ADDICT
Part 6 - ENABLER
R-M MATURE FOR EVERYTHING!

The conclusion to this short story. It's long I know, I'm sorry, I don't realize until uploaded it to my computer, after I wrote it. The longest chapter have ever written. But I didn't wanna break it into two chapters. Thank you all for showing love and support. And I feel like I connected with a few of you through your reviews of this story. I pay attention to all your words, and honestly, I love how his story, her story, their story, this story, affected you. I hope you enjoy the rollercoaster conclusion. It would mean a lot if you could review this final chapter! Y'all are dope!

...

Therapy session
...

"It's been three weeks, Doc."

"And how do you feel?"

"I don't know. Numb. I mean, career wise, life is good. But, personally, I think I've lost my very best friend. Christmas is in a couple of days. I don't know what I'm going to do."

"What's the goal you have for your life right now?"

"Isn't that something you should help me with?"

"No. I can't make your life decisions. But, I can help you to evaluate everything that you eventually use as the tools to make a decision."

"I don't want to be here."

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault."

"I just want to make sure we get to the bottom of your not wanting to be here."

"Somehow, the meaning in my life is gone. I'm here, I'm existing. But I'm not living."

"What's the difference between the two in your mind?"

"The difference is, I'm not serving a purpose. I wake up. I go to work. I come home, eat, and sleep."

"But...?"

"But, existing isn't living. It's surviving, without a reason."

"When the last time you really felt like you were living?"

"You know when." I paused, imaging the last time I felt alive. It was when we made love in my bedroom on the floor. "The last time I spent time with her."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"Not really. What can I say? I meant to tell her what happened between Rose and me. Every day that went by, and every hour that went by, it was harder and harder. I felt like I was suffocating. But, I'd rather have suffocated, than to hurt her. I'd rather, hurt myself, than hurt her."

"Those are extremely powerful words, Damon. Do you think, she wanted that for you? Suffocation."

"No. She'd actually hate the idea of me hurting myself, or me hurting in general. She's always very, open to wanting to be there for me. But... I shut her out and it kills me there was no other way. I didn't want to end up hurting her."

"But, you understand you did hurt her, right? You hurt her, by trying so hard not to."

"I'm a screw up. I can't... I don't know how to do this stuff, Doc. I would look at her, and want to be better. Then I try to be better and realize, that I'm just a regular guy and it's impossible to be the man she needs. I'm not worthy of her. No one is."

"That's not true. Sounds like she proved time and time again, you were who she wanted. Damon, you're past happens to get to you, and you start doubting yourself, because of... her. The one who hurt you all those years ago. I think, maybe, it's a good time to talk about her. Now that you feel at you're lowest, let's reach the memories buried deep down in there. Are you ready, Damon? To talk about the one who broke your heart?"

I look at my therapist for a while before answering. This will be the question of a century. Do I want to talk about her, and say good bye to her for good? Or, do I want to hold onto the memories and pain?

My therapist stares back at me, waiting for me to talk.

...

Friday - A month after the incident

...

I spent Christmas without her. It's okay, though, because I spent the day at the studio. Alone, finding some solace, in my art. Bonnie still has her routine. I see her come and go, often. I know she works, but she's leaving more often than before. I notice it. She knows I notice it. But she tries to be low key about it. It's one of those new qualities I have, that doesn't usually happen to me, and it's known as jealousy. Someone is getting her time, and it kills me.

A while ago, she agreed to a project for me, for a gallery. I do a lot of magazine spreads, but I also am an artist by way of freelance. I wanted some more human specimen works for my studio. Some still shots on the beach and some natural body photography. She agreed to this. She'll be here soon, and all I want is for it to be normal, between us.

A quiet knock at the front door sounds and I'm knocked out of my daydream. Just a month ago, she was walking in my backdoor like my best friend, and today we're back to being just neighbors. And not even the ones who speak every day. I'm nervous to see her though. What if she hates me? Or can't look me in the eye? I open the door to see her. She looks like a breath of fresh air. I feel like I can breathe again. "Bonnie, you look very pretty." She wore a powder pink dress. It was long and flowy, with thin straps, and backless. Her hair was all brushed to one side, in these big waves. What is she doing to me? She looks like a bronze goddess.

"Thank you, Damon. You look handsome too." She was smiling, and waiting for me to invite her in. I moved out of the way so she could come in. She brisked past me, and I smelled her. She smelled so familiar, and sweet. When I saw the skin of her back, it reminded me of our last interaction. Her naked body, below mine, and her flesh was my flesh. "So, you said some beach pictures, and nudes?"

"Nudes? No nudes are social media term for dick pics and sexting. I'm going to take some tasteful natural body, aka nude visuals of you." I was completely speaking out of my ass, to break the ice.

"Fine, Damon." A humbled smile shot from her lips, and we felt familiar again. "So, I didn't know how to wear my hair, I just kind of did this romanticized style. I thought I had an idea of what you wanted. I could be wrong." Her hair was naturally curly, and today, she straightened it, and put some beautiful loose curls in it.

"No, you were right. You're perfect."

"Okay. So, should I walk out towards the water, or are we doing pictures in the sand?"

"Just be normal, okay? Act as if I'm not here."

She walked out and I got the film in my camera ready, and double checked the setting, getting ready for the lighting outside. I watched her walk into the breeze. Unfortunately, it wasn't over cast like I'd hoped, for being December. It was sunny. Thank you, California. But, Bonnie loved sunny days, and I can see why. Her skin against the sun, shines like a bronzed statue. The bright white smile, illuminates the setting even more. Don't get me started on her eyes.

Some moments, just the shots of the back of her dress, and her skin were perfect. I couldn't even relax my senses, the more I watched her. And sometimes, she just laughed, at nothing. And I remembered, how she told me, when she's nervous, she remembers funny moments in her head, and it makes her laugh to ease the tension. I wonder why she's nervous.

We were outside for over an hour in perfect lighting before the sun got too high in the sky. "Okay. I've got all I need out here. We can head in now."

"I feel like I could go for a swim. Wanna swim?" It's funny she asks me, because she doesn't swim anymore.

"Uhh, I would, but, I need to get these photos done. I need to develop them before the dead line. But... if I was using my digital camera I would." I'm an idiot, and I needed to say yes. I need to find a way to redeem myself.

"It's fine I probably shouldn't anyway. I have to be somewhere later." Where he hell does she have to be? God, I hope she's not dating someone. She walked into the house, and I wasn't far behind her.

"Oh, so, am I pressed for time?"

"Not exactly. I'm sure we have some time." When she said that, I felt like there was some stipulations to us spending time together. I could just feel it in her tone. "Should I just take the dress off, or...?"

"Take your time with it. Give me some patience, while you slip out of it. And face the window." I watched her carefully slide out of the dress, and it was a sight to see. The pictures of her sliding the straps over her shoulders were probably my favorite. Until she sat down, with her nude form, at the edge of the bed, and I saw the lowest part of her tailbone, and hips flare out as she was a silhouette of herself with the sun as a back drop.

Her hair fell to one side, with deep curls, and she didn't have to try hard to be my muse. Her on my bed, naked, was more muse than I could've asked for. Skin, shoulders, back, ass, curves, contours, lighting, sheets, vulnerability... she was like a flower, blossoming. Every petal, felt like I had watered her roots. I felt like a part of this. I move to the front of her body, and get some full frontal. This, woman, takes me by surprise every time I'm near her.

"Lay back. Just... think about something that turns you on, I don't need you to be sexual, just aroused." I watched the softness of her breast, and how relaxed she was. She moved her body comfortably. I want to know what she's thinking about. But I won't ask. Instead, I'll ask about her plans later. "So-ahhh, how have you been?"

"Good. Just, keeping myself busy."

"Yeah, same with me. How was your Christmas?"

"Ugh. I worked. My show, that's coming up has everyone on a crazy schedule. I worked, Christmas and I'll work New Year's too. No partying for me. In fact, I'm sure I'll be sleep, from exhaust before the countdown."

I was happy to hear, that it wasn't only be, spending the holidays working, and basically alone. Selfishly, I didn't want her to have fun without me. But I digress. I don't want her to be miserable either.

"Same for me. Work, takes a lot of time right now. Especially since I'll be working on this set I'm taking of you today, on New Year's, so I can meet this deadline."

"It's for the best, ya know." She doubtfully said. "These holidays just end up being people spending unnecessary amounts of money on pointless gifts, and alcohol. I shouldn't be drinking anyways. Not 'til my show is over." She looked so beautiful, right now. I can't help but gawk. I need to change the subject.

"How's your therapy going?"

"You know, same old. Just... sorting through things once again."

I paused, because I wanted to delve deeper like a normally did. I did what my therapist asked. I got to know her. I asked about her and listened. And in doing that, I neglected allowing her to know more about me. I didn't want it to come off that way. But, I thought I was doing the right thing. I just feel as though, if I ask, she might not accept my inquiring mind's need to know what she's doing. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"Damon..." she gave me that, I should know better than to ask her that face.

"Sorry, it's just... I haven't spoken to you in a month. Just wondered what's new in your life lately?"

"I just think, it's not a good idea to divulge as intimately as we used to."

"Why not? We are friends, or at least I thought we were."

"Damon, I came to help for this photo shoot, because I'd agreed to it, before all of this happened. I don't really want to encourage a negative conversation." I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm not good at this, but I want to know what I'm supposed to do, right now. Because I can't handle her being so, far away from emotionally. I missed that, I need that.

"Bonnie, I'm sorry. I just... want to know you're okay."

"Yeah, I'm good." I must've made her uncomfortable, because she covered her body with the bed sheet.

"Don't do that. I'm sorry. You... you've never felt the need to shield your body from me. Relationship or not. You're always comfortable enough to be free."

"Well, things change."

"Really? Like what? You dating someone?" I laughed, because she sounded ridiculous. But, when she didn't say anything, or smile back, I knew I couldn't possibly defeat this issue anymore. I'm now, backed into a corner, because I feel like I have to make a move, before I lose her forever. "Seriously? Four weeks! Bonnie, four weeks... that's all it took?"

