Fandom: Blue Exorcist / 青の祓魔師

Summary: His friends were all dead, and Rin refused to leave it at that. They deserved more, they deserved to live, they deserved so many things that Rin had taken away from them. He was so selfish to think that he could be there with them and their happy ending. But that was okay. He was going to make everything right again.

Warnings: Adult language

2. Trust Must Be Earned Through Your Actions

"Alright, so what I tell you right now does not leave this place. Like, at all," The older boy glared at Rin, almost daring him to protest.

After a few heart-stopping moments where he thought that the totally-dead-but-somehow-still-alive-guy was going to murder him and scatter his remains all over Japan, the two relocated to a dead-end alley not too far from the park that the other boy had almost destroyed. A large amount of confusion, screaming, and on his part, some tears (though he would deny them for all of eternity), no doubt attracted a lot of attention, which prompted the other boy to find somewhere else to talk. Because no one simply fell hundreds of meters from the sky and lived, and Rin refused to let it go. Hence why they were talking to each other at all.

The other's tail was lashing furiously and Rin felt a little bad. Just a bit.

The concrete floors were grimy and the brick walls had seen better days, but neither male felt the urge to voice a complaint about the conditions. The smell left something to be desired, but this was where Rin had grown up, in the poorer areas of the city. And while the other boy certainly looked the part of a guy who'd grown up in these parts (old shirt, dirty pants, smelly hair), he didn't seem as 'at home' as Rin felt. This lent Rin some confidence while facing against the apparent zombie; he had the home field advantage.

Shame that the zombie wasn't as cool as Rin thought he would be.

"I dunno why I gotta keep secrets for you, Poodle-chan," Rin frowned, but it was instantly lifted when the other boy fumed at him.

"Chan?! No no no, you're mistaken," he laughed and took in a shaky breath. "First of all, my name isn't Poodle, and you definitely aren't gonna use as chan, you brat."

"If you're gonna call me a brat, I'm gonna call you Poodle-chan!"

"I will strangle you!" Rin laughed at the threat and ran to the entrance of the dead-end alley that they'd been talking in. He didn't get very far though. The older boy was surprisingly fast with his hands, much faster than he'd anticipated.

"Fine, fine! Le' go, you're chokin' me!" He'd grabbed him by the scruff of his hoodie and was holding him up from there. Rin kicked around as he felt his windpipe bend from the pressure, but even with his dramatics, the older boy did nothing but laugh at his misfortune.

"Pfft, you're fine. You're a lot stronger than any of the other kids out there. Now," he turned the boy to face him and gave him a shit-eating grin, "what's my name, brat?"

"Zombie-san! Zombie-san!" Rin took that opportunity to kick the other boy in the chest and forced him to let go. The zombie let go and grabbed his chest in surprise while Rin fell to his hands and knees and gulped down air, his eyes slightly watery from involuntary tears. He rubbed at his abused neck, relieved to find that it didn't sting at the touch. "You coulda killed me!" he pointed an accusing finger at his would-be murderer.

"You were fine, idiot! Damn, you kick hard!" the other wheezed and sat down on the grimy floor with a thud. He looked straight at him from where he was almost curled up. "And for the record, I'm no zombie. I'm human."

"Yeah right!" Rin sniffed. "No human has a tail, and they totally woulda died from that fall."

The other boy drew back as though he'd been burned by the words, but there wasn't much time to feel victory at getting under the other kid's skin before he shot off another retort. "Jus' cause I got a tail doesn't mean I ain't human, brat!"

"It totally does," he mumbled, but the older kid didn't dignify it with a response.

The silence between them stretched uncomfortably, now that they weren't arguing. "So, uh, what is your name?"

"O-oh, uhh it's..." The other boy looked around wildly until his eyes landed on something behind him. "T-Taro! Yeah, my name's Taro." He rubbed the back of his head and laughed nervously, eyes wide. Rin narrowed his eyes at him. 'Liar.'

