Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

...

"Scratch, what is that beeping? Did you set something on fire again?" Robotnik half-asked half-demanded out of his robotic assistant as he was reviewing his research notes. Currently he was attempting to emulate the Metroid's energy draining to some degree of success. The only problem was that it usually blew up from energy overload, and would often take too long to actually turn on and function to be a proper weapon.

"Um no Sir, this time it's a message," Scratch informed the Doctor.

"A message? All the way out here?" Robotnik looked up, "Are there any large ships nearby?" he quickly asked, thinking that the Federation might've found out his little crime of assualt on that droid a few months prior.

"No Doctor, only this message," Scratch confirmed, checking the scanners for any unusual hunks of metal flying around. The results were negative.

"Hm, then put it on," Robotnik motioned for Scratch to play the message.

"KRRZZT!-... GReeTingS DocTOR 'Robotnik'!... WE aRe ThE spACE PirAtEs, aND WE haVe REcentLY disCOVerED YOUR PREsENCe oN ZEBES..." The Message intoned, distorted and static from the atmosphere... Or perhaps because of the Electro-Magnetic Pulses Robotnik's Metal Metroid was emitting, "WE woULd lIke TO OFFeR a plAce to YOU aS oNE Of oUr ScIENtists... YOU neeD mERely tO trAVerse to TOuRiAn, and WE wiLL ELAborATe frOm TherE," The Message cut off.

"Oh, that sounds interesting Doctor Robotnik! You think we should go?" Scratch immediately asked, curious as to who the 'Space Pirates' are.

Robotnik was interested too. Weren't these Space Pirates the biggest threat to the Federation? Why would they be interested in a (currently) no-name fat man with a bipedal rooster and a dumb tank?

"Hm..." Robotnik hunched over and twiddled his thumbs, mulling over it. By all means, this could be a set-up, yet it offered so much resources and potential! "I think I will take a chance," he claimed as he walked up to his wardrobe and pulled out a fancy, yet simple, yellow cape and attached it to his collar. He then took his Robot-Transmogrifier Ray and hid it inside one of the hidden compartments in his cape. "Come along! We're going to meet these 'Pirates'."

He gave it a few swirls, and after ensuring his blaster did not bulge or would fall out and learning where Tourian was, he marched out of the Crimson Egg to meet his messenger.

*In Tourian*

A Zebesian grunt walked up to Ridley and whispered a message to his ear. Ridley nodded and sent away the grunt.

"Robotnik is here. He accepted our proposal," Ridley wheezed to his two allies.

"Hmph. I doubt he will amount to much." Kraid scoffed as he skimmed through his copy of Eisley News. "Funnily enough, it seems that Samus got her arse kicked by some fat guy on some back-water planet."

The three chuckled at that. It was funny seeing Samus get what was coming to her, especially by some fat nobody.

...

Soon the doors to the Conference Room opened, revealing that same fat man with the two mechanical robots that broke in earlier. Kraid's jaw comically dropped as he compared the image of the fat man and the one standing right there. About the only difference was his stylish cape.

Mother Brain finished faster and concluded that this over-weight man must be Doctor Robotnik. She was underwhelmed to say the least... But the fact remained that he did beat Samus up, and had done what all three of them failed to do. She knew better than to underestimate him.

"GReeTingS Dr. Robotnik! I sEe yOu HAvE ACCepTeD ouR PrOPosAl," Mother Brain greeted, her eye not wavering from the red scientist... Just now she also noticed that this man had no eyes at all. Freaky.

"Of course I am, Captain Obvious," Robotnik sarcastically remarked, "I am here to see what you have to offer."

"We do have many things to offer in exchange for your services," Ridley spoke, "But first, let us introduce ourselves. I am Ridley."

"Kraid."

"Mother Brain."

"We make up the Space Pirates' Leadership... And tell us again, who might you be?" Ridley courteously introduced himself and the others, seeing if the Doctor would respond to that.

"I am Doctor I-vo Rrrobotnik!" Robotnik proudly said, stretching his name out for emphasis, "I am the Leader of my Empire of Badniks."

"BaD-NIKs?"Mother Brain intoned curiously, wondering what a 'Badnik' was.

"A Badnik is a genius device I created that basically uses animals as organic batteries," Robotnik elucidated.

"OrGANic BaTTerIes? QuITe brIllIant, I woUlD LikE to sEE tHIs Bad-Nik soOn..." Mother Brain mused, interested in the concept of 'Organic Batteries'... Even if it did imply horrible technology that might horrify even the most corrupt of Federation officials if it was what she thought it was.

