Hey guys! So, THANK YOU SO MUCH for the lovely reviews! I have no idea why they're not showing on here, but I'm getting them all through email, and I'm so overwhelmed - thank you! Sorry it has been a few days as I know some of y'all have been wanting the part 2! I'm on holiday in Spain at the moment (Sherri Saum is currently in the same country as me and that makes me emotional lol)! So here is the update and I hope you enjoy! Also, I made a new cover which makes it look more story-like - let me know what you think!
All mistakes are mine and English is UK version. Happy reading!
FLASHBACK
"Guys! I'm home!" Stef shouted to her kids, walking through the door, laying her keys on the side. "And tea is already ready!"
From around the corner in the living area Stef heard her youngest's voice, "Mum how did you even manage tea when you just walked through the -" Before seeing what she had in her hands, "Pizza!" He cried. From this four teenagers bolted down the stairs to greet her.
"You know," she began, greeting them all with kisses on cheeks. "Pizza is the way to your mama's heart too." They all laughed, hurried into the kitchen, and all helped in clearing the table and making room for their treat of a dinner.
"Mama barely lets us have pizza anymore," Jesus whined. "It's so annoying."
"Okay," Stef joked, opening the pizza boxes and hearing a symphony of teenagers inhaling the luxurious, calorific scent. "Sorry Mama cares so much about you being healthy. I'll tell her to stop." Winking over to Jesus, she rubbed his arm before making her way to the head of the table and getting herself a cheesy slice.
"To healthy eating!" She toasted with her pizza.
"To healthy eating!" They joined.
"I know she like never goes out," Mariana said, fiddling the crusts she had left of her pizza. "But I really miss Mama."
Stef gave her daughter a sympathetic smile. She knew Mariana and Lena had such a strong bond, they both held each other in special places in their hearts. Mariana was still very much dependant on her time with her mama and "Mama hugs". The talk of her soon going off to college made Lena pale and tugged at her heart strings; although Lena was the proudest Mama in the world of all her children, she was going to break her heart when they all would begin to move out to college and their futures. Whenever Mariana was having boy problems, girl issues, homework trouble, or just needed someone to confide in, Lena was her immediate go-to. No matter how much reassurance and affection Stef gave her, even in the first few months of having them, if Mariana had done so much as scraped her knee she ran to Lena's side.
A series of "Me too"s travelled around the table, followed from one by Stef herself.
Looking around the table, seeing her children now laughing, chatting enthusiastically about Anchor Beach gossip, as well as each others love lives, Stef couldn't feel more at ease with herself, with her life. Or, she could if Lena were here. However, it was important they both had their nights out with their friends, and didn't abandon them due to their busy home-life; Stef had known how much Lena needed a night out and when she mentioned the girls were having a get together Stef insisted that she must go.
Now she was craving Lena. Craving her like a drug. Craving her touch, her warmth, her presence. Craving her arm to wrap around her side, her body next to hers, her head on Stef's shoulder. Craving her intimately, as if they had never been intimate before. Craving her laughter, her voice, her eyebrows raising whilst asking a question, her 'look'. Craving her scent, her smell of cocoa buttered skin, the softness, the delicateness. Craving her.
Stef's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of their landline shrieking, making them all jump and immediately stopping the conversation.
"The hell was that?" Jesus blurted.
"Jesus!" Stef warned. "Language young man! And that, my son, was commonly known in the early noughties as a 'landline'." Putting emphasis on the word, in a strong, awful British accent.
"You're so bad at accents." Callie laughed.
"Shut up!" Stef whined playfully, nudging Callie slightly before walking over to the landline.
All of the children's voices came out in hushed voices as she answered.
"Hello, Officer Stefanie Adams Foster?" Stef asked down the phone.
"Officer Adams Foster, your partner is Lena Adams Foster am I correct?" A monotone voice came through the line.
Confirming the slightly incorrect statement Stef spoke back, "Yes, she is my wife actually."
A silence fell across the room as all the children were trying to get in on who was calling about their mama.