"Okay," he dragged out, "what's your surname, 'Taro'?"

'Taro' glared at the younger boy. "That's Taro-san, to you, kid. And I don't need to tell you shit about my surname," he crossed his arms and glared straight at Rin, almost like he was challenging the other to do something about it.

'Well I'm not that big of an idiot, idiot.'

Rin just snorted a little and refused to rise up to the challenge. He knew that Taro was a lot stronger than he was. 'Maybe later,' he thought privately. "Whatever. What about your super secret secrets, Taro?" he dragged out the 'a' in the name the boy gave him.

"Uh, right, that." Taro scowled at the brick wall perpendicular to the wall he sat against. He seemed to make up his mind about something and sighed loudly, scratching the back of his head again. "Ah, man, this might sound super fake to you, y'know? But, I'll tell you. I'll tell you, but you gotta swear," Taro jabbed a finger at Rin, "not to tell anyone. Not your brother, not your dad, nobody."

Rin waved a hand impatiently. "Okay, whatever, just tell me."

"No way, kid, I said you gotta swear."

Rin sighed and rolled his eyes. "I won't tell. Good enough?"

Taro just scowled at him like he knew what Rin was doing. "Say that you promise never to tell unless I say it's okay."

Rin glared at Taro, and Taro glared back. Taro knew about Rin and promises, somehow.

Rin may have had a reputation for getting into fights for little to no reason, but they were always fights he could win. The bullies never stood a chance against him one on one, and he could almost always beat them even when the odds were against him. But Taro wasn't like the school bullies; he was a hell of a lot stronger than they could ever be and wasn't someone Rin could beat easily, if at all. It set him on edge as he realized that he was looking at a predator, not prey. And if didn't watch out, he might end up prey too.

Rin played it safe. "Why do I even have to listen to what you gotta say?" He crossed his arms and broke his gaze from the other. "I could just go home and never see you again."

"You wanna protect Yukio, right?"

His head immediately snapped up and he glared at the teen, "Wha' do you know about Yukio?!" he growled. "Why do you know anything about my brother? You a stalker or somethin'?"

"No, shut up," he gave Rin a flat glare. "God, you're annoying to deal with. I'm trying to help you out, idiot!"

"Hey, you're the idiot! You really think I'm gonna promise you something just 'cause you asked?"

"I kinda did," he heard the other kid grumble. "Whatever. Look, you gotta trust me when I say that I'm just trying to look out for Yukio 'n you. I know you can tell if I'm lyin' or not. So go ahead, am I lyin' when I say that 'm lookin' out for both of ya?"

Rin peered at the other boy, arms still crossed and frown set firmly on his face. Taro wasn't lying at all. It looked like that he really did want to help out Rin and his twin. But that still left the reason why. No one helps out someone else just to help out, unless they were just that nice. But all this trouble, trying to get Rin to trust him enough to make a promise? "What do you get out of this?" he growled.

Taro looked like he wanted to sag in relief. He kept his face serious as he said, "There's some stuff that's gonna happen to you guys in a few years. I wanna at least make it a little easier on you guys when shit really starts to hit the fan. 'Cause when it happens, it'll snowball into something way bigger, and a lot of people are gonna get hurt."

'Not lying,' he grudgingly admitted to himself, 'but he's not telling me everything.' He uncrossed his arms and opened up his expression a little more. "You're not tellin' me everything, but I guess you're savin' it 'till I promise not to tell?"

"Yep," the other boy popped the 'p' and smirked slightly, but quickly schooled his features into something more professional. "I really need you to do this though, Rin-kun," there was a crease in his brows as he said this, but Rin decided that it was because of the effort of having to call him by his actual name rather than 'brat' or some other name. "You wanna keep Yukio safe, and I wanna help you do that. I just need you to promise that you won't tell anyone 'till I say so."

