Disclaimer: I do not own the Marvel Cinematic Universe or any of its characters found in this story. What is written here is for entertainment purposes only. No infringement is intended and this story is not for profit.

Happy

The minute Peter arrived in the Avengers' lab, he knew something was off.

For one thing, Mr. Stark was in some kind of funny looking polka dotted, gray pajamas and Peter's Spidey suit wasn't laid out on the table like it usually was when an upgrade was scheduled.

"That's not my new suit is it?" asked a worried Peter, his eyes trailing all over the pajamas.

Mr. Stark glanced up at him, confusion flashing across his face. "What?" He glanced down at his unusual garb. "Oh, no. This is for Bruce. If he ever comes crawling back here. What are you doing here? In the neighborhood, thought you'd stop by?"

It was Peter's turn to be confused. "We have an upgrade scheduled. You texted me, remember?"

"Oh, crap. I forgot." Mr. Stark glanced around, thinking about what to do. "Come back in two hours."

Peter's eyes widened. "Two hours? What am I gonna do for two hours?"

Mr. Stark cocked his head. "Hmm." His eyes brightened. "I'll put you on Happy Time." He turned away from Peter. "Fri, have Happy come to the lab."

Peter immediately understood what Mr. Stark had in mind and began to protest.

"Mr. Stark, I don't need Happy to babysit me. I mean, we don't need to bother him. I saw him on my way up here. He was on Downton Abbey Time and I don't really wanna interrupt such an intimate… screening. I can just do my homework while I wait."

Mr. Stark put up a finger, effectively silencing Peter's babbles. "Let me stop you there because the words that are coming out of your mouth make me want to hurl. A: Homework's boring. They still give those out? B: Happy's seen all the episodes of Downton Abbey, he won't be missing anything. And C: last time I left you without supervision, you hacked a multi-million dollar suit and went after a supervillain."

Peter folded his arms and nodded. Mr. Stark had a point there.

Peter's relationship with Happy had somewhat improved after the Vulture fiasco, but Peter knew Happy wouldn't be keen on watching him for two hours. Especially not if he could spend those hours watching his favorite TV show.

A minute later Happy walked in, not too pleased at his Downton Abbey marathon having been disrupted.

"He's on Happy Time," Mr. Stark said to Happy by way of an explanation. Either he saw the look on Happy's face and didn't care or he saw the look on Happy's face and wanted to exacerbate matters. "Two hours. Think you can handle that?"

Happy gave Mr. Stark a deadpan look. "What are we gonna do for two hours?"

Peter nodded. "That's what I said!"

Mr. Stark shrugged, turning to the heads-up display and studying the data that the Hulk Pajamas must be giving out.

"I don't know, learn how to drive a car. You're a teenager. You must be dying to get behind the wheel. Two hours and I swear I'm all yours."

Peter and Happy turned to look at each other.

This was going to be some two hours.
...

"I'm driving that?" asked an incredulous Peter, his lips quirking upwards. His apprehension at spending two hours with a sour Happy turned into excitement.

He and May have gone driving before in parking lots, so he wasn't really looking forward to relearning how to drive even if it was in the Avengers' compound. But driving an Audi, that's... Wow.

The last Audi he drove had been stolen from Flash. The fact that he was chasing after Liz's dad at the time also meant he didn't get to milk that car for what it's worth. It had barely even registered to him that it was an Audi.

Peter continued to stare at the Audi. If his memory served him right, this was Mr. Stark's car—a prototype. Audi wasn't even selling this yet!

Peter exhaled. "That's worth more than May's apartment!"

But Happy was probably too used to the once-in-a-lifetime Audi that he barely empathized and simply told Peter to get in the car.

"Can I just— a photo— Ned would freak!"

Peter giddily took a selfie of himself with as much of the car as he could fit in the background. Then he took another one of the car alone. He sent it to Ned with the message, "GUESS WHO'S TAKING DRIVING LESSONS IN THIS BABY?"

"Get in the front seat," said Happy a second time, the impatient tone he used was something Peter was more than familiar with. Sometimes, Happy reminded him of an annoyed older brother.

Peter cautiously approached the car. He ran his palm over the car door, his fingers cradling the door handle.

Happy gave him a blank stare. "You know you've ridden in this before."

Peter shrugged. "I know. But I was just a passenger during those times. Now, I'm the driver." He said the word in an exalted whisper.

