When The Lord Closes A Door

Chapter 10

They stumbled backwards; Maria's back slammed up against the closed front door, but she barely felt it. She was too captivated by Georg's passionate kisses.

These were not the soft, tender and sensual kisses that they'd previously shared, or the chaste schoolyard kisses of her youth, but hungry, desperate, all consuming kisses. The intensity and ferociousness of their embrace was nothing like she'd ever experienced before. It was like all the pent-up sexual tension and emotion that they'd been holding back from each other since practically the moment they'd met had been suddenly released like a torrent.

And it scared her.

But it was not because of the way his lips moved frantically over her skin, his teeth nipping at her bottom lip as they kissed, or the way his free hand roughly caressed her breast, or even the way he had somehow hoisted her leg up around his waist and was grinding his hips into her. But it was because of the way she was loving everything he was doing to her and the way that she desperately longed for more that absolutely terrified her. She was also quite shocked to find how quickly and instinctively was her body reacted to his. Why, only months before, she had been planning on becoming a nun! And now, here she was, clutching Georg furiously, moaning his name and kissing him like her life depended on it. She had never known, or even imagined, that love could feel like that and she kissed him back with the same fierceness as he was kissing her; one hand even boldly gripped his backside tightly as she pulled him closer to her.

Part of her wanted to everything slow down so she could take a moment to think, but she couldn't as all Maria could hear in her head was the thundering rush of blood as Georg continued to kiss and touch her in their sizzling embrace. Then, she felt an unfamiliar sense of heat pooling between her legs as Georg suddenly swept her off her feet and carried her down the passageway to the bedroom.

Not even breaking their kiss, Georg placed her down on the bed and immediately climbed on top of her, the weight of him pressing down onto her into the mattress. He kissed her again deeply and Maria threaded her fingers through his hair and kneaded his head roughly as they kissed, urging him onwards. Moments later after more hungry and breathless kisses, Georg rolled onto his back, taking Maria with him so that she was now on top, all the while still kissing and caressing her breasts through the material of her dress. But as they rolled back over so Georg was now on top, she felt Georg fumbling with the buttons at the back of her dress.

While Maria was inexperienced when it came to love, she was not so naïve as not to know exactly where their passionate embrace was heading. Instinctively closing her eyes, she let out a deep breath and arched her back slightly to assist Georg with his task of starting to undress her.

But as she felt the front of her dress being pulled away from her body and hot, wet kisses being placed on her now exposed skin, Maria's whole body started to tremble. She opened her eyes and swallowed hard. It was the first moment since they'd begun kissing that she could actually stop and think properly. Maria knew how much she loved Georg and how much she wanted him and wanted this: to make love to him. Yet, she couldn't deny the niggling voice in the back of her head that told her that what they were doing together was wrong.

She fixed her eyes on the decorative plaster rose on the ceiling and tried to block out all the uncertainties and doubts she was having, and just focus on what Georg was doing to her. Closing her eyes again, she tried to relax and enjoy his kisses, touches and caresses, but she could not. That little voice in the back of her head was getting louder and she knew she had to stop things before they went too far.

"Georg," she whispered softly but urgently.

Georg heard her say his name, which was not unusual as she'd been moaning his name over and over since they'd begun kissing, yet there was something about the way she had said it this time that caused him to stop at once. He looked down into her eyes, expecting to see them rolled back and half-lidded in lust and desire, but instead, all he saw in her eyes was hesitation and worry.

She didn't have to say anything more. He knew instantly. "We need to stop, don't we?" he asked. Maria shut her eyes and nodded faintly.

Georg didn't react immediately and just stared back at her, as if he was just seeing her properly for the first time. Then he let out a deep breath and rolled off Maria. She sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. She quickly tugged up the front of her dress and pulled down the end of her skirt, which had somehow been hoisted up around her waist. Maria stared guiltily down at her hands folded in her lap, not quite sure what they were going to do next. She didn't even look up as Georg came and sat quietly next to her on the edge of the bed.

Georg's heart broke seeing Maria like that; her hands clenched tightly together and her head bowed down, like she was in silent prayer. He didn't know what was going through her mind; whether she was ashamed, embarrassed, regretful or something else but he blamed himself entirely. In retrospect, he realised what a predicament he'd put both of them in by asking Maria to meet him in the privacy of his apartment.

