Author's note: This story is somewhat canon-AU-ish... Takes place four years after Chad left KND. Some birth-years were altered, to fit the story (I do not know the exact ages of anyone, aside from Chad and maybe Maurice), Lizzie is human, Nigel did not go to space-stuff and Rachel never knew, that Chad was a double agent all along. Yeah, that's kind of it... If I mess up the high school/junior high stuff please don't be mad. My country's school system is a bit different (much different), so all I have is Wikipedia to lean on. Oh, and another thing: I could not find Maurice's last name anywhere, so I improvised.

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from KND, nor the rights. I just twist them according to my fantasy. And now, raise the curtains!

1. Musings

"And it is important to understand, that Europe did not have any great wars since Napoleon was defeated..."
Chad was bored out of his skull. He fiddled a bit with his tie, trying to get distracted even for a moment, thinking how he could use the garment as a new weapon, or something... Would be more useful than those dreadful B.R.A.-s they use now, not to mention he was getting tired of putting on something so... pink.
Mr. Clavington was happily chatting away about World War I., and Chad was well aware, that he should be paying at least a bit of attention, but this was borderline impossible. First and foremost, because the guy was as boring as to watch the paint dry on the wall, second, tonight was selection night when the Teen Ninjas organize a party and choose the few new teens, who could possibly be their allies.
This would not be such a big deal if Maurice would not have invited Abigail Lincoln.
Herbest friend.
Since Rachel got decommissioned (two years, six months and two days ago, not that he counted), he did a marvelous job in avoiding her at all cost. This was a hard task, considering, that they lived on the same street, but none the less, the training, the TN tasks and beating Nigel Uno could distract him enough.
Although Rachel and Chad had a few years between them (two and a half, NOT that he knew), back in his KND days, he only felt a close attachment to only one operative under his command. Rachel almost had the same circumstances, as he had – minus the crazy, ice shooting parents.
He met her not long before she was recruited. It was such a simple situation, really... She took out the trash, and he got home from junior football practice. She smiled at him on a particularly horrible day, and she instantly managed to make it at least a bit bearable. They started to talk, she was recruited, and Chad was so happy he had a true friend along the lines of his troops.
Then he became Supreme Leader, she turned out to be the best damn spy in the entire organization, and they drifted a bit apart. They tried to keep contact, but being undercover meant, that conversation was limited to briefings and information change. Chad hated it.
He made her global tactical officer not only for her wits, brain, and skills, but because he simply needed someone to be next to him, either serving as his third and fourth eyes by forming a plan, or fending off weird fangirls, or just simply... talk.
They had small moments of privacy, where they could just be good friends, discussing stuff, that normal kids do.
And then Uno happened.
Nigel Uno started to talk to her. This was the first time Chad felt rage bubbling up for practically no reason.
Uno.
He knew, it was stupid to be angry at a boy, who was even younger than Rachel, but still. Chad needed one hell of a self-control not to say anything nasty to her regarding their relationship. To top it all off, Nigel thought of him as his role model. He even spent time with him, and he could not find an issue with the kid. Chad hated that too.
Uno...
So he stayed silent, trying to enjoy Rachel's company, but Uno kept on coming back to their conversations.
"Did you know, that Nigel could defeat a whole army of ice cream truck drivers?" she asked once astonished "I knew, he was good, but not this good..."
"Nigel said, he could salvage some of the Delightful's cake this year, then he gave some to me..."
In moments like these, he just stayed silent, gritting his teeth in anger.
U n o...
Rachel must have realized his mood, as she changed the subject to her little brother, and Chad could feel his anger slowly disappearing.
Days went by, and Chad got more and more attached to the memories he shared with her. Like going out for ice cream with Rachel and the rest of the KND leadership, or simply leading an ambush with her, eating lunch, debriefing, and he realized, he does not want to forget these. His decommission day got nearer and nearer, and he started to panic. He will not remember anything from all of this.
What he built up.
What he created.
What he felt.
This will be robbed from him. Just because of some stupid rule.
And Rachel will not be there for him.
She had the highest chance to be elected as Supreme Leader after he is gone, and as such, she will not leave the Moonbase. After that?
Will she miss him?
Will she be talking to him, will she be allowed to talk to him?
The possibility of losing her simply hurt too much.
Then he got the opportunity to be a teen undercover agent. He could keep his memories, all of it. Chad was overjoyed. Then the details as of how he will depart from the lines of Kids Next Door were told by Numbuh Infinity, and his happiness withered away in an instant.
He had to be the villain, had to act as if he would spit in everything's eye he built up with Rachel and the others.
Everyone will hate him.
Scratch everyone, RACHEL will hate him.
At that time, losing his memories vs. keeping them, but act as an ass was the toughest decisions he made, and there was simply no right choice. In the end, he decided to go undercover, protect her from afar, and from what he could fend off, keeping her memory as a reason to fight. But every time they met on the battlefield, her eyes were full of betrayal and hatred towards him, and he simply broke under the pain.
Avoiding her.
Not looking at her.
Not asking about her.
He could do it successfully for years, and he continued this habit even after he got the news, that Rachel was decommissioned. She was accepted to a high school on the other side of town, which made avoiding her a bit easy. The problem was not solved, though, as they still lived in the same street.
Despite these obstacles, he managed not to meet her, but Rachel's memory did not go away. It stuck with him just like a mocking ghost. He dated a few girls briefly, but eventually, they were not good enough to dim Rachel.
At this point, he was angry with her.
He wished he could let go all of his memories just as she did, but there was no possibility for that. So the practices, the ambushes, the sabotages stayed, coupled with the constant absence of her.
Sitting in the world's most boring history class, he briefly considered the 'what if'-s. What if Abby brings Rachel (not good), or if Abby brings Rachel and Uno (Nope. Just. Nope.). He eventually forced his thoughts in a different direction, tuning out Rachel with years of practice, but he knew very well: for a few hours of peace he will pay with yet another dream of her. Or a nightmare. It is a matter of viewpoint...