Finally, they both slid inside the front seats of the car.

As soon as Peter shut the car door, his hands approached the wheel. He caught himself midway and drew his hands back, going instead for the seatbelt.

He checked his mirrors and then looked at the array of buttons on the dashboard. Unfamiliar buttons.

He turned to Happy.

"I've never driven an Audi before," Peter lied. Happy didn't need to know the last Audi he drove got wrecked. "I've only ever driven May's Honda."

Peter turned to look at the buttons again. He had a sudden yearning to have Karen in the car with him. Give him a refresher course.

Happy took a breath and proceeded to point out what the buttons do.

Peter nodded, taking particular attention to the button that said "AUDI AI." He bounced in his seat in anticipation.

His phone beeped and Peter took it out to read what Ned texted back.

Then his phone was snatched from his hands.

"Rule number 1," said Happy, "No texting while driving."

"But I wasn't even driving!" exclaimed Peter and then added, "yet."

"It's a preventive measure. Come on. Show me what you got so far."

Peter grinned. He started the car, took a moment to relish in the smooth vibrations, and then he began to drive out of the parking lot.

Beside him Happy nodded, impressed.

"May taught you well."

Peter shrugged off the praise. Then feeling a little bit bold, he pressed the AUDI AI button and watched as the auto-drive function rotated the wheel for him.

Peter gave Happy a triumphant, proud look.

Happy shook his head, unimpressed. "Don't do that."

"Why not? You did it before!"

"Because I know how to drive. And you don't. You need to learn how to drive before you do that."

Peter sighed, disabling the function and placing his hands back on the wheel. "But what's the use of crawling before walking when you can run?"

Happy frowned, his eyebrows knitting together. "What does that even mean? Did Tony teach you that?"

"No. But I mean, if you have a car that can drive itself, why not just let it?" Peter looked at Happy.

"Eyes back on the road." Peter did as he was told while Happy continued, "Because in an emergency, you need to learn how to drive."

"I have spider powers. I think I'm good during an emergency."

Happy snorted. "Alright. What if you're in a patch of land, without any trees or skyscrapers to swing on and you're chasing a bad guy. You need to drive a car. The first car you see doesn't even have an auto-drive function. But you can't drive it because you didn't learn how to like a normal person."

"I see your point." Peter conceded. After a moment's silence, he said, "You know what's cool about a self-driving car?"

Happy looked like he would rather Peter kept driving and shut up, but he humored the teenager. "What?"

Peter glanced at Happy and smirked. "I can change into my suit while it drives itself."

Happy admitted with a lopsided quirk of his lips that that was an advantage.

"I mean, think about it! No more ducking into alleys. I can cut the transport time by a minute! I could be like Mr. Incredible when he was on his way to his wedding but had to take a detour because a cat was stuck up the tree. D'you remember that scene?"

The stare Happy gave him said a lot about what he remembered.

"You've never seen that movie? That movie was legendary!" Peter calmed himself. "But it's cool if you've never seen it. You're more of a period film kind of guy, right?"

Peter didn't think Happy was going to reply but then the big, burly man admitted that he's seen The Incredibles and it made Peter's heart swell with pride.

"Hey can I bring my friend Ned over sometime?" asked Peter suddenly, remembering what his friend texted him before Happy took his phone away. "He wants to drive the Audi too. I bet he's gonna have a cargasm when he sees this. He knows cars my Ned."

"I'm not letting your weirdo friend climax in this car."

Peter started, narrowly swerving out of the lane. "Ew! What? Ew! No! That was an expression! It's not literally— ugh! Gross!"

Happy allowed a triumphant smile to grace his face at the look on Peter's face.

Peter glanced at him and caught on. "That was so not cool. I was about this close to ruining Thor's Asgardian lawn designs."

They continued to drive around the compound, with Happy occasionally reminding Peter to use turn signals.

Finally, Happy decided it was time to practice parking.

"Check this out, my young Padawan," said Happy, leaning over to press another button on the dashboard.

Peter's jaw dropped.

The car was parking by itself.

But Peter wasn't thinking about that, although the auto-park function was pretty cool, he'll admit. But besides that, he was thinking more about the Star Wars reference Happy just made.

Peter grinned. The Incredibles and Star Wars?

Sometimes Happy reminded him of a cool older brother.