Civil Skirmishes

Chapter 35- Conclusion

At the end of August, Frank finished packing odds and ends into his car in preparation for his return to college. He always ended up leaving more junk at his parents' house than he intended, and needing more things for his apartment on campus than the year before. The summer had flown by, and, before he'd known it, it was time to go back to school. He still had to say goodbye to his brother, but he walked into the kitchen and grabbed an apple first, closing his eyes and remembering the last week and a half, one of the best times of his life.

Callie had to go back to UCLA a full two weeks before he had to return to Princeton, and his heart had ached all summer at the thought of letting her go. Their time together had been so limited, and, other than the vacation from hell in Gettysburg, they'd had no vacation away together, commitments, family, friends, and cases filling up their individual schedules. Even their dates had been rushed and all too infrequent.

That case in Gettysburg had made him realize many things about her, about them, about the issues that they still needed to work through despite their absolute commitment to and deep love for each other. In a spur of the moment decision, after having met with her parents several times to clarify his intentions towards her, and finally having them on his side, he asked if they would mind if he flew out to California with her to help her get settled in. And, to his astonishment, they not only did they not try to discourage him, but they also very much supported the idea.

The time they'd had was something he would treasure for the rest of his life. She'd been so excited to show him her world, her new existence, and he'd been thrilled to experience it with her. They'd spent their days at the beach, running, swimming, surfing, sightseeing, and enjoying the perfect weather and scenery, and their nights reconnecting, treasuring the time they had sorely needed for intimacy in each other's arms.

Johnny had been away for a lot of the time, just as Callie had said he would be. But for two of those days, he'd been there, and Frank had cautiously watched him alone and with Callie. And, slowly, he began to see in Johnny what Callie had described: a genuine, fun, friendly person who teased Callie and made her laugh, and who also loved her very much. For the first time, really, Frank found himself comforted by it. Yes, Callie and Johnny did care deeply for each other, it was totally obvious, but it was not the love that he shared with Callie; not even close. He even found himself liking Johnny as well, and the thought that Johnny would protect her in his absence gave him solace.

One day, when Callie was registering for classes, he had a few hours alone. Johnny had approached him and told him that it was probably time to see where IT had happened, to go through things from his point of view. And, though the thought terrified him, they had done so. It had taken Frank's breath away and he'd felt his knees go weak as he'd sank down on a bench near the scene. His stomach was in knots and he'd gotten very choked up. How a place could look so innocent but hold such abject horror inside… much like the battlefield at Gettysburg… was still beyond him.

He had almost been unable to catch his breath when he felt Johnny's arm around him, his simple "I understand" uniting them forever, because he DID understand, and was the only one who ever really would. And Johnny had tentatively offered to listen if Frank ever needed to work through his own complex feelings about Callie's attack. Shocked, he'd met Johnny's eyes and felt- relief. It took a lot for him to trust people, but Johnny was different- he'd be forever bound to him through Callie- and he did need to talk. It dawned on him as well that Johnny probably needed to talk as well. Very slowly, he nodded and Johnny gave him a small smile. As a teary Johnny had showed him the scene, he'd related what he'd seen and done, and tried to explain how it had affected her and him as well. It was one of the most emotionally painful conversations that Frank had ever experienced, but he was glad that he'd done it, because now he knew, and knowledge was power.

Johnny had told him about his relationship with Callie, too, and it mirrored exactly what Callie had told him. He assured Frank that she was much better, and that they rarely, if ever, talked of it anymore. And Johnny had told him, point blank, that he loved Callie with all his heart, but she was, unequivocally, "Frank's girl." He had a feeling that he and Johnny were going to be good friends one day, and they solidified plans to meet over Thanksgiving break in New York to really talk and make sure the air was clear.

On the final day that he and Callie had spent together, they'd sequestered themselves in the apartment, making love for hours, just trying to freeze time, and, that night, he remembered vividly the emotion he'd felt when holding her in his arms, a feeling he wouldn't be able to replicate for months. He'd seen the devotion in her eyes, the absolute trust, and he knew that he would marry her; love her for the rest of his life. They'd worked through so much in their past, and he could not wait for the day when he would place a ring on her finger and ask her to be his wife. Even now, the thought made him a little giddy.