What he was asking for was trust, and people at the church always said that Rin trusted too easily. But this was different. Taro wasn't just anyone, he was a boy that fell hundreds of feet into the concrete of a park and lived. Without needing any medical assistance or coming away with any life-threatening injuries. He didn't want to get on this superhuman's bad side, that was certain. But there seemed to be no way of avoiding the promise, and Yukio always came first, no matter what.

"Fine. I promise that I won't say anything to anyone but you when it comes to whatever you're gonna tell me." Rin felt a shiver go down his spine and he saw the other boy grin, but it wasn't all that malicious. 'At least, I hope that's not an evil grin.'

"Alright!" Taro clapped his hands and smiled, "Time to do what I came here to do! So, I'm from the future, and the future has pretty much gone to shit. We gotta stop it."

"... What?"

Rin pushed the younger boy to go back home. It was really starting to get late, and if he remembered correctly, he didn't start staying out this late until he was a little older. No doubt the old man and the others were worried about the kid, so he made sure that he got home quickly.

'Shiro...' Rin's will almost broke at the thought of his father. The temptation to go see him, alive and well, was almost too great. It would be so easy to just hide in the shadows or on top of a building and watch his younger self as he was received by his family. He'd be able to see the man who'd raised him, the one that his biological father had ripped from his life, and no one would be the wiser. Except, maybe, the old man himself.

Shiro Fujimoto was the Paladin when he was alive, the top exorcist appointed by the Vatican. And Rin was a demon now.

Before they'd parted ways, Rin managed to get his younger self to at least give him a chance when he said he'd come from the future. He dodged the 'How?' question as best he could, and only gave vague answers when the younger Rin started to ask how he knew him. He wasn't as good at this as his brother was. He was always smarter than him, always good at foreseeing consequences, always so rational-

He sighed and looked up at the sky from where he was leaning on the wall. He hadn't intended to go this far back (hadn't he?), just far enough to stop the battles, or help out with the planning now that he knew when and where the Hell's armies would move. But that timeless void had messed with his mind to the point where, for a few moments, he'd forgotten what he was doing and why he was there. And even if he wanted to try and travel the rivers of time again, he had no clue as to how he'd done it the first time, nor how he managed to escape its void. He doubted he had the strength or stamina to use his flames properly.

His thoughts turned to the future he'd left behind. Would the Satan of that time follow him here? Could he? Would the King of Time be able, or willing, to stop the god of demons? Was there even a future anymore now that he was there, or had it faded away now that he'd influenced change?

He was beginning to find some truth in the how he was often berated for his rash decision-making. This wasn't an ideal situation. He'd intended to take the place of the Rin in the present, but he'd lost consciousness and couldn't will himself to become the Rin of the present. Not only that, but this Rin was only 12 years old, whereas he himself was 17. He had no clue what absorbing him now would do, now that he was a separate entity. He wasn't even sure if he could. His head was still pounding in time with his heartbeat and the wetness around his nose and ears was still too fresh. Even if he were at full strength, he didn't know if it'd be right to take this Rin's place.

'I shoulda gone back farther.' The thought came unbidden, and something dark welled up in his chest. He pushed it down. There was no time.

The sun was setting, his younger self was home, and he needed to find a place to bed down for the night. Already, his mind recalled many safe places that he'd found in his youth ('I'm only 17') and in times of distress; there were times that they had to be used as bolt holes when he couldn't make it back before sundown. They only offered minimal protection, but it was enough to last through most nights. He walked towards them slowly, he kept an arm around his chest (where the younger Rin had kicked him none too gently) and another on the brick wall. His body was sore and warm, the flames he had left working double-time to heal whatever injuries he'd sustained from, not only his fall, but from the other plane of existence as well. He was sure that a few of his ribs were cracked, if not broken, and maybe some muscles suffered damage, but the healing would have to wait. He suppressed his flames; they were taking away energy that he desperately needed to find somewhere to rest. The dead-end alley could work, but he'd have to change it up a bit so that the rain and wind wouldn't bother him too much. So he'd have to stay somewhere else for the night.

