A/N-Last chapter! Thanks to everyone who's still reading this, and to those who reviewed-your feedback helped a lot and made me very happy. :) Thinking about posting another story I have written, and I've almost convinced myself but it's different from my others so I'm hesitant. We shall see. Anyway, thank you for reading!

Reminder that I don't own these characters and all credit goes to the creators of Big Time Rush.

My mother and his parents met me at the hospital, where I collapsed into my mother's arms and sobbed that they wouldn't let me back to see him. I was stuck on that, hating the world for keeping me away from him when he needed me most. My mother consoled me the best she could until I was rational enough to relate what had happened earlier. As I told them, I realized that it was my fault. Again, it was all my fault. I'd brought this on by forcing him to face memories he wasn't ready to. After that I was incoherent, scaring my mother so much she seriously considered having me put under sedation.

Before that could happen the doctor came out. I was relieved to see it was the same one that had been dealing with James from the beginning and knew his history.

"He's okay," was the first thing he said, not to James' parents but to me. He placed his hands on my shoulders to steady me and said it again. "He's okay, Logan. He's sleeping right now, the painkiller knocked him out, but he's okay. He's going to live."

I sank into a chair, only vaguely aware that I'd become the focus of the entire waiting room by then. My mother passed me a tissue and I cried into it until I was able to function, then asked the doctor to repeat what he'd just related to Cheryl and Richard.

"We ran two types of scans on him. The nerves in his brain were firing at a rate that's fatal if it goes on too long, but it's already scaling back. He lost consciousness because the body can't handle so much trauma at once. My fear was that he'd lose his memory again and that hasn't happened. He regained consciousness and was having trouble thinking clearly, but he knew who he was and where he was and why he's here. He also asked for you at least ten times and I'm sorry, I can't allow you back there yet. We need to make sure he's stabilized. What I can tell you for sure right now is that he remembers. He regained his memories, I got that much out of him before the painkiller kicked in. I'm positive that's what caused all of this, that his brain is overloaded and trying to assimilate all of the memories."

"But he'll be okay?" Cheryl asked. "This is temporary?"

"We think so. You're welcome to wait out here, but the medicine will keep him under for at least a few hours. By that time we should have this under control, or at least halfway there."

"Can I wait with him? Please?"

The doctor was about to argue; I saw it in his eyes.

"You know I'll just sneak in there anyway."

Surprisingly, it was my mother who came to my rescue. "If you don't let him back there, you'll end up with another patient to sedate. Please, doctor. He won't relax until he sees James for himself."

I didn't even care that they were discussing me like an ill-behaved child. Whatever it took to get me to James, that's what I'd do. A tantrum wasn't beneath me at that point.

"Come on back," the doctor sighed. My mother offered to stay with Cheryl and Richard and I didn't look back.

I wasn't going to leave him.

He looked much better this time in comparison to the last time I'd seen him in the ICU. There was no IV, no tubes, no oxygen being pumped into him. He was breathing normally, appearing to be completely at peace, and once I was satisfied that he wasn't in any pain I was able to breathe normally, too.

A hand on my shoulder made me jump.

"Sorry," the nurse apologized. It was the one who'd threatened to have me thrown out once before. "I just wanted to make sure you know that he's gonna be okay. It's different this time."

"I know," I sighed. "I just don't want him to suffer anymore. He's suffered so much in his life. He deserves to be happy."

"He's young. He's got plenty of time to make up for it. You two finally dating or what?"

"Yeah." I gave her a wan smile and covered my hand with his. "He won't have to go through life alone."

"He's lucky. We should all have someone as devoted as you."

"It's mutual." I leaned down to kiss his lips, which were warm and a healthy pink. "I'm surprised he hasn't proposed to me yet."

"I give it a week."

I laughed, something I'd never expected to do in a hospital where James lay unconscious before me. "We still have a lot to work through. He remembered everything."

"I heard. I also heard him screaming for you at the top of his lungs. Repeatedly. You two were made for each other."

Rather than take offense, I smiled. "Thank you. I'll take that as a compliment."

She left us alone then, most likely with a roll of her eyes. I lowered the bar of the hospital bed and hopped up to stretch out next to James. Sure, they'd kick me off soon enough, but for the moment I needed to be close to him and reassure myself that he was here and not going anywhere. As incredible as it sounds, I actually fell asleep. My head was on his chest and my arm around his waist.

I was home.

I woke when he stirred and groaned, immediately alert.

"Logan," he mumbled.

"Here. Right here. What do you need?"

"Hurts."

"Let me get the nurse, they can give you something for the pain."

"No," he protested weakly. "Not yet. It'll make me sleep."

"You need rest, your brain is-"

"Not yet," James repeated, slowly opening his eyes. "It's better. Still hurts, but better."

"Okay."

I'd risen to one elbow over him. He pulled me back down and cuddled me in. "Sorry I scared you."

"Don't be sorry, it's my fault. I shouldn't have pushed you."

"I needed to know."

"But look what it-"

"Logan," he interrupted, tone more firm than I would've thought him capable of in that moment. "I needed to know."

I said nothing.

"You really thought I'd forget you?"

"It happened once."