She looked at me, like she wanted to slap me. "I should go."

"No." When she got up to leave I grabbed her. Then she offensively pulled away, and sat back on the bed.

"I'm sorry. Please don't, feel offended. You deserve to be happy." She sat a few minutes before removing the sheet. Suddenly she stopped, and held it over her parts. I walked close to her to gently remove the sheet. And she held it tighter. "Listen, I'm sorry, okay. Just relax. Tell me what I can do to help you to relax, and I'll do it."

She became timid, so I kneeled in front of her, gently pulling at the sheet. It was more in this moment, than it should've been. I put my camera down, and scooted it to the side. Then slowly, without breaking eye contact, I know I read her mind, when I spread her legs. Both of my hands cupped her knees, opening her legs until she was fully exposed to me. I wanted nothing more, in this moment, than to taste her. I'd craved this for a month. From the night we made love until now, this is what I've craved.

"Damon, I'm seeing someone, and I-"

"Before you finish that sentence, just tell me...when I asked you to think of something that turned you on... what's the first thing that came to mind?"

"You." She closed her eyes, avoiding me. "But, it doesn't matter. I'm seeing someone."

"It matters. Hell yeah it matters. You thought of me." I lay her back, lift her spread legs, and my mouth absorbs every ounce of her heat. She tastes like, I should be doing this every day. The pink flesh, of the inside of her pussy, is nicely lubricated, by my tongue. And her juices, are dripping from her. I stare for a few seconds, then use my tongue to catch it as it drips from her. I taste it, and go back to making love to her pussy, with my entire mouth. She pulls my hair, moaning. I move slowly, but deep, and I can feel her back arching, and her thighs gripping my head, while I eat her like a snack for the next twenty minutes. I make her forget about whoever he is. And again, that sound I was addicted to, rang in my ears again. My name, being screamed, my hair being pulled while I was eating her, and her coming more than once. Most of my life, this wasn't the way I intended to make a woman cum, but I can safely say, she's my new addiction. Not the sexual aspect of us... but her in general. I get a high from her.

She tasted exactly how I thought she would. I made my way back up her body, allowing my lips to kiss every inch of her all the way up. She patiently allow me to finesse her body, until I made it to her lips. "Damon. I have to get ready to go."

"Stay."

"I can't."

"You're boyfriend?"

"I don't have a boyfriend. Were just dating."

"You like him?"

"I don't know, Damon. It's new. It's only our fourth date."

"Four dates already?"

"Yeah. You know, people who like each other, go out, hold hands, kiss in public, show people their happy... they even talk about their past, let you get to know them emotionally. They get to know each other, and decide-"

"I get it Bonnie. He's giving you something I couldn't."

"No. You could've, and didn't want to. And it's okay. You'll find the woman, that makes you want to give her everything."

"Bonnie, you're worth giving the world too."

"Maybe so. But I never wanted the world, Damon. I just wanted you." Every time she speaks, I listen. She got up and got dressed.

"The gallery event is a week from today. You are cordially invited if you'd like to see yourself on display. For what's it's worth, I won't show any nude frontal visuals. You can see the film that will be used ahead of time, and sign a confidentiality clause.

"Send me the contract, I'll sign it. I trust your judgement."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, Damon. We can't spend time together this way, it's harder for me than I thought it would be. I thought I'd be fine, but I'm not."

"I'm sorry. I didn't think about it that way. Just needed to see you. You were perfect today, by the way."

"Thank you. Will I be receiving a formal invite?"

"Of course. I can bring it by, this weekend."

"I won't be home this weekend."

"Oh. Ummm. I can drop it in your mail box."

"Do I have a plus one?"

That question threw me off. But, I'm doing the rig thing. I know I am. And, I don't want to be petty. "Yes of course."

"Good. So, I'll see you next Friday." She said in a monotone.

"Okay Bonnie." I kissed her cheek before she left.

...

Sunday

...

I'm holding Bonnie's invite. I have no idea what I'll do if she brings him. But, it's fine, because he should see what I see, when I see her. I doubt he does. I doubt anyone does. And so, the purpose of this gallery is for one simple thing. Truth. I hold the invitation in my hand. I open her mailbox, and casually slide it inside. She's been gone the weekend. And Zozo is gone too. How am I losing the girl, and the dog that liked me?

It's so unfair. I feel like, he was our child.

Here goes, open the slot, drop it, until I hear it land on the floor. It's there. She officially has the invite. And my last chance, to be more than I've been.

I walk away casually, slinking my shoulders. I feel like a different person. For once, and after all of this... it took me, realizing, that I had more inside of myself, than I ever believed. I'm not so hollow after all.

When half the day goes by, I feel even more stronger, in my convictions. I've spent a couple of hours yesterday, developing film. I felt myself stop breathing a couple of times. Just, holding my breath at the mere thought of how, when I see her, I can't believe I've actually been a part of her life. I can't believe I've touched her, been inside of her, breathed her hair while she slept, had her mind, her body, and soul at one point. The complexity of this bond, formed between us, is actually one of the simplest things I have. Why did I think this was so damn hard? I've always needed simple, and little did I know, I would find it, in the one woman, who has the same deep-rooted insecurities as me.

I love looking at her while she's reading, and sleeping. I love watching her cry, when she's alone. Not because I enjoy seeing her in pain, but because, I know she purposely takes out time every week to cry, because she believes it's good for the soul. She makes me see things, for what they are, and not what they appear. These pictures capture the very essence of how I see her.

She's the woman I've always dreamt about, and never knew existed.

... ART GALLERY ...

I'm wearing a suit. This is my life every weekend. I go to art shows, galleries, charity events, and most of the time, I'm enjoying all of the beauty. Bonnie went to a few events with me. The ones I knew Elena wouldn't be at, and I didn't stay long, out of fear of these women from my past. These events signify too much of who I always was, before her. So, I went to less when she and I dated, The art, the women, the spectators. These events are always about money, liquor, and sex. It's what it is. Many of these women I've slept with. Once maybe twice. I'm used to getting hit on, winked at, and waited for. It's nothing to brag about. Maybe last year, it would've been brag worthy. But this year, it's an empty feeling. These people don't know me, on the inside. They don't take the time to understand me as an artist or a man. It's deafeningly lonely.

My work is covered, waiting for an unveiling. Everyone's invitation said seven. Except Bonnie's. Hers said eight. So, she and her date, will walk in together. They'll be photographed, and she'll be interviewed at the end of the showing, for some upcoming volumes of art magazines and blogs. I'm willing to accept her bringing him. Because it only matters to me that she's happy with the end result. And when it's said and done, I hope she has clarity on me, and what it all means to me, the moments and times we've shared. The impact she had on me and how she's affected me. This showing is more of a professing of truth.

Once and for all.

...

I've waited, for this moment, to see her walk in, and she's here. She's wearing a long flowing emerald lampshade style silk skirt. It drops to her ankles, and she's wearing some beautiful gemstone covered sandals. Her shirt is a cream color. It shows both her back and her midriff. Wrapping around her neck, but leaving her back and stomach open for viewing, I was stuck on her. It looked like an African style fashion ensemble. Here I am... Waiting to see who she'd show up with I couldn't manage to see her date over everyone. I was being tugged at, from left to right. So, I'd have to stop spying, for now, and get things ready to go.

It wasn't until I'd watched Elena surprisingly show up, that I became nervous. I didn't need her to ruin tonight for me, and definitely not for Bonnie. But, she brought him again. The same man from the charity event. A man I'd seen around before. A man, she was obviously intimate with. And finally, the man in question, had a name and I placed it. Because, now, I've actually met him.

It was Lorenzo. And I realize, he and Elena had been in a relationship. For probably what was years. She'd mentioned a man before, but as an ex. I'd seen pictures of him in her place, but again, she called him her ex. And at that point, I hadn't met him through Bonnie yet. So, I didn't put two and two together. When I saw her months back at the charity event, it was Lorenzo. It now occurs to me, we are involved, unknowingly in some dysfunctional quadship.

It's time for my unveiling, and I spot the woman in question. She's smiling with champagne in her hand, and I look to make sure Lorenzo and Elena are nowhere near her. I'd prefer that they leave, but I can't have them escorted out yet, because I have to unveil my work. The two of them, of anyone, should see this. The lights lower, with the exception of some visual effects lighting. Pinks, red, and rare, glimpses of yellows. All of my photos are black and white. The theme of the Gallery event was clear to everyone on their invite, with the exception of Bonnie. Her invite was different.

As the theme was also unveiled, confusion spread across Bonnie's face when she read the words Fragments of Intimacy. All of her hair was swept to one side. So, she used that to cover her face, when she noticed me watching her. She sipped her champagne, and continued to look at the exhibit. She walked around slowly, taking in all of the pictures, as she sipped her champagne. I saw her stop in front of one of the photos. It was her, sitting on the bed. The image of her from the back as she sat on the edge of my bed, facing the ocean. The indentation at her spine, was prominent in the photo, and it made her look like an ethereal dream.

After about half an hour, I was mingling and being asked about photos when I was interrupted by Elena. She always had a knack for boldly inserting herself inside of my personal space, without welcome. But, for me, tonight is about moving forward, and progressing in the right direction. While I want to kick Elena out after her performance, and kick Lorenzo's ass again, this night isn't just about me. It's about someone, I realize, I don't want to be without.

"So, every... single... picture... is of her?"

"It appears that way."

"Wow. So what are you... in love with her?"

I ignore that question and skip right the part I've been dying to know. "How long have you and him, been a thing?"

"Uhhh... why?"

"Because, I just want to know."

"About two years. But when you and I... he and I were on the outs, so..."

"Well, things worked out for the better, right?"

"Damon, don't do that. You know, I cared about you. But unfortunately, you apparently couldn't be tied down."

"And do you have any idea his history?"

"Meaning?"

"Meaning who he was dealing with besides you."

"I mean, I don't ask questions about the past."

"Were you aware he had a girlfriend? Or fiancé while you were together?"

"He told me, that they were having problems. Why are you so inquisitive?"

