A/N: First, this fic is not written by me, but by my sister. I am merely posting it on her behalf, after a great deal of persuading and not-so-patient waiting. Second, neither of us owns any of the characters except for Rill. To the best of my knowledge, all copyrights are owned by Square Enix. Third, this fic was originally inspired by a marvelously funny list created by a fellow called Thornescratch, "229 Things Sephiroth Never Thought He'd Say On The Phone" and its companion works, "111 Messages Left on Tseng's Answering Machine", "101 Memos From Rufus Shinra's Desk" and finally "48 Letters Cloud Never Wrote Home". Basically, my sister read those lists and asked herself "Who cleans up after these guys, anyway?" This story slowly developed from that original thought. Enjoy!

Rill was many things. Calm to the point of madness, capable beyond imagination, and enough of a threat to make even the most unruly of Shinra Corporation's military forces heed her.

No one knew where she had come from, just that she had only been working for Shinra Electric Power Co. for a grand total of two weeks before acquiring a position as Sephiroth's secretary. The last one had quit in a seething fit after finding termites in her desk. Termites who didn't mind if they ate wood or cotton or synthetic fabric or metal...

This is what I have to work with...Nerilka smiled to herself, eyes flashing behind largely decorative glasses as she mentally rolled up her sleeves. The Planet has high hopes for you, Sephiroth, Zack...Let's see if there's any substance behind the madness.

Nerilka 'Rill' Thomas was a young woman with pale skin, deep, vividly blue eyes and dark mahogany brown hair. She was capable of putting on a professional mask so flawless that hardly anyone would remember her if they saw her outside of work. Just as she wished.

She didn't like this company. But she had been told, whispered from a girl that she called friend and kin that there would be something she could do to change the world, hopefully for the better, if she chose to work there. Trusting Aeris, Rill took the interview and landed herself a secretarial job in a matter of minutes.

"Excuse me, sir?" She asked Reeve, the current director of Human Resources as a black haired man was escorted away from his office where there was now a gaping hole on the wall. "Was that a staged event as part of the interview, or is that what life is really like here?" She asked with such an innocuously polite tone that Reeve couldn't help but stare.

This woman is an angel sent from heaven... He concluded. Nothing less could guilt trip Zack so completely...

"After seeing that, Miss Thomas, do you still wish to work here?" She gave him a smile that sparkled with genuine amusement.

"I certainly do, Mr Tuesti. I shall at least never be bored. Or, if I am, I will know that something is wrong."

The simple life of a penpusher was hardly ever interrupted save by the occasional explosion or man racing through the halls screaming with laughter.

"I am new here." Rill started, gazing mildly at the ceiling. "But I presume that Jello dripping from the ducts is not a good sign?" The others in the room with her groaned.

"Everything always goes to hell around here whenever a platoon gets their Mako shots." One woman sighed. "You get used to it."

"It is not conducive to productivity." The new secretary said in a firm tone. "Generally, where would I go to find the culprit of such an act?"

"Um...either the detention area, or wherever the loudest fight is." The answer had hardly been given before Rill had risen and strode smartly from the room. All the work she had been given was sorted and completed to the best of her ability on the desk.

"Is this the manner in which SOLDIER of Shinra conduct themselves?" Rill asked crisply of the roomful of half-dressed, shamefaced men. She cast a disapproving eye over them, partly aware of her aura making the temperature in the room seem to drop. "They are so powerful and capable before any beast or enemy, and they are routinely made into clowns and fools by something so simple as a needle." Her voice cracked like a whip, driving the humiliation home.

"There are hundreds of children all over the world who dream of joining SOLDIER for the reputation you and your fellows have earned on the battlefield. How do you think they would react to find their heroes in a situation like this?" The men hadn't received this sort of lecture since they had left their mother's sides. After the ranting and commands of the drill sergeant, this tiny slip of a woman and her chastising words were somehow turning over a dozen strong, combat proven, tattooed and well muscled men into boys caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

"Beg your pardon, ma'am..." One SOLDIER dipped his head towards her in a hasty bob. "But the Mako shots give us a lotta energy and no real way to burn through it. And we don't always think things through like we should either..."