He loved her with everything he had and was, and their skirmishes had only made them stronger. He smiled to himself at the memory, willing the next few months to pass quickly so he would be with her again.

"Someone's daydreaming," Joe cut into his thoughts as he plopped next to him by the table. "And that look on your face was none too innocent, so I can only imagine what you were thinking about."

Frank blushed. Leave it to Joe.

"Leaving so soon, big brother?" Joe asked.

"Yeah," Frank replied with a sigh. "I really have to get going."

"I'll walk you out," Joe commented, and Frank smiled.

Once at Frank's car, Joe said, "Hell of a summer, huh? I'm glad you were around to spend it with me."

"I'm glad, too, Joe," Frank answered sincerely. "I have to tell you… you've grown up a lot this summer. Really. I couldn't be more proud of you."

Joe blushed a bit, always happy to receive praise from his role model. "I think I got a lot of shit... stuff..." he corrected quickly, despite Frank's grin, "figured out. Chet and I- we're good now," he said quietly.

"I know," Frank told him. "And Chet is really happy about it."

"We're making plans to get together at least once or twice a month- visit at each other's colleges… things like that."

"That's good," Frank assured him. "And… it's a healthy way to remember and honor Iola, too."

Joe took a deep breath before nodding. "It is."

"Callie and you seem to be buddies now," Frank cut in, changing the subject for Joe. "Can I trust this?"

"I made you a promise and her a promise," Joe said directly. Before Frank could question that, he added, "don't ask. That's between her and me. But the upshot is that yeah- we're good. I kind of like her," he joked, and, seeing how happy that thought made his brother, he smiled. "Actually, I really like her. She makes me think, she challenges me, she drives me nuts...which is mutual, I'm sure," he added. "But you know what? When I think of her more as like… a sister… than your girlfriend, it makes sense to me. And I'll tell you what I told her: if we don't kill each other, we may end up the best of friends."

Joe felt his smile soften as he saw how his words made Frank's eyes tear. "Don't worry about either of us. We're okay. We've reached a truce; the war is over."

Frank reached over and hugged him tightly, and Joe felt himself get a little teary himself. "I love you," Joe told him. "Thank you for everything. You always know how to keep me in line."

Frank pulled back and smiled. "You are stronger than you know, and you always make me proud. I love you, too. Everyone loves you. Promise me you will love yourself." He laughed when he saw Joe wipe his eyes.

"Sweating?" he teased.

Joe started laughing. "She told you, huh? Now she'd better watch out. In fact, I may call her and give her the heads up about sharing our little secrets and my ability to get revenge."

Frank chuckled before speaking. "Say hi to Hooper and Vanessa for me. And Joe? You're doing the right thing."

Joe felt himself smile from ear to ear. "I know I am. Call me when you get there, okay?"

"Okay, Mom," Frank teased back as he got into his car. With a final wave and honked horn, Frank departed. Joe fought back the tears again. He was so lucky to have Frank as his big brother, and he was grateful for all the time Frank had given him this summer and for every season of his life, really.

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Joe knocked on the door to Vanessa's apartment, eager to see her. When she opened the door, Joe placed the bag he had brought with him on the floor and scooped her into his arms, holding her close.

"Mmmmm, I missed you so much," he murmured into her ear.

"I missed you, too," she answered him, leaning back slightly to kiss him.

When they finally pulled apart, Vanessa nuzzled his nose. "Come on. I have something I need you for in the bedroom."

Joe sighed dramatically. "What does a guy have to do these days to avoid being judged solely on devastating good looks? You'd think at least a guy could get wined and dined before being expected to get into bed."

Vanessa started laughing. "The double standard is excruciating, yes," she giggled. "But I'm not getting you into bed- yet," she added, a mischievous look in her eyes. "I need to show you something."

"That's how it always starts," he joked, and Vanessa swatted him.

"Okay, okay," he laughed. "What do you have to show me in the bedroom? I can't believe I'm asking you that with zero expectations of sex," he teased.

"Joe! Just follow me!" she exclaimed, and took his hand.

Once inside, she reached into a dresser drawer and handed him a rectangular box. "Here," she said shyly. "This was supposed to be for our anniversary, but… you know," she added with a blush. "Anyway, I wanted you to have it. The day doesn't matter. Just look at it as a token of my undying love and appreciation for you."