"Oh, sorry Madam." The man's voice came through the phone again, this time with a more human element, almost a sympathetic tone. "This is Kevin from San Diego City Hospital, I regret to inform you that your wife, Lena Adams Foster was attacked this evening. She has a stab wound to the stomach and is in critical condition, she has lost a large amount of blood so doctors have rushed her into surgery."
Stef's heart begun to sink, her throat was closing, her blood rushing from her head, and her vision hazy. She was about to pass out. Lena, her Lena. Her Lena had been attacked. She was in critical condition. She should have been there to protect her. How did this happen? Whilst she had been laughing with their children, joking about Lena's efforts to keep the family healthy, she had been bleeding out. Was she going to make it? How long would she be there for? What would she tell the kids? When will she be able to see her? Were the other women with her? Were they hurt too? If not, why she was alone? No. Stef was not going to play the blame card now.
"Mom," Brandon said taking Stef's shoulder. He had never seen her like this. Her skin was grey and her eyes were so many miles away. "Mom! What's happened? Who is it?" Brandon still sensed no movement, he heard voices from the other end of the phone.
Glancing over to Callie he ordered, "Go call Mike, tell him to come over ASAP." Callie nodded, running off to grab her cell.
"Mom. You need to talk to me." He turned his attention back to Stef who was still in the same position as before.
"She - I, Errr - Mama - Lena-" All that was coming out was no good, Brandon pulled a stool over from the table and allowed Stef to sit down, still hearing a voice from the other end. The voice was very quiet as the phone was still glued in Stef's hand to her ear, but Brandon could make out some sort of consolation coming from the other end. "What happened to Mama?" He pushed, not wanting to waste time.
"Stabbed." She blurted, "Mama was stabbed." A lone tear fell from her face as Brandon took the phone from her.
"Sir, erm where shall we go?" He asked, never being in this situation before. Hearing his response, he replied, "The ICU? Oh, God! Is she okay, Is she going to be okay?"
"That much young man I cannot tell you." Was the unhelpful, yet accurate response the teenager got in return. Brandon thanked and ended the call. He was speechless. His hands, that now held his mothers, were clammy. It must've been a genetic thing, as he could feel hers were the same.
"Mom," He began. "Callie's called Dad, he'll be over to watch us. You need to go and see Mama. She needs you, you need her. Call us when you hear anything or she's stable and we will come down. Are you gonna be okay to drive?" Now looking back at Stef her hard-as-a-rock composure was beginning to slightly come back to her. Colour was beginning to reappear in her cheeks and she no longer looked as though she were going to black out. However, she still looked zombie-like nonetheless.
"Oh B." She cried, pulling him in to hug him tightly. Hugging him like she was never going to let go. Pulling away and looking around she could see all her children were crying, even Callie, who had not so much as called Lena 'Mama' was allowing the tears to fall freely down her cheeks. "Oh babies, she said signaling them to all come forward and join her and Brandon for a group hug. All five kids and Stef stood in the kitchen hugging, their crying soon quietening and tears slowing. "Right." Stef cleared her throat, wiping her eyes and cheeks with the sleeve of her shirt. "I'm gonna go to the hospital to see Mama. I believe she is going to be all right babies, she's a fighter she is. She's the strongest Mama Tiger there is."
All of them gave soft smiles at Stef's reference; a name Lena normally called her.
"But I thought you were Mama Tiger?" Jude questioned, his voice going up at the end. All of them gave small laughs, Stef pulling him closer and placing a kiss on the top of his head.
"Oh, my sweet boy."
Kissing them goodbye Stef made her way to the hospital, her hands shaking, whilst internally reminding herself consistently throughout the half hour journey that she needed to concentrate on the road, as she shouldn't really be driving whilst in such a vulnerable, emotional state. However she needed to be by the side of her woman, and she didn't want Brandon or any of the children to see their Mama in a bloodied state. She knew it had troubled considerably seeing her with tubes down her throat, so she knew her best bet was to leave them at home until Lena looked okay enough for them to see.
