When Pip saw his mon cher cry, he felt like he was punched in the gut. Especially since it was his fault.

It all started when the Hellsing Organization got a pool. For training purposes. It was a 20 x 20 ft pool, that was no more than 5 ft deep. Due to the soldiers catching colds, they only use it when the weather was bearable for the soldiers. It was surrounded by fake grass and weeds, made to look like a swamp, if ever the soldiers had to come across a situation where they have to cross any body of water, which has happened before, they'll be ready. Sir Integra thought it was wise to place it at the end of the training course, deep in the ground to make the experience more realistic. Captain Pip thought back to when he lost many men who drowned in murky waters before. Of course every one of his men learned the life saving CPR, if ever needed. But sometimes it never worked.

It all started with one thought. One thought to finally get a kiss from his mignonette. He swore to her that he'd get a kiss from her one day. There was one thing all Captain Pip's men knew, it was that Pip always kept his promises. Pip thought about how CPR was also known as "the kiss of life". And part of his plan involved the new training pool.

Seras Victoria,once a police officer now turned vampire, watched the famous Wild Geese dodge and weave through the course, now with the new addition. Her ears caught the sound of the captain's orders and discouraging remarks.

"Come on! My grandma can go faster than that!"

And,

"You're supposed to go under the barbed wire! ShitFuck! "

Not to mention a few French curse words here and there. By the end of training, Seras was under a tree, safe from the sun under its cool shade. The captain dismissed his men to return to the barracks. Seras didn't notice the one eyed Frenchman until he was only a few feet away.

"What are you doing laying about? Weren't you supposed to train like the rest of us?"

Seras looked up and saw a cigarette in between his smirk. Seras gave him a smile and replied,
"Well I don't see you training now do I?"

Pip chuckled and looked at the vampires body, he couldn't help it, girl didn't know the strength she had in her fists and controlling men, especially him.
If that girl wasn't a vampire. But even that won't stop him. But mon cher is not just any girl, she's a good girl. And a beautiful one too.

Seras felt his stare on her body and felt her face grow warm. Whenever Pip looked at her like that her stomach felt a little weird.

"Well," he took one last drag from his cigarette, spit in his hand and put out the stick of tobacco's fire and threw it on the ground.

"How about you and me go through the training course, one on one?" Said Pip.

Seras thought for a moment,
Captains up to something, I can smell it. I have incredible speed, so if he was looking for a race he'd knew he would lose. He probably wants to see my uniform wet from the new training pool. Well I'll have to turn the tables now won't we?

"Okay, one on one. May the best man win." The vampire said.

Pip chuckled sticking out his non-spit hand, still going over the plan in his mind. Seras returned the hand shake with a triumphant smirk.

The training course was made of 4 parts, a high wall, a fence, and barbed wire where you crawl under, and finally the pool.

Seras and Pip stood at the start and Pip shouted,
"Ready, Set, Go!"

Seras was already in the lead, coming across the high wall which she easily jumped over. She looked back saw the captain climbing over the brick wall not long after she did. Next was the fence, Seras thought she would play a little fair and hooked her fingers in the metal holes along with her steel toed boots and hopped over the fence like she would a small hurdle. Seras saw the barbed wire and started crawling, hoping the captain wasn't close behind, resulting in him to see under her short, skin tight mini skirt. Before she knew it her front was covered in dirt, her knees her a little scraped and she was out from under the sharp metal. Finally came the "swamp", now it's time to ruin his plan. The vampire thought. Right at the edge of the blue water, she crouched into a squat and used her long legs to propel her forward and jump over the long strip of water to the end. The blonde landed gracefully at the shore with a big triumphant smirk and screaming
"I win!".

She noticed she didn't hear a splash or sounds of a person struggling through water either. Seras looked behind her and what she saw made her eyes go wide. Three things went through the police girl's mind,

1. The captain face down in the water

2. He's not moving

3. THE CAPTAIN IS FACE DOWN IN THE WATER!

"Oh my god! Pip!"
Seras ran to the side of the pool, grabbed Pip's arm and dragged back to ground.

"Pip? Pip, come on wake up" she said with a shaky tone in her voice. Please don't die please don't die

She put two fingers on his pulse in his neck.

"Its faint, come Seras think!" She tried to pull ideas out of her mind, like water safety drills and what she learned at the academy.
Then it hit her,
"CPR!" She shouted

She dipped her head and saw one thing that ruined Pip's plan and gave it away.

His eyelid was moving.

"Pip?"

Then it hit her, that bastards faking! But why? Well whatever it is I'll wake him up. Then she slipped her arms under his body and lifted him up with her immense strength and threw him the in pool. She crossed her arms and just stared an intense glare. Just as she suspected he stood up with the water reaching his knees and started sputtering and coughing due to the water that got in his mouth. From head to toe Pip was soaked, his long braid was heavy and dripping with water, his hat that flopped off his head was floating like a brown leaf. He looked up and almost cringed at her death defying stare. Almost. A nervous smirk appeared on his face while he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Uh, lovely day for a swim eh?"

That did it.

"You Pip Bernadette are the most cruel, inhumane man I have ever met! What is wrong with you, I thought you almost died!" She screamed. Seras felt tears form in her eyes, she knew they were noticeable because of their deep crimson color, so without a word she stomped off forcing herself not to shed a tear. God dammit no wonder why Master thinks I'm weak.

Pip was left speechless, he made his Mon cher cry. He knew it was a really stupid idea but all he wanted was a kiss. It was just supposed to be a little prank. I took this to far, and for what a kiss? I'm a real asshole. He felt like it too, he had a horrible sinking feeling in his stomach. Pip has killed, stole, and he all did it just for money, but nothing was compared to this.

"I really fucked up everything." the mercenary said.

I'll give her time to cool down, then I'll go apologize.

