Mycroft had talked long into the afternoon, leaving on the crux of twilight. The sky outside the hospital room was indigo and pink, splashed with orange. Sherlock stared moodily out of the small window set into the prefabricated NHS wall and let a small sigh escape him. Taking out his new phone, he sent a text to John that said

'Need air, back soon'

John didn't really think much of it, nodding and telling Sherlock not to be too long.

'I'll only be an hour' came the response. The detective shoved his phone back into his pockets, threw a scarf around his neck and slouched out of the room. Leaving John alone with his thoughts and the daily crossword.

True to his word, Sherlock came back to see John on the hour. The sky had shifted from brooding colours to inky darkness, stars winking jovially as the half moon gilded silver edges onto everything.

Sherlock seemed troubled.

'What's eating you?' John asked, trying to broach the subject as cheerily as he could.

Out came the phone, and Sherlock typed a quick message

'I've seen Connie…'

'What, is she here in the hospital?'

'Yeah, doctors told me she tried to kill herself while the police had her detained'

'Oh, I'm sorry'

Sherlock hesitated for a second before typing something and pressing send with a shaking thumb

'Don't be sorry. Part of me hoped she succeeded'

John had no words, nothing he could say would make Sherlock feel better. Instead he handed him the crossword and said

'I cant figure out was eleven across is'

A wry little smile passed over Sherlock's face as he took the pen and newspaper from John, immediately filling in the answer

'Know it all' John grinned. Sherlock smiled too, but then something passed over him, like a shadow. He was deliberating, his mind no doubt full of tumultuous thoughts. John could see there was something he wanted desperately to convey. As Sherlock put down the newspaper on the side table beside the visitors chair, John asked

'What is it? Did I do something wrong?'

Sherlock shook his head quickly, a horrified guilty expression clouding his face. He had made John feel bad, his only friend and he had made him feel bad…

Watching the pained expression creep back onto Sherlock's face, John took a stab in the dark and asked

'Sherlock… is there something you want to… say?'

A frantic nod from the detective both rocked John to the core and made his heart leap.

'Do you want Mycroft? I can call him if you need him'

The detective shook his head and pointed at John, pulling out his phone he typed

'It wants to come out, but can I let it. I found it John but she's winning'

'You cant let her win' said John firmly 'You have to do what you feel is right, but Connie doesn't control you and she never did'

Another text reached John's phone

'She raped me John'

'Sherlock, I'm so sorry…' murmured his friend 'All I can offer you is my unwavering support'

The detective nodded, clearly trying not to cry

'They got Moriarty too' came another text

'That's good isn't it? He'll be punished accordingly by the law' John said, hoping Sherlock wouldn't take it badly. To his surprise his friend was nodding and had a tiny little smile on his face

'Sherlock… you said before that you were looking for something' John began, struggling to find the right thing to say 'Well, what I mean is… did you find it in the end? And uh… what was it you were looking for?'

Sherlock nodded, tears shining in his eyes and handed the newspaper back to him. In Sherlock's neat handwriting was the answer to eleven across

'Absolution'

'You found closure…' whispered John 'Good… very good'

He couldn't think of anything else to say, so just stared at the page until his phone beeped again

'Not just that'

Looking up at Sherlock, John shot him a confused look and Sherlock smiled innocently

'There was something else?'

Sherlock nodded and nervously fiddled with his scarf, eventually training his laser beam stare on John

'So uh… what else did you find? Muttered John

'A friend' whispered Sherlock.