Joe smiled and unwrapped the mirrored box. "Damn, that's a good looking gift."

Vanessa raised her brows. "What?! You didn't open it yet."

"It's a mirror," Joe replied with a straight face. "You can't blame me for appreciating the attractiveness when I look at it."

Vanessa rolled her eyes. "Open it!" she told him.

Joe winked at her and opened the box. Inside was the gorgeous sports watch that he'd admired for close to a year. "Wow," he breathed as he removed the watch. "You didn't need to do this, babe," he said quietly, touched.

"You like it?" Vanessa asked, almost as excited as he was.

"I love it," he whispered. Leaning over to her, he pulled her into him and kissed her deeply. "Now here's the part where I'd normally make mad, passionate love to you," he joked lightly, "but that's gonna have to wait, because I brought you a few gifts, too."

Vanessa's brow shot up. "Wait. I thought you were just coming over to hang out tonight. You didn't say anything about gifts. Why?"

"Because I love you," he said, simply. "And because I want to give you a few things. I'm really hoping you'll like them. Go in the living room. I'll be right there. And don't peak!" he cautioned her.

Joe watched as Vanessa took a seat on the couch and he took a deep breath, knowing what was coming. He took a moment to look at her, this beautiful woman who had changed him forever. And it was more than her beauty that spoke to him, though she was stunning: she had never tried to change him, had given him time and patience and support, allowing him to make his own mistakes and to learn from them. In turn, in her, he'd found his best friend, the woman who he woke up every day for, excited to see what the world would hold in store. He would no longer waste a second of his life holding back his feelings: she deserved to know what his heart could not say.

He walked over to her and took the bag with him. "Vanessa," he began, his voice a little shaky, "I can never thank you enough for all you've done for me. You are my reason to get up every day and I swear to god you make my life worth living. I love you more than you will ever know."

He watched as she blushed, saw the tears in her eyes. "I love you, too," she whispered.

He took a deep breath again and went on. "But talk is cheap. So I wanted to get you a few things to show you that I listen to you and I value you. So, gift one." He handed her a box.

Vanessa smiled and unwrapped it. "It's my perfume!" she exclaimed. "Aw, sweetie, thanks. I was running low on it."

Joe smiled and touched her cheek. "That's not the point. I gave it to you in a blue box, your favorite color, and I knew what your favorite perfume was. I remember a day you weren't so confident I knew those things."

"Oh, Joe," she whispered.

"Now gift two," he went on, handing her another package wrapped in blue, as they all were. When she opened it, she gasped. It was a framed photo of her parents and her from when she was a small child, one of the few that remained of all of them.

"I got a copy from your mom," he told her. "Your mom, who I've gotten to know. And I want to know her better and to know all about your dad."

Vanessa's lip quivered.

"Baby, I don't care if it's good or bad. Those two people helped to make the most beautiful and amazing woman, and I want to know all of you, like you will know all of me."

Vanessa nodded, wiping back tears.

"Gift three," he told her, and, laughing slightly, she opened it.

"It's an antique plate from Gettysburg!" she gasped. "The blue and white kind. Oh, Joe. It's beautiful."

"I got your mom a matching one, so you'd be connected. And I know about how you got interested in it, ya little trouble-maker," he teased her.

"Gift four," he went on, handing her an envelope.

Opening it, she smiled. "A Baskin Robbins gift card?" she asked, puzzled.

"I never did get you that ice cream this summer," he reminded her. "And I will treat you to as many Butter Pecan cones as you'd like. See? I know the right flavor; I always did. I just was distracted and an idiot one day. Forgive me as we consume just ugly amounts of calories over dessert each day."

"I love it, baby. Thank you." She was deeply touched by the gesture.

"Not done yet!" Joe replied. "Look on the back of the card."

Vanessa's nose wrinkled. "2972? What the heck is that?"

"The passcode to my phone," he replied, seriously. "I have nothing to hide from you. I'm sorry it took me so long to give it to you."

Vanessa was crying openly now. "Change it," she whispered.

"What? Why?" he asked, shocked.

"I never needed it," she sobbed quietly. "I just wanted to know that you'd trust me with it. Thank you."

Joe smiled. "I'm not changing it," he reassured her.

"4321," Vanessa sniffled.