He avoided busy roads and places that exorcists frequented. They would instantly be able to recognize him as a demon by his tail alone, which he had out for the comfort of having the much-needed balance and so that it wouldn't have to stay wrapped around his sore chest. His less damning pointed ears and sharper canines had only gotten longer with time, and he wasn't sure if he could pass them off as birth defects anymore. Even without the tail, it would probably be best to lay low.

He walked further into the slums and less savory parts of the city. Most of the walls were tagged with something or other, and the few people that were still outside were either homeless or nearly poor enough to be. There were a few people that spared him a pitying glance or two as he practically limped around as normally as he could, but he didn't mind much. They didn't matter at all, and the prickling he felt on his skin from their gazes only made him want to walk faster, so it was fine. He turned the corner of a wall and further into a smaller alleyway, another dead end if he remembered correctly.

Another, less than kind homeless man, looked like he wanted to start something. Behind him, he could see what was probably his living arrangements. But wasn't in the mood for a territorial dispute, and Rin hissed at him, teeth bared and eyes narrow. The man backed away immediately, plainly disturbed, and Rin continued on his way, offering the man a grin that he was sure was not all that friendly. 'Teach him to fuck with me,' was the only thought he had about the man before he resumed his painstakingly slow journey.

He was able to make it to a literal hole in the wall that he'd found when he was a bit younger than the Rin of this time. It was dirty and full of rotting plant matter and garbage, but there was just enough room to fit Rin's sore body inside. It was far away enough from the spooked man's place, he couldn't even see it from there, so it was good enough.

The stone scratched at his exposed arms and ankles, not as welcoming as he remembered, but it would have to do. He let his flames do their work of repairing his body, and the exhaustion settled over him like a dark blanket. He crawled as deep into the circular indent in the concrete wall as he dared and curled up, tail wrapping around him instinctively, its dark tuft of scraggly fur serving as a makeshift pillow. The night would be cold, but he was sure that the heat of his fire would keep him comfortable.

'Soon as I wake up, 'm gonna come up with a plan,' he promised himself before he let sleep take him.

He wasn't able to come up with a plan.

"Plans are lame, anyway!" he yelled at no one. His tail thrashed behind him as he made his way back to the alleyway. It was Saturday morning, so he didn't have to worry about a large crowd to wade through. A lot of people were still working and wouldn't be let out until afternoon, so he had no problem letting his tail out for all the people with mashous to see. Not that there were any, judging by the fact that no one had started to freak out or obnoxiously point at the appendage.

As he neared the park, his stomach gave a pitiful growl. "Oh shit, I'm hungry," Rin mumbled, surprised. He'd seen some food places on the way there, on the main roads that he chose to take now that his injuries were mostly healed, so it wouldn't take too long to grab a bite and return. But then there was the issue of money...

"I could... get a job?" The closest success he'd had with a job was a few years ago now. His attempt to join the workforce had been thwarted by a demon, so he could potentially land a job if he played his cards right, given that there were no demons around to stop him. But was it really worth the effort?

An easier solution came to him in the form of a flyer smacking him in the face. He nearly burnt it to a crisp for interrupting his line of thought before he read the words on the offending paper. "Help wanted, cook for a restaurant chain?"

'Too good to be true,' was his first thought. His second was, 'I'll probably fuck it up, anyway.' His third: 'Cooking's the only thing I do right, right?'

He shredded the paper as soon as he recognized the thought. There was no time to find a job, no way to get one now that he didn't exist according to the government (or that he was twelve years old, but it was easier to just say he didn't exist). He wasn't sure he could even bear it. Either he would be kicked from the position or he'd be able to keep a steady job, and he wasn't sure which one was worse. Better to just not try.

He needed a plan. He admitted that he didn't really have anything to work with beyond 'get to the past, change things.' Granted, he planned to get back later in his life and merge with the Rin of that time, but he couldn't do that now. It was too risky to try again and so soon, and he wasn't sure how he'd even go forwards.

