Author's note: Oh my god. It's been one year since this fanfiction? I can't believe it! It actually just feels like, I don't know, a few weeks hahah.. Okay well, I just found this chapter I actually had it finished all these months, but I never uploaded it. So yeah, here it is. The truth is, I don't relly like this chapter :/ Oh and I wondered if anyone is still reading this? If yes, would you like me to start writing again? Because I would actually start to work on this again if there are a few people who still want be to continue :)

Just let me know!

Disclaimer: I sadly own nothing of Percy Jackson.

p.s: sorry for grammar mistakes and so on. No one beta read this, so it's probably full of mistakes :'D

Chapter 4 - Don't let me drown

One more moment of this silence
The loneliness is haunting me
And the weight of the worlds getting harder to hold up

It comes in waves, I close my eyes
Hold my breath and let it bury me
I'm not OK and it's not all right
Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again

Who will fix me now?
Dive in when I'm down?
Save me from myself
Don't let me drown
Who will make me fight?
Drag me out alive?
Save me from myself
Don't let me drown

They sat silently at the little dining table, each one of them, lost in their own thoughts. Percy knew that both were worried about him, but what could he do to convince them of the opposite? Was there even any way to convince them that he was doing well? Probably not. Didn't parents have a sense of their children's misery? Well, from his father Poseidon he could not expect anything. But his mother, she always knew when something was wrong with him. He didn't like to admit it directly, but Percy himself knew something was wrong with him.

It was getting worse from day to day, and so slowly he wondered if this feeling was not a side effect of falling in Tartarus. It didn't sound so illogical, actually it would explain a lot. But if he felt that bad because of the Tartarus, why didn't Annabeth felt the same way when he saw her the last time? Or maybe she did feel like him, and he just didn't notice it? He shook his head. No, he didn't want to imagine Annabeth going through the same shit. She was strong, stronger than he ever was.

"Percy?" Paul's voice tore him out of his thoughts. Just as lately, Percy was always busy with his thoughts and not with what was happening around him.

"Yes?" Percy replied, looking confused in Paul's face.

"Your mother and I, we thought about the fact, that it would be a good idea if you go back to school as long as you're staying here."

Percy sighed. He had expected that this would probably be an issue at some point. Of course he couldn't sit in his room all day, even if he would do it all too much. But whether he wanted to or not, he had to go back to school. Paul and his mother were only polite enough to express it as if he had a choice, but of course he didn't.

"Yes, I had already expected that," said Percy while he took another bite of his blue pancake. He usually enjoyed every bite, but now it just felt like he was eating a piece of coal.

"So you agree? That's good! Then you should already get ready."

Percy almost swallowed.

"What? Already today?" He hadn't expected that. He thought maybe next week, or as soon as the new school year was about to start again and not in the middle of the school year. Above all, he had no idea how he should catch up with the whole stuff. Percy was not stupid, but his ADHD and dyslexia did not make his life any easier. Even though these were his strongest qualities as half-god, as a human being though, they were not really helpful.

"Yes,today. But you don't have to worry about anything. The students there are used to the new classmates. Everything will be fine, I promise. And if something goes wrong, I willl always be there to help you, if you need it."

Percy slowly dropped his fork and nodded.

"Okay. Then I'll go and get ready." Slowly he got up and went back into his room.

He had been awake all night, and now had to go to school again. That could only end in a catastrophe. But apart from that, Percy hoped that this time no monsters would appear.

Because this would mean to him that he had to go back to the camp and he was definitely not ready to return, even if he terribly missed Annabeth.

Percy quickly pulled on a blue shirt with a V-neck, slipped into a pair of black jeans, and stuffed a notepad, that was still in his room, into his backpack.

"Percy!" Paul shouted from the kitchen.

"Yes! I'm coming, "Percy said, and went out of his room with a sigh.

Percy watched as single raindrops fell down the windows off the car. It reminded him of a game which he had played as a child again and again, when he had drove away with his mother. Admittedly, it was not really a real game, it was just a matter of guessing which raindrop was faster and would arrive the bottom first. It was nothing special, but Percy had played it again and again, and now it calmed him down in a way. He was nervous, no question. He would once again be the new one and he already knew that everyone would consider him a freak, it was always like that. But Percy could not blame them. As soon as he appeared, only terrible things happened. That was his life.

And yet, again he wondered if it would be different now that he had no more powers. Maybe the monsters would not be able to track him now, but Percy didn't know for sure of course. He just hoped that for one time in his life, something would be normal.

"Everything okay with you?" Paul snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Yes, I'm just a bit nervous, but it's okay," Percy replied.

Paul smiled at him, cheerfully.

"Don't worry, Percy. Everything will be all right. And if something happens, I am still there."

Percy knew he wanted to cheer him up, but the very fact that Paul would be there too, did not make it much better either. It was one thing thing to be stunned at, because you were being persecuted by monsters or something like that. But it was even worse to drive together with your teacher to your school, because he was the boyfriend of your mother. Whether monsters would appear or not, Percy would definitely be a hot topic again.