"Because maybe, you should ask him, why he's paying such close attention to these photos." Elena turned to look for him and saw him, especially stuck on one picture. I couldn't see which one it was, but he had been standing there a while.

"I'm not worried about his looking at a random woman in a photograph. What I am, however, worried about, is you being here, promoting this woman. What do you see in her?"

"If you can't see it, in this exhibit, then I don't know what to tell you."

"Why her?"

"She makes me better. She helped me see who I want to be?"

"So, what... does she make you happy or something?" She asked me dryly, but I could tell she was really interested in the answer.

"To say happy, wouldn't do justice, what she makes me feel. When a woman commands the right things from a man, she brings out his best. And if he truly loves her, he decides he wants to give her his best." And we both turned at one point to see Bonnie standing, and observing a photo of herself, with sunglasses on, sitting on her porch, feeling some sense of exhaustion. She sipped her champagne, then put it on a tray of a passing server and she headed out the side entrance, to an opened sitting area, that was outside. I thought I should go after her, until I saw Lorenzo spot her and walk after her. And, if I spotted that, then so did Elena. She watched carefully and walked closer to the window looking outside.

Bonnie didn't realize he was out there, and I wanted to interrupt, because he didn't deserve her time. But, I tried to control my temper and just watch. I don't think he'd make the mistake of putting his hands on her again. I wanted to give her privacy, so I tried to continue talking to people. But the fact that I can't hear what they're saying is driving me crazy. I notice his hand goes to her shoulder, and she moves away from him, uncomfortably.

"The work is beautiful." I hear from my rear. I ignore it waiting for her reaction to him. "I especially appreciate the detail to your capturing her, essence."

"Huh?" I turn to see one of the biggest art buyers from the west coast. Harry DeVoe. Harry DeVoe, is based in the west coast, but is beyond, well known internationally. He is known for having an eye for nude photography, tasteful, and eccentric nude photography. He's an Art buyer, but has more interest in the subject or model than the photographer. Surprisingly, he's here, and Bonnie's photos aren't entirely nude. No, body parts in these pictures. So, why is he here? "Oh, sorry. I just... yes. Thank you. I have a really good eye for photographing this woman."

"Yes. It's apparent. She a model?"

"Umm, no. She's not, actually."

"What does she do for a living?"

"She is actually, a dancer."

"Of course. Her body language, says it all. She's so graceful, naturally."

"Yes, she's is naturally graceful." I'm in a daze trying to pay attention to him and Bonnie and Lorenzo.

"I'm interested in your work." I snap out of it, and back at DeVoe.

"Excuse me?"

"I'd like to look at more work of her. But from your eye. I want to set up a meeting with you. I'll have my assistant, get ahold of you."

I'm stunned, awestruck. "Wow. Okay. Yeah, sure."

"Okay, I'm going to continue to admire the work. I'll be in touch."

"Thank you, so much Mr. DeVoe." We shakes hands, and one positive thing so far, has come out of this night.

He nodded his head, and turn to see Bonnie and she's still with him, tossing a drink in his face. She walks away from him, and then a guy with blonde hair, walks out to her, an hugs her. They talk for a minute. Seems he's comforting her. He walks her back in. The two of them continue looking around and then she starts seeing more and more pictures of her, that she didn't pose for. Cooking, reading, sleeping, crying, playing with Zozo. But one, takes her by surprise. It's on a large wall, being projected. The lights go out, and the projected image, turns to a video. A collage of images. Then, a spoken word plays over in the audio.

Words, I'm not good at face to face. And words I re-recorded a hundred times before they were perfect enough to use in the final sample. Lights lower, traditional sound of old projector film fills the room, and my voice, agonizing me over the loud speaker, making me want to run away, and never look back. For this judgement, is one I've never had to deal with. The sound of my voice, over an entire crowd of silent patrons.

Her light, abundantly fills the darkness.

Fragments of my guilt in the sweat of her skin.

Damp and dirty, are the seeds of broken promises.

She's all in this world that ever made sense

Heavy is the burden that rest in the pain of greed

Her eyes trigger me into a desperate place of need

Softness, is her skin when I'm lost in my selfishness

Sweet simplicity, bombarding my sheltered loneliness

Hardly real, the feel when her heart beat against mine

A lifeline, in the dead silence of my oxygens time

A prisoner of my words, unescaping my heart chambers

Contaminating feelings, of our last encounter, I savor

There's is nothing abundant without her existence

Living is the life, that watered the soul, after the first kiss

But alas, the sky fades into the water, where darkness meets the sea

I'm swimming naked in her her ocean, loving her, as she loves me

I knew Bonnie loved poetry. Poetry was dance in the art form of words. Maybe this poem wasn't very good. But, the words hold value, that I know she needs to hear. I watch her as every word is spoken, she sipped her glass quickly, and grabbed another. The blonde man next to her whispered into her ear, but she wasn't listening. She downed the second glass of champagne. Maybe the crowd appreciated the way in which I ended my exhibit. I don't know, and I don't care. All I care, is if my message was loud and clear.

To the untrained ear it was gibberish, and words, that made no sense. But I know, Bonnie understood every single word of it. She knew word for word what was there. Somewhere in my haze, I hear clapping and people are cheering. But, all I see is her, down the glass of champagne, grab her date, and leave, suddenly. She is affected I know she is. I feel it, I see it. I need to talk to her.

I stand for seconds telling myself what to do. Run after her, go get her, don't let her leave again. I give someone my drink, and I head towards her. I try to get to Bonnie before she leaves. I stumble through people congratulating me, and trying to stop me for pictures. I politely take a few and decline the rest, asking for a minute or two. I walk, but I'm being tugged at. The tail end of a long flowy emerald skirt, is dragging behind, as I try to follow it, and I continue walking and pushing through, even when I see her make it outside. "Bonnie?" I called.

She keeps walking. The crowd is loud, drunk and excited, and I'm pulled again. This time by Elena.

"Damon, that was-"

"Not now." I move her out of my way and finally make it to the door. She's outside waiting, I guess he went to get the car. Whoever he was.

It's me, standing with few people nearby talking amongst themselves. Then her, waiting along the curb. She's so fucking breathtaking. I study her face. She seems fine. She's not bothered, angry, or hurt.

"Bonnie?"

She turns casually, like my voice did nothing for her. When she looks at me, I want to kiss her. Even if she seems unaffected by me now. "Damon."

"Uhh, I was hoping to talk to you, before you left."

"About what?"

"Uhh, the exhibit. Did you like it?"

"It was nice. Thank you." That's it. She's so cold right now. So distant. How can she... I mean I get it but why? It's not her. A car pulls up next to her, and a guy gets out, and walks around to her, opens the door, and helps her in. As she leaning to sit in the car, she looks at me and says. "See ya around." Then she gets in the car, and he closes the door, smiles at me, and walks around to his side, gets in and leaves.

I stand dumb-founded for a while. I didn't want to go back in the party. But I had to for professional reasons. She was no longer affected by me. She was completely over me, and she'd moved on.

This, was my last attempt, and I was sure, she'd at least acknowledge it. Even if she didn't feel the same, knowing she'd acknowledged my feelings, would've meant something. Or that I meant something at one point. I get back in the gallery event, and surprisingly set up a few decent business meetings. Which, if handled right can set me up financially for a few years, if I decide to take some time off work to go find myself for a while, after Bonnie's cold shoulder tonight.

I don't think I can stay in that beach house next to her, and never feel her skin against mine again. Never hear her words, or see her face. Never being able to feel heart beat against mine, or look into those emerald eyes, I can never rest, knowing someone else gets those things, instead of me.

The party was lonely.

I drank.

And drank, until I could laugh again.

But those jokes still weren't funny. But I was drunk enough to fake it. Drunk enough to go back to the old me, and partake in the fake socialization, while random women came up to me, trying to get me to take them home. Lorenzo was approaching me. This is going to get really bad. I stand there, ready to lose everything, and knock him out.

"You know, it's funny. I've seen you at these stuffy events before. Didn't know who you were, back then." He says. I sip my champagne and just look beyond him. "To know, we've slept with the same women, unknowingly, we may have been better friends in another life." He smirked.

"I couldn't be friends with a man who hits women, or tries to rape the celibacy out of them."

"You say that, but you don't know Bonnie. She likes crazy sex. Angry sex. Role playing."

"You weren't playing around." And he continues to talk, and all I want to do is put my hand down his throats and pull out his esophagus. But, I can't. "I'm really not at liberty talk to you. There's a matter of a police report you filed on me."

"Stepping in on another man's territory. Not wise." He said. What is he a Rottweiler? She's not his territory. I'm ignoring him to avoid confrontation. "Well, you should know something about Bonnie. She is a dreamer. She wants things from other humans that is unattainable. Thanks to her therapist. She went from not caring about anything, to carrying too much. Those, beautiful words of yours, was proof, how she can take what she wants from you, and leave you feeling empty. Spoiled little cunt." It takes everything out of me, not to break this glass and cut his face. But I need to make sure he leaves here affected by me in a different way.

"Does Elena know that disgusting bastard you are?"

"Elena's loves it. Who do you think I was with, when Bonnie decided to be celibate? She loved the thrill of fucking me after I was with Bonnie, or before I saw her. Bonnie had never met Elena before, but... she knew there was someone."

"Why are you here?"

"Had I known about you, I wouldn't be here. Unlike you, I know how to keep these women in their place." He tried walking away from me, but not before I called out to him.

"Is that what happened with Bonnie? You found out, someone came in a swooped her away from you. Someone gave her what she needed, and she was able to look at you, and not think about fucking you. Even though, she was addicted to sex? Were you so mad, that my mere words exchanged with her, were enough to make her, not want to even touch you anymore? Or the month you spent time with her again, she was thinking about me, every time. I could be one sick fuck, and tell you the way it all went down, when it finally happened. Oh god. I could really tell you every detail, but I'll leave you with this, because I respect Bonnie too much." His mouth turned up in a smirk, and he held an empty champagne glass. "There's women in this world, and there's girls. Then there's Bonnie. She can turn a boy into a man, and a man into a boy. That's the power she has. Now, one of those, she did for me, and the other, she did for you. I'll let you take a guess at who became a man, because of her, and who reverted back to being a boy."

