Hi everybody! So a little while ago I made a fic about a drunken pirate reader and their very interesting first impression on Sans and I started thinking a little bit about all the other AUs and what sort of first impressions would intrigue them.
US Papyrus is one of my favourites for sure (coming in at joint place with UT Sans, just below SF Papyrus) and I liked the idea of creating a quick little oneshot of him meeting a human that interested him and imagining what sort of human that could be.
I hope you all like it and please bare in mind that I do not advocate smoking in any shape or form (but by god does Paps look cool with a cigarette)

Smoke curled and wavered, softly floating on an all but nonexistent breeze. You watched it drift higher and higher until the ghostly grey shade of it had faded into the starless sky. You shivered slightly but you didn't move from your spot.

There was a pause, the sound of a soft inhale, then another plume of curling smoke was blown out.

Your eyes drifted down the soft, curling wisps, travelling down to the smoker who stood beside you, leaning against the icy metal railings railings and staring out at the city below.

You weren't quite sure when he got there. Perhaps it was a few minutes ago, perhaps half an hour. Maybe he had even been there before you arrived. He could have been. You hadn't thought to look at any of the smokers out on the balcony when you made your escape from the crowds.

You had been out there for a while though, when you heard the flare of a match, quiet but somehow louder than the thrumming beat from the club behind you. You had glanced to your right and found him there, slouched forwards with a cigarette held in a lax grip.

He didn't look back at you, simply staring out at the city and up at the sky, face hidden by his hood. You could see his hands though as they brought the cigarette up to his mouth. You knew he was a monster as soon as you noticed the skeletal digits. You really didn't care though. You were more focused on the way the smoke curled up around his hand and drifted into the sky.

The monster did seem to care though, eventually shifting and turning to look at you as you watched the smoke escape his mouth, curling through his teeth. Your eyes roamed over his face, taking in the faint white shine of his skull under the weak, outdoor lighting and the darkened voids where his eyes should have been.

"... can i help you?" he asked, voice mild but with a hint of pissed-off.

You thought on this for a second before turning to look out over the balcony and smiling. "Mind if I bum a smoke off you?"

The smoker was silent for a little while, then, slowly, he fished out a dented pack of cigarettes out of his hoodie pocket and offered you one.

"Ta," you said, taking one with your left hand and placing it in you mouth as you rummaged around your pockets for your lighter. You had thrown out all your cigarettes a few months back but you just couldn't bring yourself to throw away your lighter. It was a present from your ex, the crazy bastard. It brought back loads of good memories though. You finally found it and flicked it on, bringing the flame up to your mouth.

There was a slight scoff from next to you and you turned to see him looking down at your lighter. At least you think he was, it was hard to tell in the dark and with his eyeless sockets.

"What?" You asked, bringing the flame closer to light the cigarette.

"nothing. just being a jackass," he answered with a smirk.

You looked down at the donkey shaped lighter and shook your head, putting it away.

"It's a cool lighter. Don't knock it," you said, taking a long drag from the cigarette and blowing the smoke up through your mouth, a small smile curling at your lips as the grey vapor escaped. Your shoulders loosened and your heart rate slowed. Why had you given this up again?

"not knocking it. i agree, it's very cool."

"Too right it is." You nodded, turning to face the monster. "You on a big night out then?"

The monster pulled a face and looked back out across the city. "not voluntarily."

"Overzealous friends?"

He let out a soft bark of laughter and nodded. "yeah, you could definitely describe them like that. last i saw of that lot, they were spinning round a metal pole on the third floor."

"That's pop world isn't it? No one can resist the pole," you chuckled, "my lot were on the floor below, heavy metal and all that. They then glued their faces to a couple of strangers and went off heaven knows where."

He gave you an incredulous look and you gave him a 'what-can-you-do' shrug back. You both turned and looked back out at the city. There was a comfortable silence between you as you both leaned over the balcony, breath and smoke indistinguishable from each other in the icy air.

You took another long drag from the cigarette, trying to puff out the smoke into a ring. It came off a bit lopsided but you figured it was good seeing as you were out of practice.

"not bad, kid," the monster smirked besides you, before puffing out a square.

You snickered, the smoke curling from your nose now and making you look like a demented dragon.

"Holy shit, how'd you do that?" You asked, turning to look at him fully.