'I need the clown,' he thought distantly, but it was just a wish. The Mephisto of this time wasn't the same demon he knew five years in the future. He never really knew what the silver-tongued demon wanted, but he was reasonably sure that whatever plans he had in mind wouldn't end up with his body six feet under. This Mephisto was more unpredictable. He wasn't Rin now, he couldn't reveal his hand as a wielder of hellfire just yet.

That was assuming that this Mephisto didn't already know about his manipulation of time.

In the end, he couldn't ignore the longing for home.

He watched the church from high up on one of the buildings. It was exactly the way he remembered it and exactly what he was thinking about not doing the night before, and he waited for the Shiro of this time (not dad, not mine) to show up with a glare on his face and a gun in his hand. Though, he wouldn't notice Rin unless Rin had some sort of demonic tell, right?

He rolled back onto the roof he was peeking from and stared at the sky. Did Rin have some sort of evidence of his demonic presence? He knew Astaroth did, the Coal Tars and evidence of rot everywhere were proof enough of his status as the King of Rot. However, he didn't notice anything like that from Mephisto or Amaimon. But they also didn't have as drastic of a demonic appearance as Astaroth did on that day nearly two years ago. How would the Kings of Earth and Time and Space even show themselves?

He promptly smacked his hand on his forehead. "Flames, idiot," he said aloud. Satan's unholy fire was to him as rot was to Astaroth. Whatever Amaimon and Mephisto had was probably suppressed with their more human appearance, like him with his flames.

He continued to stare at the clouds in the sky. "What am I doing?" he asked himself. He'd come back to change things, but how would he go about that? Yukio said that he'd been training to become an exorcist since he was seven, so there was no way of getting him out of it now. This Rin still didn't have access to his flames, so there was nothing he could do there. He couldn't go to any of his old friends, they were still growing up and living their lives. Even though all his friends were alive, Rin was alone.

(Alone alone alone like the empty hallways the rotting streets the silence of the world it was so quiet)

A noise, voices from below, knocked Rin from his thoughts. He peeked over the edge of the building to investigate and saw the Rin of this time arguing about something to whoever was inside the church building. He said his piece and walked away without closing the door. 'What a brat,' Rin thought with no small amount of shame.

So Rin shadowed him from the rooftops. Watching the boy, his younger self, and the way he walked the world was an interesting experience. The younger Rin walked slowly and with his head down, and his eyes seemed to trace the cracks in the floor he walked on. His face was set in a neutral frown, just enough so he didn't look like a guy to be messed with, but also wasn't looking for any fights. Well, a kid that wasn't to be messed with. The baby fat that still clung to his cheeks ruined the effect somewhat, but it wasn't as though the younger Rin couldn't hold his own in a fight if it ever came down to it. Rin remembered how strong he was compared to everyone, remembered the force that he had in his muscles and how they could crack bone since he was five. He remembered the struggle he had to go through to keep that force from hurting anyone.

It was something he enjoyed about fighting demons. He didn't have to hold back when it came to the beings of Gehenna. Humans were fragile, the lightest tap sent them rushing to the hospital and cursing his name. He'd learned to keep his strikes soft with the bullies and with the assholes that enjoyed making the lives of others miserable. It was hard, but he managed. Managed it so well that at some point, he forgot that he held back his strength at all.

He wondered if this Rin would like something to fight that wouldn't break as soon as he touched it.

The boy made a beeline to the park which, to Rin's chagrin, still had a ring of shattered concrete right in front of the swing set from his fall. He spared the crater a glance and continued on his way to the alley where they'd last seen each other.

'He wants to talk, huh?' He could always choose not to show up. His injuries hadn't fully healed yet, he hadn't allowed them to, so it wasn't as though he didn't have an excuse for not wanting to show himself.