However, when he had asked Maria to meet him there, he absolutely had not intended for things between them to have gotten so out of hand. Although he loved Maria deeply, he had wanted her there just as a trusted friend and confident, not a lover. Although he had once requested it in desperation, he respected Maria too much to take her as his mistress. Yet, he couldn't deny how his dreams were still plagued with erotic thoughts of Maria and so kissing her and taking her to his bed was like a dream come true and those innermost desires had caused him to lose control so easily.

But Maria was right: they had to stop. There were too many consequences if they'd continued and had actually made love. Not to mention Elsa and the tremendous guilt felt by being unfaithful to her, especially now that she was sick and dying.

Maria didn't say anything, and neither did Georg – he wanted to wait for her to speak first. But after a long minute, Georg hesitantly reached out one hand to Maria and she grasped it tightly in hers, although she still didn't look at him. Finally, after another long minute, she spoke, her voice quivering.

"I don't want you to think that I don't want you, or that I don't want to be with you, because Lord knows," she lifted her eyes heavenwards, "I do. So desperately that it scares me. But," Maria finally turned her face to look at Georg, "we can't. You're married and…" her voice wavered and she felt the threat of tears starting to form in her eyes. She didn't need to say anymore because Georg already knew in his heart all the reasons why they needed to stop.

"I know and I'm so sorry," said Georg genuinely seeing her so distressed and feeling guilty himself. "I lost control and I let things go too far. It's all my fault…"

"Georg, please don't blame yourself completely," Maria blinked away the tears and forced a laugh. "I was there too, remember? I lost control just as easily. You were, uh, quite wonderful, you know," she added softly, a faint blush rising to her cheeks.

The memory of their passionate tryst still fresh in his mind, Georg couldn't help but smirk. "You weren't so bad yourself."

At once Maria burst out laughing. It felt good to have broken the tension. Georg wrapped one arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a side hug. He kissed her temple.

They sat there together side-by-side on the edge of the bed holding hands for several minutes in silence. Maria rested her head upon Georg's shoulder. "Oh Georg," she sighed regretfully, "I love you but it was so wrong what we just did. I wish you'd had just let me go when I had the chance. I never wanted to be in the position where I would cause you to cheat on your wife."

"I know, and I'm sorry I did that," he replied. So many thoughts were swirling around Georg's mind. First Elsa, then Maria and finally his own actions and all the mistakes he'd made that day. He felt so guilty and ashamed.

Georg squeezed his eyes shut and he rubbed his forehead in frustration. "There are so many things I wish I'd done differently today. Elsa – oh my god, what I've done to her by running out on her when she really needed me. No matter what I was feeling or thinking about Agathe and her death, I should never have done that. And you – bringing you into this mess then kissing you like I did…" Georg let out a pitiful groan. "What kind of man or husband am I? To run from his dying wife and into the arms of another woman? How can I face Elsa again or even know what to say to her to apologise?"

"I don't know what you should say to her, but I do know this: you need to go home to the Baroness. She's sick and she needs you. Be with her, support her, do whatever it takes to make her time easier." Maria paused. "I know you've gone through this before and I can't imagine how difficult it will be for you to go through this again, but I'm sure you will have people around you to get you through it."

Georg could feel himself starting to get all choked up again as the raw pain of re-living the memories of Agathe's death threatened to overcome him again. "I don't know if I can do this without you," he croaked.

"You won't have to," said Maria, squeezing Georg's hand. "I'm here for you anytime you need me. But just as a friend and nothing more. We can talk, share, laugh, eat strudel – anything you want, except this," she motioned between them with her hand. "I told you before that I can't allow you to commit adultery, and while we both just had a momentary lapse in control, and perhaps God will forgive us for that," she gave him a sad smile, "it can't happen again. Ever."

"I know," agreed Georg. He exhaled deeply then stood up. Maria got to her feet too and quickly did up the last couple of buttons on her dress then smoothed down her skirt. She ran her hand quickly through her mussed up hair then checked her appearance in the mirror before turning to Georg.

He said nothing but opened his arms to her. Maria went into his embrace gratefully and they stood together holding each other for the longest time before finally Maria broke away. She paused at the threshold of the bedroom door to look back longingly at Georg and then she was gone.

A/N: Thank you everyone for your reviews. I know some people have found the last few chapters hard to read (I'm sorry!), but it will get a bit easier from here (at least I think so)! There is still lots more to come and I hope you'll stick with me as this story continues. Please review!