had it all wrong, she was too numb to even get out of bed, let alone make her way to the window or the medicine cabinet or whatever.

Part of the reason she was so tired was that she didn't really eat. The thought of food just didn't appeal to her and the thought of putting food in her mouth and swallowing it made her feel physically sick. Tears came whenever Mirajane delivered a tray of carefully prepared meals to tempt her into taking a bite. To be fair, she pretty much cried about everything these days. But they were silent tears and she let them flow, there was nothing she could do to stop them.

Every passing day the world became greyer as she contemplated her own worthlessness, how she was wasting everyone's time. Especially Natsu's. He was there all day, every day. Quietly watching her, never speaking unless spoken to. Before, she would have thought it was amazing and probably hilarious that he could keep so quiet and still for so long. Not now. She didn't care, she didn't care about anything anymore.

Oddly, a moment of respite came when Gajeel visited. It was probably because she felt that Gajeel really didn't care. It was hard to disappoint someone who didn't care about you. This logic comforted Lucy.

"Bunny Girl."

"Gajeel." She watched him perch next to her, arms folded. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"The Shrimp is ill, promised I'd come keep watch." He grumbled, "you gonna eat that?" he asked, gesturing to the tray Mira had left about half an hour ago.

"Be my guest." She smirked as he promptly snatched a sandwich and began to scoff it down. "Geez metalhead, Levi's got you hooked round her little finger."

Gajeel almost spat out what he was eating. Lucy couldn't help but chuckle slightly at the thought of the big, tough Gajeel under the thumb of one of the smallest mages in the guild. "Shut the hell up Bunny Girl!" he growled. But Lucy could tell there was no real venom behind it. He continued to grumble under his breath. Then, he glared at her, "could you do me a favour?"

"Depends. What is it?" she was intrigue. As the colour began to rise in his cheeks she almost squealed before he shoved a half-eaten sandwich in her face.

"Eat this so I can tell the Shrimp you did." He said gruffly.

"Are you serious?" he wouldn't meet her eyes, but his cheeks got even redder.

"Look just do it ok? I'll owe you one." She looked at the sandwich, a standard BLT now half the size thanks to Gajeel's greediness.

"You'll owe me one huh?"

"Yes! You want it in blood?! Just eat the damn thing!"

Lucy really didn't want the sandwich, already the smell of the bacon was making her stomach turn. But Gajeel was asking for his own selfish reasons which she didn't mind. She needed to eat something anyway and this way she gained a favour. "OK, I'll try." She said quietly, taking it from his hand. She subconsciously squashed it, trying to make it as small as possible before breaking off tiny pieces to eat as they talked. "So, how's life?"

"Boring, the whole guild's been like a funeral since you tried to top yourself." She heard a sharp intake of breath from Natsu's corner. "This is the most fun I've had all week."

Lucy seriously doubted that. "Oh yeah?"

"Sure, why not."

Lucy chewed her little piece of sandwich thoughtfully. She swallowed, "so you're not going to ask me?"

"Nah, I figured when you're ready, you'll talk. You're too smart to have made a stupid decision like that without a reason."

"That seems a bit oxymoronic to me." Gajeel gave her a look. "How can you be smart and make a stupid decision." She clarified.

"Desperate people do desperate things." He replied shortly. They sat in silence for a while as she finished the sandwich, then Lucy lay back and fell asleep. Gajeel sat a while before getting up and walking to the door, casting a sideways glance at his fellow dragon slayer who appeared deep in thought. "Don't push her flame brain, she'll come around in her own time."

xXxXx

Natsu was livid. Nothing for weeks, just tears and silence. Then the iron dragon slayer had just waltzed in, struck up a conversation and gotten her to eat! Somehow, he felt betrayed, like Lucy had chosen Gajeel over him. He replayed the conversation over again in his mind. Why? Why could Lucy talk to Gajeel and not him? They were best friends! Unless… unless he was the problem. He tried to think back to when he had begun to notice something was wrong, but he couldn't, all he could remember was being with Lisanna. She had returned from the dead and suddenly she was all that mattered. He cursed himself. Of course, Lucy would let herself fade into the background. She knew how much Lisanna's 'death' had hurt him. And of course, she would put his feelings before hers if she was unhappy. That was just the way Lucy was – the biggest heart in the guild but also the most fragile.

He sighed, the fact remained that she wasn't getting any better and he had never felt more helpless. He looked around the room; white walls, white bed, clinical and efficient – just like a med bay should be. A rare moment of clarity struck him. Lucy didn't need this! She was sick in the head, not in the body! She needed familiarity and comfort, her own little safe space. He had to get her home. But nobody had been there in weeks, it would be cold and empty. He was useless at all that stuff. He stood up, he'd ask Mirajane for help, yeah, she'd know what to do.

He heard Lucy moan in her sleep and made his way over to her. She looked so pale and fragile. Her skin was dull, her golden hair limp and lifeless. Even in her sleep she looked haggard, as if her waking worries followed her in to her dreams. Natsu took her hand gently and was surprised to see some of the worry leave her face. "Natsu…" it was barely a whisper, but he heard it. Natsu didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She wanted him, she needed him, she just couldn't talk to him yet. Yet. He would change that, he would make Lucy so happy she would never have a sad thought ever again. He felt all fired up!

"Natsu?" Gray's voice came from the doorway. Natsu reluctantly let go of Lucy's hand and turned to face him.

"Look after Lucy for me popsicle, I have something to do." He strode purposefully out of the room.

Gray was too surprised to respond to the insult, Natsu had been grinning. He looked at the celestial mage in the bed and felt guilt stir within him as he was relieved she was asleep. The first couple of shifts he had tried to talk to her, reason with her about what had happened. But she only looked at him with dead eyes or stared out of the window. He still didn't understand why she had done it. Despite the Master's warning, he had asked Natsu about that day – and quickly regretted it. For the first time ever, he saw tears in Natsu's eyes as the dragon slayer had turned on his heel and walked away without a word. Whatever Natsu had planned, he hoped it worked. Lucy may not realise it right now, but she wasn't the only one suffering.

Well there you go, Chapter 5. I hope you enjoyed it.