After a few minutes, Paul turned into a street, and immediately Percy saw the small building from the Goode High School. Immediately he felt his palms begin to sweat. He would catch all the attention and Percy hated to be the centre of attention, especially if all he really wanted was to be left alone.

"There we are," Paul said, and the two of them got out of the car and went to Percy's new school.

Percy looked at the school. It looked like a typical American school, to be exact, it looked like in any other school he had been before. On the sides of the corridors were the various lockers, each one of them was differently decorated, and you could already see at first sight which one was from the boys and which from the girls.

Percy envied them in a way, he'd never been in a school long enough to specialize his own locker. But this time he set himself the goal of hanging at least one photo.

There were still a few students in the corridors, who were standing together in small groups and threw some curious gaze into his direction. A group of girls giggled as he passed them and Percy wondered why. Even when he was almost out of reach, he still heard the giggling and whispering of the other students. Percy immediately felt uncomfortable. He had left the camp exactly for this reason, he did not want to be the "freak" again. But no matter how much he hated it, he had no choice.

"Okay, Percy. I have to leave you alone. My lessons start now and I still have to prepare a few things for my students. But I see you after school and then you can tell me everything about how your first day was, okay? "Paul said.

Even before Percy could give him a correct answer, Paul turned around with a last smile and disappeared in the corridors of the school. Now Percy stood alone in front of the door leading to the rector, and for a moment, he seriously thought about turning around and marching out of school. But the good sense prevailed and he knocked at the door.

Immediately a deep voice answered, "Yes, please?"

Percy squeezed the cold door latch down and walked straight into the probably most colourful office he had ever seen. The walls were painted in a blue and red colour, and were decorated by many different pictures and prizes. Everywhere there were small figures, books and plants. Percy was not a son of Aphrodite, but even he realized that the colour combination of the walls did not match the yellow armchair. The desk, on which an elderly man with a long black curly hair and beard sat, was soaked in a light orange tinge. With all the colours and objects that were in this small space, Percy did not know where to look first. Paul could have at least warned me, Percy thought.

"Ah, Mr. Jackson! Come in and take a sit! Mr. Blofis had already announced you and told me some very interesting thing about you."

It didn't surprise Percy that Paul had spoken of him. Paul thought that Percy was a nice, wonderful, and of course very special young man, even if Percy would definitely not assert himself. He knew that Paul meant only good to him. And that was one of the things that Percy liked about him.

"Uh, thank you," Percy murmured a little awkwardly and took a seat opposite the Rector. "You have a very ... nice office."

The man laughed loudly, which made Percy slightly flinch. In some way, he reminded him of someone, but Percy did not know exactly who. But something of his appearance and character seemed familiar to him.

"Welcome to Goode High School! I'm rector Stark, "said the man in a loud voice. Percy wondered why they would hired such an old, crazy man as a school director. He could not imagine how he was to lead a serious school, let alone how he had the students at his fingertips. It was a mystery to him.

"Okay, Percy. Mr. Blofis told me that you already visited some different schools? Oh, I can say Percy to you, can't I? I mean, you're such a handsome young man, "he said, laughing again, and the desk in front jerked slightly.

Percy forced a smile. "Yes, of course, Percy is okay. And yes, I was already in some schools .. "Percy muttered. He was absolutely uncomfortable to talk about this. It was always hard to explain why he had been to so many schools. At the same time, he was already preparing for a long lecture on his past, which in the end only meant that he flew out of the high school before the day was over.

"Ah, well okay. That is absolutely no problem! Most of our students here have been at many, different schools for various reasons. But here, at Goode High School, it doesn't matter what happened in your past. Here you get a second, or even tithe, chance. ", He replied, laughing again.

Percy was surprised. He had not expected that.

"But I do not want to stop you any longer! I just wanted to see your face. I think we are going to see each other more often over here, or maybe not."

"Okay, thanks .. But where exactly am I supposed to go now?" Percy asked confused.

Immediately Mr. Stark began to laugh again.

"Oh, God, I forgot to give you your things!" He stood up jerkily, his thick belly showing up.

"Here you go," he said, handing Percy a stack of books and his timetable.

"Oh dear. So late already ?! I need to go now. I have an important meeting! Have fun, Percy Jackson. We'll see each other. "And with that he went out with a hasty step.

What a weird guy, Percy thought.

He took a look at his timetable and realized that he now had two hours of art in the basement with a Mrs. Rose.

Percy never really had anything to do with art, but it was certainly much better for him than literature or Math. Sighing, he went back to the now empty hallways. As there was only one, single staircase that led down, Percy walked toward it and slowly went down.

He was standing in front of a wooden door. The cellar had been expanded and the walls were painted in a light grey tone, on the contrary to the colourful office, and were decorated by many, simple works of art.

Carefully, he knocked at the door and prepared himself for the look of the others.

