Knuckles: Zzz...
Master Emerald: Kaboomie!
Knuckles: The Master Emerald just exploded while I was off duty! For shame! Who did that?
Tikal: Twinkle, twinkle. I'm just a ball of light! Don't mind me!
Chaos Zero: Blub.
Knuckles: A watery thing! Since you're standing next to it, I'll assume it was you. Hi-keeba!
Chaos Zero: Blub.
Knuckles: Oh, Angel Island's falling. Violently squishing people is fun!
Sonic: I can jump between sky scrapers and not die because I'm the hero! Whee! Oh, look, crime scene.
Chaos Zero: Die, humans!
Police: A monster! KILLITKILLIT! ...Oh, our guns don't work on the creature made out of water. Let's just run away then. AIEEE!
Sonic: Hi-keeba!
Chaos Zero: Blub.
Eggman: We're gonna kick your aaaass, we're gonna kick your aaaass.
Tails: Flying highly experimental and highly dangerous planes over heavily populated areas is fun! Oh, the ground is certainly approaching quickly today. Aieee!
Sonic: Let me help you up!
Tails: Lookit! A chaos emerald! SHINYYYYYY. Follow the shiny!
Sonic: Oohh, shiny...
Eggman: Hi! I'm the villain! I'm Doctor Eggman! Or was it Doctor Robotnik? Look at the shiny emerald, Chaos! SHINY!
Chaos One: Blub.
Eggman: Chaos is the god of destruction! Albeit a squishy and hugable one! Bye!
Sonic: Bastard!
Tails: Let's go get the other emeralds!
Sonic: Okay!
Knuckles: Finding emerald pieces, finding emerald pieces... Oh, a sentient light!
Tikal: Behold, Knuckles, your honorable ancestry.
Echidna tribe: HYPER HYPER HYPER HYPER! WHEEEE!
Chief Pachacamac: Even though we've shown incredible battle prowess thus far, we must steal the emeralds from the innocent little chao so we can really get medieval on those foreigners' asses.
Tikal: Oh no you don't!
Eggman: Boo!
Sonic and Tails: Eek!
Eggman: I'll knock you two out. Even though I could have killed you in your sleep, I won't, because that would be smart. Hey, look, another emerald.
Sonic: Bastard! I mean, zzz.
Knuckles: Hey, it's Eggman, and he's holding something shiny. Paranoia kicks in with a vengence. Gimme!
Eggman: This isn't it!
Knuckles: Oh, nevermind.
Chaos Two: Die, echidna!
Eggman: Okay, now that you've effectively beat up a god, why don't you go bother Sonic and Tails for a while? They have Master Emerald pieces!
Knuckles: Okay! Kill!
Knuckles: Even though I got my information from Eggman, who has tricked me in the past, I'm going to believe him. Sonic and Tails are trying to steal the Master Emerald! Hi-keeba!
Sonic: Bastard!
Eggman: Hi! Thanks for the emeralds.
Sonic: Bastard!
Chaos Four: Die, hedgehog!
Eggman: Exposition! Behold my big shiny red aircraft that eerily resembles a certain bodypart we won't go into! Bye now!
Sonic: Bastard!
Tails: Let's get my other plane, the one I DIDN'T crash, and stop him. Oops, we crashed anyway.
Gamma: I'm one of the coolest characters, but my storyline will be short anyway.
Tikal: You get some of the plot regardless! To the past!
Chao: Listen to us squeal!
Tikal: How cute.
Chaos: Hi there! I'm their god!
Tikal: Aiee killitkillitkilli- I mean, hello.
Big: I don't do anything particularly important in the story, other than chase my frog around.
Tikal: But you'll get told some of the plot anyway!
Knuckles: Finding emerald pieces, finding emerald pieces. Oh damn, that light again.
Tikal: Beat it, Chaos!
Chaos: Neverrr!
Tikal: I'll actually have to communicate with my father, then.
Knuckles: Stop confusing meeee! Hey, the Master Emerald is almost finished. Time to follow that convenient robot to get the rest of it.