"And that should excuse the fact that you are grown men and should be more controlled than this?" Rill shot back at the speaker, arching an eyebrow. "Regardless of what you may think, it is still you who makes the choice to act out in this manner. Three floors have needed to be evacuated, and more than ten non-combat workers have been hospitalized as a result of your actions. If you will not hold yourself to standard, then the least that you can do is ensure no one else suffers as a consequence of your inability. Have I made my position clear, gentlemen?"

There came a soft chorus of assent from the guilty SOLDIER. With one final sweep of her eyes around the room, Nerilka exited the room.

Word spread after the first visit and it only took another two such instances of a five-foot-three woman utterly destroying the pride of Shinra's army before the 3rd and 2nd Class ranks all held a healthy amount of respect and admiration for the woman. The ultimate threat used by most superiors now was having someone inform Rill of your misbehavior.

Her ability to work unhindered had improved dramatically simply by forcing the SOLDIERs to take responsibility for their actions. Their overall record for trouble had dropped startlingly. If they caused a problem, they would help clean up the mess.

And it had only been one week since she started.

You are doing well. Aeris said, sounding amused.

How is making the company largely responsible for the Planet's agony more efficient 'doing well'? Rill's snippy comment merely made Aeris smile.

She loved her cousin. But… well, there was something to be said for staying in the loop. And Aeris was feeling a little too… romantic.

If you are using your extra sensory cognition to set me up with someone, I will tye-dye all of your clothing various shades of electric blue and yellow. Just a friendly warning. And she would do it in such a way that absolutely no one could connect it to her. Being the nice, goody-two shoes most of the time was an excellent way of avoiding suspicion.

Oh liven up, Rill. You might even have fun...?

Rill thought of the brief glimpse of the future she had been gifted with upon her pondering her potential love life.

A woman in a pink dress with long brown hair. She had been kneeling and praying, power pulsing around her like the memory of a mother's embrace.

Then there had been a sword through her chest and she was falling...

The flash had come and gone in an instant, but it had terrified Rill as a young teen to the point where she feigned obliviousness about most things akin to romance and personal connection. She stayed behind her polite facade most of the time. It had gotten to the point where her chances of removing the mask were few and far between...and when she did get them, it didn't always come off so easily.

"Rill!" One young clerk wailed, panting and bent double before her desk. "My accounts were off! We're missing almost a metric ton of sheet metal in base stocks!" She flipped through some papers...then a few more files...

"I think I've found your problem, Jensen." She said, turning her computer towards the panicking man and pointing. "It seems the latest batch of fresh cadets are trying to build themselves a helicopter while on their first Mako high. I've also had some people come to me trying to find spare chopper blades, a tank engine block and enough fuel to power a rocket into space and around the world three times." She picked up her phone, preparing herself mentally for the battle of persuading security to actually use their damn cameras.

Her thoughts were far less...polite than what she permitted to come out of her mouth.

Well, that was worse than usual. Rill thought mildly as she calmly pulled herself out from beneath her desk once the dust had settled. I was wondering why everything in Shinra was either under construction, or brand new... She moved around sedately, ensuring that everyone in her room was safe from harm. An announcement over the miraculously functional loudspeakers soon answered some questions and given her a point of focus around which to rage.

An explosion from Weapons Development had caused the ceiling to cave in overhead. Or so the announcer had explained. She could hear people in the background yelling and cursing and the name Scarlet was prominently mentioned.

Rill dusted off her neat business attire. I think I'll go slap that bit- She exhaled, pulling a handkerchief from her pocket to prevent dust from entering her lungs as she made her way to the stairs. Lodge a complaint. Personally. Hopefully where the sun don't shine, but that depends on how stupid she is being.

"You had no purpose in overcharging that device, Scarlet!" A man shouted furiously. "Testing is supposed to gather data! All you have managed to do is prove two things! First, that 40,000 volts is too much for those circuits, which is something we already knew, and second, that you have less than ten functioning brain cells!" Rill stood in the doorway, watching, her grip on a file she was holding growing tighter by the minute.

