Author's Note: And now for something different…not completely different, but different nonetheless. I give you a whole chapter of the Agents and Elrond. Enjoy. :]

***

Smith sighed as the two headless weird men roamed around his office, bumping into things and cutting them to ribbons with their swords. It was almost enough to make him miss Jones and Brown. Almost.

He wondered what had become of them and smirked. Hopefully something horrible. That or they were succeeding with apprehending one Thomas 'Neo' Anderson. This man had caused them enough trouble already.

He hid the jellybeans in a locked drawer in his metal desk which his two new idiot henchman couldn't slice through with their swords before picking up Jones' battered copy of The Lord of the Rings. He hated to admit it, but the book could actually have its uses. Particularly when if came to discovering what these two numbskulls were.

***

"For the last time, I'm not A'gent S'mith!" Elrond said rubbing his temples. He wondered why humans were so ignorant. They should be the ones having to leave not Elves. It was really getting on his very last nerve.

"Oh and who are you supposed to be then?"

"...Elrond the Half-Elven."

".....Oh...."

"I said that before too."

"I guess we weren't listening."

Elrond scowled. "You pulled my ears, wasn't that proof enough?"

"We're computer programs, Mr. Elrond, so that doesn't entirely prove anything."

"You idiot! He doesn't know what a computer program is! Besides, Smith didn't eat any jellybeans..."

Elrond wondered if this Smith was some sort of enlightened leader in the M'atrix. He must be to stir up such awe in those that followed him...or fled from him...or continually tried to maim him with shiny black metal things called guns. "Well, good sirs, now that that little matter is cleared up, I trust you'll be on your way?"

"Well, actually...we sort of need to locate a man named Thomas Anderson."

"....He doesn't happen to look like someone else does he?"

"No....Oh, that's right," the other A'gent said. "He goes by the name of Neo."

"Ah, the ring bearer."

"The ring bearer?"

"They made him the ring bearer....good God, Jones!"

"I know, Brown."

Elrond looked at them quizzically.

"Well, I'm afraid he can't be your ring bearer for much longer. He needs to come with us."

"That is impossible unless the true ring bearer returns."

The A'gents looked at one another. "Huh....well...could you tell us where he is?"

"It seems to me that you intend to do him harm and Middle Earth needs him to accomplish this task. Can you not simply wait until he is finished?"

"Well, we'd like to, but you don't know what Smith is like."

"There's no telling what he'd do if we failed."

"I wish there was more I could do for..." He stopped as they pointed shiny metal black things called guns in his general direction. "What pray tell are you doing?"

"I'm afraid you leave us no choice but to force you to cooperate."

Maybe he should have pretended to be A'gent S'mith after all....

***

Ah, here it was....Nuzgul, ring wraiths, etc. etc. Why did everything have to have so many names? What was so important about names to humans anyway? Smith found it all rather tediously tiresome.

At least the Nuzguls had stopped slicing things up like little human children throwing tantrums. He really wasn't sure what to do with them. Evidently, you needed some ring to make them work properly.

Basically all of this could be blamed on one convieniently dead man named J.R.R. Tolkien. He frowned and skipped over a poorly-written battle scene. Maybe he should have let Jones take this book anyway. He doubted his two associates knew what they were doing.

Oh well. Nothing in here at all about how to communicate with Nuzguls. How disappointing. He sighed and closed the book before running a search on Nuzguls until he found the program he was looking for.

***

tbc