first time seeing his father happy

Chandler hadn't realized that his father was gay. He knew he was gay. He knew what the word meant, he understood the concept. But it wasn't like he knew a lot of gay people. He had seen his father with men – more times than what he would have liked – but he hadn't seen his father with a man.

Charles Bing had been staying at a hotel near the house. He had stopped coming back to the house, but sometimes he just wanted to talk with Chandler, or see him. It was the least he could do, he had said.

Chandler was walking in the streets, smoking as he did so. He liked being outside. He also liked being inside, in his safe little space. But he didn't smoke in his safe little space. He smoked when he wasn't safe, so he smoked outside. When he saw his father in the street, he froze, but his father didn't seem to notice him. Maybe he didn't see him enough to remember his face, Chandler thought. Not knowing why, he followed him. It wasn't for long, his father had just gotten out of a cab, with a man, and they walked a bit.

Chandler made eye contact with the other man, who was looking around, and almost ran back to his house. But the man didn't really seem to see him, and he reached out to Charles' hand. Chandler's father turned as their fingers intertwined, smiled sweetly at the man, and kissed him briefly. Chandler stopped in the middle of the street. He had never seen that smile on his father's face. He had never seen his father truly happy. It was unsettling.

They let go of each other's hands when their turned at the corner of the street, and Chandler saw a family coming towards him a few seconds later. He moved to let them pass and stayed dumbstruck against the wall.

Maybe Chandler had always known what gay meant but had never seen love. He had never witnessed how it could magically change someone's feature and whole face and lighten it up.

He lightened another cigarette and walked the opposite way his father had taken. He almost wanted to forgive him for running away, but there always was that bitter sensation that a son would never turn Charles as happy as Chandler had seen, if happy at all.