Gamma: Off to blow up/save my siblings. This is the only game in which destroying and rescuing means the same thing!
Amy: Whine whine whine, all I get to do all day is shop and whine. Oh, a bird just nailed me in the head. And a robot is chasing it. Of course I'll get involved! That means Sonic will have to rescue me at some point!
Tails: I'm unconscious! Memories, ooh, memories. Sonic helped me a lot by letting me run after him that one day in the jungle. Hey, a frog with a Chaos Emerald.
Tikal: And now, for an important flashback. I'll recite poetry for you!
Tails: Uh, that's nice.
Big: Hand over the frog!
Froggy: Quick escape! Whee!
Tails: A large, overweight cat just flung himself at me bodily because I was holding a frog. Life can get no stranger now. Well, at least I still have the Emerald. Even though I had no time to repair it or even work on it, really, the prototype plane is fixed and works perfectly now.
Sonic: Hey, I survived the fall from Tails' plane. That's the power of being the hero, I suppose.
Amy: Sonic!
Sonic: AIEEE KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT- I mean, hi, Amy!
Amy: Save this bird.
Sonic: Aiee!
Amy: No, that's MY line. I've got to be kidnapped, after all. Aiee!
Sonic: Oh, she's prisoner of Eggman now. I guess that in order to be the hero I have to save her.
Tails: Tally ho!
Gamma: Hand over the bird.
Amy: No. Set us free!
Bird: Staaaaaaare.
Gamma: Okay.
Knuckles: I'm done. Time to go home!
Tikal: Forget that! Look, everything in the past is on fire, even though Chaos is a water-based lifeform! Chew on THAT for a while.
Eggman: If my transforming aircraft won't stop you, this robot will!
Amy: No! Leave the poor, innocent, heavily-armed robot alone!
Sonic: ...Okay!
Tails: The Egg Carrier is exploding. I don't know why, but it is!
Eggman: If my transforming aircraft and my robot won't stop you, Chaos will!
Chaos Six: Blub.
Sonic: Hi-keeba!
Chaos Six: Aieee!
Eggman: ...Oooor not. Bye now!
Sonic: Bastard! I'm going to jump off this aircraft without a parachute to get you! And I'll survive because I'm the hero! Whee!
Chaos Six: Blub.
Knuckles: Hi-keeba!
Chaos Six: Aieee!
Amy: Okay, birdie. Let's find your family.
Gamma: Conveniently, I am its family, and I blew up a little while ago thanks to plot contrivance.
Amy: Well, that was easy. Time to spout cheesy lines about seducing Sonic as if I don't have any other aspirations! I just love how I was written.
Knuckles: Look, the Island can float again! Time to sit around and whine about being alone.
Tikal: Look at me! I'm shiny light!
Sonic: Must follow the shinyyyy liiiight. Oh, an ancient temple. With an ancient painting of Chaos! Foreshadowing. Whoop, sudden change of scenery.
Tikal: The chao are unconscious, my own people beat me up, and a once-peaceful god is on a rampage. Time to exploit the Master Emerald!
Sonic: Okay! Oh, I woke up. Everything's back to normal now. Hey, it's Eggman! Bastard!
Eggman: Aiee!
Sonic: Well, that's that. Time to go lay around somewhere until the finale.
Eggman: I must succeed somehow, even if that means blowing myself up with a missle! Whee! ...No explosion? Oh, it's a dud. I'll fix that!
Tails: You're not setting it off, if only so that I can have SOME character development at some point in the series! Hi-keeba!
Eggman: Aiee!
Knuckles: I have six emeralds extra to guard now, go me. Oh, the Island fell again. I wonder if that's bad.
Chaos Zero: Hi-keeba!
Knuckles: Crap. We're screwed.
Tails: Knuckles is in a jam! To the batcave! ...I mean, Angel Island!
Sonic: Okay!
Tikal: Instead of letting you go get the last emerald and preventing the utter destruction of humanity, I'll use the last vital moments to distract you with the past.
Sonic: ...Okay!
Chief Pacachamac: Beat my daughter up! Hurt the innocent little animals! We must get the shiny things!
