What if more went on in at the Notch? More than just mostly sleeping?

"Control."

Cal's words are soft and introspective as much as they are meant for me. Control is what he's practiced his entire life. He's learned it with hard lessons and through childish tantrums. He cultivated reserves of control before he ever took command of a single soldier. Cal's calm statement steadies me.

Control was less the focus of my upbringing, only so much as to continue my survival. Patience and opportunity kept me in trinkets for trade. Regardless of Cal's measured approach, my patience has been the backdrop of our nights.

In the Stilts, kids coupled almost at random in the count down to conscription. It makes me wonder if Shade discovered his ability on one of his many escapes from jilted girls. But Cal seems less aware of the mechanics than I expected. His roaming nights in common places didn't afford him the same education.

For all his hurt, he seeks solace as much as I do in our close proximity, the implicit understanding unspoken and mostly just for comfort. Mostly, we sleep. Mostly because I am tired and he is tired and both of us have worries we can't evaporate out of our heads. But when it's not mostly, when it's rarely, I fear he's going to light me on fire and that I'll shock him to dust.

Which is probably why he mutters, "Control," against my neck. He is on top of me, his elbows indenting the mat below us and his hips rolling to a stop. His weight shifts onto my legs so his hand can stroke my face. His fingers singed the small hairs on my cheek and he closes his fist to protect me.

Control doesn't end the want in my core. Control doesn't ease the ache that shuffles my hips against his. Control won't satiate what we've built up in the rare nights which weren't apart of "mostly". I'm tired of control. I'm tired of the effort. While he relaxes and talks himself down, I use my lips to wind him back up. The creases in his skin give my tongue a path. The heat of him chases the layers off. He stalls again, the word on his lips but not in the air. I smother the sound with my lips and drag sparks into the flesh of his back. He jerks and loses himself for the thirty seconds I need to think of my retort.

"Give in." I push and his shirt is up to his armpits.

"Let go." I rake his pants down with my foot.

"Don't stop," I beg him with my words, with my lips, with my hands on parts of him I'm certain no one has ever touched.

"Mare…" My name has never sounded so much like a prayer, a call for relief.

"Love me."

"I do. I love you," he confirms, and then he blushes. Silver rushes from the shallow skin of his chest up his neck and to his cheeks. When he closes his eyes it feels like the lights in the room aren't enough.

"What's the matter, Cal?" I keep a tease in my tone. He needs to know it's okay. I'm okay with our pace. Every hormone in my body isn't but I am.

I'm aware of every inch of him resting against me in complete stillness, more so, I can still feel the heat and the heavy desire that we cultivated together. We've never made it this far before, never to the point of being completely naked with each other. I'm not surprised that he stops, that he collects himself, that the next move he'll make is to slide to the side and collect his clothes before they can cool.

"I've never." He licked his lips and his eyes stay closed to avoid my reaction.

"I know. It's okay."

"That obvious?" His embarrassed chuckle earns him a kiss from me. He slides back into the push of my lips and one second blends to the next each one preparing me for the eventual separation.

Parts of him slide purposefully down and I hear, "Control," one more time, only this time it doesn't mean stop. It doesn't mean distract. It means purpose and pleasure and two people combined with intent. No one has ever snuck into me with as much affection or care. The warrior can be sentimental. A soldier can be a lover. And control can mean careful abandon.

New to this book series, but I like writing the alternative scenes, alternative points of view. Hope you like these little looks. Pop a comment in the reviews, PM me, land remember to follow because there will be more. Also taking suggestions for scenes.