The large reinforced room was utterly wasted. There was dark soot covering everything and she saw that several men were working feverishly to evacuate some few souls who were still trapped beneath the rubble.

28 people injured. None dead, thank the Planet. But 28 people were injured, because this brainless excuse for a leech decided to try and show off! The young secretary tugged the sleeve of one of the men hurrying by. "Excuse me, could you direct me towards Madame Scarlett?" She inquired pleasantly. The worker gestured vaguely into the room as he rushed on, clearly angry as well. As she circled the edge of the room, she spotted a woman who could only be Scarlett given the outrageously colored dress she was wearing. An evening gown. During the day. For testing highly explosive weapons. How in Hades did this leech become the head of a department?

The man who was berating Scarlett was someone she recognized. Rufus Shinra himself was ripping into the woman for her carelessness. Figured it would be someone with a lot of weight in the company. Otherwise, she'd have the authority to fire them.

Rill walked serenely, head held high and her face expressionless.

"Vice President. I have the damage report that was requested." The young man was clearly all but boiling with fury. The sight was an unusual one as he took great pains to present a composed and rational, if rather sadistic, face to the public.

"Yes, thank you." Rufus muttered, eyeing a completely unrepentant Scarlett with burning dislike. Instead of setting it down, Rill retained it and opened it.

"This is the information that has been compiled thus far. Twenty-eight in total have been injured, seventeen of which will recover within the week with minor care. The rest require surgery. Three of those have been diagnosed as needing extensive prosthetics in order to maintain their quality of life." Rufus hissed.

"Who was injured? Do you have their names?" Rill didn't let herself look surprised, but she rattled off the names as requested, watching the man before her intently. He was only a couple years her senior, but he was already taking responsibility. Granted, his motives for doing so were for personal gain...but she could not fault his desires so long as what he did was good and supportive.

He nodded slightly as he listened.

"Compensation for their injuries needs to be arranged." Rill jotted down the notes in shorthand, writing quickly and easily.

He proceeded to give a brief but concise rundown of what was to be done to ensure the care of the injured, including that their families were to be informed of the mishap immediately. Scarlett was swaggering away. Rill cleared her throat softly and flicked her eyes towards Scarlett when he shot a look at her.

"Don't move, Scarlett." He growled, anger coloring his tone again. "I'm not through with you." The audacious woman batted her lashes in feigned interest.

"Is that so, little Rufus? Well, you see the President will be wanting to see me. I don't dare be late. Surely you wouldn't want me to cross your father, the head of this company...?" Rill could see where this was going and decided to step in, acting out a little more than usual.

"Actually, there is a matter that requires your immediate attention, madame." She said crisply and clearly, moving around the room to hold a sheet of paper before her. Rill knew a tiny bit of her aura was leaking out again. A subtle influence that drew the eye and made people pay attention to her regardless of how inconspicuous she was. Her gift wasn't as strong as Aeris's, but that suited her just fine.

The other woman looked at the paper dismissively.

"Oh?" She asked, sounding and looking bored.

Rill didn't let the smile that she so dearly wanted to show come to the surface.

"Indeed, madame. General consensus in the lower ranks has called for your head. More than three floors of employees will be unable to work due to this accident. Their union demands compensation." Silence reigned for a beat as Rill let her words sink in for a bit before continuing.

"Several very creative suggestions have been put forward in how you could make this right. Some of them...are more extreme than others. Fortunately, it has been put to vote, and you are offered the following:" Rill held up the sheet and recited it from memory.

"Madame Scarlett, head of the Department of Weapons Development of the Shinra Electric Company, must do one of the following. Either she must compensate half pay for all those who are for some reason or another unable to work as a result of her actions. Or, she must resign her position without delay." Rill indicated the signatures resting at the bottom of the document. "In case you are unaware, these are the signatures of the Committee of Public Safety chairman and his vice, the spokesman of the Worker's Union, and the leading surgeon and head nurse of the infirmary."

