She successfully avoided Jane for the next two weeks.

Well, not avoided him, exactly. They saw each other every day. But she was crisp and professional when they went on interviews together, and she shut down any overture towards non-work related conversation in the times between. Jane watched her like she was a bomb about to go off and for once didn't push.

She grieved for her relationship with Marcus in the traditional way, nursing her heartache in front of the TV screen with too much ice cream. Then she would go upstairs, stare at the bedroom ceiling, and think about Jane. Good luck, Teresa. Love you.

She saw Marcus twice before he left. He didn't treat her with anger on either occasion, for which she was profoundly grateful, but his sad kindness made the interactions twice as painful.

The first time, she took some of his things over to his place and they had a long talk. After a while, though, the conversation grew stilted and awkward, and the pain and hope mixed in his eyes made her feel like hell. She said good-bye and took her leave. Getting back into her car, she felt a pang of guilt and sadness in her chest when she realized she hadn't left any of her own belongings at his place to collect.

The second and last time was on his last day at the FBI when he stopped by the bullpen to say good-bye towards the end of the day. Lisbon got up when Abbott stopped him by the elevators to shake his hand and wish him well. She wanted to wish him well herself and she didn't want Jane sitting five feet behind her while she did it. She walked over to the elevators, her hands shoved in her pockets, and gave Marcus a tentative smile. Abbott looked at her and quickly excused himself. Marcus, busy staring at her, barely registered his departure.

They managed a couple of minutes of small talk before Marcus's phone buzzed in his pocket. He grimaced. "That's my ride. I should probably—"

"Yeah," she said quickly. "Of course." She hesitated, then said, "Good luck in D.C., Marcus."

"Thanks," he said, his face clouding over.

She blew out a breath. "I really want good things for you. You know that, right?"

He managed a broken smile. "Likewise."

She put her hand on his shoulder and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. "Take care of yourself, Marcus," she said softly.

"You, too, Teresa," he said, his voice wistful. "I'll—I guess I'll see you around sometime."

She forced a smile. "Yeah."

He got onto the elevator then. He punched the button for the ground floor and watched her with doleful brown eyes until the doors closed.

Her shoulders slumped when the doors closed and she bowed her head for a moment. She let her fingers come to rest on her cross, the familiar feel of the cool metal reassuring against her fingertips.

She inhaled deeply and collected herself. She let her hand fall from her cross and squared her shoulders, turning back towards her desk. Then she saw Jane on his couch and stopped dead.

Jane was sitting on his couch, cup and saucer clutched tightly in his hands, staring at her so intently she thought he might burn two holes through her like lasers from his eyes.

Shit. It looked like the grace period of avoidance was over. She dithered for a minute, trying to figure out if there was any possible way of escaping gracefully. Ultimately, she determined there was nothing for it—she was going to have to face him.

Crossing the expanse of the bullpen felt like a journey of a hundred miles. She couldn't decide whether to meet Jane's gaze or avoid it, with the result that she probably looked like she had some kind of bizarre tic as she made her way back to her desk. Jane didn't take his eyes off her the whole time.

He rose when she passed the briefing area and set his cup and saucer down with a clatter. Lisbon came to a faltering stop next to her desk. The next thing she knew, he'd taken two giant steps towards her and engulfed her in a hug so tight she thought he might squeeze all the air out of her lungs.

She could feel his heart thundering in his chest. "You're not going to D.C.," he said, his voice full of wonder.

He'd hugged her just like this when he'd pretended to shoot her.

She patted him on the back awkwardly, acutely aware that they were in the middle of the bullpen and not keen to have an audience for this particular scene. "No," she agreed. She dropped her chin to his shoulder. "You're just figuring this out now?" This was nothing less than shocking—she'd assumed he'd read it off her as soon as she'd broken it off with Marcus.

He shook his head into her shoulder, not giving any indication that he had any intention of letting her go any time soon. "I was afraid to ask. And the FBI gossips were frustratingly ill-informed on the subject. I kept getting conflicting information."

"How inconvenient for you," she remarked, rolling her eyes behind his back. Okay, yes, she had been avoiding him, but he could have just asked her.

