Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter series or Rick and Morty.

Please note that this Rick is not the one from universe C-137, this one is from universe C-147.

But other characters from the show might appear.

Chapter 1

Rick Sanchez looked at the baby in the basket and mused, 'Why am I doing this? Oh yeah,' he thought, to prove that he could and besides he could make sure this little one ended up better than Beth, no fucking Jerry's in his life and hey, he could take care of a child. He didn't have a Morty yet but he could take care of this kid, like a pet, all those other Ricks had pets and he wanted one for himself, maybe he'd love the child.

He picked the boy up and said, "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub kid, we're going to have fun," as he activated the portal gun and teleported to The Citadel and he walked over to another Rick who was sitting behind a desk and said, "Hi, Rick Sanchez of universe C-147."

"Hi, what is that?" the other Rick asked.

"A child from my universe, he was left in front of a, burrrrp, house and the people there were fucking idiots so I said to myself, 'I don't have a Morty or a child and my Beth married an even dumber than usual version of Jerry,' so."

"Say no more," the Rick said, "Just sign these forms. Hmmm, let's see, there's an note in the basket."

The Rick picked it up and said, "Blah blah blah, bullshit, even more bullshit and this is nothing but pixie wangs and fairy piss. Okay, yeah, it looks like you can take care of him, Harry Potter."

As Rick 147 let out a belch he said, "Fuck, that's a stupid name. We'll keep Harry but I'll let him use my last name."

The boy looked at him with bright green eyes and Rick said, "Ahh, aren't you a cute, ummm, little baby."

"You do realize," the other Rick said, "That he'll need to actually be fed, right?"

"Of course! What do you, umm, think I am," Rick said, "Rick Sanchez of Universe C-999!?"

They both shuddered, they knew who Rick Sanchez of universe C-999 was, only universe C-666 was worse than C-999.

"Yeah but stop by the Citadel shop, there are automatic machines that will feed him and change his diapers."

Harry giggled as Rick walked, carrying his basket and said, "Who's gonna be daddy's little helper? You are."

A few minutes later at Bird-world of universe C-147.

Birdperson looked up at the time and said, "Who would come this late during the sleep cycle?" As if he needed to know, he shook his head and opened the door and saw Rick holding a basket with a baby in it.

Belching loudly Rick said, "Hey, umm, Birdperson, I kinda need a place to, to, umm, what do you call it? Oh yeah, crash."

"I thought," Birdperson said, "You were going to stay with your daughter and her husband?"

"Don't get me started," Rick groaned, "They're both stupid as shit, Jerry Smith is an idiot with a, umm, capital I."

"He, he, he made Beth go to vet school and she's gonna be an animal doctor. Jeez, I think they have a word for that and it's called failure."

"Who is the hatchling you have?" Birdperson asked confused, "Is he your hatchling?"

"Nah, found him on the streets Birdperson," Rick said belching as he collapsed.

Birdperson looked down and saw a note on the basket, he picked it up and began to read.

Birdperson said, "Oh dear."

Rick woke up when the sun was shining and he said, "Birdperson?"

"I am feeding your child," Birdperson said, "Did you read the note that came with the child?"

"It's bullshit," Rick said, looking around for something to drink.

"It seems to be important," Birdperson said, "It might not be safe over there for him until he is old enough."

Rick looked at him and blinked and, "What?

Birdperson looked at Rick and said, "This child's family was killed by an evil wizard using evil magic."

"Magic!?" Rick spat, "Let me tell you what magic is: its science that idiots don't understand yet. You know I could go back in time, shoot a caveman in the fucking head and be fucking god to those backward savages! Forget being a wizard, I'll be a fucking god to them and they'll build statues to me."

Birdperson frowned but nodded and said, "It would be best if you stay here until he is ready to go to the school of pig disease."

"School!?" Rick spat out, "What school? Let me see this."

"Oh, this is," Rick said, "This is worse than fairy piss, this is garbage! Good thing I wasn't going to let him go to regular school, I was going to teach him myself."

"I fear," Birdperson said, "That will only make him into another person like yourself."

Rick shrugged and said, "Whatever, so I guess we can crash here and I can take him on adventures. You hear that little Harry? You and daddy are going on crazy and crazier adventures, doesn't that sound fun?"

Harry's eyes widened and Birdperson frowned, it was like the Hatchling understood but he would hopefully provide a useful counterbalance to Rick's more eccentric behaviours.

He looked around and sighed, what do baby humans eat?

TBC

How will Harry be like when he is raised by Rick and Birdperson?

Rick vs the Wizarding world, who would win?

Please note that Rick and Birdperson will NOT be a couple. Just in case you were wondering.

Please rate and review.