Unable to argue that, he changed the subject. "Who's here?"

"Mom. Your mom and dad."

"Do they know I'm okay?"

"Yeah. They know you will be."

Another a minute of silence, he stated, "I remember now."

"I heard. All of it?"

"All of it. Please don't think what happened to me is your fault."

"How can it not be?"

"Because he didn't try to kill me just because he saw us together."

I blinked a few times, letting that sink in. "No?"

"No. He hurt me because of that. Wanted me to suffer."

Nausea made my stomach lurch.

"But he didn't want me dead," James continued. "Not until I told him I was leaving him."

I sat up slowly to stare down at James; he let me go. "You were gonna leave him?"

"We talked about it that night, remember? I was gonna wait, figure out how to say it, make sure I did it when you were with me and maybe have John there, too. I could've just left a note and gotten everything out while he was at work, but I'm not a coward. At least not in that sense."

"So what happened?"

"He started...you know. Beating up on me. Worse than ever. And that's when I realized that all along, he's been more afraid than me. Of being alone and having no one to control. Me leaving would hurt him more than it would me. I wasn't afraid after that, I knew he was just scared. So I told him. I was laying on the carpet in so much pain I didn't think I could move, but I managed to get my phone out. He saw me and asked what I thought I was doing. I was calling you. I told him that. I told him I was done, that you'd shown me what love is supposed to feel like, and it was over between us. He..."

I waited, knowing how difficult it must be to remember, let alone talk about.

"He grabbed my phone and threw it against the wall. Told me you'd never have me. Said he'd kill me before he let anyone else touch me. I've never seen him like that, he was in a rage and his eyes..."

When James' eyes closed against the horror as if that would keep him from seeing it in his mind, I laid down again and kissed his jaw.

"I was too weak to run away. I tried, I knew he was gonna do it and I tried to get up but I couldn't, he was too fast. I remember...I remember saying your name, calling out to you even though I knew you couldn't hear me. That only pissed him off more. He said..."

"You don't have to-"

"He said he was gonna kill me, then go after you. He was...his hands. My throat. I couldn't breathe, and I remember knowing I was gonna die, that I was glad I'd told you I love you, and praying he wouldn't hurt you. I don't...after that...there's nothing."

I held him as he cried, the fear and sorrow finally coming to the surface after months of being locked inside his mind. "Who saved me?" he asked. "If it wasn't you..."

"Your neighbors. A lawyer told me that they both testified on your behalf, said they heard the uh...that he wasn't quiet as he punished you. They called the police, and the police broke in as he was strangling you. They caught him in the act, so...it wasn't hard to figure out what had been happening."

"My neighbors," James said in wonder. "Mrs. Lawrence. She's always so nice to me. I love that woman."

"She and her husband saved your life, James."

"We gotta go see them. Thank them. Do you think my things are still there, in the apartment?"

"I don't know. When you're feeling up to it, we can go over if you want. Talk to the landlord and see. I doubt it after so many months, but we can find out what happened to everything."

"Okay. Thanks. I'm tired. Do you think they can-"

"Let me take care of it. I'll get the nurse."

"Thank you. I love you."

"I love you, too," I smiled, and we kissed before I slid off the bed.

Once James was released from the hospital, he wanted nothing more than to begin his new life and leave the old one behind. With Logan's help he tracked down his belongings and kept about half of them, then paid a visit to his old neighbors and thanked them for a debt he couldn't ever repay. They admitted they'd suspected things weren't right for awhile, though they'd never imagined the abuse was physical, and apologized that it took something so drastic to get their attention. James hugged them both and argued that they were heroes, his true affectionate nature showing itself more and more with each passing day. It warmed Logan's heart.

He decided that he wanted to keep his job at the shop and officially quit the supermarket. Sapphire was disappointed but understanding, mostly happy that he remembered her and wasn't shy about hugging her. She too was a hero to him for pressing Logan to keep trying when he was afraid to push James too far. After an hour of conversation over lunch while Logan was working, they returned to the shop and announced that Sapphire was going to jump ship and work at the yogurt shop. Logan asked if John was aware of that and James shrugged, knowing that John might argue but in the end would give James anything he wanted. That was the power of James Diamond at full force, irresistible and charming but also not above throwing a tantrum when he wanted something badly enough. He rarely lost an argument.

Logan also decided to keep his job at the shop, though he cut back his hours in order to devote time to the book that was now consuming him. James had smashed through his writer's block and he worked day and night to complete it, then made a thousand revisions (even allowing James to make a few suggestions). He hired an editor, who eventually found him a publisher, and with James' encouragement, found the courage to show the world what he could do when he truly opened his mind and heart and poured them into words.

James' dream had been a quiet life, one filled with love and friends. Logan's had been to share his words, to write a book that changed lives. Together they made their dreams come true in a way they couldn't have on their own, because what each of them needed most was each other.

Together, they'd found home.

Three Years Later

"Are you okay?" I asked in concern, studying James more closely.

"Yeah," James answered, wiping a tear away with his thumb. "That last line always gets me."

"Which one? 'Together, they'd found home'?"

"Yeah. It's...you know. Cheesy. But probably the most accurate thing in this book."