His arms tightened around her. When he spoke, his voice was strangely croaky and hoarse. "Teresa. I was in agony."

She blinked rapidly, then thought again of the number of people who were most likely staring at them. "Jane," she said stiffly.

Sensing her discomfort, he let her go immediately. "Sorry," he said, his eyes shining at her. "Of course. You're right. Not the right place or time." He patted her arms, his eyes bright. "We can talk later. Whenever you want. I'm here."

She nodded jerkily. "Yeah. I'm gonna—" she gestured vaguely towards the exit. No way could she sit back down at her desk and focus with him staring at the back of her head after that whole scene.

"Yes. Good idea," he said, smiling a goofy, happy smile at her. "Long day. Time to call it a night."

Lisbon grabbed her stuff and hightailed it out of there, ignoring the curious glances of the other agents milling around the bullpen. As she waited for the elevator doors to close, she caught sight of Jane lying on his couch. He'd abandoned his tea and was resting with his head pillowed against the arm rest, his arms crossed across his chest, and a small, delighted smile on his lips.

Predictably, her heart softened at the sight of him. He was so god dammed beautiful. And he looked so happy. Happy that she was staying.

I meant it.

The elevator doors closed. She touched her cross and released a breath. She was sad about things with Marcus ending the way they had, but now that it was all over, a tiny part of her was relieved. Which meant it had been the right decision, in the end. She was still annoyed at Jane for all his lies and tricks though, and at herself for going over to the dark side and joining him in them.

As she drove home, his words played in a loop inside her head.

She needed more ice cream. She needed to think about the situation like a calm, rational adult.

Good-luck-Teresa-love-you-I-meant-it-you-have-no-idea-what-you-mean-to-me.

Then she would decide what the hell to do about Jane.

Xxx

The next day, Jane bought tacos for the whole floor. The whole thing turned into an impromptu party. Jane roamed around the bullpen, flashing dazzling smiles at everyone he met, performing magic tricks and doing things like advising the junior staff how to get on their bosses' good sides close to performance review time and matchmaking the lovelorn across units. Lisbon, standing with Abbott in the briefing area, shook her head to herself. He looked like he was about five seconds from busting out a piñata and raining down candy over everyone. Dammit. It was so hard to stay irritated with him when he was going around beaming at everyone like he'd just gotten the keys to Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

Fischer joined them, holding a plate piled high with nachos and the biggest taco Lisbon had ever seen.

"Did Jane have a personality transplant or something?" Kim said, taking a huge bite of taco. "I've never seen him like this."

Abbott cast a sidelong glance at Lisbon. "I think he got some good news he wasn't expecting," he said mildly.

Lisbon studiously kept her eyes on the crowd and said nothing.

"Well, I hope the personality transplant is here to stay," Kim said with feeling. "Watching him mope around here like he just lost his best friend was really bringing me down."

Lisbon winced internally but managed to keep her expression impassive.

"Of course, he's probably just happy that you're staying with the team, Lisbon," Kim continued around another mouthful of taco.

"Yes, I'm sure Patrick is happy Teresa is staying with the team," Abbott said with a light, ironic emphasis on the word 'team.'

Lisbon couldn't help herself that time. She shot him a glare.

Fischer, busy with her taco, missed the glare but heard the subtle allusion in Abbott's tone. "Oh." She looked at Lisbon and her eyes widened. "Ohhh."

"I don't know," Lisbon said, fed up with the innuendo. Were there teams that stayed out of each other's personal lives? Because she thought she might like to join one of them. "I think Jane just really likes tacos."

She excused herself then. She was going to go find Cho. He could be relied upon to not want to talk about any interpersonal drama. And then she was going to get another taco.

Xxx

After the taco party ended and everyone had gone back to work, Jane brought her a cup of coffee.

"Thanks." She took a sip. Black, with two sugars. Just the way she liked it.

Instead of going back to his couch, Jane hovered around her desk. "Lisbon," he started, then stopped. "Teresa," he said haltingly. He actually fidgeted. Lisbon stilled over her coffee and paid attention. He took a deep breath. "Can I take you out for an ice cream later?"