Echidna Tribe: SHINY THINGS! CHARGE!
Chaos: Chaos Control! ...I mean, RAAAUGH!
Echidna Tribe: Aiee!
Sonic: Ooh, that sucks.
Tikal: Seven servers chant, seven servers chant, this is the seven servers chant. Of course my grandma knew this day would come, she had a copy of the script. Time to piss Chaos off!
Tails: While you were having fantasies about civilizations being destroyed, Chaos got the last emerald and is on his way to destroy the city and eventually, the world. What do you have to say about that?
Sonic: Oops. ...Let's go watch!
Perfect Chaos: Because an ancient people filled with greed knocked my chao over, I'm going to make your toilets overflow! Mwahahaha!
Eggman: Not if I have anything to say about it!
Perfect Chaos: Die, human!
Eggman: Yara kanjiii!
Tikal: Let's lock him up again so next time he'll be REALLY good and pissed!
Sonic: Shut up. We're going to help him by beating the shit out of him! Hey, look, it's the emeralds. And there are people who actually survived Perfect Chaos' flood? Oh well. That doesn't matter right now! I'm shiny and they're cheering my name! Cue the game's main theme! Whee!
Perfect Chaos: Raaaugh! Owie!
Tikal: See the chao? They're happy, so you can stop your tantrum.
Chaos Zero: Okay!
Tikal: Since we were locked away in the emerald for thousands of years, we're technically dead. Let's ascend into video game heaven together!
Amy: This is such a touching moment...
Tails: ...Can we go now?
Sonic: Whoa, the city's really trashed. I'm not cleaning this up! I'm outta here!
Knuckles: And there he goes.
Tails: And you know, despite all of the wreckage, the flood of water, the shattered buildings and highways, the probably thousands of dead bodies... the city will be just fine in a few months, when it comes time for us to run through it at the beginning of Sonic Shuffle.
Tikal: Look! A happy picture of the two of us and some chao! Be happy, everyone! Happy!
Chaos: Yes. You'll need the squishyness for when you beat SA2. Trust us on this one.
END
Master Emerald: Kaboomie!
Knuckles: The Master Emerald just exploded while I was off duty! For shame! Who did that?
Tikal: Twinkle, twinkle. I'm just a ball of light! Don't mind me!
Chaos Zero: Blub.
Knuckles: A watery thing! Since you're standing next to it, I'll assume it was you. Hi-keeba!
Chaos Zero: Blub.
Knuckles: Oh, Angel Island's falling. Violently squishing people is fun!
Sonic: I can jump between sky scrapers and not die because I'm the hero! Whee! Oh, look, crime scene.
Chaos Zero: Die, humans!
Police: A monster! KILLITKILLIT! ...Oh, our guns don't work on the creature made out of water. Let's just run away then. AIEEE!
Sonic: Hi-keeba!
Chaos Zero: Blub.
Eggman: We're gonna kick your aaaass, we're gonna kick your aaaass.
Tails: Flying highly experimental and highly dangerous planes over heavily populated areas is fun! Oh, the ground is certainly approaching quickly today. Aieee!
Sonic: Let me help you up!
Tails: Lookit! A chaos emerald! SHINYYYYYY. Follow the shiny!
Sonic: Oohh, shiny...
Eggman: Hi! I'm the villain! I'm Doctor Eggman! Or was it Doctor Robotnik? Look at the shiny emerald, Chaos! SHINY!
Chaos One: Blub.
Eggman: Chaos is the god of destruction! Albeit a squishy and hugable one! Bye!
Sonic: Bastard!
Tails: Let's go get the other emeralds!
Sonic: Okay!
Knuckles: Finding emerald pieces, finding emerald pieces... Oh, a sentient light!
Tikal: Behold, Knuckles, your honorable ancestry.
Echidna tribe: HYPER HYPER HYPER HYPER! WHEEEE!
Chief Pachacamac: Even though we've shown incredible battle prowess thus far, we must steal the emeralds from the innocent little chao so we can really get medieval on those foreigners' asses.
Tikal: Oh no you don't!
Eggman: Boo!