"What's that supposed to mean? I didn't lie about any of it. Didn't even 'enhance' it the way my editor wanted me to. What you're reading is exactly how it happened."

"Calm down, babe, I never said you lied." James closed the book and laid it on my desk, where he'd parked himself to read the last chapter. "I know how it happened, I was there."

"Then what's the problem?"

"There is no problem. I love it. Except for the fact that my name isn't Tommy."

"You know I had to change all the names, babe. To protect you. As far as most of the world will know, the story is completely made up. That's how it needs to be."

"I know," James sighed, rolling the chair away from the desk and patting his thigh in invitation. "It's not even that I mind so much, it's your name change. It's just weird to read this about people named Justin and Tommy. We lived it."

"It doesn't matter anyway, no one's gonna read this book."

I allowed James to pull me down onto his lap as he answered. "Shut up, people are gonna read this book and they're gonna love it. How could they not? One of the characters is...what was it? 'Irresistible and charming?'"

"Also not above throwing a tantrum, if you recall."

"Hey, we all have our ways of getting what we want."

"Not all of us."

"Bullshit. You have your ways with me."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Doing a passable imitation of me, he said, "'James, if you lob one more spoonful of yogurt at me I'll never suck you off again!' I don't even know what 'lob' means but it works. Don't tell me you don't have your ways of getting what you want."

"Fine, I confess that I know how to get through to you. Now tell me the truth, James. Honestly. Do you like it? I mean, the book's on the way to stores now but that doesn't mean I can't pull the plug if you want me to. We can recall it before it's sold and-"

"No way. That book is going to make Logan Mitchell a household name."

"I don't know how I feel about that. What if Scott-"

"He never knew your last name."

"It's not hard to find out, James. He might have known it. And he's due for parole next month, what if-"

"What if nothing. You changed the names for a reason, and parole means that—if he steps out of line, he's right back in the cage. He's not stupid, he knows that."

"He's had three years to plan his vengeance. He could-"

"Do you want to move?"

The question seemed to come out of nowhere, but I was glad James was finally voicing the subject aloud; I'd known it was on his mind. "Do you?" I returned.

"I don't know. I can't imagine leaving the shop, but..."

"You've been watching those DVD's a lot lately," I hinted gently. "You miss it, don't you?"

"Not the fame. I'll never miss the fame. But I miss acting. It was my first love, you know?"

"Yeah," I smiled. "Are you worried that the fame will sidetrack you, though? Pull you back into the drugs?"

"No. Not with you there. That's what I was missing before, someone to ground me. Structure. A lot of actors manage to lead normal lives outside of work. They have families, go to the gym and grocery store without being hassled by the paps. We could make it work if we wanted to. And it's not like I'd start out with any big roles anyway. It'll take a few years for the industry to take me seriously, to see me as anything more than some kid actor trying to make a comeback."

"You've really given this a lot of thought," I mused.

"I have," he admitted, blushing. "It's...I don't know. Do you hate the idea?"

"I've given it some thought, too," I assured him. "There's a lot I'd miss if we moved away. But as long as we do it together, I'd be happy out there. I do have one condition, though."

"What's that?"

"Rusty goes with us. I'm not moving without my dog again."

"Excuse me? Your dog? Who does he sleep with every night?"

"Uh, both of us?"

"No no no, Logan. He sleeps on my side of the bed. Usually on my legs. Sorry, babe, he's pretty much devoted to me now."

"Who feeds him?"

"What does that matter?"

"It means everything to a dog. He's ours. I take it you're fine with him coming along to Los Angeles?"

"You act like I'd even consider moving without him."

"Good. So...did we just decide to do this?"

"I think we did. Let's talk it over with Mom tonight, see how she feels about it."

"She won't want us to move."

"But she won't stop us, either. Not if she knows it's what we want. Just think, Logan, you can do book signings and everything out there."

"Nobody's gonna want my autograph. It's not a life-changing story, James. It's just the story of us."

"I'd say that story changed both our lives. Wouldn't you?"

I couldn't argue that. "So honestly, you like it?"

"I admit I prefer the notebook version. The one you wrote for me. But that one's...it's not...it's just for me."

"Yeah."

"When are you gonna let me read the stories you wrote in college about us?"

"Never." I hopped up from his lap and made it two steps before he dragged me back down.

"I think it's cute."

"It's embarrassing."

"It's wonderful. You loved me even then. You just didn't know it."

"I didn't know you."

"You did. You knew enough to come back to me."

"I came home."

"According to this book, it's the same thing. I'm home, right?"

The truth of that couldn't be denied, and all of the argument went out of me. "You are," I whispered, kissing him deeply.

"Welcome home," he grinned, slipping a hand inside my sweats.

I gasped when he touched me, immediately giving in.

It was good to be home.

A/N--So in case it isn't clear now, the reason I switched between first person and third person in this story is because you were actually reading two versions of it: first person was the notebook version Logan wrote for James, third person was from the book he eventually published for the world to read (obviously before he changed the names haha). The last section wasn't from either version, but more from a narrator's POV of what happened after the events in the book. Hope that's not too confusing but it probably is. Sorry!