The monster didn't say anything, just puffing out another plume of smoke which looked like-

"Okay, now you're definitely shitting me," you deadpanned as you watched the bone shaped cloud of smoke float up into the sky. "You Gandalf or something?"

The monster laughed at that, bending over and resting his head against the railing as he choked on his laughter.

"tricks of the trade, hon," he snickered, straightening up somewhat and waving his hands in a 'ta-da' motion. You smiled at his brief burst of energy and shook your head with a snort.

"name's papyrus," said the monster crossing one of the aforementioned hands across his body for you to shake. It was his right, that meant you had to shake him with your right hand. Oh well, hopefully he'd get a kick out of this and not freak out.

You gave him your name and moved your hand into his, watching him expectantly. Strangely, he was giving you a similar, anticipating look which quickly faded into bemusement.

"huh, not had that reaction before, that's a shocker," he said pulling back his hand and waving it at you. You quirked a brow on seeing the black device strapped to his palm. He tried to prank you with an electric handshake? What a weirdo. You smiled.

"I think I can one up that," you chuckled, placing your cigarette in your mouth as you detached your right hand and gave him a wave back with it.

Papyrus clearly wasn't expecting that and choked, spluttering out smoke as he tried to recover himself. You sniggered and screwed your hand back on, fiddling with the glove to make sure it covered the plastic properly.

"wow," Papyrus muttered to himself between coughs. "did- didn't see that coming."

"Serves you right for trying to electrocute a fellow smoker," you lightly chided him.

He stared at you for a beat, dark eye sockets fixed on you, before his teeth stretched up into a grin. "heh, yeah, serves me right."

You nodded with mock severity and turned back to look out at the city, watching the smoke spiral out beneath you to be lost in the hazy glow of the many lights below.

"mind if i ask how that happened?"

You blinked, shaken from your stupor, and tilted your head. Papyrus was watching you and seemed to have been doing so for a while.

"Run away freight train," you answered him with a straight face.

He cocked his brow bone.

"Or was it a crocodile with a clock in its belly?" You added on, humming slightly as you pretended to remember.

"captain hook, huh?" Papyrus shook his head and took one last drag of the cigarette before putting the stub out on the railings.

"Hah, I would definitely get a hook if I weren't the sort to get it stuck in everything," you took in a deep breath and smiled bitterly. "Don't usually wear this thing either, bit of a pain with the harness to be frank."

"why wear it then?" Papyrus asked, turning around and leaning his lower part of his back against the railings. You looked up at him. He was much taller than you had thought when he was hunched over the railing. You only just came up to his shoulder. He gave you a look and you realised you hadn't answered. You hummed to buy yourself a bit of time while you tried to remember what he'd asked.

"... I suppose I was kinda looking for someone tonight as well, maybe. I just didn't want loads of drunkards to ask me questions or be weird about it," you stopped as you caught the guilty look forming on Papyrus's face and quickly corrected yourself. "I didn't want lots of rudequestions. You're fine dude."

Papyrus nodded and you both fell back into silence. You vaguely wondered why Papyrus was still standing on the balcony with you, seeing as he'd finished his smoke. It didn't look like he was moving anywhere soon by the way he was comfortably slouching against the railings again.

"So, Papyrus, huh?" It was your turn to ask a question now.

Papyrus gave you the side eye. "ye-ah. like the font, i've heard this one before."

"Nah, I was gonna say like the Egyptian paper," you corrected him.

"... heh, yeah, both work i suppose. didn't know about the egyptian thing till i got up here."

"It's a cool name. Egyptian history was my favourite school topic when I was a kid."

Papyrus didn't say anything to that. You looked up, only to see him smiling down at you. You smiled questioningly back.

"What?"

"nothing."

He gave you a shit eating grin and you rolled your eyes.

"didn't find anyone worth your interest out there then?" Papyrus asked, seemingly changing the topic.

You snorted sardonically. "Lets see, I had two grinders, an idiot who tried to make out with the back of my head and a drunk bastard who threw up next to me then tried to force a snog on me."

Papyrus was no longer smiling. "you're joking, right?"

"Pretty awful joke if I am," you sighed. "Slim pickings out there tonight. You had any issues?"