He stood there silently for seconds before he got it. Elena walked up, having seen him with me. "Enzo, you okay?"

"You should leave Elena, and take Bonnie's sloppy seconds with you. He has a restraining order against me." She looked between us. "Oh you didn't know about that, why don't you ask him why." I walked away and left those two misery invoked people with their mouths open. They can have each other. Such a waste of time.

oOo

Tonight was rough. Rewarding professionally but rough. I head home in my car, and everything inside of me wants to explode. I want to lose it. I never get to lose it. Dozens of women wanted to come home with me tonight. It felt awful. It felt dirty. Their need for my casual desires, which would end in one night of sex, and me never contacting them again. Yeah, it felt dirty, to remember, that a year ago, this was okay with me. That up until just eight months ago, I was living this way.

My hands are on fire on the steering wheel as I get to my house. I drove around for maybe two hours, trying to figure out why. Why she couldn't have a response to me? Why she shut me out? Why she wouldn't just, give me an inch? I gave her a lot in that poem.

Lesson learned, right? "Fuuuuuuuuck!" I scream in my car, sitting in the driveway of my lonely house. I guess I should get a dog, and name it Bonnie. So I can ask why? I laugh at myself, because I'm angry and over emotional. I need a glass of Bourbon. I get out of my car, alone. She should've been on my arm tonight. Fuck... I wanna cry, I can feel it. But I won't let it happen.

Who am I kidding. I cried in my car. Not for long, maybe ten minutes. But enough to know, I felt something. I felt pain, hurt, and rejection. And somehow, it was because I didn't want to be without her. I get to the top of my stairs, and open the door. I walk into this dark lonely house, straight for my Bourbon. It's not there. "The fuck?" I call out. "So, now I have to be angry, and I can't soothe it? Tonight's not my night." I laugh out loud. But it wasn't funny. It was far from funny. "Everything in the world, right here. Success, a home on the beach, money in the bank, the world to give, and no one to give it to." I walk around in circles. Fuck it. I head down to the cellar. Wine will do. It will have to do. I want to drown myself in everything and get lost, in feeling sorry for myself. Pathetic? I know. Let me be pathetic tonight . I head down to the cellar, and look around for what will do the trick today. Oh why not go with the heavy hitter.

Merlot.

I grab the bottle and walk upstairs, and just as I'm walking up, I hallucinated the emerald dress, blowing in the wind that was coming in my patio door. I shake my head, I know I'm not nearly drunk enough. The champagne has worn off, and I'm just holding an unopened bottle of Merlot. I opened it, and stare longer. This image just eludes me. I took the bottle to the head and drank about a quarter of it, like a mad man. This image is still here. It's not real, is it?

Then that sound tickles my ears, and I put the bottle down, when she spoke. "Who do you think you are?" Her body faced the ocean, and her back was to me. I just stood there, put my head down. "I work so hard, to optimistically love. I do. I try to see the best in people. But who, the hell do you think you are?" She finally turns towards me.

"Bonnie, how long have you been here?"

"Long enough to have a a couple of glasses of bourbon, waiting for you. I'm not even supposed to be drinking before my show. It'll bloat me. Damnit." I looked at her, longingly. Pathetically, longingly. It forced her to turn away again. "I sat on the back porch, in case you brought a woman back. That way I wouldn't distract you, and could leave before you saw me."

"That's what you think of me?"

"I mean, I was kind of cold towards you, and I assumed you'd just, drown yourself in forgetting I existed. I thought another warm body would do the trick." She had been crying before I got here.

"You were cold. You shut me out, and gave me nothing, but basic ass words! I yelled.

"It sucks, right? Doesn't it hurt, to feel pushed out?" She crossed her arms, and looked at me, like a jack ass.

"Yeah. It felt horrible. I walked around the gallery for a couple more hours, feeling like an unworthy piece of shit." She nodded her head, like she agreed.

"You should understand, I'd never want you to feel the way I made you feel tonight. But you have some nerve, Damon. I was there with a date tonight. You never said anything about a poem, and having taken pictures of me after we... made love. Lying naked in your bed. That was so... so... fucking personal. A moment shared between the two of us, and you let everyone see me in your bed, asleep."

"It was art."

"It was personal. It was special." She cried. "It was the last beautiful thing I had left of you, before you ruined us."

"I'm not perfect Bonnie and that image of you in my bed, after we made love was the most beautiful photograph I've ever taken. Because, it truly was candid. It was really raw. And you were covered in my sheets. Your hair was thrown on the pillow above your head. The side of your breast was the the most of your body they saw. You were laying stomach down, so it was just the fat of your breast. Your legs were tangled in my sheets, and you still loved me. That was the last moments you loved me."

She was shaking her head, in disbelief. "You reminded me, that you constantly took from me. That picture, you took a moment and displayed it."

"Is this about the picture?"

"What else would it be about?"

"I don't know, anything but the fucking picture! I gave you the opportunity to see what would be on display. Apparently being around me makes your skin crawl now, so you said, you'd trust my judgement."

"I'm leaving, okay. I came to tell you that I'm selling the house." She tried to storm off, dramatically, but my heart sank in my chest. How did I screw up that bad. I couldn't let her leave. I stopped her.

"What? No. You love that house."

"Damon, I can't live next door to you. These feelings won't go away, and-"

"I'll sell my house, Bonnie. Don't sell your dream house."

"Childhood fantasy. I can't afford the payments if I can't keep a steady gig. It was nice while it lasted." I couldn't feel the muscles in my face anymore. She was losing her home. "I can stay there for another couple months. But it's for the best." She turned to leave. She was walking out of my life forever. I'll be got damned. She not going anywhere. I speak up, like a desperate man.

"Her light, abundantly fills the darkness.

Fragments of my guilt in the sweat of her skin."

"Damon stop, please. Don't do that." She stopped walking, and stood there, with her back facing me. And I kept reciting the words, because she needed to hear them face to face. She had to know, what it meant to me, from my own mouth.

"Damp and dirty, are the seeds of broken promises.

She's all in this world that ever made sense."

And even though she shakes her head for me to stop, I keep going. And she starts to cry all over again. But inside, of me, I'm shaking. I'm scared. I'm dying, because I just want her to understand, how sorry I am, and how much she means to me.

"Heavy is the burden that rest in the pain of greed.

Her eyes trigger me into a desperate place of need.

Softness, is her skin when I'm lost in my selfishness.

Sweet simplicity, bombarding my sheltered loneliness."

I walk towards her, hoping she'll understand I'm human, and I make mistakes too. She still couldn't face me, because it was to painful. "Damon, don't come closer. Don't, take me back to that place. Don't make me remember everything, and want you again." I hold her body from behind and continue in her ear.

"Hardly real, the feel when her heart beats against mine.

A lifeline, in the dead silence of my oxygens time.

A prisoner of my words, unescaping my heart chambers.

Contaminated with feelings, of our last encounter, I savor."

Her tears falling onto my hands, so, I turn her towards me, as I draw the conclusion.

"There's is nothing abundant without her existence.

Living is the life, that watered the soul, after the first kiss.

But alas, the sky fades into the water, where darkness meets the sea.

I'm swimming naked in her ocean, loving her, as she loves me."

Bonnie covered her face, and moved away from me. But I moved closer again. I'm not letting her leave me. I'm simply not going to allow it. "It's beautiful, Damon."

"Every word, I wrote for you."

"I know. Why are you doing this, Damon?"

"Because, Bonnie. I can't, be without you. I won't. I thought, if we made love I'd ruin you. And in some way, I think I did. But, I didn't want to." My hands starts to shake. My palms are sweaty. Because I'm about to speak, from my heart, and hopefully not sound stupid. "Then you told me, you'd ruin me, by making me never want to be without you again. And you were right. Bon, you ruined me. I'll admit it. Other women, aren't on my radar. None. Everyday, I replay moments we've spent, because it's the closest thing I have to having you."

She looks at me, and dries her eyes the best she can. "I'm sorry."

"Stop. You have no reason to be." I know I don't have time to give her everything I kept inside for the past eight months of getting to know her. but I have to try to give her something, about who I was before her. I took a deep breath, and rubbed my forehead, then I began to speak. "My parents are from the south. They have traditionalist views. Me going to college out of state to become a photographer, and not play football angered my dad. He doesn't agree with my line of work. And my mother has always favored my brother, because he's the baby. Who by the way went off to college to play football, and then went back to my hometown to coach high school football. He married his high school sweetheart, and they have kids. He kisses their ass, and lives his life in my father's shadow, and I stepped out of my father's shadow. They are relatively wealthy, ranchers. My brother was easily influenced by a girl years ago, she talked him into doing some really stupid things. I saw her ruining his life, and so, I tried to tell him. He couldn't handle it. We got into a fight. I fucked up, and got back at him by fucking her. Mainly, so he could she who she really was, but he never fully forgave me. We are cordial but don't typically get along. I moved to California, to get away from my family, because back there, I was not living to my best potential, and it was getting me into trouble. I got into a lot of trouble when I was younger. I was reckless and selfish."

I start to remove my jacket and begin unbuttoning the sleeves of my dress shirt, and she just stands there listening. She's, quietly, and patiently listening. She clears her throat, and nervously grabs her elbow with her other hand. I grab the bottle of merlot, along with two glasses. I pour them, and hand her one. She takes it, and still stands off to the side. "I would like it, if you could sit." I speak with a strong, tone, and no facials. She slowly walks to my black leather couch, in my white living room, and sits.

"When I moved to California, I met a woman, and fell in love. She was the first person, I clung to when I got here. She was beautiful, and edgy. The opposite of where I was from. I was drawn to this difference. I did whatever she wanted. She was older than me. And I believed in everything she said to me. But, I was like an experiment for her. Ya know? Turning the country boy into some pathetic puppy. She introduced me to a life of opportunity. But, she was married. I was a funny project, because her husband treated her like shit. I had no idea she was married, by the way. I thought it was just me and her. But, I was just her go-to, when her husband wasn't acting right. I'd get the courage to leave, when I got suspicions of her cheating, and she'd seduce me. She'd make love to me, and tell me she loved me while making love to me."