Sonic and Tails: Eek!
Eggman: I'll knock you two out. Even though I could have killed you in your sleep, I won't, because that would be smart. Hey, look, another emerald.
Sonic: Bastard! I mean, zzz.
Knuckles: Hey, it's Eggman, and he's holding something shiny. Paranoia kicks in with a vengence. Gimme!
Eggman: This isn't it!
Knuckles: Oh, nevermind.
Chaos Two: Die, echidna!
Eggman: Okay, now that you've effectively beat up a god, why don't you go bother Sonic and Tails for a while? They have Master Emerald pieces!
Knuckles: Okay! Kill!
Knuckles: Even though I got my information from Eggman, who has tricked me in the past, I'm going to believe him. Sonic and Tails are trying to steal the Master Emerald! Hi-keeba!
Sonic: Bastard!
Eggman: Hi! Thanks for the emeralds.
Sonic: Bastard!
Chaos Four: Die, hedgehog!
Eggman: Exposition! Behold my big shiny red aircraft that eerily resembles a certain bodypart we won't go into! Bye now!
Sonic: Bastard!
Tails: Let's get my other plane, the one I DIDN'T crash, and stop him. Oops, we crashed anyway.
Gamma: I'm one of the coolest characters, but my storyline will be short anyway.
Tikal: You get some of the plot regardless! To the past!
Chao: Listen to us squeal!
Tikal: How cute.
Chaos: Hi there! I'm their god!
Tikal: Aiee killitkillitkilli- I mean, hello.
Big: I don't do anything particularly important in the story, other than chase my frog around.
Tikal: But you'll get told some of the plot anyway!
Knuckles: Finding emerald pieces, finding emerald pieces. Oh damn, that light again.
Tikal: Beat it, Chaos!
Chaos: Neverrr!
Tikal: I'll actually have to communicate with my father, then.
Knuckles: Stop confusing meeee! Hey, the Master Emerald is almost finished. Time to follow that convenient robot to get the rest of it.
Gamma: Off to blow up/save my siblings. This is the only game in which destroying and rescuing means the same thing!
Amy: Whine whine whine, all I get to do all day is shop and whine. Oh, a bird just nailed me in the head. And a robot is chasing it. Of course I'll get involved! That means Sonic will have to rescue me at some point!
Tails: I'm unconscious! Memories, ooh, memories. Sonic helped me a lot by letting me run after him that one day in the jungle. Hey, a frog with a Chaos Emerald.
Tikal: And now, for an important flashback. I'll recite poetry for you!
Tails: Uh, that's nice.
Big: Hand over the frog!
Froggy: Quick escape! Whee!
Tails: A large, overweight cat just flung himself at me bodily because I was holding a frog. Life can get no stranger now. Well, at least I still have the Emerald. Even though I had no time to repair it or even work on it, really, the prototype plane is fixed and works perfectly now.
Sonic: Hey, I survived the fall from Tails' plane. That's the power of being the hero, I suppose.
Amy: Sonic!
Sonic: AIEEE KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT- I mean, hi, Amy!
Amy: Save this bird.
Sonic: Aiee!
Amy: No, that's MY line. I've got to be kidnapped, after all. Aiee!
Sonic: Oh, she's prisoner of Eggman now. I guess that in order to be the hero I have to save her.
Tails: Tally ho!
Gamma: Hand over the bird.
Amy: No. Set us free!
Bird: Staaaaaaare.
Gamma: Okay.
Knuckles: I'm done. Time to go home!
Tikal: Forget that! Look, everything in the past is on fire, even though Chaos is a water-based lifeform! Chew on THAT for a while.
Eggman: If my transforming aircraft won't stop you, this robot will!
Amy: No! Leave the poor, innocent, heavily-armed robot alone!
Sonic: ...Okay!
Tails: The Egg Carrier is exploding. I don't know why, but it is!
Eggman: If my transforming aircraft and my robot won't stop you, Chaos will!
Chaos Six: Blub.
Sonic: Hi-keeba!
Chaos Six: Aieee!
Eggman: ...Oooor not. Bye now!