She considered the offer. They did need to talk. Ice cream might be perfect. Outside of the office would be preferable, and she didn't feel like getting into a fight with Jane at a restaurant. But it seemed important to meet somewhere that felt like neutral territory. And if he broke her heart again, she'd already have ice cream on hand—she was running low at home. "Okay," she said finally.

He let out his breath in relief. "Shall we meet at that ice cream place in the park at 8?"

"Sounds good," she agreed.

She really hoped her first date with Jane wouldn't come to blows.

Xxx

She didn't get dressed up. She went for a run to burn off some of her nervous energy (and to combat the effects of all the ice cream she'd been eating lately). After a quick shower, she threw on a pair of jeans, a faded blue t-shirt, grabbed her keys, and left.

Jane, on the other hand, looked quite different from the scruffy, rumpled creature she'd left on the couch earlier that evening. When she found him waiting for her by the ice cream cart in the park, he was cleanly shaven and wearing a freshly pressed three-piece suit.

"You shaved," she remarked when she saw him.

He looked caught out, as though part of him was hoping she wouldn't notice that he'd transformed his appearance for the occasion. "Yes. I thought it was time I spruced myself up a bit. What do you think? Is it an improvement over the beach bum look?"

Lisbon shrugged. "I liked the beard."

His face fell. He rubbed his hand over his chin as though wishing he could grow it back that very moment, just to oblige her.

Seeing his disappointment, she added, "I like the vest, though." Truthfully, Jane was maddeningly attractive in pretty much any incarnation.

His face lit up. He rubbed his hands up and down his vest, preening. "This old thing?"

That was when she saw he wasn't wearing his wedding ring. She stared, her eyes wide and round.

His hands stilled and dropped to his side. He cleared his throat. "Let's get our ice cream," he said soberly. "What flavor do you want?"

Jane ordered vanilla. Lisbon, vanilla chocolate swirl. They took their cones from the vendor and fell into step beside each other on the park path, silence heavy between them.

"So…" Jane said tentatively. "Where should we start?"

Lisbon had been wondering this herself. How did one start sifting through over a decade of things unsaid? She took a deep breath. "I think," she said slowly, "that I need to get a few things off my chest."

Jane grimaced, not in protest, but as though bracing himself for an assault. "That's fair."

"I've been angry at you for a long time," she said, taking a thoughtful lick of her ice cream cone. "But I was also angry at myself, because no matter what you did, I never stopped loving you."

Jane inhaled sharply. His free hand clenched at his side, but he did not interrupt.

"I hated you a little bit for that," she said, trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice. "For having that power over me. And for...abusing it."

Jane winced as though his head hurt him. "Teresa…I need you to know how deeply I regret hurting you. At the time, I thought I was protecting you. I was terrified of Red John coming after you if I didn't catch him. But I've realized more recently that I was also protecting myself, in a twisted, backwards kind of way." He took a deep, shuddering breath. "I was terrified of losing you, so I pushed you away. Because I didn't want you to realize the power you had over me. And that was the worst, most selfish thing I ever did, because you deserved to know that, at least, after all the other crap I put you through."

She said nothing, digesting this information. And then she was angry all over again, because she could have borne it all, if she had only known that one, critical thing for sure. She took another bite of ice cream and swallowed the pain.

"Maybe…" Jane swallowed thickly. "Maybe we should go through your grievances one by one. Work through them one at a time."

The idea had merit. She couldn't see any other way to move forward if they couldn't put the past behind them. She nodded. "Okay."

Jane looked nervous. "Go ahead, then. Doesn't have to be in any particular order—let's just get it all out there."

"Going to Vegas without telling me," Lisbon said immediately. She scowled. "Cutting me out for six months. And more than that, letting me worry myself sick that whole time."

Jane flinched, but looked determined. "Go on."

She didn't look at him. "Pretending to forget that you told me you loved me." That was a big one.

Jane looked like he had an ice cream headache. "And?"

"Manipulating me on that cliff in Malibu."

Jane pressed his lips together. "What else?"