"Is that why you were uncomfortable, when I did that."

"I wasn't uncomfortable when you did it. I was scared. Because I believed in her. Like I believe in you, and I didn't want us to be like that. So, when it came to her, I let it go for two or three months. Then she'd treat me like shit, when I started to ask questions. She'd beat me with her words. And I mean, she'd beat me down, verbally. Worthless, pathetic, sad little country boy, needy, stupid, dumb, etc. she beat me down, when I tried to leave, or ask questions. I'd feel like shit, I felt low. I felt, like no one, without her. Because I was in this place, alone. I mean I'd been here maybe five years before she and I dated. We hung out a couple of those years off and on. I didn't know she was married, because it was a social thing at first. But, when we started dating it was before I graduated college, so she was my everything. My lover, girlfriend, best friend, everything. She even talked me into the fucking tat. But, eventually, I knew I had to make moves. I finally started getting a voice, and doing my own thing. She took notice and that's when she started using sex a weapon with me. And she did anything, I mean anything to get me to stay."

I lowered my head in disgust and embarrassment. Bonnie moved closer to me, and put her hand on my thigh. She rubbed my leg softly, feeling my pain.

"She would follow me from place to place. Trying to see who I was with, and where I was. I wasn't cheating, okay? I was networking, and focusing on my career. But, she became really jealous. And one day, she just said, she was pregnant. I was so fucked. Because I was finally getting away from her, slowly. Making my way in life, feeling better about myself. But, me being from the south, I knew I couldn't leave her hanging. I'd be there for my child no matter what. She was about three months pregnant. She said, she wanted to get married. I thought, she's fucking crazy. But, I was young, and she got in my head, and I did it. We went to the courthouse, and did it. She moved in with me, in my tiny apartment. She complained all the time. I had no idea why she stayed. Then after maybe three weeks some man came looking for her. He said he was her husband. I knew it couldn't be true. But it was. And I told him, she's pregnant. He wanted to beat my ass. I would've fought him for her, but, somehow... I think he felt sorry for me, realizing I was a kid. He said he'd pay for the paternity test. And if I was the father, he'd walk away. But if he was the father, he was going to take care of his child. Eventually she miscarried. We'll never know the truth. I never fucked another woman without a condom again. Until you and I made love. We got he marriage annulled. Technically, we had to, because she was legally married to someone else. My ex ghosted on me, and she was all I had, because at that point, I wasn't very far in my career yet. So, getting over the whole thing was a long mental struggle. She was verbally abusive, sexually abusive. Sounds weird, because she didn't rape me, but, she used sex as a tool to control me. I was left with lingering insecurities because of her."

Bonnie put her arms around me and hugged me. "Oh god, Damon. What an awful person. How could she, just...? You didn't deserve that type of abuse."

"That's why, when she called me for lunch I couldn't tell you Bonnie. I never talk about her. What would you have even thought? Ya know? And...At that point I hadn't seen her in ten years."

"I would've understood, Damon. You didn't give me a chance."

"Maybe because if you told me, you were meeting an ex, I wouldn't understand it. I would hate it. And in my mind, I only went, because my therapist says I needed closure."

"Did you get closure?"

"I mean, I got an apology. She said she's gotten help after all these years. She realized she treated me wrong, and I was the only person who treated her right, after all these years. We got caught up in a moment, and she kissed me, and I didn't stop her, because I'm an idiot and imperfect to a fault."

"What did you feel when you saw her?"

"Nothing."

"Be honest Damon. I've been there."

I didn't want to express the truth, because I knew it would hurt Bonnie. But, if she wants the truth, I'll say it, no matter how fucking hard it is to face. "Uh, there's was old lingering feelings. Sexually." I saw her face drop, and she looked away. "I didn't want to feel those things on purpose."

"It's okay, Damon. It's normal. When I saw Lorenzo after months, I still had feelings. And there's no telling what would happen, if I ever had to face Elijah. Elijah was to me, what Rose was to you. And Lorenzo is my Elena. I guess. So, don't feel bad. Just be honest with me. Even if you think it'll hurt me."

"Well, when we were saying goodbye, I walked her to her car, to be a gentleman. That's when we hugged, and kissed, and it just... got a little out of control."

"How, out of control?"

"Just, kissed. But out of control to me, because I swore, I'd never let her have that part of me again." I know, it affected Bonnie, hearing my emission. "So, when we stopped, I just said, bye. And I didn't want to hurt her, so I just, didn't contact her again. All I could think about was you during that time she and I spent together for lunch. And for two weeks I agonized. My stomach turned in knots trying to tell you, and being unable to."

"Wow. Damon, why couldn't you just tell me? I've never judged you, or made you feel bad about your decisions."

"Because I'd rather, deal with the stress of not telling you, than to see your face, when I hurt you." She grabbed my hand.

"The tattoo... will always be that reminder, I guess."

"Yeah, I uh... about that." I started removing my shirt. "I started the process of removing it. She made me get it, and it was fucking painful."

"Why remove it? Why not just cover it?"

"I didn't know what to cover it with. Besides, I want this removed, because I never wanted the tattoo." She moved her fingers over the skin slightly. It was tender. "Ouch."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. Two more sessions. Luckily it's not that big." Her small fingers draw my goosebumps, to the surface and I get a tingle inside. She bit that lip again, and I look up at her face, as she studies my scar tissue. Then she catches me looking at her, and she stops. I grab her fingers with mine. Then I grab her cheek with my other hand. I look her in the eyes, and this is the hardest moment of my life, right now in these seconds. Which felt like minutes. Which felt like hours. "Bonnie..." oh fuck, lip don't shake. Lip stop shaking. She's a woman. A person like me. Why am I so nervous?

"Yes, Damon." The soft skin of her cheeks, pulls the words out of me, as her green eyes, suck the soul from my body.

"I met you on May tenth, Bon Bon. And since that day, it's like, we've been in our own world. You pulled me into this world, and you held my hand, and we built this private existence, together. You... you are an entire world, I want to explore. I never want to stop exploring you." I pull her fingers up and kiss the back of her hand, while my eyes water, slightly. "I don't live, when you're not here. I mean, I exist, subtly, because I'm a bunch of particles and mass, allowed to float in the world for now, but that's it. When you are here, I live. Life, is speculation, and wonder with you... and I want to explore it. I want to be better everyday, and I want to be better at being who you need. And the only reason, I know that, is because I am lost, in love with you, Bonnie." I see her lips begin to tremble, and I try to calm her with my attempted ease, as I tell her how I feel. "And I will do, what it takes, to show you everyday, how much you mean to me, and how much, I appreciate you. Because you, are my best friend. You are everything, to me, Bonnie. And my life, means something, when you're in it."

Her eyes watered, and this is a pattern for me and her. I wipe her eyes, and she closes them. "I'm speechless." She can't even look at me. "Damon, I never imagined, hearing those words-"

"Look at me." She hesitates. "Bon Bon, please, open your eyes and look at me."

"I'm trying, but it's, hard, right now."

"It's hard for me too. But, I pay my therapist, lots of money, so that I could eventually say these things out loud. So, let me give you, as much of my truth as I can, looking you, in your eyes." She fluttered those tears drop filled eyes, open, for me. And she was very raw, right now.

She looks at me slowly. "Bonnie, I have one more thing to tell you. And, I don't want you to be angry, because I need you to understand why I couldn't tell you." Her eyes became worried, and she fought wanting to close them. "Bonnie, I am a sex addict. I moved my way through tons of women. It sounds bad, because it is." Her face takes pause, and she looks directly at me, surprised.

"A sex addict, like me? What, why couldn't you just-"

"Listen, you telling me what you are, was like music to my ears. Finally. Someone understood me. But, you were different. You have slept with three men. You had lots of sex with three men. I had hundreds of one-night stands. Hundreds. I am ashamed of how casually I treated my addiction, for years. But I am a sex addict. I became celibate for you." I become as honest as I can in these moments. "I went through agony, from the day I met you till the day we made love. Everything about wanting you and not being able to have you was like fire to my skin. But after a while, the burn eased, because... you were this... slow, rain... just, calming me. And when you weren't in my presence, everything burned again. But the moment you were in my sight, you were that slow, cool rain. Raining on me, this beautiful storm, putting out this wild fire. And I stopped having sex with other women, because I was willing to give it up, for you. And I did. And that night, when we, and you... God, it felt like I was born again. A new man. We connected, and you... accepted everything I had. The good, the bad, and the ugly in those moments of us making love. And after that night, I could never see myself touching another woman."

"I had no idea. So, all those nights we hung out, or kissed, you were tortured and pained like me. You were fighting a battle, on the inside?" I nodded my head yes. She felt something, that made her stand up. "Wow, Damon, this is shocking."

"I know, but... I'd be willing to be that again for you. If that's what you want." She shook her head, and all I can imagine is, what if she's not celibate, and she's had sex with this new guy. I stood up and look her eye to eye. "Are you and this new guy... having sex?"

"No, we aren't."

"I'll wait for you, Bon. If you want no sex, I can do that. But I want you Bonnie. I want you."

"Damon, it's a lot right now."

"For who?"

"Me, and you. Two sex addicts, trying to be better."

"We are better. I know we are. And we are better, when we are together. Because we aren't using each other."

"Aren't we though?"

"No, Bon, baby... you fulfill me. And I know, I fulfill you. I can feel it in your glances. Your touches. Your kisses, and hugs. You said we were soulmates."

"We are. Damon, you are... so unexpected, and you're scaring me, right now."

"I will wait, as long as you want."

"I should leave, Damon. Zozo, is home alone." She walked towards the door, and opened it, leaving. I just stood there, speechless. She walked out of the house, and left.