Beautiful silence reigned as Scarlett's face began to slowly darken, gradually matching her name in it's rage at the manipulation.

Covering the pay of three floors of workers would absorb her monthly salary and then some, even the ridiculously inflated amount she had secured for herself. It would either have to come out of her own pocket, or out of her programs budget. Both of which Scarlett coveted jealously. It would set back her ambitions on both accounts, significantly hamper her ability to cause similar disasters on the one hand, or curtail her money fueled social climbing on the other. Both of these were generally regarded as the most aggravating parts of her personality.

And of course...resigning from her position would lose her both her status, and her ability to earn money. And since she had charmingly stabbed most of the competition in the back on her climb upward, she would not last even a week before someone came to exact a little vengeance.

"What...what is this...!?" Scarlett hissed under her breath, eyes stabbing at Rill hatefully. "You want something...you want my job." Rill remained as smooth and emotionless as a piece of white slate.

"I am hardly qualified for such a lofty position with my limited education." The subtle barb was on target and the skin around Scarlet's eye tightened.

She wasn't qualified either. There were several rumors circulating as to just how Scarlett had gotten her position on the board of company executives. Apparently the one about her trading some...explicit favors was closer to the truth than most thought.

"They can yammer all all they want." Scarlett said, a nasty smirk on her face as she turned away. "They're a bunch of peasants compared to me in this company. They have no authority."

"Actually they do." Came a deep voice from the door. "Since the company's founding there has always been a Worker's Union and they are capable of ousting an executive provided they have the signatures of five spokespeople for the different groups within the company." This mild statement made Scarlett turn white with tension now. She glowered at Rill, her eyes like chips of blue ice. She was certain if Scarlett could be bothered to dirty her own hands with materia use, she would have been blasted into a greasy spot on the floor.

Now, the coup de grace... She thought, keeping her face professional and composed.

"I believe the saying "Don't shoot the messenger" accurately describes this situation, madame." She pushed the contract into the livid female's hands, pressing down with her aura a little to ensure that she wouldn't be assaulted by the furious woman.

For once, there was no way that Scarlett could wriggle out of this. Not without causing a company-wide strike. And no matter what her influence over the President, it clearly didn't extend to his son for one, and for another he didn't keep anything that wasn't useful. If she became a hinderance to his gaining a profit, Pres Shinra would be the first to throw her to the wolves. She would get no help from him. And she had exactly no friends or allies willing to back her after this fiasco.

What's more, Rill could not get any blowback for this in any way Scarlet could reach. The deadweight agreement hadn't been her idea. The desire for Scarlet to make good her mistake was very real amongst her peers. And she had been only transparently honest when she had alluded that some people wanted Scarlet to pay for it in pain. Fortunately, there were cooler heads who had drawn up this plan with only limited influence from Rill herself.

The red-clad woman was trapped and she knew it.

I do believe I have just made myself an enemy. Rill mused as she turned away from the woman, her gaze flicking back towards a stunned, but delighted Rufus.

"Will there be anything else, Mr Vice President?"

The blonde woman glowered at Rill for another long moment, various emotions pertaining to rage and frustration playing across her face. She turned and stormed out of the room.

There was utter silence for a minute after she left, then a man began to laugh uncontrollably. The same voice that had pointed out the validity of the Worker's Union. Something raced down Rill's spine. Neither good nor bad, but it was definitely a reaction.

Sephiroth.

The silver haired man was laughing, completely and wholeheartedly, bent almost double with mirth.

"Rufus-" Rill's brow twitched in surprise at the term. First name basis? Curious. "-where is this woman currently assigned? I want her. Anyone who can put Scarlett down like that has got what I need to curb the SOLDIERs!"

Within a day, Rill had been transferred out of finances and into SOLDIER, directly under General Sephiroth himself. She had anticipated that she would have to work her way up to a better position to interact with those whom the Planet had chosen and marked as special. This was either a tremendous burst of good fortune, an indication that she was doing something right, or it meant she was going to rejoin the Planet very soon.

If only I knew which...