Rushing into the hospital she ran towards the reception, telling the receptionist Lena's names, what she could remember of the traumatic phone call and her relationship to the patient. After stating Lena was her wife, she heard a groan and a grumble, followed by some muttering from the old couple clearly eavesdropping beside her. Usually, Stef would have said something, something to defend her relationship, her love for the love of her life, but now was not the time, nor was she in the right frame of mind.
"Oh yes," she said glancing at the screen in front of her. "Ma'am, your wife is in the ICU. Just go to the elevator, on your right. Go up to the fifth floor, out of the elevator, go left and she's in room 204C it's about 20 yards down the corridor."
Stef thanked the woman and ran towards the elevator, pushing the button and tapping her foot in impatience even though she had been stood there for all of two seconds. The doors opened and she followed the receptionist's instructions, her palms sweating and thoughts racing through her head.
Finding a nurse on the fifth floor, she led Stef to Lena's room. She had just got out of surgery, they had removed the knife and stopped the internal bleeding. She was now assisted with breathing tubes as well as an IV. Reaching the room Stef let out a breath she didn't realise she was holding and walked through the door the nurse was holding open for her.
She paused in the door way. Seeing her love. Her love, her love. Lena looked so fragile, too small for the bed and the tubes. Her hair messily stacked on her head, and in an oversized blue nightgown. Only her chest was moving methodically, her hands still, bare, with small scratches. Her ring still loving sat on her finger, giving life to her current state. Her eyelashes still had her mascara painted on them, however, now it had travelled to below her eyes, and left trails down her cheeks. Lena had been crying, and Stef had not been there to kiss the tears away.
The nurse could sense Stef's fear. Her new found fear of the sudden fragility of her wife's life. Stef was not alien to death, she saw it a lot on her job on the beat. But she believed her wonderful woman her wife was unaccustomed to it. It would never happen to her.
Placing her hand on her shoulder, Stef learned this action seemed to be a common way of expressing words that were unknown, the nurse turned towards Stef.
"Just keep talking to her," she ensured. "Tell her everything she means to you. Just keeping letting her know you are here, she is not alone. I'll give you two a minute." She said before going to leave.
"Can I hold her hand?" Stef whispered. As if she was becoming child-like, asking for verification before she did actions that only occurred naturally to her.
"Of course lovey," the nurse replied giving her a smile, the wrinkles in her cheeks creasing that little bit further. She must have been near to retirement age, Stef thought. "Just mind the IV."
Leaving them to it, the nurse shut the door behind her and Stef bolted to Lena's side. The side away from the oxygen, the drip, and the heart monitors.
"Oh, my sweet, sweet love." She kissed her delicate hand she was holding, never wanting to let go. Trying to see some flicker of recognition or response, but nothing. Lena lay there, accompanied by the noises of the machinery keeping her alive.
Stef wept.
FLASHBACK ENDS
"Oh my love," Stef held her, breathing in Lena's hair, trying not to hurt her already-hurting wife. "You're okay, You're going to be okay." Her tone was ambiguous as to whether she was stating it or asking.
Lena just simply let tears spill from her eyes, holding on to Stef for dear life, her hands shaking. She had calmed down when she was with Gretchen, Gretchen had managed to distract her from what had happened to her. She had done the same method of distraction in their relationship over a decade ago. But now, what had happened to Lena and the reality of what she had been through was hitting home, as she was with the person who is her home.
Stef pulled away so she could see Lena's face, whilst Gretchen stood up to allow the two some privacy. Stef placed a soft, yet meaningful kiss on Lena's quivering lips. Turning when she heard the door click, she turned after the woman she wanted to get to know more, someone who she thought would make a great friend. "Gretchen," she called, getting the tall, lean woman to turn around. Her beauty was undeniable, she could see what Lena had seen in the woman all that time ago. But her beauty didn't compare to Lena's in Stef's eyes, and Stef made an internal promise to tell her wife how much she loved her, how beautiful she was, inside and out, and how lucky she was to have found her every day. "Thank you for everything." Gretchen smiled back at the pair, whispering a barely audible "No worries." Turning to go away.