"I headed to the bedroom, and I had to feel content. I told her how I felt. I left it up to her. I grab the glass of merlot that I didn't drink. And drank it. Then I grabbed the glass that she didn't drink, and I drank it. I wait for twenty minutes, in my living room, hoping she'd come back. And she didn't. I know, I don't want to be without her, but I also don't want to push her.

oOo

I left her alone. For days... I gave her space, and I didn't invade her privacy. I slept alone and didn't take calls, that weren't of importance. I went to the studio a few times, and had my meeting with Harry DeVoe. I made the deal of a lifetime, and I wanted to tell no one, other than her. I wanted to celebrate, and explain her to her, how my success was her success, because she was half that project. It wasn't about all of the money, but about what happens when she and I come together. But I just went home, and brought my two favorite portraits of her, back with me. The one of her, after we made love. It's in my bedroom, hanging above my bed. The one of her sitting on her front porch stairs, it's in my living room, hanging on the wall. My muse. My beautiful, best friend.

Now I see her every day in these images. And that feeling, is going to get me over, for now.

...

So, after four days, of torture, I'm in my room one night, getting ready to take a shower. As I got undressed, and before I could formulate a thought, I looked outside and she was standing there, in a towel. It's the middle of Winter. Is she fucking crazy? No. she was serious. She was waiting for me, I think.

I got undressed and grabbed a towel. I headed to the beach and walked out towards her, and stood before her. "It's been a while."

"Yeah."

"You ready to let it all go?"

"It is the middle of January, are we crazy?"

"Yes. We are. But, we are doing this together. So, I trust to take this journey with you. I'm trusting you." She looked in my eyes, and I felt like a fucking King. "And I'm ready if you are, Damon." And just like that, her words, were my drug.

"I'm more than ready." And I could feel, that for her this was symbolic. I dropped my towel as she did. And for the first time, we looked at each other's bodies. "You're breathtaking."

"So are you. Even with that large, bandage on your ribcage." She smiled, looking at my battle scars. "Come on." She held my hand and we walked out to the ocean, we walked out to both the black sky and sea. Slowly, leaving a trail of foot prints, in the sand, heading out to the water, until the icy cold feeling hit our toes. We were both afraid. It was new to us. We were both, starting this new chapter in our lives together.

Slowly, but surely, water is creeping up our legs, and into places, that force us to laugh. We usually ran, but today there was no rush. We walked. Because we walked together, and taking this slowly, was what we needed. "Oh gosh, this sucks when you do it slowly, doesn't it?" She giggles, feeling the water hit the highest portion of her thighs, and touch her womanhood.

"Yeah, it does. But, I'll move slow for you as long as you don't look at my dick while it's freezing cold." I made her laugh. As we walked out, further, the water was at just below her breast, and basically at my waist. She turned to me and grabbed me, because it was freezing cold. "You're such a baby."

"I know. When I move slow, I'm hesitant." She looked up at me, something about that moment, took us both by surprise. My lips gravitated towards her and she didn't stop me, as I kissed her softly. I held her tight, then pulled out of the kiss. We looked up, and saw a plethora of stars, surrounding the moon, in the large open sky. It was astonishing, how, we take these natural things for granted. How much larger the world is, than us or our problems. Trivial pursuits, for the trivially aloof.

She and I are here and now, being true to what we want.

She's taught me how to, Know thyself.

I feel strong with her next to me. She looked me in the eyes.

"You ready?" She wrapped her legs around my waist, and I could feel her shaking due to the cold.

"Oh, god, yes." I squeezed her body, and took us both under the still water. When we came back up, it was like breathing for the first time. We held each other and laughed. She held me tight, and her legs wrapped around my waist even tighter. "Oh my god, we did it. Together!" She looked so happy. I love this smile.

"We did it. It's fucking cold, in the middle of Winter, but we did it, together, Bon."

"Winter in California, Damon?" She laughed.

"Still, cold as fuck in the water, Bonnie." We held each other shivering, laughing, and anxious. As the funny moment died down, another moment was brought to life. We felt each other's naked bodies, and something about the water and our skin, and the moment took on its own direction. It started with a kiss. Her arms wrapped around my neck, and her legs around my waist. My arms held her back, and I felt myself wake up to the feel of her body.

Her kisses were tender, and the moment she felt me poking her, she accommodated me, without hesitation. Her hips moved up, and then she let me glide her down my shaft, carefully. Her pussy felt the exact same, and I was gonna make the inside of her shape to me. We both get a second chance and I know, her body was made for mine. Slowly, I stroked her in that cold water as we made the water heat up around us. The movements between us, felt so breathlessly sinful, inside of that water. And the symbolism was us washing away all of the old, and accepting the new. Maybe this is why she was able to allow this to happen between us right now.

Her body is accepting me, and pulling me into her possessively. I used my hands and spread her just a little, and pounded myself into her, so I could get deeper. The cold water, and the heat between us, made the moment so intense. Her hair covered the right side of her face, and she spoke in deep breaths, into my face as our wet skin connected "You feel so good." Her breaths, turned to moans. Her hand held my cheek, and her eyes were penetrating mine, while I let my dick feed on her insides. I changed positions of my hands. One holding underneath her, and the other wrapped around and holding her back, and the back of her head. Water dripped between the crevices of our connected lips, and I felt her tongue, wrapped around mine, and we were tender. Really tender. While the water, forced our skin to continue accommodating this gliding motion of fluidity between us.

We were making love, tenderly. Passionately. Slowly. The sky was our silence, the ocean was our voice.

Suddenly, she started working her own hips. She pulled up, held my shoulders, and looked at me in the eyes, while she was grinding into me. I'm weak. I'm weak, feeling her control me. Her head falls back, and she's moaning, and yelling, because no one can hear us. "Yessss. Yessss. Oh baby, you feel good." I watch her breast, and fully erect nipples, and grab her waist. I watch us, connecting. I look down, and can see where we connect. Watching myself slide in and out of her while she belly-dances into my body. Fuck we look like eternity.

"Look, Bonnie. Look at us." She looks at me, then down at us. She watched herself roll on my dick, and we both look at one another. "We look beautiful."

Bonnie nods her head agreeing, "MmHmm." She's hardly able to talk, trying to catch her breath. The dark water surrounds us, and all we are is the energy of the universe. And all we hear, is our sounds, along with slight sounds of waves crashing in the distance. Her breathing was getting heavier. I pressed her stomach against mine, and her chest against mine, looked her in the eyes. "Relax. I got this." I prompted her to stop moving. I grab her from behind, and gently rock her up and down. I'm sliding inside of her effortlessly, and making her feel me in my entirety, and this position is also making my shaft stimulate her clit. She starts to shutter. I hold her tighter. We feel each others heartbeat, we feel each other's breathing, we take each other's breaths. But I decided to swallow hers. Now ever single part of her is against every single part of me, and she's emotional.

Have you ever felt someone's stomach, when they breath against you, while making love? Our stomached pressed together, and I feel everything inside of her, not just sexually, but spiritually. And now, I see what Bonnie meant, by connecting to someone on this deeper level. I see why she became an addict in this way. This is addicting. Feeling her emotions, her body, he heart, her breathing, her thoughts, her muscle tension, and relaxation, her control, my control, the way we speak without speaking... of course, I can become addicted to this feeling. I already am addicted to this. It's everything. She's everything, and I want all of her like this, forever.

Our kissing never takes a back seat.

Her emotions are running down her cheeks, and I taste them in our kiss. I pull my lips off hers and move to her ear, while I penetrate the depth of this woman's shallow, body, and make her feel like she was made for me. I hold her tight, and tell her without fear, for the first time since the poem, and for the first time, in plain words, "I love you. I love you. I fucking love you." I repeat, emotionally. I know the words resonate fiercely inside of her. Her tears are raw, and unstoppable, and I kiss them away. Then look her in the eyes, "I love you. All of you. I love you so much. You're everything, I need, Bon. My everything." Her stomach is pressed to mine, she's breathing heavy, and I feel it tighten. She wraps her arms behind my neck, and her hands clasp the back of my head. Her nose is pressed to mine, and she starts to moan again. I need her words. I need to hear her words, because right now, this is the most intimate, I've ever been, and I'm ready to melt inside of her. Then she speaks, and breathing again.

"Oh yes. God yes. Your so deep. Don't stop, Damon please. Make love to me."

"Do I feel good inside of you?"

"Yes." She shutters.

"Do you love me?"

"I do. Oh, I love you so much." Her lips speak, against my lips, and it drives me crazy.

I begin fucking her deeper, and faster. She tries to fight the feeling but I clutch her inside of my grips. And when all the muscles in her body tense up, it sends the cue to mine. And she clenches my dick muscle, with her strong pussy muscles, and I almost grind my jaw, in excitement, squeezing her to death. "Bonnie, I'm about to cum inside of you."

"Yes... me too. Please, fill me up, give me everything, I want all of you. Damon. Everything." She looked me in the eye and that was the final draw, as her pussy squeezed me, I couldn't hold back anymore. We both began letting it all go at the same time.

"Ahh ahh, fuck." Parts of my body jolts further into her body. "Oh god, baby, your pussy feels so... fuuuuuuuuckk. Haaaa haaaa... fuuuuck. Fuck. Oh my God Bonnie..."

"Ahhh, yesss. Yesss, please... oh my God, Damonnnnn. Ohhhhhhhhhhh, Goooooddddd." She cries after her orgasm. And her body twitches a little. And I hold her through it, because her orgasm is longer than mine. And that has become one of my favorite things about her. She takes her deep breaths, until she calms.

We hold each other for minutes of silence. Just exhausting the last of our breaths, into the atmosphere, of our heated session. After a few minutes, I spoke.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded her head yes, but out of breath. "You?"

"I feel like a fucking King."

She smiled, and kissed me. "My king."

And I kissed her back, longer and deeper. "My queen." She bit her lip, and smiled. And those emerald eyes were sparkling in the moon. I kissed her again, and again, and again.

...

We lay in her bed talking about the events of recent weeks. Making love to her for the first time, being able to love on her, openly, was the greatest feeling. I remembered what she said about affording her place, and needed to talk to her about it, before she made an irrational decision to sell. "Bonnie, I don't think you should sell your dream house. Let me help you with your mortgage."

"I may have exaggerated the truth. I'm not in jeopardy of losing this place."

"Why would you say that?"