Lisbon considered. "Asking me for my gun when you went after Red John," she said after a moment.

He blinked. He hadn't been expecting that one. He waited, but nothing more was forthcoming. "What else?"

Lisbon took another bite of her ice cream. "I think we hit the highlights."

"That's it?" he blurted out.

She glanced at him. "Do you want me to be mad at you for something else?"

"What about all the other stuff?" he demanded.

She raised an eyebrow. "Which stuff, specifically, are you referring to?"

He started ticking off items on his free hand. "Killing Red John. Helping Lorelei escape prison. Sleeping with Lorelei. Causing the CBI to implode. Letting Abbott arrest you. Running away for two years. And that doesn't even cover all the times I lied to you and tricked you in our ordinary, run of the mill cases, or any of the stuff I did in our first few years together."

She sighed. "Of course I wasn't happy about any of those things. But I've come to terms with them, in the time since. The CBI falling apart wasn't your fault. The Red John stuff…it got so complicated. I knew you were never going to have any peace if you didn't catch him, and by the end, with all that Blake Association stuff going on, I couldn't see any way to stop him but to let you unleash that devious brain of yours on him. I was so paranoid about everyone around me, I stopped believing that he could be brought safely to trial and be tried in a fair court of law. So I decided to help you. That was my choice, not yours. As for Lorelei… look, I thought your plan was insane, and I wasn't happy about you letting her blindside me in that interrogation. And yes," she admitted grudgingly. "I was a little jealous. But I didn't have any claim on you. It was easier to let go of that than the other, in the end."

"You did have a claim," Jane said quietly. "Part of the reason I let the Lorelei situation play out the way it did was because I was desperate to make sure no one found out about that claim."

"Yeah, that totally worked," Lisbon said sarcastically. "I got that, what with Red John asking for my head in a box."

He sighed. "I admit that particular scheme did not pan out the way that I planned."

Lisbon snorted. "So what else is new?"

He stopped and turned to face her. "Tell me about the gun."

"The gun?"

"You said you were mad about me asking to take your gun when I went after McAllister."

"You said you were going to use it as a prop," Lisbon said.

"Yes," Jane said. "I knew they wouldn't let me into the church without searching me. They'd never believe I would go in without a weapon, so I had to have one that I could give up, to make them relax and feel that they had the upper hand."

Lisbon's mouth turned down.

Jane watched her. "I don't get it. Of all the horrible things I've done to you, I wouldn't have expected that one to even register on the radar."

"You're a master pickpocket," she stated. "You could have gotten a gun off anybody for that. But you asked me for mine. You had to know it could be used as evidence against me once they processed the scene. It felt like you were giving me some kind of test."

He was silent for a long moment. "I…I think I was. I always coveted your trust, Teresa, even when I knew I didn't deserve it. But it wasn't a test of your loyalty, or anything like that."

She looked skeptical. "No?"

He shook his head. "I think somewhere, in the back of my mind, it was more a test for me than for you. I wanted to see if I had earned your trust, after all those years. No matter what happened, I wanted to take that knowledge with me to face whatever came next." His lips twisted bitterly. "A kind of parting gift for myself."

"A gift you gave yourself at my expense," she said harshly.

He closed his eyes. "Yes. I'm sorry."

"For that? Or the other stuff, too?"

"I'm sorry for all of it. I'm sorry for not telling you what I was doing in Vegas and for letting you worry about me all that time. I didn't think the con would work if you knew, and I wanted so desperately for the whole thing to be over. I thought if I gave up those six months, it would all be worthwhile because the chase would be finished at last at the end of it. But it turned out I miscalculated on that point. I'm… not proud of the things I did, then, or after. After the Vegas bit didn't work, I got desperate. I knew I had tipped my hand where you were concerned, and I was frantic to bring the whole thing to a close, to catch him before he could hurt any more people that I loved. I kept telling myself it would all be worth it, if I could just stop him. And the honest truth is that I'm still not entirely sure that was a mistake. Because as miserable as it was for both of us, at least you survived it. That was my nightmare, Teresa. That he would get you before I got him." He swallowed. "But don't think I discounted the cost. I hated every minute of hurting you. But to me, any price was worth it, as long as you survived, because I couldn't—" he choked a little. "I couldn't go on living without you."