But before she could continue, Stef called after her, "We'll see you around?" She felt Lena squeeze her hand, as though thanking her for getting on so well, as well as allowing and trusting Gretchen to stay with Lena. "I would love that," Gretchen confirmed, giving the two another smile before leaving completely.
"I'm so sorry I wasn't here when you woke my love, I'm so sorry." Stef welled up. "And I'm sorry I wasn't there last night. I'm sorry I didn't pick you up from the bar. I'm sorry I let it all happen. I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect y-"
Stef was cut off pushing a 'sh'ing from her wife. "My love, nothing you could've done would've stopped him. I don't blame you, you were at home with our babies. Our beautiful kids." Lena cooed, now consoling her wife. However, her strong composure didn't last long. "He just came out of nowhere." She choked. "I tried to stop him, he just wouldn't stop. He didn't stop until he heard people. I think he freaked. And then the knife- the knife- it er - it all just came out of nowhere Stef." Both of their hearts broke as they cried together.
For an hour they were talking about the attack. Talking about reporting the attack to the police once Lena was out of the ICU; what they were going to tell the kids; that Lena wanted to talk to someone about it. The list was endless, they knew they still had so much to discuss, and Lena would have a long healing process but, for now, Lena wanted to talk about something else.
"How are the kids babe?" Stef took this as an indication that Lena was finished talking about it all for today.
"They're okay. They're hurting that their Mama is hurting. We have strong little soldiers though sweets. Brandon was unbelievable, sorted everyone out, got Callie to call Mike to watch them before I could even remember my own name." Stef smiled, sat on the side of Lena's bed, stroking her cheeks, seeing them pink at her touch. "Mariana and Callie looked after Jude, I think Jude actually did top and tails in their room. Jesus I think stayed up on watch all night. You know, that kid, I think he's always been your knight in shining armour. He always wanted to protect you at all costs. Remember that time when Brandon was arguing with you about some piano thing he wanted to go to that was thousands of dollars and he'd only been playing for a year? And then Jesus waltzed in and went all ninja-warrior on him, trying to stick up for you and calling him a 'bogey-brain'." Both Stef and Lena chuckled at the memory, Stef was right, he had really been like her security guard, he still was.
"I think that was their first proper name-calling-ninja-warrioring brother fight ever," Lena added.
"Pha! Sure wasn't their last!"
"Stef, I er, I think I er…" Stef sensed Lena's hesitation was leading to a more serious conversation. But Lena stopped talking and looked away from her wife's eyes.
"Love," Stef worried. "What's up?"
Lena lay silently, fighting the tears. "It's nothing." She whispered none-convincingly. Returning her gaze back to her woman.
"Lena, darling, your eyes are glassy, and tears look like they're ready to spill out any second now. I'm worried, please talk to me, my love. Nothing you could say would ever hurt me." She rubbed Lena's hand, smiling reassuringly at her, her eyes glistening with love, with admiration.
"It's stupid…" Lena began. "And we couldn't possibly do it. And I'm selfish for thinking about it. And I'm selfish for bringing it up now out of all times-"
"Woah," Stef stopped her, talking softly. "Lena, baby, please stop blaming yourself when I don't even know what's going on in that beautiful mind. I believe an extremely intelligent woman like you does not have a thought that is classed as 'stupid'. And I also believe that nothing anything the most compassionate person, whom I am honoured to call my wife, could ever think of would be classed as 'selfish'. And as for bringing it up now my love, traumatic situations can sometimes bring good things, as they allow to say things you're actually thinking, or ask for things you want. They do this because you get a different and refreshed perception on the fragility of life and how precious it is. So talk to me baby, I'm here."
Lena loved Stef. She knew what to say and when to say it, most of the time. She knew how to calm Lena down, and help make her the best possible version of herself she could be. It would be useless lying to Stef about this, keeping this wish. No, need, away from her. She held Stef's hand tighter, and took a deep breath before barely managing:
"I want a baby Stef."
So thank you so much guys! This initially was gonna be a one-shot, that went to a two-shot, but now I'm thinking should it be a three-shot and have Stef's reaction and them talking about it?! Let me know what you think! I hope you all enjoyed this Part 2 x