The real reason was that he didn't know what to say to him. He didn't really know what to do now that he was in the past. Yukio was already training to be an exorcist, maybe he'd already gotten his first meister, so there was no way to spare him from that. This Rin had no clue about demons, he could tell by the way Coal Tars floated by his face and he didn't even twitch. Interesting that he could see his tail though. Maybe because they were the same person.

He frowned, but an idea started to form in his mind. Nothing solid, nothing definite, but something that he felt Shura might've encouraged him to do.

Though he couldn't see demons, that didn't change the fact that this Rin was the son of Satan. They'd both given Yukio his mashou and damned him to a life of exorcists demons. Eventually, they led their brother to his death, would lead him to his death. They both needed to take responsibility for him, as the demon that forced this life upon him and as the big brother who acted more like the younger brother for all his life. They would both save Yukio and their friends, and then everyone would finally get their happy ending.

His mind was made up. Rin jumped off the rooftop and landed in front of his younger self, who'd been standing around waiting for about a minute. Rin ignored his cry of surprise and stalked towards him, a smirk gracing his features.

He just decided to get straight to the point. "So, you wanna protect Yukio, right?" His hand shot forwards and grabbed the younger boy's arm. He allowed the nails on his right hand to grow and sharpen, and poised his clawed index finger above the other boy's wrist, seemingly oblivious to the boy's struggles against his firm grip.

"First, you gotta be able to see what you're up against."

i Բiทαℓℓy Բiทiઽђ૯đ вષ૨yiทg ઝѳท૯ઝѳʍα૨ષ. ђαℓԲ ђiઽ Բα૮૯ ખαઽ gѳท૯ ખђ૯ท i Բѳષทđ ђiʍ, αทđ α ℓѳƬ ѳԲ ઽђiƬ αℓ૨૯αđy ઽƬα૨Ƭ૯đ Ƭѳ ૯αƬ ђiઽ вѳđy. i Ƭѳѳઝ ૮α૨૯ ѳԲ Ƭђѳઽ૯ ℓiƬƬℓ૯ ઽђiƬઽ ρ૨૯ƬƬy ૯αઽy. ૯√૯૨yƬђiทg вષ૨ทઽ ૨૯αℓℓy ૯αઽy ทѳખαđαyઽ.

૯√૯૨yѳท૯'ઽ Ƭѳg૯Ƭђ૯૨ ทѳખ. αℓℓ ʍy Բ૨i૯ทđઽ α૨૯ ૨૯ઽƬiทg вy ૯α૮ђ ѳƬђ૯૨. i ખѳષℓđ ρષƬ Ƭђ૯ʍ ખђ૯૨૯ ʍy ѳℓđ ʍαท ђαઽ в૯૯ท ทαρρiทg, вષƬ Ƭђ૯૨૯'ઽ ทѳ ઽρα૮૯ ท૯×Ƭ Ƭѳ ђiʍ. ૮αท'Ƭ ʍѳ√૯ ђiʍ ૯iƬђ૯૨, ђ૯'đ jષઽƬ ઽʍα૮ઝ ʍ૯ α૨ѳષทđ Բѳ૨ Ƭ૨yiทg.

i'ℓℓ jѳiท Ƭђ૯ʍ ઽѳѳท ૯ทѳષgђ. i'ʍ ρ૨૯ƬƬy Ƭi૨૯đ ʍyઽ૯ℓԲ.

ーᴇxᴄᴇʀᴘᴛ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴊᴏᴜʀɴᴀʟ ᴏꜰ Oᴋᴜᴍᴜʀᴀ Rɪɴ, Dᴇᴄ. 2ɴᴅ, 2010

I got the name 'Taro' from a Japanese snack called Kyabetsu Taro. I literally just searched up the names of Japanese candies and stuff on Wikipedia and that was one of the results that came up. According to the (super tiny) article, 'Taro' is also a common male name in Japan. So: Rin's looking for a name, Rin spots a Kyabestu Taro bag behind his baby-self, Rin uses Taro as his undercover name. Brilliant.