"I was very serious about leaving, and I didn't want you to talk me into staying."

"What a dramatic way to make a point. I was clearly going to leave my home to keep you happy."

"I know you would've, and that made me realize you care for me. I'm sorry for being dishonest. I just couldn't bare living next to the person I loved, any longer, and watch them be happy without me. I want nothing more than for you to be happy. But, watching you, without me, would've been too hard. I would've left so you could live your life."

"I would've left, so you could be happy."

"We would've each left to keep the other happy."

"Yeah. I would've left. But, I know you'll be the happiest with me."

"Damon?"

"Bon Bon?"

"I have another guilty confession."

"What?"

"The day you tried to tell me about your ex, I had a feeling it was something awful. And I knew it was probably going to end us. I felt it in your energy all that day, and for a week before that. But, selfishly, I needed to have you once before it all ended. I mean, I didn't know it was going to be what it was. I thought you were going to tell me Elena was having your baby, or you got a job in Japan, doing photography or something. So, I had to make love to you once, before our tragic demise. I just..." she sat her body up, wearing only my shirt, and looked at me with tears in her eyes, "We felt too good to be true. Nothing good lasts for me. I wanted your body at least once, because, we felt tragic. I'm ashamed, to tell you, that I purposely made love to you, and selfishly told you I loved you, in hopes you'd be able to reverse the hands of time, to keep from delivering that bad news."

"So, you didn't mean it, when you told me you loved me?"

"No, I meant every word of everything I've ever said to you. I loved you from the day you came to my house, and put yourself out there for me. The day you told me you were willing to know what it meant to fall in love with me, and love me the way I deserved. I loved you since that day, when I told you, we were soulmates. No one had ever done that for me, and I knew that we were more than just words, and expressions, feelings and desires. And Lorenzo knew too. Which is why the blowup happened. I knew I wanted everything you were, and nothing less. You understand? I wanted it all that day. And I let the next six months go buy, just wanting to be honest with you. But being afraid."

I just lay there for a few seconds before sitting up, and looking her in the eye. How astonishing is her emission? "Bonnie?"

"Damon, I knew for a long time what I wanted from you, so things happened the way they did, because I couldn't go from having you everyday, to not having you at all. Which is why I wanted to leave."

"I never want you to leave me. I want you here, every day. I'm happy you were patient for me, and with me, and you making love to me that day, felt like my body was missing you, all these years. I felt like I was dehydrated until we made love."

"I gave you life." She giggled. But it was true.

"Hell yeah. And I'm not letting you sell your dreams. But I don't want to sleep apart every night."

"Well, we can take turns. Although, I'd much rather make love in your room than mine. This did used to be my parent's bedroom, and their marriage didn't end well. The energy shouldn't come into our relationship. Not to mention all the worthless sex, tenants have had here for the past fifteen years. I love this house, but, I didn't realize, that energy could carry over. Lorenzo attacked me here. It's not a house for long relationships. There needs to be a cleansing done. I just haven't had a chance to do it. Rid the house of bad juju. I don't want that for us. But I want this house, we just can't have sex here." She laughed.

"Juju, what are you a witch?"

"I'm a spiritualist, Damon. I'm all about good energy and putting into the universe what you want back."

"So, we can't have sex at my place... I've fucked every kind of woman in my living room."

"Bedroom?"

"No. Surprisingly. Just the living room."

"Oh..."

"Move in with me. We'll pay this place off, and you can turn it into your personal, project."

"What do you mean?"

"A private studio. You teach lessons, and you want to have your own production company?"

"Damon, that's crazy!"

"What, you don't see me in your future?"

"Not that. I'm never letting you go. I'm talking about buying this place and making it a studio. That would take a lot of money, that I do not have laying around."

"It was just a suggestion. We can come up with a million things. We have two beautiful homes. We will figure it out."

"Yeah. Okay."

"I love you."

"I love you too." We look each other in the eyes. And it's undeniable that I'm going to break her perception about having sex in this house. I move her body, against the head board, and make sure her back is right on it, then I crawl between her legs, and put them around my waist. "Damon, stop... not this house."

"Our energy is a hundred times stronger than what you feel here. We're not going to sell this place, so, let's change the energy."

"You know, I can't say no to you."

"Then just, let us, do our magic witchy women."

"Okay..." she gave me a challenging look, "give me what I need."

"Always." I pinned her body between me and the headboard. She didn't argue with me. I forced our connection to over power whatever she once felt there, and I made sure to do this in every room of her house, that week.

oOo

I was outside, playing fetch with Zozo, waiting for Bonnie to come home. A couple weeks had passed, and she was wrapping up her current dance project. The deal I made with DeVoe called for another photo shoot dedicated to Bonnie. She been excited about it for weeks now. So, with her project ending, I can finally start this opportunity with her. And, the first deal for my original works of her, was a hefty pay out. I was able to do something special for her. I don't know how she'll take it, but I hope she understands it's coming from a good place.

I saw her get back to the house. I run up the sand, and head inside when I saw which house she'd enter first. Once again, she came to my house waiting to be greeted by me. I welcome her with open arms, a hug, and the most meaningful lip pecks I'v become accustomed to daily. "Hey baby."

"Hey love. You smell... salty!"

"Yeah, I was playing fetch with Zo and he kept making me chase him to the water."

"Aww, such a good doggy daddy. Thank you baby." She kissed my cheek and stare at me with those eyes of hers, that made me want to rip her clothes off. But, I digress, because her look is giving me "concern" right now.

"Tell me what's bothering you."

"Damon, I just picked up two new private clients. Two full timers. Each requiring ten hours a week of training."

"That's great."

"Yeah, but, I'm running out of studio time. I think I'm going to start, searching for space rental somewhere."

"Why not just do it at your place? Save some money."

"Because, it's not a dance studio. I need a studio."

"What would make it a studio?"

"Ugh, brand new hardwood floors for a room. One ceramic floored room. Wall to wall mirrors. Dance bars. Built in sound system, bright lighting, to name a few. Air conditioning, that'll never be used but is necessary for the end of the day to air out the sweaty perspiration form the full day of dance and musk. Yeah, too much money baby."

"But, would you do that, if you have the opportunity?"

"I mean, sure. That would be amazing. I just, I haven't even spoken to contractors to price that out, and frankly I'm too afraid to hear a quote." She walked me right into the perfect opening.

"Bonnie, here." I handed her a folder with paperwork in it.

"What's this?"

"Open it." I watched her open it, skim over it, and the final page made her blink her eyes several times.

"This is the deed to my house."

"Yeah."

"It says, I own it out right."

"Yeah."

"But, how? I still owed a two hundred thousand dollars on it. How is it paid off?"

"Surprise!"

"Surprise? Damon, what is this?"

"Bonnie, I bought the house for you. Okay. I am sorry, I did this behind your back. I just... talked to your dad, one day, when he came by, and you left us alone for about twenty minutes to walk Zozo. As if I wasn't already nervous about telling him about us. But, I was afraid he was going to call me crazy, and I let him know... I wanted to do this, and that I wasn't gonna tell you, because you'd talk me out of it. And he helped me get it all done." She looked upset. She sat the paper work down, and just stare at me. "Baby, say something. I'm sorry, don't be mad. I promise, it was from a good place. I mean... I made a deal of a lifetime, thanks to you... and now-"

She wrapped her arms around me and hugged tears into my chest, soaking my shirt. She cried so hard, she was just... letting me hold her. "Why?"

"Because, Bon Bon. If I'm going to ever propose to you, I don't need you telling me, You want to focus on your end goals."

"Propose? Damon... stop." She giggled.

"I'm serious. I want you to know I support you and will do anything to help you achieve your goals. I'm giving you no room for disappointment. I'll take care of you. All you have to do is love me, the way you do. And please don't ever stop."

"Of course, I'll never stop. I don't know what to say."

"Say, you'll accept it. You can do whatever you want here. You own it. We can make it a studio, or we can start remodeling. I don't care, I'm here for you're dreams, Bon Bon. I'm here for what you want. I have everything I want, already. You were the only missing piece in my life."

"I'm speechless."

"Are you happy?"

"Beyond words. I don't know how to give you what you've given me."

"You've given me more, already."

oOo

I lay in the bed holding her, right now. A single white rose, at the head board. She sleeps, like she's exhausted. I had no more secrets. All I have, is me. Imperfect, and introverted to a fault. But she brings out everything in me. It's not forced, either. Naturally, Bonnie's energy, draws out mine. When I'm down, she's up, and when she's down I'm up, and we just kind of allow the other to be down for a little bit, but not too long, because we naturally, love to make each other happy. Her hair is thrown in her face, right now. And she lays tucked into my arm. She's slept at our place, for weeks now. For a while, before the remodeling, we were taking turns, every other night. But eventually, she found comfort being at my place at night, which is now our place, because our bedroom has an entire glass wall dedicated to ocean viewing, and she fell in love with falling asleep, staring at the reflection of the moon sifting in the water. Not to mention, we've agreed to renovating her place.

Today we are working on the house. Bonnie's place is being completely remodeled. We are turning it into a dance and photography studio. It was her idea that we both make that a place we can both truly work on our passions. We were inspired by each other, for each other, at this beach, so why not? We work on it every weekend together, and it's been such a learning experience for us both. We laugh, we fight, we cry, we motivate each other. Even through the difficult stages of this. We aren't perfect. This process has taught us a lot about each other. Our arguments and fights don't last too long. We never sleep apart, and she's already redecorated our entire bedroom. To fit us both. My white and black is now, our white black and yellow. Courtesy of her. Zozo, has his own area in our bedroom, designated specifically for him. But, he sleeps with us, most nights. Well, he knows when it's safe to be in the bed, and we he needs to just go to his area, because we "need" the space. But today, he serves a unique purpose, and I think I've trained him really well for weeks now. So, we'll see how my boy does.

She moves, and she has my full attention again.

Her body is getting warm, right now. Every time Bonnie's body gets too warm, she starts waking up. Her body overheats, she begins to move her irritated legs, and kicks the sheets, off. Then after a few minutes, the sheets come off the bottom half of her body, she turns her body away from me, and remains tucked into the side of me. Only her backside faces me. This prompts me to spoon her from behind, which she loves. We do this for twenty minutes before she speaks.