Rachel hummed, as she opened her locker after her last period.
Paaarty, paaarty, imma be fabulous... - she hummed to herself, while she packed the needed books for the weekend.
She checked her watch, noting that there is still enough time to make a quick dinner for her mother - if she can arrive tonight - and drop Harvey off at his friend's house, before meeting up with Abby.
"Oy, princess!" she heard from behind her opened locker door. She closed it, and faced none other than the infamous Maurice Walsh himself "Heading home?"
"Yup" she beamed "I will have to get stuff done before I could get to your house tonight."
"Let me guess, being a nanny and a cook?" Maurice wiggled his eyebrows. Rachel rolled her eyes, closing her locker, heading to the entrance with her companion.
"An awesome cook, mind you." nodded the blonde girl.
"As I said before, McKenzie, tasting is believing."
At the entrance, they parted their ways.
"Nine o'clock, sharp, McKenzie, don't be late! And bring me a present!"
Rachel laughed it off, knowing exactly what he meant, turning to head home.
She was glad, Mau could get himself together.
They knew each other through Abby, more accurately, Abby's sister, Cree. She and Mau were an item until their messy breakup. Rachel knew only so much. Abbs did not like to mention her sister, and Rachel did not force her to spill.
Her ride rolled in, and she took it absentmindedly. Sitting next to the window, Rachel met yet again with a weird sensation, that something is missing from her life, not knowing, what.
Certainly not Nigel.
As much as she liked him back then, their thing was over and done. He did not have time for her, while seemingly having time for everything else. Being late from dates, or not showing up at all, saying a lame excuse, doing everything all over again. It was okay in the beginning, but as time progressed, so wanted Rachel their relationship to progress (possibly from square one), but that somehow fell away. She could not remember what was the last straw, but she simply did not want to wait around.
As far as Rachel could remember, the breakup was not that devastating as she pictured her first breakup to be. She told Nigel straight, that she cannot do this, he seemed to be accepting it calmly, and they parted ways. Knowing that he was on good terms with Abby, it was a bit awkward to tell her the news, but Abs did not make a fuss about it. Although it was a bit foggy to remember...
She arrived at her street, and the familiar feeling of something missing from her life returned full force. Rachel tried to force her brain to work on the missing part, like, a dozen times a day, to no avail. It must have been important once, but there was something, closing it out from her mind...
She stood at her door, still looking around her street, searching for a hint, a clue, but just like for the last four years, she came up with no answer at all.
"What are you doing, idiot..." she muttered under her nose, opening the front door, entering the house.
She started to prepare a quick meal just in case her mother arrives today late in the evening. Her lawyer schedule was always all over the place. The woman had to work late, but tried to be the best mother for them. She was at every sport or school event, tried to work hard to raise Rachel and Harvey, and they loved her for that. The siblings did small chores around the house to make life for her a bit easier, and Rachel grew, she tried to learn more and more tricks from their cleaning lady, babysitting her brother, learning together with him. This almost zeroed her social life. Thank God, Harvey was an extroverted kid, who had a lot of friends. Sometimes she could drop him off at one, and she could go out with Abby. Just like today...
Night rolled around fast. Mr. Higgs, one of Harvey's friend's father took the boys home from school, so Rachel had the afternoon for herself. She left a quick note to her mother on the table along with the dinner set, checked the lights, and closed the door.
Off to Abby's! - she thought, almost skipping her steps.
For a brief second, she wondered, why she felt giddy. They went together with Abby to some parties, but Rachel did not feel such buzz at all. Before she got on the bus, she looked back at her street, still trying to make it spill the image, or person, or feeling she was missing. And as always, it came up with nothing.