"Jane," she said softly.

He dashed at his eyes with the back of his sleeve. "It really is as simple as that. I thought about you so much when I was on that island. I had two years to think about that 'meaning of life' type stuff and the only thing I knew at the end of it was that my life had no meaning or purpose without you. So I had to come back. I had to see you again."

"Why didn't you say anything?" she said, her voice pained. "Why did you drag me down to Texas and insist on working with me, and just…let everything go back to the way things were?"

He looked away. "Because I'm a coward. You were angry with me, justifiably so. I wanted us to find our footing again before I said anything."

"It was months, Jane. You couldn't have—" she stopped, emotion clogging her throat.

"I was a coward," he said again in a low voice. "I was terrified, Teresa. The idea of making myself vulnerable to someone, even you, scares me to death. And then Pike came along. He was clearly the better man, so I thought I should do the unselfish thing for once in my life and not interfere. But then I thought—after pretending to forget in that warehouse and then abandoning you that night in Malibu…you deserved to know how much you were loved. Even if you were going to leave with him, I wanted to give you that, at least."

She sighed. "Your communication skills suck, Jane."

"Granted," he said pathetically.

She looked at him. "You seriously didn't know I was going to stay until yesterday?"

He shook his head. "Nobody I asked knew anything for sure. I was afraid to ask Abbott. I figured he had to know because of some bureaucratic reason, but I was dreading the answer so much I couldn't bring myself to ask. And you were so upset after the Ridley case. You barely spoke to me. I thought you'd finally decided to wash your hands of me."

She sighed. "I was more upset with myself. Kidnapping a suspect and psychologically torturing him—that's not who I am, Jane. I compromised my principles because I knew your plan would work and we could save those girls. But I hated what I did to get those results."

"Because I persuaded you to," Jane said, upset.

She shook her head. "I wanted to blame you. I did, at first. I was so tangled up, trying to persuade myself I loved Marcus, and being afraid I might not be able to. When you told me you meant what you said all those years ago but still seemed to think I should go to D.C., it felt like you were trying to manipulate me again, just like that night in Malibu. I was hurt and angry. And then when the thing with Ridley went down, I was angry at myself. I wanted more than anything to turn all of that anger on you. I don't know, I think part of me thought that if I just got angry enough at you, the idea of leaving you wouldn't hurt so badly. And…I thought I had to leave. Staying and believing you didn't want me—I couldn't bear it anymore. I thought if I went with Marcus, I could come to love him, eventually. But that wasn't fair to Marcus. And in the end, I was the one who made the decision to help you."

"I wanted you," Jane whispered, his voice raw with pain. "You have no idea how much—" he inhaled sharply and appeared to lose the capacity for speech.

She looked at him inquiringly. "If you really didn't know… how'd you figure it out in the end?"

He looked at her, heartbreak in his eyes. "I saw him when you kissed him good-bye. He had the same look on his face at that moment that I would have had if you'd decided to leave."

"And despite all that, you were really just going to… let me go?" That had stung, more than she cared to admit.

He grimaced. "Well…"

She knew that look. "Out with it," she ordered.

"I may have concocted a scheme to revive a high profile cold case that was guaranteed to grind FBI bureaucracy to a halt and freeze all transfer requests," he said guiltily. "I had it all planned out. It was going to involve a secret code and three days in the Florida Keys at the FBI's expense."

"Yet again with the conflicting signals," she groused, taking another bite of her ice cream.

"I know," he said, shame-faced. "I'm sorry. Being unselfish really doesn't come naturally to me." He took a deep breath. "I truly am sorry for all of it, Teresa. Do you think there's any way I can possibly make it up to you?"

"I just want you to tell me the truth," Lisbon said, frustrated. "That's all I ever wanted."

"The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"

Lisbon rolled her eyes. "Yes."