Sonic: Bastard! I'm going to jump off this aircraft without a parachute to get you! And I'll survive because I'm the hero! Whee!
Chaos Six: Blub.
Knuckles: Hi-keeba!
Chaos Six: Aieee!
Amy: Okay, birdie. Let's find your family.
Gamma: Conveniently, I am its family, and I blew up a little while ago thanks to plot contrivance.
Amy: Well, that was easy. Time to spout cheesy lines about seducing Sonic as if I don't have any other aspirations! I just love how I was written.
Knuckles: Look, the Island can float again! Time to sit around and whine about being alone.
Tikal: Look at me! I'm shiny light!
Sonic: Must follow the shinyyyy liiiight. Oh, an ancient temple. With an ancient painting of Chaos! Foreshadowing. Whoop, sudden change of scenery.
Tikal: The chao are unconscious, my own people beat me up, and a once-peaceful god is on a rampage. Time to exploit the Master Emerald!
Sonic: Okay! Oh, I woke up. Everything's back to normal now. Hey, it's Eggman! Bastard!
Eggman: Aiee!
Sonic: Well, that's that. Time to go lay around somewhere until the finale.
Eggman: I must succeed somehow, even if that means blowing myself up with a missle! Whee! ...No explosion? Oh, it's a dud. I'll fix that!
Tails: You're not setting it off, if only so that I can have SOME character development at some point in the series! Hi-keeba!
Eggman: Aiee!
Knuckles: I have six emeralds extra to guard now, go me. Oh, the Island fell again. I wonder if that's bad.
Chaos Zero: Hi-keeba!
Knuckles: Crap. We're screwed.
Tails: Knuckles is in a jam! To the batcave! ...I mean, Angel Island!
Sonic: Okay!
Tikal: Instead of letting you go get the last emerald and preventing the utter destruction of humanity, I'll use the last vital moments to distract you with the past.
Sonic: ...Okay!
Chief Pacachamac: Beat my daughter up! Hurt the innocent little animals! We must get the shiny things!
Echidna Tribe: SHINY THINGS! CHARGE!
Chaos: Chaos Control! ...I mean, RAAAUGH!
Echidna Tribe: Aiee!
Sonic: Ooh, that sucks.
Tikal: Seven servers chant, seven servers chant, this is the seven servers chant. Of course my grandma knew this day would come, she had a copy of the script. Time to piss Chaos off!
Tails: While you were having fantasies about civilizations being destroyed, Chaos got the last emerald and is on his way to destroy the city and eventually, the world. What do you have to say about that?
Sonic: Oops. ...Let's go watch!
Perfect Chaos: Because an ancient people filled with greed knocked my chao over, I'm going to make your toilets overflow! Mwahahaha!
Eggman: Not if I have anything to say about it!
Perfect Chaos: Die, human!
Eggman: Yara kanjiii!
Tikal: Let's lock him up again so next time he'll be REALLY good and pissed!
Sonic: Shut up. We're going to help him by beating the shit out of him! Hey, look, it's the emeralds. And there are people who actually survived Perfect Chaos' flood? Oh well. That doesn't matter right now! I'm shiny and they're cheering my name! Cue the game's main theme! Whee!
Perfect Chaos: Raaaugh! Owie!
Tikal: See the chao? They're happy, so you can stop your tantrum.
Chaos Zero: Okay!
Tikal: Since we were locked away in the emerald for thousands of years, we're technically dead. Let's ascend into video game heaven together!
Amy: This is such a touching moment...
Tails: ...Can we go now?
Sonic: Whoa, the city's really trashed. I'm not cleaning this up! I'm outta here!
Knuckles: And there he goes.
Tails: And you know, despite all of the wreckage, the flood of water, the shattered buildings and highways, the probably thousands of dead bodies... the city will be just fine in a few months, when it comes time for us to run through it at the beginning of Sonic Shuffle.
Tikal: Look! A happy picture of the two of us and some chao! Be happy, everyone! Happy!
Chaos: Yes. You'll need the squishyness for when you beat SA2. Trust us on this one.
END