Seras opened the door to her bedroom and leaned on it with a shuddering breath forcing down her tears. How could I be so bloody stupid? It's a five foot pool and thought he drowned! He's supposed to be the great captain Bernadette, of course we won't drown. But why did he do it? What did he get out of it? Did he do it just to make fun of her? Was it some stupid prank? Or was it a test created by her master? No his tests would be more...complicated. Seras took a deep breath, and said

"I need a shower."

She shed all her clothes and threw them in the hamper, dirty from the training course. She turned on the shower, full blown hot. Immediately the room was filled with steam, while in the shower she thought of earlier.

It wasn't like she was scared of him dying she was scared of the thought of losing him, Pip meant a lot to Seras, she thought she almost lik-

Seras felt a sharp pain in her big toe.

"Ow!"

She looked down and realized she dropped the slippery bottle of her strawberry shampoo.
She picked it up and quickly finished her shower without another thought. She then put on baggy sweatpants the she always wore to sleep, and a t-shirt that was two sizes too big. She picked up her brush and started brushing her hair. Suddenly a knock on the door came, that's probably Walter coming with my bag of blood.

"Come in!" She called.
Her intensified hearing picked up the sound of the door opening and closing with a click.

Seras didn't bother turning around,

"You can leave the bag of blood on the table, Walter. Thanks." Seras said, continuing to brush her strawberry-blonde locks.

"Last time I checked my name isn't Walter, cheri." said a husky voice that Seras knew to well.

She whipped around only to find Captain Pip Bernadette in slacks and a t-shirt, Seras could smell a muscular, fresh scent meaning that Pip just took a shower recently like her. His braid was wrapped tight around his neck tight, and to add to it he had his trademark smirk.

"Pip? What are you doing here?" Seras frowned. Still a little mad at him.

"I came here to apologize. It was a stupid thing of me to do, you know about me drowning." when Pip said drowning he added air quotes to make his explanation more clear.

Seras gave him a soft smile,

"Thanks Pip, I accept your apology."

Pip frowned and said,
"I didn't really know you would get that worked up. It was just a measly little prank."

Seras raised an eyebrow at his statement,

"Pip I thought you almost died, as much of a ridiculous thought that that is, granted it was a 5 foot pool, but still."

"Cheri, I didn't know you cared." Pip chuckled a little.

"Of course I do."

Pip halted his chuckled and looked at the vampire. Pip could see sincerity in her eyes. Her hair, a curtain in the way of her ,what Pip thought, beautiful blue eyes. He could smell strawberry all the way from where he stood. He could still see her noticeable curves in her baggy clothes, Pip always wondered how she was still an innocent virgin. Any guy would be lucky enough to steal her beautiful innocence, she has seen so much horror and blood. Yet, she is still happy and kind, she was like a breathe of fresh air from all the blood and violence. That's what Pip loved about her, among other things.

"Huh?"

Seras giggled, Mon cher you don't know what you do to me. Pip thought.

"I said, you mean alot to me Pip, surprisingly."

She said you, not Integral, not Alucard, not the soldiers, not Walter, him. Pips reply was even more stupid than the last one,

"Why?"

"I feel like you accept me for who I am, the rest of the geese just accept me for the way I look. Granted you do act just like they do, but i feel like you look past my looks and that I'm a vampire. And I thank you for that, Captain." as Seras was talking she couldn't help but look into his one eye.
She noticed his intense gaze and couldn't help but feel a blush coming on. Then it hit her,

"Pip? Why did you prank me anyway? If it was just for laughs then you and I don't have the same definition in humor." she with her arms crossed, brush still in one hand. She, oblivious to how her large breasts innocently pushed up. This didn't go unnoticed by the captain, his one eye focused on her...assets.

If only I still had both my eyes. Pip thought.

Of course being as observant as Seras was, noticed his pervert ways.

"Ahem, Pip my eyes are up here." to emphasize her point she pointed up to her bright blue eyes.

Pip, snapped out of his trance, nervously rubbed the back of his head.

"Well mon cher to be honest..."

Seras nodded, silently asking him for him to continue.

"I kinda, sorta, well was trying to, trick you to kiss me."

Seras whole face turned red,

"YOU WHAT!?"

Pip cringed at her sudden change in volume.

"I said I was sorry."

"That was before I knew you tricked me in trying to kiss you!"

"I know Mon cher and again I'm sorry, I feel like a real arse."

Seras's gaze soften at his apology, well he didn't mean for the trick to go too far I guess I could forgive him, for now. He is really sweet...sometimes.

"I'll forgive you Pip, you really wanted to kiss me that badly?"

"More than you know." he muttered.

Seras giggled, that girl and her bell sounding giggles, Pip thought. Seras slowly walked over to the one-eye merc. until she so close her strawberry scent almost burned his nostrils.

Seras stood on her tip toes and give him a brief kiss on his cheek. Letting her soft lips linger on his cheek that felt and smelled freshly shaven-ed, much to both their dismay the kiss ended. Seras could feel her cheeks heat up, while Pip stood there frozen.

Seras shyly looked at the ground and said with a tiny voice,

"Maybe some day you'll get that kiss."

In the end, he really did get that kiss.

Okay okay I know what you're all thinking, this is the most stupidest concept ever.

But cut me some slack.

This was my very first fanfic like ever. So I didn't really know as much back then as I do now.

I may have made a few spelling tweaks here and there. But the rest was untouched.

Tell me what you think gimme some feedback.

AND KEEP THOSE HATES COMMENTS COMING!

Guys that last one I got in The flower with only one petal, was freakin hilarious. I lost my shit. Stuff like that makes my day. So feel free to be honest in the comments. I really do appreciate it! XD XD XD

10/19/17. Now edited and refined for your reading pleasure.