"Okay." Jane looked at his ice cream cone. He'd been even less attentive to his cone than she had been to hers, and it had turned into a sticky, melted mess. He tossed the ice cream cone in a nearby trash can and turned to face her. He took her hand in both of his and pressed it to his heart. "Here it is." He looked into her eyes, his green-blue eyes clear and deep. "I meant it. I mean it. I love you. I'm in love with you. I want to make love with you. I want to—to throw myself at your feet and beg you never to even think about leaving me. I want to shower you with affection and hold your hand and kiss you every day for the rest of my life. And if you don't want those things, my heart might literally shrivel up and die in my chest, so I really, really hope that you do." His eyes pierced her. "What do you say? Do you think you could get on board with that?"

Lisbon's breath caught in her chest. She licked her lips, suddenly dry. "Uh, yeah," she managed. "Okay."

His face lit up. "Yeah?"

She nodded dumbly.

He brought the hand he'd trapped between his up to his lips and kissed her fingertips. He inched closer to her. "About this kissing thing," he began. "I feel the need to clarify."

Her brow crinkled in confusion. "You need to clarify kissing?"

"Yes. When I said I want to kiss you every day…"

Her eyes narrowed. If he tried to retract that sentiment, she was going to shoot him on the spot.

He kissed each fingertip in turn. "What I really meant was…once a day isn't going to cut it. I want kiss you hello when I see you after we're parted. I want to kiss you goodbye when we're about to part. I want to wake you up with a kiss each morning. I want to kiss you goodnight every night. And in between, I want to bend you over my arm and kiss you within an inch of your life every chance I get."

Oh, thank God. She relaxed. "Sounds like you're expecting a lot."

"Yes," he agreed. "I'm going to be very high maintenance. In fact, now that I think of it, I think I'm going demand a down payment of sorts. Let's say… twenty to thirty kisses a day for the first six months. Minimum."

Lisbon raised an eyebrow. "In that case, do I get an option to try before I buy?"

"I think that can be arranged," he said, stepping closer. He gathered her in his arms like an old-fashioned movie star preparing to ravish his starlet and bent his head to hers. His lips, cool and sweet, touched hers softly at first. Then his tongue, sweet and hot, found its way into her mouth. At the contact, he made a little noise in the back of his throat and pulled her closer. And then he proceeded to ravish her mouth so thoroughly Lisbon lost the capacity for rational thought.

All the intensity of her feelings for him, all the pain and heartache and laughter and affection fused together and zeroed in on all the points of contact between their two bodies, pressed together in the middle of the path. She swayed a little and kissed him back fiercely.

He pressed in on her, impossibly closer, and did this thing with his tongue—

"Oh, God," she groaned. "Where do I sign?"

His only answer was to slide his hands under her shirt and pull her hips tighter to him as he continued to devour her mouth.

Lisbon might have happily stayed there indefinitely, kissing Jane and not even caring that they were treating their fellow park-goers to a decidedly less than innocent display, but she was roused from her lust-soaked haze by the sensation of something cold and sticky dripping down the side of her wrist. Only then did she realize that she had been standing there with the rapidly melting remains of her ice cream cone awkwardly held out to one side while she buried her other hand in Jane's curls and kissed him so deeply she thought they might both drown in it.

At the sensation of the cool stickiness on her wrist, Lisbon made a small discontented noise and broke away. "Sorry," she muttered. She hastily disposed of the ice cream cone in the same garbage can where Jane had thrown his out, all without disentangling herself from him. Then she settled back into his arms as though she were afraid she might lose her claim to the location if she vacated the premises for too long.

Jane looked down at her with half-lidded eyes, looking slightly dazed. "Not a problem," he assured her. He took her hand and raised it, palm up, to his mouth. And then he touched his tongue to her pulse point and gave her wrist a long, slow lick.

The rasp of his hot tongue against the sensitive skin on the inside of her wrist sent a jolt of arousal straight through her.

She reached up on tiptoes and bit his lip, then twisted her hand in his and started dragging him down the path. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" Jane said, a little breathless as he hastened to keep up.

"Bed shopping," she said decisively.

xxx

Jane feebly tried to insist that he could pay for the mattress himself, but Lisbon wouldn't hear of it. She told Jane to shut up and handed the store clerk her credit card.