"Of course it's brilliant! It was made by me!" Robotnik thanked, laughing haughtily.

Kraid leaned over to Ridley, "Ya think we can station him on Crateria so he dies first when Samus inevitably shows up?" he muttered.

"I doubt Mother Brain would allow that. Look at her," Ridley gestured over to Mother Brain, who was now talking and debating about some scientific theories that only she would even be able to grasp with Robotnik, who was also talking on the same level of intelligence as her. "She's happier than she's ever been now that there's someone who can pose a threat to her 'unrivaled' intelligence. There's no way she would just let Samus kill him off that easily. And then there's the fact that he beat Samus... So in other words, he's here to stay."

"Damn it..." Kraid mumbled, frustrated that there was yet another person who he didn't understand half the time here...

"IN ShoRt, yOUr RobOTiCIZEr CaN TuRN ORgAnIC BeInGs tO RoBOT SlaVES?" Mother Brain concluded from the small conversation she had with Robotnik.

"Indeed! With it, I could easily take over the whole universe!" Robotnik boasted.

"ThEN WhY dO YoU uSe tHE Bad-Niks wHeN yOu hAVe RoBOticiZaTion?" Mother Brain questioned, "IT iS MOST IllOGiCal."

"Now, where would the fun be if I didn't use my organic batteries?" Robotnik's eyes flared menacingly, "And futhermore, if I were to only use the Roboticizer, then I would only have mindless robot slaves, and no sentient beings of flesh and feelings to torture under my regime!"

Mother Brain sweatdropped at that statement. Though this man may appear to be harmless and relatively funny, he was far from it if his technology and method of dealing with his enemies said anything. "YoU cERtaInlY aPpeAr to BE cApaBLe EnOugh..." Mother Brain performed a quick scan of what needed the most attention right now. "So FOr nOw, yOu WiLL bE sTatiOned iN NORFAIR to lEarN the PROPERTIES of Phazon. (Chozo knows you're mentally insane enough to kill as many people as needed to learn whatever you want anyways)," Mother Brain commanded, giving a quick glare at Ridley to silence any protests.

"..." Ridley gave a silent glare at Mother Brain for shoving Robotnik onto his workload, then motioned for Robotnik to follow him.

When Robotnik and his Badniks left, Mother Brain gave an audible sigh.

"What is it?" Kraid inquired.

"He wAs FAR SmArTER ThAn I inTiAlLy SuSpecTed..." Mother Brain answered, "IF WE HaDn'T AlReAdY GaInED a RElIaBle PoWer SoUrcE, HE woUlD hAvE hAd aN eVeN bIggEr AdVaNtage OvEr us."

"Truly?" Kraid questioned, doubting her claim.

"AccORdInG TO hIs sCemaTics aNd VaRioUs dEsIgns, hE PossEsSes eNouGH INtellEct tO RIVal ThE CHOZO... BuT hE aPPeaRs To bE WillING to WoRk WiTh uS, aND sEEms inTerEstED EnoUgH tO WaNt tO WoRK wItH us..." Mother Brain stated.

"I see," Kraid nodded in understanding, "But what of the X-Parasite?"

"Robotnik mEnTioNed ThaT IT wAs UNFoRuNAtEly DeVOUred bY tHE MetRoid wHeN hE AccIdeNtly exPOSed tHe tWo ToGethEr," Mother Brain rolled her eye, "DiDn'T yOu hEaR hIm?"

"I couldn't understand you two with all of that 'DNA' and 'Cybernectic' stuff being thrown around like they were common knowledge. You two need to take the science to a minimum if you want us to actually understand," Kraid admitted.

Mother Brain tried to no avail to slam her head against her zebite casing, "YoU aND Ridley aRe BOTH SiMplE BeAstS aNd MorONs aT tHe WoRsT of TiMes..."

...

...

*In the Depths of Norfair*

Robotnik wiped the sweat off his head as he glazed over the reports of this 'Phazon'. Dear Solaris it was hot in here! How do these Zebesians live with this heat?

"That is the last of the reports Dr. Robotnik!" Grounder saluted jokingly as he brought the last of the data pads to the Doctor.

"Good, good..." Robotnik muttered as he recognized this Phazon to be the same as the one that infected Mobius. He wondered briefly how Sonic was doing, and if he mutated or just died from the Phazon. This material certainly seems to be able enough to destroy whatever excuse that blue rodent pulls out to 'save' the day.

