"Here you go, Jubei. My proposal for next week's meeting." Ragna announced as he handed his paper to Jubei.

It was just another day at Blazblue Inc. For some odd yet never explained reason, everyone that was part of the playable Blazblue game got a job here.

Yes...everyone. And I do mean everyone.

Even you, Minerva. Yes, you. I see you over there, talking to Nago about how cute Carl is.

"..."

Hey, don't you dare blush! And don't act shy, either. I know you've been trying to talk to Carl for the past few weeks, since you like the boy. I only warn you about his sister, ok?

She's got her eyes on you...

Anyway, the company's goal is to...well, there is no goal.

It's just here for shenanigans and whatnot to make you laugh. Or cringe. Or maybe both. Like the one you're about to read now.

"Thanks, Ragna. Let me just have a look here and we'll be set." Jubei responded, looking over the paper.

After a few moments, he smiled. "Welp, everything seems to be in order. I'll run this by the others in the meeting. Thanks again, Ragna."

The white haired man nodded. "NIce! And look just five minutes until lunch time, too!"

At those words, Jubei's eyes widened and he went ungodly pale. "L...lunch?"

This did not go unnoticed by Ragna. "Yeah. What, you don't like lunch or something?"

Then an alarm went off from Jubei's phone. The cat took one look at it before snatching it up, gathering his belongings and rushing out of there as fast as his legs could carry him.

"If anyone asks, you never saw my face!" He yelled as he disappeared.

Confused by the display, Ragna reluctantly went back to his cubicle to wait for lunch. He could ponder about Jubei's behavior later.

But he couldn't help but wonder about Jubei's alarm from his phone, which read in big red letters "RUN AND HIDE, BITCH! SHE'S COMING FOR YOU!"

5 minutes later…

The bell rang in the office, meaning that it was time to go to lunch.

"Whoo! Finally, I'm starving my ass off!" Ragna yelled as he stretched his limbs and reached for his wallet. But before he could make his way out of his cubicle, the wall on the other side of the room exploded.

"What the hell?!"

Debris went flying everywhere, the other employees cowered in fear...and in the middle of all of that carnage was a very, very livid Konoe A Mercury, aka Nine the Phantom.

Who was on fire.

While holding a lunch box labeled "For my Jubei-kyun!" with a heart symbol on it.

"WHERE IS HE?!" Nine asked in a voice that could only be described as pure terror.

Everyone responded in screams as she walked forward, each step burning a hole in the floor.

"WHERE IS JUBEI?! BRING HIM TO ME NOW!"

Ragna was so scared at that moment that he nearly pissed his pants. Which would suck since he didn't have any more clean pairs left.

Not wanting to incur the woman's wrath, he quietly but quickly made his way to the bathroom, dodging flying chairs, keyboards and Bang Shishigamis along the way.

Once in the bathroom, he let out a big sigh. "Whew! I'm safe. The hell's her problem?!"

"She wants me…" a voice sounded off...from one of the stalls.

Ragna faced one of them and heard a flush. Then the door opened, revealing one Jubei, hold the wise wisdom.

"Well...that I know. She said as much when she busted up the wall. In fact, you can still hear her right now."

Meanwhile in the office, a poor soul named Iron Tager was being tossed around by one angry witch by one hand, while said witch was crying her eyes out in anger and sadness and rolling around on the floor in a comical fashion.

"GIBE ME MY JYUBEI NYAOW!"

"And now she's been reduced to some kind of dumb anime chick…"

Jubei sighed. "Damn it…"

Ragna looked at the small cat. "You...should probably go out there and calm her down. Or else people could...you know...die?"

Jubei shook his head. "Nah. The author'll bring them back in the next chapter, give or take a few details. That, and...there's a reason I'm avoiding her."

Ragna sat down on the sink. "Oh really? Why's that?"

"Ever since I came to the playable cast, she's been on me, non-stop." Jubei explained. "She wants sex all of the time, sometimes even neglecting meals just to sleep with me!"

Ragna raised an eyebrow. "And that's bad because...? I mean, skipping meals is bad, but she's a hot woman. You should be lucky."

"...it's gotten to the point that she didn't care about Celica when the girl announced that she met a guy that she liked."

"...Ok, that's bad." Ragna concluded.

"Not to mention as soon as the clock strikes noon, before I know it, she's gotten me into the storage closet and...you know." Jubei shuddered.

"Well now I know where you go during lunch…" Ragna muttered.

But then the wall to the bathroom exploded, scaring both men, revealing a livid Nine, who scanned the room for her beloved Jubei…

...who she found...and immediately sported a sultry look on her face…

...and in what Ragna could only call Blinding Speed and before anyone could even respond, she made her way to Jubei, scooped him up, ran to the storage closet and shut the door, all in less than a second.

She then reached out and placed a "Disturb and Die" sign on the doorknob before closing it again.

All that was heard for the remainder of the lunch break was Jubei's howls of anguish.