Joe burst out laughing. "Okay, well, we're changing yours!" he replied, his eyes twinkling. "That's an awful passcode. Do you have 'password' as your password for other things?"

At her silence, he continued to laugh. "Wow."

"Oh, hush," she laughed through her tears.

When they settled down, Joe suddenly felt a little light headed. His palms were sweaty and he felt very nervous. This was it.

"One more thing," he told her, and he handed her a little box. "This is the most important of all." He breathed deeply. "Open it."

Vanessa saw the intensity of his stare and opened the box. Inside was a simple key. She looked at him questioningly.

"Look at me," he said to her, touching her face tenderly. "Look what's different about me."

It took her a few minutes, but she gasped.

"That's right," he whispered. "No more necklace. I thought I would exchange one set of old mangled keys for a brand new one. Vanessa, will you move in with me?"

Vanessa felt the air sucked from her lungs and she could barely breathe. She nodded furiously as Joe stood and lifted her in his arms, tears in his eyes to match her own.

"I'm so relieved," he choked out. "I just needed time to honor Iola and to say goodbye, and I know she's okay with us. Thank you for giving me a reason to live each day and a hope for my future. I love you, baby."

Vanessa was shaking. "What about Biff?" she managed.

Joe laughed. "He knows. He was kind of pissed until I promised him a guy's night out once a week and free beer night the third Thursday of the month. Plus, he's getting a single apartment next year and he's not too upset about that."

"Now I really want to show you something in the bedroom," she whispered seductively in his ear.

Joe felt his heart fill with love. It had been a summer of intense pain and personal growth, and learning to let go of the past to carve a new future. Three months ago, he'd been afraid to commit to the woman he loved for fear of betraying the love of his past. He'd taken Biff for granted simply because he was Biff. He'd isolated himself from Chet, found every reason to challenge Frank on everything, and hated Callie. He'd downed his sorrows in liquor and self -loathing.

But now, as summer was winding down, his hopes were higher than ever. He'd made peace with Iola, reconnected with Chet, grown even closer with his brother, and found a new, dear friendship with Callie. He and Biff were brothers, tighter than ever, despite the move. He'd taken the time to know Andrea, and his precious Vanessa had given him another chance, one which he would not forsake. And he'd learned that dulling the pain meant not facing it, and he was through running.

Yes, he knew now that sometimes war would rage within everyone, and the battles would leave their scars. But if he could forgive his own actions and be civil with himself, the skirmishes would eventually end, and a new, better peace would emerge, full of happiness and boundless promise.

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Author's note: I would like to thank many people who have been so kind to leave positive reviews and messages for me on this story. Nothing is more encouraging than to read reviews and to see 1) that people are actually reading the story and that 2) they care enough to share their thoughts. I want to especially thank those of you who left feedback on almost all of the chapters. It has been a great pleasure for me getting to "know" so many of you via PMs and comments. However, every person who has left feedback is very much appreciated. To that end, thank you to the following people: Barb, BeeBee18, BMSH, candylou, Caranath, Drumboy100, Erin Jordan, EvergreenDreamweaver, FanHB08, Guests, Hero 76, hbndgirl, hlahabibty, Iheartninjago2010, Lina 59, MAN UTD, max2013, Moon in Scorpio, NexttoMe, Orions Belte, Paulina Ann, Red Hardy, Robin's Egg, sm2003495, TinDog, and Tinee Dancer. Thanks as well to those who "Favorited" the story or who just simply read it. I know that time is valuable, so thank you for sharing yours with me.

I have written one more story (a holiday one) called "Stay by my Side", which is ten chapters long and jumps ahead to a few months after "The Stages of Conviction" left off- same universe. If you're interested, I would love to have you read it. I'll start to post it in a week or so. Other than that, I have no other stories written at this time. I will finish posting "Christmas Wishes", a story I co-wrote with Red Hardy, and I MAY post an old story (2002) that I wrote for a holiday contest on HDA, called "Fly Away". We shall see about that one! Hopefully, I'll start to plot out a new story in the same arc; that is, if the muses are willing to help!

I have enjoyed the writing process immensely, and I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to share my imagination with people. I thank those of you who have been so supportive and kind from the bottom of my heart. Thanks for taking this journey with me. I hope you enjoyed the ride. Happiest of holidays to all of you!

—Cheryl