It was a little awkward to wrestle the bulky plastic wrapped package into the Airstream, and when they cut the plastic and the thing unfurled in the small space, it almost knocked her over. But three hours later, Lisbon thought to herself with satisfaction that the memory foam mattress had been worth every penny.

She'd pushed him down on top of it the minute Jane had gotten the sheets on, and they'd already made use of it three times in the handful of hours it had been in their possession. Four, technically, if you counted lying down in preparation to actually go to sleep. Which she supposed was the primary accepted use of a memory foam mattress, after all.

Now, she lay on Jane's navy blue sheets, her head on his shoulder, one leg thrown over his hip, and her hand over his heart. Jane lay with his eyes closed and a contented smile on his lips, lazily stroking his fingertips up and down her spine. She'd experienced few sensations more pleasurable in her life…most of them in the course of the past several hours.

She turned her head and kissed his shoulder, then rubbed her bare leg against his, marveling at this newfound closeness. She couldn't stop touching him. Judging by the way he tightened his hold on her and turned to kiss her on the forehead in response, the feeling was mutual.

"I love you," she murmured into his neck, burrowing closer.

He tipped her chin up and kissed her on the mouth. "I love you, too."

"God, it feels good to say that out loud, doesn't it?" she said in wonder.

He nuzzled her hair. "You have no idea."

"It's such a relief," she said. "I didn't know saying it would feel like this huge burden being lifted off me."

"We've been fighting it for so long," he said sadly. "Resisting it was sapping more of our energy than we knew."

She pecked him on the lips. "Here's to reclaiming our lost energy." She shot him a mischievous grin. "I, for one, can think of much better ways to put that energy to use."

He grinned back. "I support your energy reclamation proposal wholeheartedly."

"Glad to hear it."

He twirled a lock of her hair in his fingers. "I'd like to hear a little more about this proposal," he said. "So I'll know what kind of pitch to make when I'm circulating the petition."

She kissed his shoulder again. "Point one of my plan is to not try to argue myself out of loving you anymore. It's exhausting, and it's never worked. I'm giving up the strategy entirely and am just going to let myself be happy instead."

"Very reasonable," he said gravely. "I think I will follow your example and adopt a similar measure, myself."

"See, this is why we're good partners," she said, smiling into his skin. "We're always learning from each other."

"Mm," he said absently. His lips pressed together and his eyebrows contracted as though he were in pain.

Lisbon lifted her head and looked into his face searchingly. "What is it?"

He grimaced. "That's the thing. I haven't been a good partner to you. You've given me so much. When I think about what I've given you in return…"

"Well, you did buy me a pony," Lisbon said lightly.

"You said it yourself. I've lied to you, tricked you…" He shook his head. "I'm so afraid of losing you. To—to a stray bullet, to a better man. But when you stopped talking to me after the Ridley thing, it reminded me that one of the worst ways I could lose you would be just driving you away with my constant need to manipulate people, to manufacture illusions."

"Okay, point two in the plan is no second guessing the happiness with guilt and fear," Lisbon said severely. "I told you, I take responsibility for my own actions. I knew your plan with Ridley was a bad idea, but I went along with it anyway." She poked him in the side. "I'm not going to do that anymore, by the way."

"You don't want to be part of my plans anymore?" Jane sounded crushed.

She shook her head. "I'll help you with the normal, run of the mill crazy schemes. But I'm not going to compromise my integrity like that again."

"That's fair," Jane said quickly.

"I've been thinking about it, and I've come to a conclusion," she told him.

"What's that?"

"Well, we always did well back at the CBI when we argued over your crazy plans. Since you came back from your island, we've been so busy tiptoeing around each other that we haven't had any really good fights," she pointed out. "So we just need to keep fighting a lot, and everything will be fine."

"Huh," Jane said, bemused. "You know, I think that might actually work."

"You see? You're not the only one around here with brilliant ideas," she said in satisfaction.

He smiled a little. "I never doubted that for a second."

She snuggled closer to him. "So, what do you say? Think you can commit to fighting with me for the foreseeable future?"

He clutched her tighter to him. "With pleasure."