And what of Grimer? His old friend? Whatever happened to him after he quit? Did he turn over a new leaf? Was he prospering over in some city, enjoying the good life without trying to conquer Mobius?

He then idly wondered what would happen to the Chaos Emeralds if they were exposed to Phazon. Would the Phazon enhance their power? Would the Emeralds become omnipotent? Would they react violently and blow up, destroying Mobius and the nearby planets surrounding it?

Well, he would give the trip back to Mobius at least a few more years at best. He didn't come all the way out here just to get back so soon! And he definitely won't tell these Space Pirates about the Chaos Emeralds! Those were too valuable to tell anyone about.

Finishing that thought, Robotnik continued reading up on the substance, and found that they usually spread to other planets from large, somewhat sentient meteors called 'Leviathans' according to what the Space Pirates gathered from Tallon IV. Where these 'Leviathans' came from was unknown to the Space Pirates as now...

"If only we could somehow track the Phazon trails it must've surely left behind when it intially crashed..." Robotnik mused, looking at the various records for the mutations the Pirates did to some volunteers.

Needless to say, the 'Elite' Pirates were quite rare, and often completely crazy, but they did have extrodinary abilities.

Robotnik pulled up some dossiers on the test subjects and all of the success rates to compare them. At first glance, it might've seemed like they were completely random... But the successes, well, sane successes all appeared to have similar DNA and Blood Types, and most had the same amount of Phazon injected into them, while the deaths were just blind jabs into the dark and the mad 'Elites' possessed too much Phazon.

"This seems to be a logical deduction," Robotnik reasoned as he looked and compared other successes, all of which had different Blood Types with a lesser or (Slightly) increased amount of Phazon. Shrugging, Robotnik filed a quick report and hypothesis and sent it to Mother Brain.

To Whoever is in charge of the Phazon Mutations,

According to some Dossiers and the Mutation Experiment Files, I can conclude that unless eggs-actly 4.5 liters is applied to Pirates with Blood Type AB, they risk the chance of going mad, with each .1 addition increasing said likely-hood. Instead of going on a rant about it, I will just say Blood Type A requires 6.2 and B needs 3.4 liters respectively. I'm going to just assume Blood Type O is just screwed over when it comes to Phazon.

Sincerely,

Doctor Ivo Robotnik

... Loading...

... Sending...

... Successful Delivery!

There, he did his work for the day. Now Mother Brain can go deal with that.

"Now then, on to something more interesting..." Robotnik mulled as he pulled up a blueprint for the Death Egg...

...

*In Tourian*

*BEEP BEEP!* Mother Brain gave a mental sigh as it heard its message system alarm go off.

"I'Ll FiNiSH tHiS LaTEr..." she decided as she turned off her copy of Puyo Puyo. She looked over the message, sent by the new recruit Robotnik, and glazed over it. It had a reasonable theory and evidence for how they could make more sane Elite Pirates, and it helped that he sent the dossiers and experiment files as well to prove it.

"LoGicAL EnoUGh," she could see how this might affect the test subjects' mental state from the few Parasite Queens that died from Phazon being incompatible with their DNA on the Orpheon. However, instead of bothering to order the Space Scientists in charge of actually performing the tests, she just shoved the report off to Ridley.

...

*In Ridley's Lair; Norfair*

*BEEP BEEP!* Ridley perked up as he heard his alarm go off. Now who was sending him reports now? The Scientists gave him a report a few days ago, they couldn't have found something else so soon!

"What is thisss?" He hissed as he opened the file.

~Mother Brain - You can go deal with this. I'm busy stimulating my mind with Puyo Puyo.~

*-Things Ridley cannot understand except for an egg pun and mutating something with Phazon-*

Sincerely,

Doctor Ivo Robotnik

"Er... What am I looking at? What am I looking at!" Ridley screeched as he clawed his head in frustration as he attempted to understand the text. "I don't understand this! How am I supposed to use this you blasted Egg-Head!?"

A few nearby Zebesians tried not to snicker or laugh as they heard Ridley giving off a scream that often meant he didn't understand or know how to deal with something. Even the Metroids seemed to jitter in amusement as Ridley was rapidly looking up half of the vocabulary used in the report he was dealing with.

"GAH! Curse you Egg-Head! Why can't you just word things normally!"

...

Author's Notes:

So yeah... I'm thinking this will probably be a comedy/sci-fi story that will usually be around two-thousand words a chapter for now. Not really much I can think up of for Robotnik's antics.

Anyways! Just don't forget to Review and tell me what you think so far! I'll see you all next time!