We play the waiting game.

She breaths, and sleeps, and breaths, and lets me hold her.

My mouth finds its way to her shoulder. And I breath into her neck for a few minutes, getting her used to me, and I usually, kiss her at this point. All over. Warming her body up, to my desire for her. Which, is equally matched with her desire for me.

My body decides if I want to be bothered with the sheets or not; most of the time, I don't bother, because I overheat immediately, when my lips touch her skin. I listen to her take a few deep breaths. That's Bonnie, preparing herself for what happens every morning we wake up to each other. And, I decide, if I'm going to make love to her from the front or the back. If she doesn't turn me over, and take over. But, today... not today.

Today, I've decided what I want. I reach for her wrist, and gently use it to turn her all the way onto her stomach. Then I pull her panties off her body. She's okay with this, because she's awake by now, and not stopping me. I use my lips in a devilish way to speak her, into a calm state. "Good morning baby." I whisper. "I know you hear me, and you're not going to speak, today. That's okay." I nibble her ear. "Just let me have my way with you, because, I'm not letting you leave his bed, until I'm full on you." She hums, gently enough to almost not hear, then I crawl over the back of her, and place myself between her legs. I don't need to perch her ass up, because my lady, already knows, how to get ready for her her man. She sticks it out, and wiggles it for me a little. "You little cock tease." I keep whispering in her ear, because it makes her pussy wet.

I'm going to finish explaining our mornings, after I share this side note. We both spoke to our therapists, about each other. Our habitually, hyper-sexually, addictive personalities. We were both spoken to, on a matter of both professional and personal opinion. Professionally, we were told, our addictive behaviors could easily translate to a need and fulfillment, of dependent love. That love, can become something consuming to a point, we develop the inability to want to look outside of each other for anything. That has a high probability, to keep us from choosing to grow from our sexual dependancy. But, on a personal level, our therapists also told us, we quite possibly found in each other, our perfect equal. That we fulfill six of the seven types of love that exist, according to Greek mythology. Agape(soul), Eros(body), Philia(mind), Ludus(friendship), Pragma(everlasting), and the sixth, is Philautia (self-love) which, both therapists have said, we help each other, to discover the deep self-love we didn't once understand. The only type of love we can't fulfill, which is the seventh, Storge (maternal/paternal) because, we simply don't see each other as our children. With that being said, any type of relationship, as pure and untainted as it is, has all of the potential to withstand the test of time and hardship. So, while our addictions in the past, have been from a lack of true connection, and deprivation of self-love, she and I have actually been able to grow from one another's addiction, given we each lacked different forms of nourishment. She is my soulmate, and I plan to spend my lifetime, giving her me, in my entirety, and accepting all that is her. We decided, we are healthy and good for each other. When you find, what we have, there is no higher love. Love is when two people, see the best, want the best, and make the best of what they have, in, for, and of each other.

Back to where I was... she readies her body for the arrival of mine. I push her hair up, and my lips find the crest of the nape of her neck. I gently bestow, moist kisses to that area, and slowly enough to give her goosebumps. Talk about setting the scenery. It's raining outside, and the waves are crashing into the shoreline. A heavy cloud sets over my house, shading the room, just so... and she feels me, waiting right at the cusp of acceptance. I make her wait. She continues to push herself into me, and I watch her quiet fight, for affection, but I won't give it to her. That's the beauty of us. We both want it, more than we've ever wanted anything. But we always keep it interesting, and exciting. "Maybe I'll be the cocktease." I say, letting myself poke her, then pull back. "You love it, when I make you ache... when I starve you out. I can feel your pussy muscles twitching."

"Hmmm." She bites her lip in frustration, and her moan syncopated to my sigh. So, I nibble her ear, softly, sensually. Her back arches more, and I feel her ass poking my abs. She knows my dick, loves how her ass feels against me. "Stop teasing." She speaks, in a low sexy voice.

"Stop, making it so hard to wake up next to you, and remain a gentleman." And now, I'm lost in a lustful trance. My mouth finds her back, and I start kissing it, biting it, licking it, and making sure my mouth gives her the kind of attention, she deserves. My palms lock in on the backs of her hands while my fingers intertwine in hers. Her back arched, deeper, her backside raises higher, her muscles tense, her pussy aches, and when she's the most vulnerable, I plunge inside of her wet euphoria.

"Oh baby." She moans into the pillow, and the moment I'm inside of her, I'm sharing the space with the sweet nectar she's filled with.

"Gimme some of that honey, baby. Make it wet for daddy."

"Oh God. Damon... please." She loves when I talk dirty. I grip her hands tighter, hitting it from the back. I feel myself, digging downward, and it's the best way to hit those depths, but, she knew I was weakening her, so she tried to close and bend her legs.

"No." I pushed them straight, and plunged again. Her body was my home, and she proved it to me. She used those thighs, raising her ass, and shook it from right to left, in a jiggle motion, and I felt it jiggle onto my abs, and when she does that with her ass, it drives me crazy. Then she allowed her body from that position, to pump up and down on me, and I swear she was a stripper in a former life. When she does this, I look down at her ass, while it makes a snack of my manhood, and she's so beautiful. In every way. I allow this controlled torture for a few minutes, before smacking her ass firmly, and sternly telling her to, "Turn over. I wanna watch your face, when it hits you." Slowly she gives me exactly what I want without removing me from her body. I'm simply amazed at the sheer will of this woman.

When our eyes meet again, she smiles, like an angel. I can't stop being fixated on her right now.

"Bring your body here." She whispers, watching my abs struggle to patternize my breathing again. I'm always eager to put my sweaty chest against hers. Feel her heartbeat, and her breasts against me... she's my better half.

I lower my body to her, and we look each other in the eyes. We both love this. We are fully connected and she's reading me and I'm reading her, and nothing, and no one matters but us, right now. We breath each other's air, and complete each other's thoughts during sex. "Baby, your body is everything." I tell her, when she palms my back, and lets the heels of her feet, hug my thighs, before she uses them to pull me closer.

"Tell me more..."

"I never want this to end, Bonnie. You're my everything."

She closed her eyes, and squeezed me harder. I just watch her, because I know how connected Bonnie feels by my actions and words. Sex, for Bonnie, is love. It's breathing, it's need, it's fulfillment. She is the most honest during sex. Even if she doesn't speak all of the time, her body tells me what she does and doesn't like. What she will and won't accept, what she wants, needs, and desires. Everything about Bonnie is communicated to me, this way. I know when she's having a bad day, her best day, an emotional day, or even, a good day. Her body communicates everything me.

And I understand her, because she is my drug. She is my addiction. Pleasing Bonnie, making Bonnie happy, is my happiness. "I feel you getting close baby."

"Damon, oh God, more, more... please." I thrust, and take her breast in my mouth, and she tenses up. "Baby! Kisses, I need kisses." Her toes dig into my legs, and that means her body can't control the orgasm that's about hit, even if she's trying her hardest. I slow down, and hold myself inside of her as deep as I possibly can. "Your cock, oh my god, your fucking cock, is paralyzing me!" she screams. This makes her pause, and when I feel her chest collapse, I dig, fiercely, forcing her screams of pleasure. If she wants me to kiss her through it, she squeezes my ass, and If she can't catch her breath she clenches my shoulders, and that's when whisper in her ear.

"Give me it baby. Let that pussy tremble, and cum for me."

"Oh fuck, fuck, fuuuuck." Then her pussy clenches my dick, and that signals me to let go of everything in those moments, and we both explode simultaneously, and she feels it, because she sighs, when she feels me fill her up, and hold her body like she's a life raft. She saves me and I save her, and we both live to see another day.

Breathing for minutes deeply, and she says it first, "I love you, so much."

And her honesty carries over for a while after sex. Although she's honest always, her raw, honesty and emotions are so giving, and real during sex and right after. I normally tell her I love her right back, but today, I whistled out for my boy. Zozo, runs to the bed. He jumps up and she screams. "Damon, why'd you whistle for him? You know I hate him to see us like this..." I just stare at her quietly. And she thinks I'm crazy. "Zozo, down! Damon, he's watching us." She keeps staring at me confused. I pull my body off of hers, and remain quiet, and she turns towards Zozo, and she tries to shoe him off the bed. I get my courage together, and when she grabs his collar, she looked confused. "What the hell?" She looked at the object around his neck.

A necklace

With a ring tied around it.

She stops and pulls it off. "Zozo... Oh my Go-" she looks at me

One white rose in my mouth, cheesy and totally unexpected. "Bonnie Bennett..."

"Damon-" she shakes her head, and looks at the necklace, when I take it from her hands, and hand her the rose. I start to undo the clasp, and pull the ring off. "What the hell?" She starts to cry.

"I never, want this to end, Bonnie. Ever. A year ago you moved next door to me, and I waited for you my whole life. I don't want anyone else. And I promise, to give you me, fully. For the rest of my life. You're all I've ever wanted in a woman. And my life, is meaningless without you. I've loved you since before I knew you. And will love you until the day I die. Will you, marry me?"

I slid the beautiful, yet simple band on her finger. When her hand covered her mouth, she just nodded her head, and wrapped her arms around my neck, and kissed me. We never stopped kissing. "Yes." Kiss. "Yes." Kiss. "A hundred times yes." She keeps kissing me. "I can't believe you."

"I can't believe us. This is the happiest day of, right now?"

"Hell no." She lays me back, and this time... she reminded me, of how we got here. She enables me. And I'm perfectly okay with the fact that she's my enabler. I'll die with this addiction to her.

Two sex addicts. Looking for something more. Finding everything, in each other.

This is far more than sex... but the sex is still everything.

Forever started today, and you could've never told me... my life would've turned out, like this.

THE END!

Everything happened in this chapter, all emotions, I hope were rightfully accounted for; from happy, to sad, to angry, to joyful. So, I know there were some errors that slipped right past me. Please be gentle. Thx for reading! Hoping you liked this story :)