"not really, only one or two idiots so far but they were easy to deal with," Papyrus paused for a brief second before looking down at you with a frown. "i think i'm gonna regret asking this, but what's a 'grinder'?"

You puffed out a surprised laugh and shook your head as you explained. Papyrus didn't say anything after you finished, he looked somewhat queasy.

"Yeah, my thoughts exactly. After the last one I decided to go get some air. But guess what happened then?"

"what?" He asked, curiosity overcoming the scrunched up distaste on his face. You took a long pull of your cigarette and looked over to him with a grin.

"I met this really cool dude. He had a great name, could blow smoke bones and was awful at pranks."

Papyrus grinned, eye-sockets crinkling with mirth. "sounds like a keeper."

"Yeah, he does, doesn't he?"

Papyrus blinked several times then looked straight ahead, seemingly at nothing.

"huh," he said before looking back at you and visibly swallowing. "so... you wanna-?"

"PAPPIEEEEE!"

Papyrus cut himself off, his head falling down into a chest with a heavy sigh.

"and here they come," he muttered before looking around and facing an excitable trio of monsters bounding through the door to the balcony.

You sidled away slightly, distancing yourself from the obvious target of the drunkards, to which Papyrus gave you a knowing, grumpy look. You shrugged and moved even further away.

"PAPPY! THERE YOU ARE! I KNEW YOU'D BE UP HERE!" exclaimed the little skeleton one with an extraordinarily loud voice, bouncing up to Papyrus and giving him a hug around the waist. A few of the other smokers on the balcony winced and edged away from the noise, smoking quicker now as if to get it done with and run off.

"Hey idiot! The PARTAY'S downstairs, not up here in the cold!" shouted the yellow lizard lady, coming over and slapping Papyrus on the back with a sharp toothed grin.

"Y-yeah, you should come dance with us, Papyrus," smiled the last of the trio, unsteadily walking up to join them. You watched as the stunning blue woman, with fiery red hair and a black, dotted maxi dress, joined the group.

There was a wolf-whistle from one of the men off in the corner. The reaction was instantaneous.

The sound of metal on metal rang out as the lizard woman drew out two, gigantic axes, seemingly from thin air, and turned to the man with a snarling smile. The little skeleton looked equally miffed with the man and was stalking over, probably to tell them off, and the blue woman was following on, looking very nervous but faintly irritated.

Papyrus had face palmed but was sending the man a bit of a dirty look too. You sidled back next to him as the group surrounded a shiny faced youth who looked like he was about to get a serious life lesson handed to his ass. Hopefully in the form of an axe.

"I like your friends' style," you murmured, watching the unfolding drama with something akin to glee.

Papyrus snorted, rubbing at his brow.

"damn, i need another smoke before going back in there with them," he murmured, gaze intent on the human as the little skeleton wagged a finger in his face, at least until the lizard woman took over the berating.

You grinned at Papyrus, catching his gaze, and took a prolonged drag of your cigarette, meeting his eyes the whole time. He watched silently until you were done.

"tease," he complained but he didn't sound upset. Instead he leaned over and gently took your left hand in his, bringing it up to his face with a soft but confident smile. Your eyes widened and your hand fell limp as he- as he took your cigarette in his teeth and nicked your bloody smoke!He dropped your hand and waggled his brow at you, taking a deep drag of the cigarette and letting the smoke curl out of his mouth.

"Bastard," you grumbled and glared as he put out the used up cigarette. Papyrus shrugged and sent you a wink which you rolled your eyes at. You couldn't hide the smile curling at your lips though.

"see ya, hon," he grinned, turning away and strolling over to his friends. You chuckled softly as he picked up the little incensed skeleton and tucked him under one arm while swinging his other arm around the lizard lady and guiding her away from the damp, quivering remains of the catcalling man.

You sighed to yourself and forced a smile onto your lips, trying to get rid of the feeling of disappointment curling in your belly as Papyrus vanished from sight.

You took one last look out at the city, eyes trailing over the constellations of street lamps and shooting stars of car headlights, before turning away. You should probably get going. You were far too sober for this place, and it was fricking freezing. You shivered and put your hand in your pocket, only to let out a startled yelp as your left hand spasmed and jerked.

"What the-?!"

You carefully pulled out the perpetrator from your pocket and stared incredulously at the hand buzzer. Wrapped around it was a phone number.