Disclaimers: I don't own any of these characters. Not the ones from the Matrix, not the ones from LOTR. I only own the craziness that is this fic idea. :]

Author's Note: It all comes from thinking far too much about how Elrond looks just like Agent Smith. And from beginning to obsess over both fandoms.

***

"You have to see it for yourself. This is your last chance. After this there is no turning back. You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes... "

Neo stared at Morpheus hardly paying attention the endless stream of words coming out of the man's mouth. He was getting kinda hungry and beginning to wonder what was the point of all the babble.

He blinked at the man held out two pills. Blue and Red. Lousy choices really. He didn't like those two colors at all. His favorite color was...

And then he saw it, glittering on the carpet right next to Morpheus' chair. It looked almost like a green jellybean. Green jellybeans were his favorite. he smiled and bent down to pick it up.

"...Neo? What are you doing?"

He stuffed the jellybean into his mouth. "There was a piece of lint...on the..floor and it bothered me so I was just--"

"That's...great, Neo. But right now I need you to just pick either the red pill or blue pill?"

"Do you have any green or purple ones?"

"....the color isn't important. Let me explain it again. The blue pill is bad, the red pill is good. Now which pill do you want?"

"....the red pill?"

Morpheus smiled and handed it to him.

Neo popped it into his mouth and washed it down with a glass of water before following Morpheus to the machine.

***

Morpheus tried to explain what the pill did as Neo sat down in the chair. It was kinda comfy and then he remembered he was supposed to be listening... "What does that mean?"

Morpheus twitched and one of the others grinned, "It means buckle your seat belt, Dorothy, 'cause Kansas is going bye-bye."

"Oh.....which one of you is the scarecrow?"

But his pathetic attempt at humor went unanswered as he felt his hand become metallic and shiny and the world around him shift. Then he saw strange writing appearing along the coat of silver beginning to cover his skin.

Muffled voices spoke around him: "What does that mean?" "...I don't know."

And then Neo was gone.

***

"He's not here," Tank replied over the cell phone. "He's not here OR in the Matrix. I can't figure out where the hell he is."

"What do you mean he's not there?" Morpheus bellowed into the phone. This was just not his day. First, he found the One and discovered he was a complete moron and now he had lost the Moron...er...the One.

"He chose the red pill right?"

He turned around. "Yes, Trinity, he did...." Then he thought back to their conversation. "And...I think he ate a piece of lint off the carpet..."

"...a piece of lint?" Trinity stared as Morpheus began crawling along the floor examining the carpet.

"Yes, help me look for...what are all these green jellybeans doing here?"

"Green jellybeans?"

"Yes." Morpheus held up the bag.

"Is this someone's idea of a joke?"

"....Smith!"

"Smith?"

"This must be his work."

"....right."

"All we need to do is eat some of these green jellybeans and then we'll find Neo."

***

Trinity sighed. In the end, it was her, Switch and Cypher that were going to be sent. She didn't mind working with Switch but she really wished Apoc was going instead of Cypher. There was something about him that she didn't trust.

They had each eaten a green jellybean, all of them trying not to laugh in Morpheus' face. Clearly their illustrious leader was losing his grip. And then they had each eaten another red pill and all sat down as Tank stared the program.

She braced herself and stared at the writing that had begun to appear on the metal goop covering her skin.

"Elvish," she heard Switch mutter in awe and then they were gone.

***

tbc