Abigail stood in front of her mirror studying herself in full battle gear, as she called her outfit for tonight.
I look nothing like her... Not a single bit - she thought.
She was already done with preparations and was waiting for Rachel to arrive.
Abby thought, that once she was "done" with KND, Cree would at least try to be civil with her.
She tried to be a good sibling, she really did. Even tried to accept the fact, that Maurice and Cree were together. Accepting to see him every now and then coming out of Cree's room in the morning, which meant only that. She swallowed her feelings, pretending she didn't care.
After her pretended decommissioning from the KND, Cree's still distanced herself from her younger sister. So much so, that when Abby found out, that Cree was seeing someone behind Maurice's back, the braided Lincoln girl called Cree out on her rudeness. This caused their relationship to get even worse. They stopped pretending in front of their parents, and to be honest, Abby felt her shoulders a ton lighter, and she hated it.
She really missed the old days, but learned the hard way, that you cannot get everything you want. Not her sister back, not Maurice.
Abby tried to be content with the current situation. Even though Cree and Mau split up, she held an awesome friendly relationship with him, trying to step over her silly crush. If she could get Rachel's shit together after Chad threw goo in their face, her shit shouldn't be such a hard task either. So far, she took one step forward, sliding two steps back.
She checked her makeup one last time and exited her room in a relatively good mood.
"Going out, honey?" her father asked, peeking from the newspaper.
"Yup."
"Do you have everything with you?"
"Yup"
"Even that?"
Abby sighed exasperatedly.
"Yes, dad, even the teargas spray." She took it out of her bag, showing it to her father, shaking the bottle to prove, it is full of tears from hell.
"Good girl. Have fun!"
She went to the living room, plopping down on the couch, flipping through Facebook and every other site. Her finger stopped at a picture of Nigel and Lizzie. They seemed to be together again. It was damn time Nigel matured enough. He needed the wake-up slap from Lizzie and Rachel to see what he did wrong, and how he can correct it.
She remembered one of their conversations with Rachel back in their KND days on the Moonbase, as they came back from a particularly rocky mission. She saw, that Nigel and Rachel were not in their best shape relationship-wise, and Rachel sported some major dark circles under her eyes.
They all suffered at the loss of Numbuh 274, but Rachel was the one, who was damaged the most. As she took over the KND, tried to get everything back afloat, changing all the security codes, updating the security systems. Nigel was by her, helping, and after Lizzie broke up with him, Rachel and Nigel just... kinda... happened. On the outside, Numbuh 362 was the strongest female leader, but there were small moments of weakness, that only Abby saw...

"I am tired, Abby" Rachel whispered "So tired."
Numbuh 5 looked at her, not saying a word. They were in her Moonbase office, doors locked. They both felt extremely drained, down and out, so they organized themselves an impromptu sleepover, to just talk it out. They both were in their PJs, sipping on a mug of hot chocolate.
"Being agified, losing comrades, the battling all day every day... I just..." the blonde girl continued in a small voice "I just want to rest, and never look at this again. After Chad left, I wanted to find someone I can hold onto, but being with Nigel drains me even more. And I am a horrible person for saying this."
Abby opened her mouth to say something, but she simply closed it again. She saw it. Nigel and Rachel tried this thing between them, but it just... didn't buzz. She hated Lizzie for hurting him back then. She thought, that when the time comes, and Rachel does dump Numbuh 1, or the other way around, she will be furious with the one, who left the other, but instead, she only felt sad, that the two of them could not work their stuff out.
But what is there to work out anyway? - Abby thought - Numbuh 1 is still focusing on KND, something, Rachel just wants to let go, and Numbuh 1, being himself, does not see this at all.
"I want to be decommissioned." Rachel said longingly "These are horrible words, but this is the truth."
Abby hugged her, as her sister used to hug her when she was sad or felt terrible after an arctic base training day. She should say something, that could comfort her best friend, but nothing came out of her mouth. What could she say anyway?
"It's still half a year away, is it?" She asked instead.
Rachel nodded.
"But don't worry. I will not let anyone down or anything, I don't want to be the blonde ditz who just flies away, when things are rough, I will fight just as I should..."
Abby stopped Rachel mid-rambling.
"You didn't let anyone down. And you will not, I know that. I am just simply sad, that I cannot do anything to cheer you up."
Rachel mustered a half smile, sipping on her chocolate.
"You don't hate me for not being in love with Nigel. That is more than enough for me."
Abby felt the relief rolling off of Rachel in waves, and she was a bit relieved herself, that even though she could not be a good sister, she manages to be at least good friend.
"Enough of my jibber" Rachel perked up "What happened with you after I left you with Mau for debriefing?"
Abigail turned a bit redder, but that still worth it, as Rachel giggled a bit.

Abby heard a knock on their door, and she opened it with a big grin on her face.
"Party?" Rachel asked.
"Hell yeah, baby!" Abby punched in the air, and sprinting out of the house, dragging Rachel with her.

Author's note: Thanks for reading so far :) This is absolutely an experimental story, so please review. Thank you!