"Yes, please?" said a friendly, soft voice. Percy opened the door and stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"Oh hello! Can I help you somehow?" asked a young woman, who had braided her blond hair into a plait.

"Um, yes," said Percy. "I am Percy Jackson, the new student. My timetable says, I now have art with a Mrs. Rose?"

"Oh, of course, I am Mrs. Rose! Just come in and sit down in the free seat. "

Percy nodded and turned to the free seat in the last row. Quietly, he took a seat. The eyes of the other students straightened again, only a few still looked at him curiously. Percy also recognized a few faces that he had seen before in the hallway. This included the three girls who giggled as crazy as he passed them. Now, however, they paid no attention to him.

"Okay. We have just talked about free art and what it can express. Today I want something very special from you. Each one of you will now take a note from my bowl. On it you can find the name of a song. "

Immediately, most of the students started whispering wildly. Percy, however, had no idea what was going on.

"I want you to listen to this song, which is on the note and to paint a picture, which comes to your head. But it should also have something to do with your life. Something that touched you, positive or negative. Perhaps also an event in your life which has made you the person you are today. Understood?"

Percy did not feel so well about this job. He had just arrived and already had to share his deepest feelings.

"Well, then I'll give the bowl around. And everyone please just takes one note! And it will not be exchanged or anything else. If you have a note, please raise your hand so I can give you an mp3 player, where you can find the song."

Some students sighed annoyed, while others seemed to be happy about the song they had drawn. When the box arrived at Percy there was only one note left. Slowly he opened it: Drown by Bring me to the Horizon.

That has to be a joke, Percy thought, and ran his fingers through his black hair.

How much bad luck could he have? How many students were they, 27? Or more? And exaggerated he had to pull a song with this title. Percy did not know the song, but the title already said a lot.

"And Percy, satisfied with your song?" Mrs. Rose asked, looking at him with a smile. Percy tried to smile too.

"Um, I do not know the song. But it'll be okay I guess, "he replied. Mrs. Rose nodded to him and handed him one of the Mp3 players, some colour, brushes, and a blank canvas. Percy would prefer to leave the screen empty. For, to be honest, there was no better way to show his feelings than a blank piece of paper.

Sighing, Percy took the headphones into his hand and hit Play. Immediately the music roared in his ears and the first verse clang like an echo in his head. Without thinking about it, he began to paint. First one stroke, then another. He did not have a precise plan for what picture he would see in the end. He was not even sure if the picture he drew made any sense. After all, this was Percy's first attempt to paint a picture. I mean, he was not the son of Apollo and was that creative. But he also was no longer the son of Poseidon, that he at least believed, now that his powers were gone.

After hours of percussions, Percy stopped and looked at his picture. It was not very good, but not as bad as he had expected.

"That looks really good," Percy suddenly heard Mrs. Rose's voice behind his back.

He took the headphones out of his ear and stopped the song. "Thank you," he replied simply.

"And? Does it have a deeper meaning for you? Or is it just a normal painting?"

Percy played with the cable of the headphones in his hand. Would it be a wise idea to tell her the truth? Of course not the whole truth, just a little part of it? But then he remembered that Paul was working here and probably would hear about it. So he just shrugged and shook his head.

"To be honest, no. It's just a picture that matched the song."

Mrs. Rose looked at him sceptically, but then smiled.

"Okay, but still, good work. Okay, that was it for today. Just leave everything at your place, I'll clean it up for you, since tomorrow is weekend and you all desperately want to go home. "She said, winking at the class. Immediately everyone packed their things together and ran out of the door.

"Uh, don't we have any more lessons today?" Percy asked, as all the students had already left the classroom.

"Actually yes. But since Mr. Stark is not here today, with whom you would actually had history, you can leave a little earlier than normally. ", Mr. Rose responded and smiled at Percy in encouragement. "I know it's stupid to be the new one. But believe me, you'll soon find great friends and feel like home here. "

Percy smiled. He knew she meant it well, so did everyone else, but Percy had already a home. The Camp. And that he realized now. This here, it was not his world, it would probably never be. But could he just return to camp? The fear of being no longer a half-god, made him feel uncertain. Was he still welcome there at all? Probably not.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Percy replied, turning her back without another word and leaving the classroom.

On the way home, Percy and Paul didn't talk much. Paul, however, always tried to start a conversation. He asked him about his first day and if he had liked the art lesson. But Percy had no desire to talk about it. He felt as if he had no home any more, no shelter. The ocean, which had always awakened the feeling of a home in him, now only made him feel fear. At the camp, he felt like an outsider, just like in this school. And slowly, Percy wondered where his place was, what his quest was?

He had spent most of his life doing tasks for the gods, as a hero. But now that he had no task, no prophecy, he did not know what to do. Especially now that he couldn't even control the water any more. Who was he? His father had probably already forgotten him, which Percy would understand. He was no longer a son of Poseidon.

He was just Percy. No half-god. No hero.

He was just nothing.

So, what do you think? Should I start writing again or better not? Let me know 3